Sorry I don't post more often here. My introvertness extends to my online activities as well. The begining of this year was a huge fall for me, due to struggles in mental health, with home life and my church life. I shared before I ended up leaving my home church. I had guilt in doing so, thinking I had betrayed my brethren there. God had then reminded me about my prayers late last year, how I asked Him to remove me, if I was not suitable for the roles I had taken on, some of which was in a form of pastoral roles. My main issue came with how the elders where limiting God from working within the church. I had become aware they lacked much faith in God, especially when I would be given a chance to show how God was willing to use the church to reach out to thousands of people who went by the church each day.
I haven't rescinded my membership yet, so I get the weekly newsletter still. On Friday, I decided to take a look if they had found a new senior pastor finally, as it has been several years they've had one. I saw they had not. Then as I looked at the board of elders, I noticed there was a change. One of the new elders is a recent member in the recent years, who helped me with the live stream service once a month. There are things I had noticed about him, which I brought up to my friend, who is the music director. I recall clearly, my friend saying this person wasn't suited to be in a spiritual role for the church. I had originally thought about becoming an elder myself last year. I saw this as a clear sign, as my old church rejecting God's direction, especially His wisdom. I feel I'm at peace now, for leaving this church behind. I'm still seeking God for healing, and seeing where He wants me to serve with the gifts He has revealed to me last year.