Just because you’re Christian doesn’t mean you’re compatible. That’s the elephant in the room.
In my experience the biggest difference is personal development and maturity. A lot of people don’t have a life. They go to work and come home. They have little to no friends. Their downtime is spent on the Internet, gaming or something along those lines. They have no projects underway. They aren’t learning anything. They aren’t challenging themselves or confronting their shortcomings. They ignore the things that hinder or sabotage their connections. They make excuses for their failures and blame the other. It’s her fault she won’t give him a chance.
When you invest in yourself it produces a different energy and spirit.
@Miles and
@sampa embody this. They always have something to talk about. Things they’re doing and exploring that spark interest and conversation. They’re not sitting in a room watching life go by complaining about their singleness. They’re too busy living.
Look at your life. What do you do on a daily basis? That’s her reality. You can’t fake action or experience. It comes out in your discourse. Filling their ears with the things you want to see, do and become doesn’t nullify the question. What are you doing now? Where are you in the process?
If your response is going to, want to, about to that isn’t enticing. You sound like a dreamer. Men take action.
Anyone who wants to marry needs to do some housekeeping. Deal with your baggage, insecurities, the things you’ve put off, and the stuff you’re too afraid to try. Give her a man worth coming home to. Someone who makes her sing his praises.
The same applies for the one you want. Weigh the qualities you’re seeking against your own. What is she getting in return? Some of you are unrealistic. You’re looking for a model or Mary Poppins and both are in demand. The competition is fierce and he isn’t twiddling his thumbs or feeling sorry for himself. He has what she wants in return. She doesn’t have to compromise or set it aside. Let that sink in your head. If that’s the goal you’ve got work to do.
Whatever your ideal find others like her. If they’re not in church or friends look online. Look at the images and videos she shares. What is she saying, doing, or interested in? While everyone differs there’s always common denominators within groups. You’re lumping women together and they’re not the same.
Christian + SAHW/SAHM
Christian + Influencer (beauty)
Christian + Adventurous (outgoing)
Christian + Traveler (travel/nomadic)
Christian + Women’s ministry (church involvement)
Christian + Homemaking (homebodies)
Christian + Fitness/Wellness (health)
Christian + Entrepreneur/WAHM (business/work at home)
Christian + Traditional/Trad (conservative values)
Christian + Progressive/Feminism (liberal values)
Christian + Tech Girls (geeks)
Christian + Interest (likeminded)
If you’ve never encountered your type research is helpful. You’ll dispel assumptions and come to grips with your desires. Reality may inspire a change of heart.
~bella