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Tortured and Harmed by Evil Men

Jun 12, 2023
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Please do not delete I am not sure where to post this but I do need people's support. I am not sure if this is allowed here or not but it is a struggle that I need support with.


Not graphic or obscene or anything that is detailed about this however, the reason is only because people can't handle looking at it and not deleting my comments I am not going to share anything that is too much in a certain way. However the whole scenario is terrible. I have so many people on facebook that said "How dare you be so bad?! You are bad for what you did! You are evil!" and this is not even true. I am the victim to evil not the other way around.

I have been censored too much. I am trying to find an area where people will just let me talk about it. I can't talk to a therapist at this point about everything I've been through because of my situation being very bad right now. But I can share this with people and just have support. I don't mind opinions but it's really better to just say "wow I'm sorry" or something nice. But I need to vent and share because it's horrific. If you cannot handle anything about rape, torture or evil things do not read this.

I am usually LDS. I am no longer LDS or mormon. I am not going to share why.
However, raised in this community I was very valiant in it. However, God said "get out," so I did.

One thing I want to say is that those people who were censoring me were people who claim to be either valiant or not valiant christians. Both sides censored me and kicked me out of groups due to what? Nothing wrong, but everything I said was somehow offensive somehow due to my beliefs or my random experiences or even my main terrible experiences.

I went to the temple daily and I won't share how many temple baptisms I did but I did many because I believed in it. I wanted to serve daily. I didn't go out of my way everyday to be better than others and do things with a bad attitude. I did it well. However, this is to explain that I am good not wicked, mean, judgmental or whatever else people think.


I am not able to get out of my scenario and so I will explain what happened a little so that people understand that when I say I was raped for 7 years in a prison then I was. However, it's not a traditional prison. I resisted, I complained, I said STOP! LOUDLY! I tried smacking and hitting and moving away, but they are evil and would torture me more if I did not obey.

I am going to say this as well, my problem is the worst that has ever happened. I can say that because God said it was. However, I cannot explain all of the terrible emotional and mental things that happened or people will ban me forever and I'm trying to get help.
I do want to also say this before I get into it, I am a good person and I did not do anything to deserve this. I didn't sign up, I didn't know about it, I was captured and then raped by random men in a group.

I am not posting this in the sexual forum because there is no way to actually get comments about this. I need comments right now and I don't care what you say about me so don't worry I'm not suicidal any longer. I used to have suicidal feelings all day long for years because I needed a way out but I refused to die because I would not like myself if I killed myself.

I had been raped daily for 7 years at night every night. I had them take turns even most nights and they hate me. I don't know them but they know me. I said "what is going on?" at first and then I said "I am stuck forever in Hell because of these people!" I said "help me! Help me! Help me! Help me! Help me!" over and over and over again while they raped me. They said "I am ready to rape you tonight. Let's see if you squirm even more tonight." But it was said in a way that was so evil that it made my skin crawl up off my body and into the atmosphere. Do you know why? It's not just "skin crawl" it's "RUN AWAY NOW!" and they did not let me run. They tortured me as well mentally. They said things like "if you don't follow our orders we will harm you more." and it's not your traditional "torture" it's psychological evil that is done to someone that is so messed up and so evil that I won't mention what most of it is, but to get an idea they would do things like "I am evil and I love harming you. Let's use some medicine and see if you die and then revive somehow." and it would happen and I died and then got to live again. This would happen whenever they wanted.

So, if people hate reading this stop and leave. But I am here to say how pure evil people can become in the end. My torture and rape story is the worst of all because usually when people torture you you die in the end. Some survive in my opinion and live sad lives because of it, but my torture is so hideous and evil that it's not going to be discussed more than this comment, if you had Hitler himself say "if I don't kill her, how can i make this even worse somehow than dying?" This is the attitude. They kept me alive all this time to torture me instead of kill me. I would rather have died.


If this is too much you need to stop reading, but honestly this is real life. This is not some hoax, not some lie that I created to scare people or be weird online, I suffered so tremendously because of these 7 years of Hell personified that I don't know what to do and if you delete this you are being a bad person.

I have been harmed so badly that I had to have so much psychological help afterwards that I won't explain it. I was tortured everyday and somehow now because of God I can write things and talk and say things and read things. I cannot usually do this because of what happened.

They medicated me with some medicine that made my body so hyperactive that I couldn't sit down at all, all day. ALL DAY LONG I STOOD AND WALKED IN CIRCLES WHILE THEY WATCHED WITH EVIL JOY. They said "I love this! This is perfect! She'll finally kill herself! We can't do it because if we do we will be found out." So, they tortured me instead of killing me.

I am a victim to evil and I am not evil.
I looked around and couldn't get out, I said to myself "I still believe in God! I know he is real!" and I said "I am so hurt and terribly abused right now I don't know what to do!" and that was the first month of torture and rape and after that I lost my mind enough that I couldn't read for 7 years. I was in solitary confinement of sorts and I said to myself "At least I can pray to God all day. He'll talk to me!" and he didn't. I said "I KNOW GOD IS REAL!" and they laughed.

I said to myself after 7 years and when God miraculously got me out of the situation I said "I will be valiant and faithful as a person! I will follow God forever no matter what happens! I will never harm myself ever ever ever!" And this is my cry to God after the whole ordeal happened to me. I said this "I LOVE GOD! HE IS GOOD TO ME! I LOVE GOD! HE IS GOOD TO ME!" And I couldn't think so I didn't have an ability to figure out how to explain anything to anyone so this is the first time in a while that I have been able to tell people about what happened.

I am not going to share everything of course but I will say many things that are upsetting but it's real life and this happened and it's not some hoax that I made up. I am the most raped person I've ever heard of in my life. Thousands upon thousands of rapes and I said "I love God!" even when it happened.

I am a good person.

Anyway, I need to say this. My captors are not normal gang members they are elite evil men that know exactly how to torture the mind and body. They are very very skilled in everything they do to you. I was harmed so badly mentally that I am so out of it still that it's not even funny.

I walked around asking people for help with my problem on facebook and other areas like the store and they told me "Your problem is nothing compared to mine!" and I want to say something about this a little. African people are known for having worse physical lives than others because they have had such hard trials with money and food and water and they starve to death sometimes. Americans do not have this usually. So, what happens then when people are that obsessed with their own problems and taking such pride in them that they say "how dare you say that you have a harder problem than my child who has a child with disability! her face is so disabled look at it!" and I looked and I said "I would rather have the face deformed forever than to have my problem." I won't say more in this area.

I will explain later in my biography exactly what happened to me. I am so offended at people censoring me because of my problem and what I believe that it is harmful. If I am censored for this post because I said something out of line for some reason you don't agree with, you are being mean but also bad. Please do not censor my post because of what I say. I need freedom of speech for a reason I need to tell the TRUTH! THE TRUTH WILL SET ME FREE!

So, now I need to say this, I am a good person but when people tell me "oh this problem is not even real!" Is very offensive but understandable because WHO GOES THROUGH THAT? RIGHT? However, how can you know for sure? What if it did happen? Why attack me?


So I have had people attack me for saying "my problem is worse than yours." and even "you are being bad by not repenting." and even things that are normal to say like "I am hurting and I need help." I have been censored so much that I cannot find one area to talk in.

So I hope this area will leave this post up so that people can comment and talk to me.

Anyway, I am going to share what happened in many scenarios that were terrible but not with the evil men that I was tortured by. This is people after I was being tortured. People said terrible things to me like "get over it." and things like "how dare you say that you are more important than me." and then people went weird they said "you're evil for being raped!" and things like that.

I said to myself "ok maybe people are bad somehow and I didn't get it but this is still not okay to say to someone who has been raped. Ever." Anyway, so I will let you know I've heard everything under the sun and it doesn't offend me anylonger.

Now, before I get into it I need to say one thing I AM NOT INSANE AND I DID NOT IMAGINE SOMETHING FOR 7 YEARS THAT TORTURED AND HARMED ME.

I also need to say this I AM NOT GOING TO SHARE EVERYTHING. QUESTIONS ARE ALLOWED. I will just say "i can't answer that right now."
I have two scenarios I will share. I need some space mentally so that I can handle my life so this will help.
I lost my friend. My friend I was friends with for a year but we got along so well that it felt like we were best friends for life. That kind of relationship you don't ever let go of. But my friend when I was healing from rape and torture, she came up to me and said "HOW DARE YOU NOT CLEAN MY HOUSE WHEN WE AGREED TO DO THAT SO THAT YOU HAVE CHEAPER RENT! YOU ARE STEALING FROM ME!" I exclaimed nothing to her, I did not yell I said calmly "what is the problem? I don't understand." I didn't remember that I had to do that I was so harmed mentally that I couldn't think or do normal tasks easily daily. I couldn't. And when she said that to me and I was calm she started to yell and scream at me. I froze and I said "i need to get away but I can't somethings wrong my brain is not working! Leave the room!" and I couldn't. Why? Because my captors did something similar to me and made me stay in place due to restraints and then they did terrible things to me and then I couldn't move. So it's not "willpower" at this point it's from torture that I stayed. However for 30 minutes I was screamed at so loudly and I was so calm trying to calm her down to not harm me anymore that I said "something is wrong with this woman. She's not stopping for some reason. She is not trying to help she's trying to harm me." after 30 minutes I understood this. That is a long time to take to understand that someone is trying to harm you. My brain did not register anything at that point. Then I said "please stop" and then she said "NO YOU ARE WEIRD! YOU GO AROUND LIKE YOU'RE A ZOMBIE AND ASK PEOPLE AND beg FOR HELP! YOU ARE BEGGING FOR HELP! HOW DARE YOU EVEN TALK TO MY FRIENDS WHO ARE FAMOUS AND GREAT AND ASK FOR HELP!" my friend was so evil to me that I shudder at this experience still. However I won't explain all of it but this happened and she is now out of my life. I am abused by her verbally and not just her words either harmed me. She kicked me out of the house and said "never come back! You evil witch! You harmed ME!" I said "how?" and she didn't reply.

This is an example of a woman who is liked by many people. And then she does this to me who is harmed so badly that if anything even a frown was given to me I would be in massive pain and tears.

You don't realize how hard that experience was for me. I lost my best friend forever. FOREVER. I don't get best friends easily either. I get friends that don't care sometimes and friends that do and then leave eventually like normal people do get sometimes however, she was my best friend forever and losing someone like that forever after rape, torture and abuse is terrible beyond reason to experience.

I said "my friend is gone" one day as well. She was a different friend I made and she was suicidal apparently. I did nothing to her. I went on a lunch date to meet her and talk fun and happy things and then 2 weeks later she killed herself. I walked to my mother and said "She's Gone" and then they revived her and then guess what she was alive. I couldn't even handle the fact at all that she died so much that I couldn't even figure out what to do in certain ways of my life after that.

I lost my friend, I had one die and come back. Then another friend died recently. Then my uncle died. Then my grandmother died. I lost my other acquaintances. I lost my ability to walk normally because of the medicine the torturers gave me. I lost the ability to think even clearly at all and 2+2=42395258 that much sometimes in my head due to the trauma. I then could not sit down for 7 years in my situation I had with those evil men and then I couldn't read, entertain myself easily like watch or read or do anything in general, sometimes they strapped me down for months and said "you'll never be able to move again." and that frightened me so badly that I still cannot handle sitting down for long periods of time without ptsd issues and evil memories from it. Not only did my friends die, and animals that I loved died. However that's another story. My family was ready to divorce, my brother left the church, my sister ran away and never came back and I haven't seen her for over 8 years sending us scathing letters about how evil the family was by not listening to her say "annoying things that were frustrating" and then leaving the family about it forever and claiming that GOD WOULD BE THE INTERCESSOR AND ONLY WILL SHE TALK TO MY FAMILY EVER AGAIN IN HEAVEN WHERE JESUS WILL SPEAK TO MY FATHER AND MOTHER AND ME ABOUT BEING A GOOD PERSON TO HER AGAIN. I refuse to tell you what she claims but she is evil and refuses to come back and it hurts so deeply because my sister ruined my father and mother so much in not only their own minds and hearts but to other people who hear about what she says happened with them and it is a LIE. Not only did I have this issue but I was arrested for no reason. Yes arrested for fake news actually. I was in a gas station and I asked someone to help me buy something and they did and the cashier called the cops on me and lied to the police saying I stole something. I now have a warrant. And on top of it do you know what happened to me physically this whole time? I can't explain much but the body cannot function properly ever again due to the amount of torture given.

I had not only that problem but finances are always a problem due to my disability that I have at this point with my mind. I am now forever stuck on disability because of evil men. I cannot work or get money to have things that help like therapy, items that make me happy, dvds that would distract me since I can watch them now, and I can't read books well but I bought one and am working on reading it better but anyway.
I won't list every problem I went through, cancer? Yes I went through that too but it was my mom who had it. Death? You obviously know what happened there. People being harmed around me? Yes. People being evil to me? Yes. Losing work? Yes Losing your living arrangement and house? Yes I was homeless several times throughout certain periods of time.
I have only a few things good in my life right now. I have God helping me. I have two birds a fish and a cute dog that I take care of so that I feel better.

I lost my mind after all of this but I write this due to a miracle God gave me.

However, I have over 67 problems I wrote down that I deal with mentally in a given day however, the amount of problems I have received in this life is vast compared to my peers at 30. They might have a few big problems that happened sometimes but usually people's lives are fine compared to mine.

I am very valiant and I refuse to say that I'm a weak person.


I have one last thing to say Do you hate that I think I can handle your problem more than you after I explain how much I was raped, tortured and harmed emotionally and mentally all at once? I mean I am not listing everything, if I did I think you would not be so offended if I said that. But I do believe that I am better at handling problems than most people ever will. And that's okay to say.

Thank you for reading this long post but please if it's truly a problem don't delete it, just put it in the right forum I am trying to get comments however so that I can heal better. Thank you.
 

amd358

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Joyce Meyer suffered the same kind of abuse you mentioned in your post. I think hearing her testimony and how she OVERCAME so many obstacles might encourage you! Here is the audio (2 parts):


 
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