Why I fear Church

[Kit Sigmon]

I am kind of scared to go to church. I struggle with same-sex attraction and I know that homosexuality is sin. I do not live the lifestyle but I still struggle with lust, which the Bible calls adultery and idolatry. My biggest fear is that the people inside the church will not be very kind to me. I see so many threads of people fighting about homosexuality and most people don't understand the struggles. I know that same-sex attraction is very unnatural and it makes people uncomfortable.

You have many people who are very uncomfortable with homosexuals in the church, but then those of us who want to obey God and be Christians who struggled with the desire see all the fighting and quarreling that the church is having about homosexuality. And some people seem very unmerciful. Yeah, they are your speaking the truth about Sin but they seem very nasty about it. I don't know. It makes me not want to go to church. Not because I am afraid of hearing the truth because I already know the truth and I know what scripture says about it, but because people seem to speak the truth without love.

The question is am I wrong about that?

My question is how would others know, if you ain't in sin but struggle with lusts?
Nobody is required to give the church they attend a list of what sin or sins they
be struggling with.
Even if you request prayer...ask them to pray for you to be a bold godly man.

Say that you have a professor who is very intelligent. He is your instructor and he will be your instructor for the rest of the school year. When you do your school work, you want to know if you are doing it right or if you are getting it wrong. But every time he corrects your mistakes he makes you feel like a complete stupid. You want to know what you're doing wrong but you just hate the way that he is correcting your mistakes.

Will it be better to be homeschooled and teach yourself or to continue to be taught by this guy that makes you feel stupid every time he corrects correct your mistakes, even though you are learning from him?

I would talk to the teacher privately about the way they be addressing me, you don't got to put me down in order to teach or correct me. Show me where I
messed up and then teach me how to do the thing correctly.

That's the way it seems sometimes with Christians. They do speak the truth about Sin but sometimes they just don't seem very loving about it.

I am not going around saying they are all so judgemental. We are all judgemental in many ways. I just sometimes wish that people could be less harsh in their judgments.

I don't know. Maybe I am completely in the wrong. I don't know what advice you can give me to be perfectly honest.

I just don't want to go to church and make people uncomfortable. But I also don't want to go to church and feel condemned.

Will God still accept me if I just stay at home and worship him?

God accepts His Children and He say for us to obey Him, be in regular fellowship, be a good neighbor, share His Word with others, be praying, show mercy, act justly and walk humbly with Him.

Everyone at church have they own sin and or sins they be struggling with...there
no one there who has it all together.
The only perfect, sinless person be Jesus.

 

[ToBeLoved]

I am kind of scared to go to church. I struggle with same-sex attraction and I know that homosexuality is sin. I do not live the lifestyle but I still struggle with lust, which the Bible calls adultery and idolatry. My biggest fear is that the people inside the church will not be very kind to me. I see so many threads of people fighting about homosexuality and most people don't understand the struggles. I know that same-sex attraction is very unnatural and it makes people uncomfortable.

You have many people who are very uncomfortable with homosexuals in the church, but then those of us who want to obey God and be Christians who struggled with the desire see all the fighting and quarreling that the church is having about homosexuality. And some people seem very unmerciful. Yeah, they are your speaking the truth about Sin but they seem very nasty about it. I don't know. It makes me not want to go to church. Not because I am afraid of hearing the truth because I already know the truth and I know what scripture says about it, but because people seem to speak the truth without love.

The question is am I wrong about that?

Say that you have a professor who is very intelligent. He is your instructor and he will be your instructor for the rest of the school year. When you do your school work, you want to know if you are doing it right or if you are getting it wrong. But every time he corrects your mistakes he makes you feel like a complete stupid. You want to know what you're doing wrong but you just hate the way that he is correcting your mistakes.

Will it be better to be homeschooled and teach yourself or to continue to be taught by this guy that makes you feel stupid every time he corrects correct your mistakes, even though you are learning from him?

That's the way it seems sometimes with Christians. They do speak the truth about Sin but sometimes they just don't seem very loving about it.

I am not going around saying they are all so judgemental. We are all judgemental in many ways. I just sometimes wish that people could be less harsh in their judgments.

I don't know. Maybe I am completely in the wrong. I don't know what advice you can give me to be perfectly honest.

I just don't want to go to church and make people uncomfortable. But I also don't want to go to church and feel condemned.

Will God still accept me if I just stay at home and worship him?

It is up to you whether you share that information. I wouldn’t personally.

No one will think you have homosexual tendencies unless you make it an issue and I would not.

 

[Monk Brendan]

I am kind of scared to go to church. I struggle with same-sex attraction and I know that homosexuality is sin. I do not live the lifestyle but I still struggle with lust, which the Bible calls adultery and idolatry. My biggest fear is that the people inside the church will not be very kind to me. I see so many threads of people fighting about homosexuality and most people don't understand the struggles. I know that same-sex attraction is very unnatural and it makes people uncomfortable.

Beloved, there is not a single person anywhere on the world that gets to choose his temptations.

 

[Vicomte13]

I am kind of scared to go to church. I struggle with same-sex attraction and I know that homosexuality is sin. I do not live the lifestyle but I still struggle with lust, which the Bible calls adultery and idolatry. My biggest fear is that the people inside the church will not be very kind to me. I see so many threads of people fighting about homosexuality and most people don't understand the struggles. I know that same-sex attraction is very unnatural and it makes people uncomfortable.

You have many people who are very uncomfortable with homosexuals in the church, but then those of us who want to obey God and be Christians who struggled with the desire see all the fighting and quarreling that the church is having about homosexuality. And some people seem very unmerciful. Yeah, they are your speaking the truth about Sin but they seem very nasty about it. I don't know. It makes me not want to go to church. Not because I am afraid of hearing the truth because I already know the truth and I know what scripture says about it, but because people seem to speak the truth without love.

The question is am I wrong about that?

Say that you have a professor who is very intelligent. He is your instructor and he will be your instructor for the rest of the school year. When you do your school work, you want to know if you are doing it right or if you are getting it wrong. But every time he corrects your mistakes he makes you feel like a complete stupid. You want to know what you're doing wrong but you just hate the way that he is correcting your mistakes.

Will it be better to be homeschooled and teach yourself or to continue to be taught by this guy that makes you feel stupid every time he corrects correct your mistakes, even though you are learning from him?

That's the way it seems sometimes with Christians. They do speak the truth about Sin but sometimes they just don't seem very loving about it.

I am not going around saying they are all so judgemental. We are all judgemental in many ways. I just sometimes wish that people could be less harsh in their judgments.

I don't know. Maybe I am completely in the wrong. I don't know what advice you can give me to be perfectly honest.

I just don't want to go to church and make people uncomfortable. But I also don't want to go to church and feel condemned.

Will God still accept me if I just stay at home and worship him?

Yes, God will accept you. He made you, he knows you better than anybody else ever will. Don’t be so certain that same-sex lust is “unnatural”. The animals exhibit it, and so do most humans. Lust, rage and other desires are natural, just like diseases: they’re natural - AIDS and typhoid and malaria are all completely natural, all separate living creations of God, and they all execute their divine programming just like every other living thing. It’s just that the nature of what they do and who they prey on (us), is bad for us.

Don’t drive yourself crazy about being attracted to the same sex. Virtually all of us are, to some degree. If that were not tru, they would not need to put the Brad Pitts and Tom Cruises into action movies mostly aimed at men. Attractive women are attractive to both sexes, and ditto for attractive men. Anybody who goes ballistic about those realities is dishonest. Nor is it immoral to find attractive people of both sexes attractive. It is honest and natural, and God is not going to reject you for that.

It’s the next place on the road: sexual activity, with either sex, or with yourself, that opens up the gap nmbetween you and God called “sin”. But everybody sins, so it’s a shoulder shrug, really. Sexual sin is not different from, or worse than, any other sin (such as cursing in anger). There are people who will lie to you and say it is, but they’re making that up and using it to whip other people. If your church is filled doing that while knowing better, don’t go to that church and let yourself be used as a punchline no bag by other people. Find something else.

 

[Sarcoline]

Bless you, for your honesty. I think God is moving in the lives of many people who feel the same way that you do and I am grateful to see it. I would imagine that it will become easier and easier to find a church who would support your pursuit of Christ to answer your spiritual questions.

It is one of the things that has frustrated me so much over the years about the church's response to homosexuality. All I hear when there is ranting about homosexuality is that they basically do not have an answer to this spiritual question. Therefore, they should say less and not more.

We all have deep spiritual questions that we struggle to overcome and understand. If these questions had an easy answer, the road would not be narrow and hard. So be encouraged that you are not alone in struggling to stay on the narrow road. We all are.

I have met a lot of people who are homosexual and truly pursuing Christ. One, in particular, is very proficient in his study of scripture. So I would encourage you in your study of scripture and use the church as an opportunity to sharpen your sword rather than concern yourself with what people may think of you regarding your personal struggle.

I would imagine there are many churches out there who will welcome the opportunity to study scripture with you. I would imagine that there are probably some online ways to fellowship with people who understand what you are going through as well. It might be harder to find a lot of people locally, but the internet opens up the opportunity to communicate with a group about things like this. This could be a good way to find support too.

In the end, the problem that we have in the church at times is that we all be a little controlling and we forget that it is the Spirit who heals and leads people to understanding. It is not our rebuke. It is not even our encouragement that saves. It is nothing but the blood of Jesus.

We can let go and let God help people who struggle with things that we don't always understand without trying to control them. I think we need to give people like yourself the freedom to grow in Christ, and I will be praying for you.

 

[Apologetic_Warrior]

I am kind of scared to go to church. I struggle with same-sex attraction and I know that homosexuality is sin. I do not live the lifestyle but I still struggle with lust, which the Bible calls adultery and idolatry. My biggest fear is that the people inside the church will not be very kind to me. I see so many threads of people fighting about homosexuality and most people don't understand the struggles. I know that same-sex attraction is very unnatural and it makes people uncomfortable.

You have many people who are very uncomfortable with homosexuals in the church, but then those of us who want to obey God and be Christians who struggled with the desire see all the fighting and quarreling that the church is having about homosexuality. And some people seem very unmerciful. Yeah, they are your speaking the truth about Sin but they seem very nasty about it. I don't know. It makes me not want to go to church. Not because I am afraid of hearing the truth because I already know the truth and I know what scripture says about it, but because people seem to speak the truth without love.

The question is am I wrong about that?

Say that you have a professor who is very intelligent. He is your instructor and he will be your instructor for the rest of the school year. When you do your school work, you want to know if you are doing it right or if you are getting it wrong. But every time he corrects your mistakes he makes you feel like a complete stupid. You want to know what you're doing wrong but you just hate the way that he is correcting your mistakes.

Will it be better to be homeschooled and teach yourself or to continue to be taught by this guy that makes you feel stupid every time he corrects correct your mistakes, even though you are learning from him?

That's the way it seems sometimes with Christians. They do speak the truth about Sin but sometimes they just don't seem very loving about it.

I am not going around saying they are all so judgemental. We are all judgemental in many ways. I just sometimes wish that people could be less harsh in their judgments.

I don't know. Maybe I am completely in the wrong. I don't know what advice you can give me to be perfectly honest.

I just don't want to go to church and make people uncomfortable. But I also don't want to go to church and feel condemned.

Will God still accept me if I just stay at home and worship him?

For all the instances I attended a Church, I cannot recall one time were sexuality became a topic of discussion. Maybe it depends on where a person attends. *shrug*

 

[Yeshua HaDerekh]

Yes, God will accept you. He made you, he knows you better than anybody else ever will. Don’t be so certain that same-sex lust is “unnatural”.

Don’t drive yourself crazy about being attracted to the same sex. Virtually all of us are, to some degree. Nor is it immoral to find attractive people of both sexes attractive. It is honest and natural, and God is not going to reject you for that.

Matthew 5:27-28

 

[Yeshua HaDerekh]

I am kind of scared to go to church. I struggle with same-sex attraction and I know that homosexuality is sin. I do not live the lifestyle but I still struggle with lust, which the Bible calls adultery and idolatry. My biggest fear is that the people inside the church will not be very kind to me. I see so many threads of people fighting about homosexuality and most people don't understand the struggles. I know that same-sex attraction is very unnatural and it makes people uncomfortable.

You have many people who are very uncomfortable with homosexuals in the church, but then those of us who want to obey God and be Christians who struggled with the desire see all the fighting and quarreling that the church is having about homosexuality. And some people seem very unmerciful. Yeah, they are your speaking the truth about Sin but they seem very nasty about it. I don't know. It makes me not want to go to church. Not because I am afraid of hearing the truth because I already know the truth and I know what scripture says about it, but because people seem to speak the truth without love.

The question is am I wrong about that?

They do speak the truth about Sin but sometimes they just don't seem very loving about it.

Will God still accept me if I just stay at home and worship him?

"It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners." This statement is in all 4 Gospels. You are not there to make others feel comfortable or uncomfortable, you are there to be healed. BTW, how was your relationship with your father? You can PM me if you do not want to discuss it here.

 

[Introverted1293]

God accepts His Children and He say for us to obey Him, be in regular fellowship, be a good neighbor, share His Word with others, be praying, show mercy, act justly and walk humbly with Him.

Everyone at church have they own sin and or sins they be struggling with...there
no one there who has it all together.
The only perfect, sinless person be Jesus.

Thank you

Good advice

Thank you

 

[Introverted1293]

It is up to you whether you share that information. I wouldn’t personally.

No one will think you have homosexual tendencies unless you make it an issue and I would not.

I guess you are right.

 

[Introverted1293]

Beloved, there is not a single person anywhere on the world that gets to choose his temptations.

Thank you for understanding.

 

[Introverted1293]

"It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners." This statement is in all 4 Gospels. You are not there to make others feel comfortable or uncomfortable, you are there to be healed. BTW, how was your relationship with your father? You can PM me if you do not want to discuss it here.

My relationship with my dad was not good in the beginning. But now it is good.

 

[Introverted1293]

Bless you, for your honesty. I think God is moving in the lives of many people who feel the same way that you do and I am grateful to see it. I would imagine that it will become easier and easier to find a church who would support your pursuit of Christ to answer your spiritual questions.

It is one of the things that has frustrated me so much over the years about the church's response to homosexuality. All I hear when there is ranting about homosexuality is that they basically do not have an answer to this spiritual question. Therefore, they should say less and not more.

We all have deep spiritual questions that we struggle to overcome and understand. If these questions had an easy answer, the road would not be narrow and hard. So be encouraged that you are not alone in struggling to stay on the narrow road. We all are.

I have met a lot of people who are homosexual and truly pursuing Christ. One, in particular, is very proficient in his study of scripture. So I would encourage you in your study of scripture and use the church as an opportunity to sharpen your sword rather than concern yourself with what people may think of you regarding your personal struggle.

I would imagine there are many churches out there who will welcome the opportunity to study scripture with you. I would imagine that there are probably some online ways to fellowship with people who understand what you are going through as well. It might be harder to find a lot of people locally, but the internet opens up the opportunity to communicate with a group about things like this. This could be a good way to find support too.

In the end, the problem that we have in the church at times is that we all be a little controlling and we forget that it is the Spirit who heals and leads people to understanding. It is not our rebuke. It is not even our encouragement that saves. It is nothing but the blood of Jesus.

We can let go and let God help people who struggle with things that we don't always understand without trying to control them. I think we need to give people like yourself the freedom to grow in Christ, and I will be praying for you.

Thank you very much.

 

[LoricaLady]

I am kind of scared to go to church. I struggle with same-sex attraction and I know that homosexuality is sin. I do not live the lifestyle but I still struggle with lust, which the Bible calls adultery and idolatry. My biggest fear is that the people inside the church will not be very kind to me. I see so many threads of people fighting about homosexuality and most people don't understand the struggles. I know that same-sex attraction is very unnatural and it makes people uncomfortable.

You have many people who are very uncomfortable with homosexuals in the church, but then those of us who want to obey God and be Christians who struggled with the desire see all the fighting and quarreling that the church is having about homosexuality. And some people seem very unmerciful. Yeah, they are your speaking the truth about Sin but they seem very nasty about it. I don't know. It makes me not want to go to church. Not because I am afraid of hearing the truth because I already know the truth and I know what scripture says about it, but because people seem to speak the truth without love.

The question is am I wrong about that?

Say that you have a professor who is very intelligent. He is your instructor and he will be your instructor for the rest of the school year. When you do your school work, you want to know if you are doing it right or if you are getting it wrong. But every time he corrects your mistakes he makes you feel like a complete stupid. You want to know what you're doing wrong but you just hate the way that he is correcting your mistakes.

Will it be better to be homeschooled and teach yourself or to continue to be taught by this guy that makes you feel stupid every time he corrects correct your mistakes, even though you are learning from him?

That's the way it seems sometimes with Christians. They do speak the truth about Sin but sometimes they just don't seem very loving about it.

I am not going around saying they are all so judgemental. We are all judgemental in many ways. I just sometimes wish that people could be less harsh in their judgments.

I don't know. Maybe I am completely in the wrong. I don't know what advice you can give me to be perfectly honest.

I just don't want to go to church and make people uncomfortable. But I also don't want to go to church and feel condemned.

Will God still accept me if I just stay at home and worship him?

In Churches and in schools, as in the rest of the world, there are a lot of insensitive, sometime cruel. people. That professor was not doing his job. He was supposed to be helping you, not making you feel discouraged and disheartened. Those people in Churches that you mention are not doing their job. They are supposed to make others feel welcomed and loved just as they are.

I am sorry for their unkindness to you. No, you are not wrong to want to avoid those who make you feel condemned. In fact you should evade such people, I believe. Personally, btw, I would not tell people about the homosexual feelings. On the one hand you may be hoping for support and comfort. On the other hand, revelations can leave you open to more unkindness.

 

[lismore]

I just don't want to go to church and make people uncomfortable. But I also don't want to go to church and feel condemned.

Will God still accept me if I just stay at home and worship him?

Hi Introverted. Sure God will accept you at home, but there's also a good blessing to find if you can find a good church with true believers who will treat you gently and kindly.

My advice would be to pray to the Lord for guidance in which church to attend. As the true church will encourage you on the road you have also guessed that a false church will set you back.

So as they say in Scotland 'Gang Warily'. Do gang, but gang warily.

 

[Introverted1293]

In Churches and in schools, as in the rest of the world, there are a lot of insensitive, sometime cruel. people. That professor was not doing his job. He was supposed to be helping you, not making you feel discouraged and disheartened. Those people in Churches that you mention are not doing their job. They are supposed to make others feel welcomed and loved just as they are.

I am sorry for their unkindness to you. No, you are not wrong to want to avoid those who make you feel condemned. In fact you should evade such people, I believe. Personally, btw, I would not tell people about the homosexual feelings. On the one hand you may be hoping for support and comfort. On the other hand, revelations can leave you open to more unkindness.

Yeah I know you are right. The reason why I bring it up sometimes is because it is so much a big deal in Christian circles. But I guess you're right, I don't really need to share it with other people.

 

[Introverted1293]

Hi Introverted. Sure God will accept you at home, but there's also a good blessing to find if you can find a good church with true believers who will treat you gently and kindly.

My advice would be to pray to the Lord for guidance in which church to attend. As the true church will encourage you on the road you have also guessed that a false church will set you back.

So as they say in Scotland 'Gang Warily'. Do gang, but gang warily.

Thank you very much. That is very good advice.

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[DominicBaptiste]

I am kind of scared to go to church. I struggle with same-sex attraction and I know that homosexuality is sin. I do not live the lifestyle but I still struggle with lust, which the Bible calls adultery and idolatry. My biggest fear is that the people inside the church will not be very kind to me. I see so many threads of people fighting about homosexuality and most people don't understand the struggles. I know that same-sex attraction is very unnatural and it makes people uncomfortable.

You have many people who are very uncomfortable with homosexuals in the church, but then those of us who want to obey God and be Christians who struggled with the desire see all the fighting and quarreling that the church is having about homosexuality. And some people seem very unmerciful. Yeah, they are your speaking the truth about Sin but they seem very nasty about it. I don't know. It makes me not want to go to church. Not because I am afraid of hearing the truth because I already know the truth and I know what scripture says about it, but because people seem to speak the truth without love.

The question is am I wrong about that?

Say that you have a professor who is very intelligent. He is your instructor and he will be your instructor for the rest of the school year. When you do your school work, you want to know if you are doing it right or if you are getting it wrong. But every time he corrects your mistakes he makes you feel like a complete stupid. You want to know what you're doing wrong but you just hate the way that he is correcting your mistakes.

Will it be better to be homeschooled and teach yourself or to continue to be taught by this guy that makes you feel stupid every time he corrects correct your mistakes, even though you are learning from him?

That's the way it seems sometimes with Christians. They do speak the truth about Sin but sometimes they just don't seem very loving about it.

I am not going around saying they are all so judgemental. We are all judgemental in many ways. I just sometimes wish that people could be less harsh in their judgments.

I don't know. Maybe I am completely in the wrong. I don't know what advice you can give me to be perfectly honest.

I just don't want to go to church and make people uncomfortable. But I also don't want to go to church and feel condemned.

Will God still accept me if I just stay at home and worship him?

Do you live near family? You might try a church that is where your family goes, and because they would know you better as a person, you might feel more comfortable. There are also liberal churches like United Church of Christ, but they might be almost affirming of homosexuality, which I'm not sure is what you're looking for. I'm a member of the United Methodist Church, and some of my family still go there, but I usually just go from time to time. I was last there for Ash Wednesday. You could also start your own group. Visit a friend and play a game of just open the Bible to a page and talk about it.

 

[Introverted1293]

Do you live near family? You might try a church that is where your family goes, and because they would know you better as a person, you might feel more comfortable. There are also liberal churches like United Church of Christ, but they might be almost affirming of homosexuality, which I'm not sure is what you're looking for. I'm a member of the United Methodist Church, and some of my family still go there, but I usually just go from time to time. I was last there for Ash Wednesday. You could also start your own group. Visit a friend and play a game of just open the Bible to a page and talk about it.

Very useful

Thank you