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Featured Is sex before premarital sex really sinful?

Discussion in 'Christian Philosophy & Ethics' started by TommySoda, Apr 14, 2018.

  1. fat wee robin

    fat wee robin Newbie

    +826
    France
    Christian
    Private
    A couple of the opposite sex who love and honour one another are 'married ' in the sense that God created them .The formal step of marriage was only needed when humanity no longer heard
    in their hearts God's natural laws . Like children we have to be disciplined and guided back to the original
    state . The more Religious you are the more likely you are to be far from 'hearing' God's laws in your heart as you need lots of guidance .
    Doing what Jesus commanded comes naturally to those who have been literally re -born in Christ .

    Prostitution is a selling of your body for money .I won't take my time to explain as I have plenty of other work to do ,but it is obvious to those who hear the Spirit of God ,not neccessary to explain to adults .

    I am finished with this thread and will answer no more questions
     
  2. fat wee robin

    fat wee robin Newbie

    +826
    France
    Christian
    Private
    The people I know who are 'married ' but not in church have had issues with the church ,and often for good reason .My next door neighbour are a wonderful example of love and good neighbourlyness ,together for many years .
    A couple with 4 children well brought up ,doing well and I thought they were 'married ,but have issues with the RCC ,so in comparison with two marriages with all the 'trimmings ', which have totallycollapsed they are a pleasure to be around .Totally faithful and balanced in their appproach to life .:clap::clap:
     
  3. TerryWoodenpic

    TerryWoodenpic Active Member

    437
    +201
    United Kingdom
    Anglican
    Widowed
    Clearly the predominant sexual behaviour in almost all societies, is at odds with what their various religions teach.

    There are no provisions in law in a majority of western countries, that supports any religious restrictions on premarital sex.

    It seems a vast majority of people are guided by national legal guidelines, rather than religious morality.

    For the laws to be as they are, has required a majority support for that legislation to be established. In a majority of cases this has been against the advice and wishes of the religious authorities...

    Which shows that Religion, in the west at least, has now lost the battle for moral authority in society.

    Most Christians would regret this, but then most Christians have been unwilling or unsuccessful in preventing this state of affairs.

    Most parents, Christian or not, accept the fact that the majority of children do, or will, engage in premarital sex.
     
  4. salt-n-light

    salt-n-light Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,470
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Celibate
    For a sec there I could have thought that James Martin wrote this post...

    And girl please! After three posts you haven't even answered my question, at all, but ok, lol. Thanks.
     
  5. Cement

    Cement Active Member

    318
    +239
    United States
    Christian
    Celibate
    I find this whole born again movement kinda dangerous since it assumes that once saved always saved mentality.
     
  6. Monk Brendan

    Monk Brendan Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,783
    United States
    Melkite Catholic
    Private
    US-Others
    I would say that you are looking for an excuse to not have to keep your zipper zipped!
     
  7. Jon Osterman

    Jon Osterman Well-Known Member

    719
    +461
    United Kingdom
    Non-Denom
    Married
    I waited until my wedding night, as did my wife. And, to be honest, I regret that we did. We built it up so much in our minds but were so inexperienced and naive that when the wedding night came, the sex was awful, frustrating, painful and unpleasant. This put us off sex for years, and the memory of it still causes me to avoid sexual intimacy. If I am honest, the only reason I have sex now is because I feel obliged to.

    I look back and wonder, if sex had not been such a big deal, not been made so much of a "scared cow" by the supposedly Christian culture we were raised in, would we have been able to enjoy sex in our marriage?

    Of course, not everyone will feel that way, and it is a very personal thing. But this is just my experience (or lack thereof).
     
  8. salt-n-light

    salt-n-light Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,470
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Celibate
    Maybe see a counselor about it?

    Between treating it like a sacred cow, and having it be preversed, I rather treat it as a sacred cow. Grass is not greener on the other side.

     
  9. faroukfarouk

    faroukfarouk Fading curmudgeon

    +16,291
    Non-Denom
    Married
    Interesting your use of the term sacred cow in this context, but I know what you mean, indeed.
     
  10. salt-n-light

    salt-n-light Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,470
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Celibate
    The "sacred cow" was in reference to how Jon was describing the way Church highlights marital sex as.
     
  11. faroukfarouk

    faroukfarouk Fading curmudgeon

    +16,291
    Non-Denom
    Married
    Yes, I followed this; it's not often used in this context, but I follow the meaning.
     
  12. AceHero

    AceHero Veteran

    +441
    Non-Denom
    Single
    US-Others
    And just because something is difficult to do, that doesn't give us an excuse to not obey God.

    Postponing sex until marriage also allows one to get better acquainted with the non-physical and non-sexual sides of his or her significant instead of rushing into something that should be saved for last.
     
  13. MercyandFaith

    MercyandFaith Newbie

    422
    +60
    Christian
    Single
    There's an elephant in the room that many Christians and churches won't address. which is that, at a certain age or point, abstinence simply becomes downright unreasonable.

    It's one thing to tell teenagers or people in their 20s to abstain; people usually got married in their late teens in the Biblical era. But when believers are in their 30s, 40s, 50s or even 60s, abstinence is simply downright ridiculous and unreasonable.

    Take the example of a Christian woman who doesn't get married until her 50s or even beyond (and yes, such women do exist - I know of one myself, personally.) Does this commandment literally mean that she should shouldn't have sex until getting married at, say, age 56? At that age, she has going through her entire child-fertility cycle without once having sex, thus preventing her from ever having biological children. It's an utter absurdity.

    Sure, some will say, "Well, she should have gotten married sooner." But that's not always possible - sometimes, God simply does not bring the right spouse/person into one's life until one is fairly old - 40s, 50s or beyond. So one is supposed to remain sexless ALL THE TIME until then?
     
  14. Mountainmanbob

    Mountainmanbob Goat Whisperer Supporter

    +10,719
    United States
    Calvinist
    Married
    US-Republican
    Understood
    But, still sin.
    M-Bob
     
  15. CodyFaith

    CodyFaith Well-Known Member Supporter

    +5,052
    Canada
    Baptist
    Single
    I'm sorry, as I really do understand the situation, but there is no elephant in the room.

    The answer is quite simply, yes.
     
  16. Mountainmanbob

    Mountainmanbob Goat Whisperer Supporter

    +10,719
    United States
    Calvinist
    Married
    US-Republican
    I wish that I could say that I was innocent of this sin back when I was single but, I can't.

    But, I know that it Grieved the Holy Spirit within me and it finally brought me to a time and place where I stopped doing it and thought much better of myself and my situation after that.

    Repentance feels so refreshing.

    M-Bob
     
  17. dayhiker

    dayhiker Mature veteran

    +5,074
    Charismatic
    In Relationship
    US-Others
    To respond to the OP .. I don't think sex before marriage is really a sin. I think its wise for young people to put off sex well into engagement because sex is so powerful that sex can overwhelm all the other things a couple needs to learn about each other. But I find couples in their 50s and older usually know how to handle sex and many of the other aspects of relationship. OK, ya, some never learn how to handle relationships,
    But really, I know couples who broke up because they didn't know what the other person was like sexually when they got marriage and I know couples that it all worked out fine. There is not magic way to do relationships and have a guarantee all will be fine.
     
  18. The-Doctor

    The-Doctor Man with a scarf

    +246
    Christian
    Married
    What's the difference?
     
  19. ace of hearts

    ace of hearts Well-Known Member

    +1,145
    United States
    Christian
    Private
    If you're willing to deal with results of sex outside of marriage, be my guest. No I don't grant permission nor give blessing for doing so.
     
  20. ace of hearts

    ace of hearts Well-Known Member

    +1,145
    United States
    Christian
    Private
    By being led by the Holy Spirit.
     
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