Why I fear Church

[Introverted1293]

I am kind of scared to go to church. I struggle with same-sex attraction and I know that homosexuality is sin. I do not live the lifestyle but I still struggle with lust, which the Bible calls adultery and idolatry. My biggest fear is that the people inside the church will not be very kind to me. I see so many threads of people fighting about homosexuality and most people don't understand the struggles. I know that same-sex attraction is very unnatural and it makes people uncomfortable.

You have many people who are very uncomfortable with homosexuals in the church, but then those of us who want to obey God and be Christians who struggled with the desire see all the fighting and quarreling that the church is having about homosexuality. And some people seem very unmerciful. Yeah, they are your speaking the truth about Sin but they seem very nasty about it. I don't know. It makes me not want to go to church. Not because I am afraid of hearing the truth because I already know the truth and I know what scripture says about it, but because people seem to speak the truth without love.

The question is am I wrong about that?

Say that you have a professor who is very intelligent. He is your instructor and he will be your instructor for the rest of the school year. When you do your school work, you want to know if you are doing it right or if you are getting it wrong. But every time he corrects your mistakes he makes you feel like a complete stupid. You want to know what you're doing wrong but you just hate the way that he is correcting your mistakes.

Will it be better to be homeschooled and teach yourself or to continue to be taught by this guy that makes you feel stupid every time he corrects correct your mistakes, even though you are learning from him?

That's the way it seems sometimes with Christians. They do speak the truth about Sin but sometimes they just don't seem very loving about it.

I am not going around saying they are all so judgemental. We are all judgemental in many ways. I just sometimes wish that people could be less harsh in their judgments.

I don't know. Maybe I am completely in the wrong. I don't know what advice you can give me to be perfectly honest.

I just don't want to go to church and make people uncomfortable. But I also don't want to go to church and feel condemned.

Will God still accept me if I just stay at home and worship him?

 

[Aino]

Oh man, I'm so sad to see someone struggle with an issue like this. People are so harsh to judge others who have a different lifestyle and different struggles from their own. I definitely believe the church should be a place where anyone and everyone can go to hear the gospel and to worship. But that's not the way everyone else sees it and sadly lots of churches can be really hard on homosexuals, while normal members still do a lot of things that are way worse then that without getting as much as a strange look.

My advice is try to find a church where you can worship and meet other christians, as you are. What a church says on their website might be something else then qhat they really preach every sunday, and preaching is still sonething else then the general atmosphere. Maybe go and see some potential prospects, and try to sniff around a little, listen to sermons and talk to others. Don't reveal everything first thing when you pop in, to protect yourself. Do they seem open minded and welcoming? What is their attitude toward sin in general? I hope you'll find a church you can attend with a good conscience. Having a fellowship in general is useful for a christian. Of course God loves you no matter what, but it's for your good to have somewhere to go to. God bless!

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[Take Heart]

I agree with Aino. I personally have found that worshipping God on Sunday (in the comfort of my home) online was some of the most intimate and engaging experiences I've had. Intimate in that..i was able to focus on the sermon without any distractions or fear of judgement. And engaging in that, by being more able to focus on the sermon and worship..it has helped me to really listen and just be me (freely dancing and singing out loud). I personally recommend Charles Stanley and Elevation Church (both are online). Charles Stanley is on T.V (Not sure about live online streaming but Elevation Church streams theirs live online.

On the flip side, I have also benefited by being physically there in the church. I've had people pray over me and that's something special that can't be experienced alone. Perhaps you may consider having someone pray over you through Skype if that's something you're interested in as it has more of an intimate feel to it rather than someone typing out a prayer online. Not that reading online prayers is bad or less effective. It's just a more intimate feeling I guess when you can interact with the person (in real life or through Skype or even voice chat)

But yeah, as someone who has a bit of anxiety, I can understand the fear aspect. Just have to remind yourself that everyone in the Church is a sinner including us. We're there to hear the Word and hopefully get something out of it. We're also there to focus on Him and to worship Him with our hearts.

 

[Introverted1293]

A week or so ago, I took a cab to a place. Okay, then needed to get back, so thought that I'd take a bus. Found out when it would come by. Later would switch to a second bus. Everything was going fine, got to the second bus. Saw a lady driver, so in my thoughts said..oh, a lady drives this bus. Sat down...not sure how many more got on at various stops or such, then comes a guy that greeted her as to good afternoon, lady. He goes to sit down. She starts hollering as to she is not a lady. She is a boy! I'm like, what. She was making a big deal out of what the other guy had said to her, as that it was wrong. I began to look for a place to get off. How far away am I from the area that I need? She was even telling another person that had earlier gotten on the bus that she wants that guy to know that she is a boy, not a girl. Her looks said -all girl ---that I could see! The voice of the person, clothes, hairstyle, all shouted - woman! Yikes, she keeps looking back and making remarks, while she is supposed to be watching where she is going. I thought as to should I say something as to sodomy is wrong. Maybe she is really a boy. I just wanted off of the bus, as I did not see how the driver was not a female.

Wow

That must have made you uncomfortable.

 

[Introverted1293]

Oh man, I'm so sad to see someone struggle with an issue like this. People are so harsh to judge others who have a different lifestyle and different struggles from their own. I definitely believe the church should be a place where anyone and everyone can go to hear the gospel and to worship. But that's not the way everyone else sees it and sadly lots of churches can be really hard on homosexuals, while normal members still do a lot of things that are way worse then that without getting as much as a strange look.

My advice is try to find a church where you can worship and meet other christians, as you are. What a church says on their website might be something else then qhat they really preach every sunday, and preaching is still sonething else then the general atmosphere. Maybe go and see some potential prospects, and try to sniff around a little, listen to sermons and talk to others. Don't reveal everything first thing when you pop in, to protect yourself. Do they seem open minded and welcoming? What is their attitude toward sin in general? I hope you'll find a church you can attend with a good conscience. Having a fellowship in general is useful for a christian. Of course God loves you no matter what, but it's for your good to have somewhere to go to. God bless!

Thank you for your advice. I probably should do that. I should check out all the churches.

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[Introverted1293]

Psalms 139:14

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

In the Bible, people either had sons or daughters.

Thank you

That's a good verse.

 

[cacemf]

I really don't have any advice to add, as Aino's advice was good, but I wanted to leave you a note to encourage you. All Christians, I believe, struggle with some type of sin and it's sad that you feel like you can't go to church because of the particular sin you struggle with.

I empathize with you because I am also scared to go to church. I struggle with mental illness and there is a stigma around that and I feel like I'm not "spiritual" enough to be there because I struggle. The reality is that we both probably can be used in a major way to minister to others who struggle with similar issues. I want to get to the point that instead of feeling shame around it, I feel God will use it for the good, since I'm called according to His purpose...and so are you!

When I am able to challenge the shame and thoughts that I am less than because of my struggle, I can see that most times, when people hear your story and see how you have risen above it, they see you as strong, inspiring, and with wisdom. There are always going to be people out there who judge (in church or out of church) but there are lots of people who won't judge...I think the more we use our voice and educate others, the more they can understand and the less they will judge.

I think God will accept you whether or not you go to church, but He can sure use you and your experiences to help others!

 

[Introverted1293]

I agree with Aino. I personally have found that worshipping God on Sunday (in the comfort of my home) online was some of the most intimate and engaging experiences I've had. Intimate in that..i was able to focus on the sermon without any distractions or fear of judgement. And engaging in that, by being more able to focus on the sermon and worship..it has helped me to really listen and just be me (freely dancing and singing out loud). I personally recommend Charles Stanley and Elevation Church (both are online). Charles Stanley is on T.V (Not sure about live online streaming but Elevation Church streams theirs live online.

On the flip side, I have also benefited by being physically there in the church. I've had people pray over me and that's something special that can't be experienced alone. Perhaps you may consider having someone pray over you through Skype if that's something you're interested in as it has more of an intimate feel to it rather than someone typing out a prayer online. Not that reading online prayers is bad or less effective. It's just a more intimate feeling I guess when you can interact with the person (in real life or through Skype or even voice chat)

But yeah, as someone who has a bit of anxiety, I can understand the fear aspect. Just have to remind yourself that everyone in the Church is a sinner including us. We're there to hear the Word and hopefully get something out of it. We're also there to focus on Him and to worship Him with our hearts.

Thank you very much. And that is something I need to remember.

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[Introverted1293]

I really don't have any advice to add, as Aino's advice was good, but I wanted to leave you a note to encourage you. All Christians, I believe, struggle with some type of sin and it's sad that you feel like you can't go to church because of the particular sin you struggle with.

I empathize with you because I am also scared to go to church. I struggle with mental illness and there is a stigma around that and I feel like I'm not "spiritual" enough to be there because I struggle. The reality is that we both probably can be used in a major way to minister to others who struggle with similar issues. I want to get to the point that instead of feeling shame around it, I feel God will use it for the good, since I'm called according to His purpose...and so are you!

When I am able to challenge the shame and thoughts that I am less than because of my struggle, I can see that most times, when people hear your story and see how you have risen above it, they see you as strong, inspiring, and with wisdom. There are always going to be people out there who judge (in church or out of church) but there are lots of people who won't judge...I think the more we use our voice and educate others, the more they can understand and the less they will judge.

I think God will accept you whether or not you go to church, but He can sure use you and your experiences to help others!

Thank you very much. That is something that I need to remember.

 

[Introverted1293]

People are being misled by shows and movies that promote sin. These things make certain wrong things seem as if they should be accepted. Be careful what you allow before your eyes. Don't let wrong entertainment scenes or characters influence your life.

You are right. I definitely need to do that. What I mean is I definitely need to watch what I view.

 

[Introverted1293]

I haven't been to bed yet. So I'm going to sleep now. But thank you so much for your advice everyone. And thank you so much for not making me feel like I am the worst sinner.

 

[Sabertooth]

@Introverted1293 , keep trying out different churches until you find a good fit. I would recommend seeking those that have an emphasis in healing & deliverance.

 

[deusartemlux]

I am kind of scared to go to church. I struggle with same-sex attraction and I know that homosexuality is sin. I do not live the lifestyle but I still struggle with lust, which the Bible calls adultery and idolatry. My biggest fear is that the people inside the church will not be very kind to me. I see so many threads of people fighting about homosexuality and most people don't understand the struggles. I know that same-sex attraction is very unnatural and it makes people uncomfortable.

You have many people who are very uncomfortable with homosexuals in the church, but then those of us who want to obey God and be Christians who struggled with the desire see all the fighting and quarreling that the church is having about homosexuality. And some people seem very unmerciful. Yeah, they are your speaking the truth about Sin but they seem very nasty about it. I don't know. It makes me not want to go to church. Not because I am afraid of hearing the truth because I already know the truth and I know what scripture says about it, but because people seem to speak the truth without love.

The question is am I wrong about that?

Say that you have a professor who is very intelligent. He is your instructor and he will be your instructor for the rest of the school year. When you do your school work, you want to know if you are doing it right or if you are getting it wrong. But every time he corrects your mistakes he makes you feel like a complete stupid. You want to know what you're doing wrong but you just hate the way that he is correcting your mistakes.

Will it be better to be homeschooled and teach yourself or to continue to be taught by this guy that makes you feel stupid every time he corrects correct your mistakes, even though you are learning from him?

That's the way it seems sometimes with Christians. They do speak the truth about Sin but sometimes they just don't seem very loving about it.

I am not going around saying they are all so judgemental. We are all judgemental in many ways. I just sometimes wish that people could be less harsh in their judgments.

I don't know. Maybe I am completely in the wrong. I don't know what advice you can give me to be perfectly honest.

I just don't want to go to church and make people uncomfortable. But I also don't want to go to church and feel condemned.

Will God still accept me if I just stay at home and worship him?

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." ~ Jesus, Matt 5:4

 

[deusartemlux]

That's not meant to be snarky, or short. It's a huge comfort. Remember sin is sin. There's no difference between same-sex lust and heterosexual lust. IDK why true struggles like what you describe are viewed differently when something like fifty percent of church going men are hooked on inappropriate content. Don't read too much into feeling judged because Jesus is a refuge for the contrite. His opinion and His word matters. If your His, he's got this

 

[Introverted1293]

That's not meant to be snarky, or short. It's a huge comfort. Remember sin is sin. There's no difference between same-sex lust and heterosexual lust. IDK why true struggles like what you describe are viewed differently when something like fifty percent of church going men are hooked on inappropriate content. Don't read too much into feeling judged because Jesus is a refuge for the contrite. His opinion and His word matters. If your His, he's got this

Thank you

 

[Introverted1293]

@Introverted1293 , keep trying out different churches until you find a good fit. I would recommend seeking those that have an emphasis in healing & deliverance.

I will. Thanks

 

[Kit Sigmon]

A week or so ago, I took a cab to a place. Okay, then needed to get back, so thought that I'd take a bus. Found out when it would come by. Later would switch to a second bus. Everything was going fine, got to the second bus. Saw a lady driver, so in my thoughts said..oh, a lady drives this bus. Sat down...not sure how many more got on at various stops or such, then comes a guy that greeted her as to good afternoon, lady. He goes to sit down. She starts hollering as to she is not a lady. She is a boy! I'm like, what. She was making a big deal out of what the other guy had said to her, as that it was wrong. I began to look for a place to get off. How far away am I from the area that I need? She was even telling another person that had earlier gotten on the bus that she wants that guy to know that she is a boy, not a girl. Her looks said -all girl ---that I could see! The voice of the person, clothes, hairstyle, all shouted - woman! Yikes, she keeps looking back and making remarks, while she is supposed to be watching where she is going. I thought as to should I say something as to sodomy is wrong. Maybe she is really a boy. I just wanted off of the bus, as I did not see how the driver was not a female.

Sounds like gender fluid person...they may present as a woman but say they be a dude...this can be for a short or long period of time...it's all according to how they decide to identify...sometimes a dude, sometimes a woman or other.