I can sympathize with you, and I wish you the best in handling your displeasure. I know elders who felt the same way in 2012, and especially in 2016 when Obama-Biden Afghanistan bombings killed about 100 innocent civilians incl. children and women.
From the military perspective, here is the difference. I've said it before, but I'll repeat it:
Determining
where military action should take place is determined by the president and Congress. If those two branches of government are in agreement (that is, Congress as a body has not disagreed with the president), nobody in uniform has the authority to say "No" to the "where."
Once in combat,
how we conduct the battle is governed by the Law of Armed Conflict, which is a compendium of US laws already legislated by Congress.
If a target is itself a valid target according to the president and Congress has failed to disagree, certain levels of civilian casualties are permitted by the LOAC if they cannot be avoided or occur through accident despite due care taken. That's what was happening in all but one known case during the Obama and Biden administrations. There were the same kind of incidents that happen in any conflict.
The one questionable incident was the attack against Anwar al-Awlaki. Contrary to popular opinion, the US military killing American citizens--even deliberately--is
not prohibited in every circumstance. There are circumstances that permit it. It was questionable at the presidential/Congressional level whether Anwar al-Awlaki was an allowable target. That's far above the soldier's authority to determine, and that is not governed by the Law of Armed Conflict. But
how he was killed was correct under the LOAC.
As we are debating in this thread the actions of military members under the Law of Armed Conflict, the issue of Anwar al-Awlaki is irrelevant. It has nothing to do with killing shipwrecked belligerents. Killing shipwrecked belligerents who are no longer capable of returning fire is illegal in every instance under the LOAC.