Maybe I'll give updates haha.
well ? ?
I think a church is the best place to do so.
Of course, I would say . . . we mean a church with people who live God's way.
And if I am not God's way, a real lady of Jesus can see this and not be fooled into marrying me. And my ways can get me connected with someone who is not right for marriage.
Yes, my own character with its ways can be the dictator of who I am capable of connecting with.
A dysfunctional woman can make a project of finding a guy . . . then get married and wonder how he could have such issues. The gentle and humble ones could see through her. Softening your voice and talking Jesus is not the same as becoming gentle and humble and doing what Jesus has us doing with
"rest for your souls." (in Matthew 1:28-30)
I think I have seen how a person can become a serial divorcer > using the same methods, not getting real character correction, therefore getting the same result, over and over . . . while blaming someone else and maybe blaming mistakes in judgement, but never making sure with God.
Dictating what interests someone has to have is not submitting to what our Father desires > love does not have us marrying someone so we can use a person for what we want and what we even can dictate. We can claim we don't want to have a dictator over us; but this can be so we are the dictator . . . right?
This does not work - - no matter what our methods are, or how we use praying as a gesture. Our character has more to do with it
But here is what can happen > you can use the Net or a church or prayer or a pick-up bar while you are about yourself, and get connected with someone else who is about himself or herself. And then both of you can be shocked at how you managed to marry such a foolish person. But if you gave your word to Jesus . . . keep your word; now you are in a perfect situation to discover how to love
another impossible person. It is possible with God.
"Good understanding gains favor,
.But the way of the unfaithful is hard."
. . . . . . . . . . . . (Proverbs 13:15)
Or . . . you can share and pray with mature couples and widows and widowers who have lived for Christ and learned how to submit to God and obey how He has us loving. And feed on their example, and grow in Jesus, then discover who He has you connected with. And then help one another to keep discovering how to love,
and this in order to feed how God has you loving any and all people, not just certain favorites you want to use for what you want!!
"if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" (in Matthew 5:46)
Marriage, then, in Jesus, is a research laboratory where we can make breakthrough discoveries in how to love another person in a close relationship. And then we can use this for relating with all our other Jesus family people, while offering this to even enemies, in case God has them join us.
Because God's love in marriage is all-loving love . . . not to fall in, but to grow in
My personal understanding, now, is prayer needs to include actively seeking God for real correction so we can have real connection with Him and others who are for real in Jesus. And pray to make sure with God about how we see each other person. And make sure with God about who we belong with, for marriage and other sharing.
Oh, and by the way > first get into trusting God, like this, and I would not even start to consider a person unless I deeply trust the person. I am now rather flabbergasted at how people marry people they don't even trust. And in their relating there are issues people have even with ones they think are their soulmates; yet, they don't trust the person to talk about an intimate concern.
So, first I would say, get into truly and deeply trusting Jesus for His input and His personal guiding. You can't be fooled while you keep with how Jesus guides you > He guides us according to all He knows about people, and according to if and how He knows each person is right to be trusted.
So, prayer includes being
"swift to hear" God (in James 1:19-20)