Are alot of christian men singles becuse many christian women prefer non christian husband?

[Juan777]

It will be the all and end all when your unsaved partner is dangled over the lake of fire then dropped in for eternal punishment, such is the destination of those who are not in Christ.

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? (2 Corinthians 6:15)

From that one verse you can see God's perspective on your unsaved partner- wicked, dark and Belial.

If someone wants to be saved then why can't they be saved? I think the hope is that the unsaved partner will be saved at some point of the relationship or marriage. It's not like saying it's a status that is inherited from birth and if you are in the wrong category you are just doomed.

 

[bèlla]

Just because you’re Christian doesn’t mean you’re compatible. That’s the elephant in the room.

In my experience the biggest difference is personal development and maturity. A lot of people don’t have a life. They go to work and come home. They have little to no friends. Their downtime is spent on the Internet, gaming or something along those lines. They have no projects underway. They aren’t learning anything. They aren’t challenging themselves or confronting their shortcomings. They ignore the things that hinder or sabotage their connections. They make excuses for their failures and blame the other. It’s her fault she won’t give him a chance.

When you invest in yourself it produces a different energy and spirit. @Miles and @sampa embody this. They always have something to talk about. Things they’re doing and exploring that spark interest and conversation. They’re not sitting in a room watching life go by complaining about their singleness. They’re too busy living.

Look at your life. What do you do on a daily basis? That’s her reality. You can’t fake action or experience. It comes out in your discourse. Filling their ears with the things you want to see, do and become doesn’t nullify the question. What are you doing now? Where are you in the process?

If your response is going to, want to, about to that isn’t enticing. You sound like a dreamer. Men take action.

Anyone who wants to marry needs to do some housekeeping. Deal with your baggage, insecurities, the things you’ve put off, and the stuff you’re too afraid to try. Give her a man worth coming home to. Someone who makes her sing his praises.

The same applies for the one you want. Weigh the qualities you’re seeking against your own. What is she getting in return? Some of you are unrealistic. You’re looking for a model or Mary Poppins and both are in demand. The competition is fierce and he isn’t twiddling his thumbs or feeling sorry for himself. He has what she wants in return. She doesn’t have to compromise or set it aside. Let that sink in your head. If that’s the goal you’ve got work to do.

Whatever your ideal find others like her. If they’re not in church or friends look online. Look at the images and videos she shares. What is she saying, doing, or interested in? While everyone differs there’s always common denominators within groups. You’re lumping women together and they’re not the same.

Christian + SAHW/SAHM
Christian + Influencer (beauty)
Christian + Adventurous (outgoing)
Christian + Traveler (travel/nomadic)
Christian + Women’s ministry (church involvement)
Christian + Homemaking (homebodies)
Christian + Fitness/Wellness (health)
Christian + Entrepreneur/WAHM (business/work at home)
Christian + Traditional/Trad (conservative values)
Christian + Progressive/Feminism (liberal values)
Christian + Tech Girls (geeks)
Christian + Interest (likeminded)

If you’ve never encountered your type research is helpful. You’ll dispel assumptions and come to grips with your desires. Reality may inspire a change of heart.

~bella

 

[Citanul]

From that one verse you can see God's perspective on your unsaved partner- wicked, dark and Belial.

I wasn't talking about unsaved partners. My point was that it takes more than being Christians for two people to be suitable partners for each other.

 

[bèlla]

If someone wants to be saved then why can't they be saved? I think the hope is that the unsaved partner will be saved at some point of the relationship or marriage. It's not like saying it's a status that is inherited from birth and if you are in the wrong category you are just doomed.

Most churches in America are marriage centered. That’s a difficult environment to be in if your partner is unsaved and not interested in God. People do a lot of things while dating that fall aside when they tie the knot. Now you’re married and alone in an environment full of couples. You’re living like a single in that space. Who do you turn to and talk with? The majority married partners who shared their beliefs. You have a different struggle and will feel left out.

There’s a difference between two unsaved people marrying and a back slidden or disobedient believer doing the same. Rest assured you’ll walk it out. Sixteen to thirty years is the norm. It doesn’t happen overnight. Your willingness to marry them isn’t an incentive. It demonstrates your ability to compromise in deference to self. No amount of arguments or lectures will move her. She’s got you and you’re stuck.

I’ve never met a happy Christian in this situation. While they love their spouse the reality of being unequally yoked is painful. Many bury themselves in ministry. Serving excessively to dull the ache. None would advise another to follow suit. And that’s telling.

~bella

 

[sampa]

When you invest in yourself it produces a different energy and spirit. @Miles and @sampa embody this.

Aww, thanks @bèlla . I take that as a compliment. There was a period though that it was like that where I just went to work and went home. Part of it was I had a 30 mile commute, long day outdoors working on the roads and immature workplace where they made life difficult. I also had safety concerns with too many guys that I worked with being invasive in my life. You might say some of it was harassment.. with the fatigue and emotions I felt a lot of loneliness, and it gave opportunity for some bad characters.

At 35 years old I finally started picking up the pieces and saying I was going to do something about the desire for a relationship. I started exploring interest in film by going to different universities east and west of me for independent film and foreign. Started eating at restaurants by myself and cafes with my laptop. Became connected with some surfers at a surf luau. Started going to a singles ministry that was 30 miles from me. Visited a ton of church churches and talk to 30 pastors on the phone searching out the spiritual environment and questions that I had, because the church look different to me than it had before I left for Japan.
About results, I did get some dates both Christian and not. In church, a film producer, friends started connecting me. I also felt freedom to have some kind of life outside the workplace. Some kind of identity then what the workplace was putting on me. Something to talk about. I also found a church community. Found some answers and also had joined this Christian forms as part of the spiritual search.

Unfortunately my health got in the way when the workplace became what my biological father called Babylon for 2 years. That reshifted my focus of getting myself healthy and no longer could I allow outside relationships. But I was no longer focused on my singleness. I was also in a better place to accept rejection. And my relationship with the Lord was much stronger. So I sympathize with some of those that are between that 30 and 35 age, as I remember it also, but in action will not produce fruit.

If your response is going to, want to, about to that isn’t enticing. You sound like a dreamer

This stirred in me the things I was told as a child about being a dreamer. It was used in a negative sense. We definitely can have great dreams, but it doesn't happen without some work. I can think of many fine men and women in history that had a dream, which one might call a vision, and they pursued it.

Some of my dreams were unrealistic when I was a kid, but the important thing is I had different visions of where I wanted to go, and living in Japan was not one of them but it did surprise all those that had known me for my younger years. Just a few days ago I got an email from a co-worker who's in another department at a higher level, she said she thinks I'm really awesome. This was to follow up with veteran's Day. When I think her, she followed up with another email saying she really truly thought I was. That meant a lot.

Although I have not been successful in the endeavor of of relationship and marriage, I think I am not alone. The Lord never promised that there would not be trouble. As long as we are in this world, there will be trouble. How do we approach that trouble?

I see married couples but have issues. I see married couples that struggle with their children. I see married couples with loss/death. I see married couples that live separate lives in the church. I see married couples wear one is the caretaker as the other helplessly complains. I see couples or one has aged much further than the other and doesn't take care of themself while the other does. I see married couples that after 25 years they go through rough patches. I see couples that had no identity when they first married and they change and don't grow together. I have seen rough patches in both sets of parents that I grew up with after 25 years. I see married men that never resolved the eye that wanders. It can be said the same for married women, that seek their comfort elsewhere.

Anyways there is a point to all of this, I do believe it takes some rolling up of the sleeves and figuring out where our strengths are. Lots of prayer. I had tons of fasting coupled with prayer. Fellowship was very important. I'm sure you know all of these things @bèlla We all are a work in progress. Thanks @bella for the beautiful wisdom you bestow here and elsewhere. I hope a few will implement some of the ideas the community here has given

 

[bèlla]

There was a period though that it was like that where I just went to work and went home.

That’s true for many. It takes an honest person to acknowledge the emptiness and their coping mechanisms. If you’re not careful your twenties become your thirties and forty’s on the horizon and you’re still doing the same thing.

At 35 years old I finally started picking up the pieces and saying I was going to do something about the desire for a relationship. I started exploring interest in film by going to different universities east and west of me for independent film and foreign. Started eating at restaurants by myself and cafes with my laptop. Became connected with some surfers at a surf luau. Started going to a singles ministry that was 30 miles from me. Visited a ton of church churches and talk to 30 pastors on the phone searching out the spiritual environment and questions that I had, because the church look different to me than it had before I left for Japan.

I did the same. I didn’t wait for someone to take me to the movies, dinner or a gallery. I went on my own and joined organizations and groups with likeminded people. It broadened my horizons and was an integral part of the life I created afterwards.

Unfortunately my health got in the way when the workplace became what my biological father called Babylon for 2 years. That reshifted my focus of getting myself healthy and no longer could I allow outside relationships. But I was no longer focused on my singleness. I was also in a better place to accept rejection. And my relationship with the Lord was much stronger. So I sympathize with some of those that are between that 30 and 35 age, as I remember it also, but in action will not produce fruit.

I dated during that period. They felt sorry for me and pitied me. But I didn’t like it. I knew it was a slippery sle and if I fell in that hole crawling out would be hard. I started reading self-help books. I think Covey was the first. It struck a nerve and I devoured them. They strengthened my mind, renewed my spirit and gave me hope.

That’s when the grit came out. I had enough and went rogue. I stopped taking the pills, got rid of the specialists, and treated the problem through behavioral medicine and pain. It hurt to sit up and walk. But it didn’t matter. I was done with the bed and wanted my life back. A year later I returned to work.

I refused to be helpless, pitied or weak. That’s not who I am. I’m strong and I knew it. I wouldn’t accept that fate and it still holds true.

This stirred in me the things I was told as a child about being a dreamer. It was used in a negative sense. We definitely can have great dreams, but it doesn't happen without some work. I can think of many fine men and women in history that had a dream, which one might call a vision, and they pursued it.

There’s nothing wrong with dreams but we have to quantify them. Is it doable or not? Are we willing to make the sacrifices or no? What’s our limit? We need to know that to apply our energy in the areas that will yield the greatest fruit. Some things must be put on the back burner or require skills, connections, or doors that haven’t opened.

Self-awareness is a must. There’s things we’re unwilling to do and pretending doesn’t change that. When we’re honest with ourselves we don’t waste our time on silly pursuits. Or convince ourselves we can make something work that compromises us irreparably.

Although I have not been successful in the endeavor of of relationship and marriage, I think I am not alone. The Lord never promised that there would not be trouble. As long as we are in this world, there will be trouble. How do we approach that trouble?

I believe all things are possible with God and I play the game. I accept nothing as gospel save the word. My belief in Him doesn’t set aside the necessity for wisdom and shrewdness. I’m still in the world and I study my enemy. I don’t rely on pastors and books to tell me about him. I watch what he does and pay attention to the strategies he uses against me. Especially the ones that work. It’s usually the same play from different angles.

I don’t depend on others for nourishment. I feed myself. Whatever they provide is a bonus. No one tells you everything. Not even me. When you put in the work, add in the word and instruction, plus a dollop of sage advice you’re in a better place. But you can’t do that until you recognize the limitations of being spoon fed.

I see married couples but have issues. I see married couples that struggle with their children. I see married couples with loss/death. I see married couples that live separate lives in the church.

No pairing is perfect and the majority were founded on emotion. The things that make or break relationships are often ignored and come back to haunt them. What can you handle without hitting the door or contemplating it? Your answer will differ from others but don’t ignore it. You’ll hear its not so bad or not a big deal. But they’re not living with it you are. Always be true to yourself.

I'm sure you know all of these things @bèlla We all are a work in progress. Thanks @bella for the beautiful wisdom you bestow here and elsewhere. I hope a few will implement some of the ideas the community here has given

Thank you sweets.

We’re a work in progress and play an internal part in the outcome. The things we desire won’t fall in our lap. We have to be willing to grab them. And if we aren’t be honest. Don’t spend your life chasing rainbows. Let it go and find something else.

~bella

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Just to weigh-in this discussion. My parents would be what you would say is a mixed-marriage, where my mom's family, and a church told them not to get married. They eloped and got married together. This was back in 1974.

Right...I mean, there was no reason for them not to get married, and not to continue the marriage. Their compatibly was obvious and outweighed the mixed situation.

 

[sampa]

did the same. I didn’t wait for someone to take me to the movies, dinner or a gallery. I went on my own and joined organizations and groups with likeminded people

It's an amazing feeling that very few partake in. I have a connection because of it with a guy that has been famous for his Mediterranean restaurants that have branched out and become successful. You just never know who you will meet once you get yourself out there and take a chance.

That’s when the grit came out. I had enough and went rogue. I stopped taking the pills, got rid of the specialists, and treated the problem through behavioral medicine and pain. It hurt to sit up and walk.

I'm so glad that you were able to do this. Very few do and just stay in their pain and accept that as a lifestyle. I was fortunate to start out with a naturopathic doctor two years before I ended up in. She was teaching me ways to live a better life that I have implemented in the years following.
It's not an easy task. Even just the process of waiting yourself from pills. Getting myself just off of steroids was very difficult but I was persistent and had a vision of trying to get everything to remission. What doctors told me was impossible.

But it didn’t matter. I was done with the bed and wanted my life back. A year later I returned to work.

I'm so glad that you were able to get back to work.

I refused to be helpless, pitied or weak. That’s not who I am. I’m strong and I knew i

Yes, you are strong. Same here, it was so weird to me in a state of weakness. Taking care of my appearance and the investment in the wigs did pay off in how others perceived me. I know someday if I reach 90 I will definitely not look like the same strong person. It's awful how much of a superficial world we live in. When I was going through treatment, I learned to dress a little bit more professionally and less casual as I had before. The doctors took me a lot more serious when I wore blazers to appointments. And of course my perfect hair from the wigs.

it doable or not? Are we willing to make the sacrifices or no? What’s our limit? We need to know that to apply our energy in the areas that will yield the greatest fruit. Some things must be put on the back burner or require skills, connections, or doors that haven’t opened.

Agreed! It is a balance thing.

The things we desire won’t fall in our lap. We have to be willing to grab them. And if we aren’t be honest. Don’t spend your life chasing rainbows. Let it go and find something else.

Very true!

 

[Juan777]

Right...I mean, there was no reason for them not to get married, and not to continue the marriage. Their compatibly was obvious and outweighed the mixed situation.

They had their issues and he was not behaving right (ie including an affair where he took a stripper to Miami behind my mother's back, or bought a bunch of things from a local church to impress my mother that he had changed and paid for it with a cheque that bounced, effectively stealing the items and showing no respect for the church, taking money behind my mother's back to pay for vices like massage parlours, etc... you get the idea. My mother, if she were not a born-again Christian, sold out to Jesus, would have all right, and likely would have left him and divorced him. However she stood with him through thick and thin, and is rewarded by a lovely husband who would go out of his way to help and please her. Now I'm controlling all of the finances though banking apps, I have total control over my dad's whearabouts as I set up the smartphone system for the family and can trace what everybody is doing, and I own the only car that's in the house so I have allot of authority over my dad to make sure he stays in line today.

He has been wonderful with us as of late and its hard to imagine that he would end up in hell. My mother and I have forgiven my dad and have moved on and really do hope that he is saved. He has said the sinner's prayer many times (usually when its Joel Olsteen leading it), but then says or does things that sound so off (ie like saying my mother is brainwashed or feeling irritated whenever there is preaching going on (ie like "it's that thing again", or does not take any initiative to open the bible or pray without being lead into it by my mother or myself) that it leaves doubts as to whether he has any revelation of Jesus or not, or if he's just got so old right now and is in such a poor state that his youthful vices are just dumbed down, (but if he won a lottery and had $ 10M in his account -- would he still be like this, given his past?). Things like this baffle me and undermine my own faith, because both my mom and I pray for him and we all worship together as a family and even go to church together, but we are never sure or feel he's really saved and it's not a nice thing.

 

[lismore]

If someone wants to be saved then why can't they be saved? I think the hope is that the unsaved partner will be saved at some point of the relationship or marriage. It's not like saying it's a status that is inherited from birth and if you are in the wrong category you are just doomed.

Hello Juan! Jesus talked of a small gate and a narrow path to life and only a few would find it (Matthew 7:13-14). Therefore marrying an unbeliever in hopes they will one day turn to Christ is perhaps deluded except perhaps in a tiny minority of cases. And beginning on a different foundation, superficially in unimportant things a believer and unbeliever might seem compatible, but go deep and you'll find the difference. But Jesus also talked of sheep and goats, and also wolves in sheep's clothing, not all who claim to be sheep actually are. God Bless You

 

[lismore]

I wasn't talking about unsaved partners. My point was that it takes more than being Christians for two people to be suitable partners for each other.

Perhaps But those who are born again seek born again partners. God Bless
P.S I'm glad Adam and Eve found themselves to be suitable partners, otherwise.......

 

[lismore]

A lot of people don’t have a life. They go to work and come home.

If someone is working full-time in a stressful job and serving/ leading in the church (this could involve being at 5-6 more weekly meetings in the church, more in areas with heavy legal liability) they may not have time/energy for much else, other activities.

Jesus said that serving him would involve friendlessness and loneliness from the world 'All men will hate you because of me' (Matthew 10:22) and also sacrifice. Believers are commanded to bear one another's burdens. If someone is detected in the church who is alone then the duty of the body is to care for them. If you are detecting people who are alone and 'have no life' then perhaps the Lord is calling you to sacrificially minister to them. Jesus went to the cross for us and said whatever we did for the least of these we did for him (Matthew 25:40). Befriending someone can help them and also bless you. God Bless

 

[Juan777]

Sacrifice is diametrically opposed to entitlement, and most of what western culture is about. Almost sounds like Chinese even in these parts. Very good posts Lismore. At least people will think with your contributions to this discussion.

 

[bèlla]

If someone is working full-time in a stressful job and serving/ leading in the church (this could involve being at 5-6 more weekly meetings in the church, more in areas with heavy legal liability) they may not have time/energy for much else, other activities.

I worked 80+ hour weeks in high finance, had an active social life, volunteered and raised a child. That was my reality for years until I came home in my thirties. It didn’t prevent me from dating or building friendships. It’s a question of priorities. When I wanted to meet likeminded people I joined social service organizations and private groups within the arts community. Where there’s a will there’s a way when you’re determined.

Believers are commanded to bear one another's burdens. If someone is detected in the church who is alone then the duty of the body is to care for them. If you are detecting people who are alone and 'have no life' then perhaps the Lord is calling you to sacrificially minister to them.

I’m doing it now and stand by my words.

~bella

 

[lismore]

I worked 80+ hour weeks in high finance, had an active social life, volunteered and raised a child. That was my reality for years until I came home in my thirties. It didn’t prevent me from dating or building friendships. It’s a question of priorities.

It can be, not always. There might be many reasons why someone is socially isolated- mental health (both diagnosed and undiagnosed), anxiety, past maltreatment by others, persecuted because of belief. Some people are stronger than others, some have had their spirits crushed and only sacrificial love and care can bring them back, some can't fit in anywhere socially without determined help from others. The isolated person is still a human being made in the image of God, befriending can lead someone to see things in them you didn't see before. Everyone is unique. Social Darwinism can permeate thinking including 'dating' but it's not God's way.

Jesus said 'By this will all men know that you are my disciples if you love one another' John 13:35.

Loving the lonely and the isolated, part of our walk as disciples of Christ.

As you've worked long hours and been in Leadership Roles in Christian Ministry you'll also know how tiring and lonely that combination can often be. In defence of them, those who put their heads above the parapet in Christian Ministry can face opposition from all sides, many in Christian leadership describe it as a lonely experience. Many Christian leaders are serving sacrificially and may not have time or the inclination for secular socialisation, if believers don't support them who then will they socialise with?

When I wanted to meet likeminded people I joined social service organizations and private groups within the arts community. Where there’s a will there’s a way when you’re determined.

Not always. I knew a lady years ago who had come to faith in Christ from another religion and gone into hiding, she had been ostracised by her family and had been persecuted for her faith by having scalding water poured over her legs. Everyone she knew from her past life had disowned her. She could face death for her faith if found. She wouldn't be going to clubs anytime soon. We don't know what it is like to have walked in someone else's shoes, there are many people in our neighbourhoods and churches who have had a far harder life than we can possibly imagine.

Compassion and mercy- Luke14:12-14 Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you now, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

God Bless

 

[linux.poet]

It will be the all and end all when your unsaved partner is dangled over the lake of fire then dropped in for eternal punishment, such is the destination of those who are not in Christ.

16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

17 Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this way let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches.

According to David Wood "If the person you want to marry isn't a Christian yet, don't give up." I would try to evangelize them - just make sure they accept the Gospel BEFORE you marry them!

But if you've been walking with the Lord for years, even if the person were to become a new believer tomorrow, the marriage would be really tough because of the difference in spiritual maturity levels. You've taken on a tough task of spiritual discipleship along with the usual marriage challenges. But if they are perfect in every other way, why not give them your personal testimony and try giving evangelism a shot? One more person for the kingdom of heaven is totally worth it anyway.

 

[lismore]

According to David Wood "If the person you want to marry isn't a Christian yet, don't give up." I would try to evangelize them - just make sure they accept the Gospel BEFORE you marry them!

But if you've been walking with the Lord for years, even if the person were to become a new believer tomorrow, the marriage would be really tough because of the difference in spiritual maturity levels. You've taken on a tough task of spiritual discipleship along with the usual marriage challenges. But if they are perfect in every other way, why not give them your personal testimony and try giving evangelism a shot? One more person for the kingdom of heaven is totally worth it anyway.

Interesting post, thanks for replying. I'm not saying you or David Wood are necessarily wrong, but it doesn't seem to be the Biblical way? God Bless

 

[lismore]

I cant be the only one who noticed that many christian women are married to atheist and muslim men. Meanwhile many christian men are singles.

Who will the christian single males marry when the christian women are already taken by atheist and muslim men? Becuse non-christian women are for sure not intrested in marry a christian guy.

In 99 % cases, the children innherent their fathers beliefs. This is a problem. Christianity dies out this way.

God wants christians to be married to eachother, so not sure what is going on.

Interesting question. I knew one lady who converted from Charismatic Christianity to Islam to get married. Faith Matters survey, referenced below, suggests 100,000 English people have converted to Islam, many believed to be 'Christian' background women to get married.

Record numbers convert to Islam in UK

The number of Britons converting to Islam has nearly doubled in the past decade, despite the fact that the UK has witnessed a rise in Islamophobia over the same period, according to a comprehensive study by inter-faith think tank Faith matters.

www.deccanherald.com

I would reckon the number seeking liaisons with other non-believers is also significant.

Why is there even a desire for 'Christians' to be yoked in any way to those outside the faith? As the Lord sadly says 'What fault did they find in me that they strayed so far from me? (Jeremiah 2:5).

Perhaps that's the answer then, they were always outside the faith and now are just making it public. 'Birds of a feather flock together' the old saying goes but also the saying 'If you fly with the crows you get shot with them'.

What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? (Matthew 16:26). God Bless

 

[Hope Mikaelson]

I think a lot of Christian men are single because they put sex on a pedestal

 

[bèlla]

As you've worked long hours and been in Leadership Roles in Christian Ministry you'll also know how tiring and lonely that combination can often be.

That wasn’t my experience nor have I ever felt way. I had a high profile job in a demanding industry that catered to overachievers. I came home and built the same and my work is satisfying. There’s no correlation in what I do and loneliness or isolation. I’m in my element.

And I’ve never worked for the church.

Many Christian leaders are serving sacrificially and may not have time or the inclination for secular socialisation, if believers don't support them who then will they socialise with?

The people I’m addressing aren’t in full-time ministry. They’re in the marketplace.

Not always. I knew a lady years ago who had come to faith in Christ from another religion and gone into hiding, she had been ostracised by her family and had been persecuted for her faith by having scalding water poured over her legs. Everyone she knew from her past life had disowned her. She could face death for her faith if found. She wouldn't be going to clubs anytime soon. We don't know what it is like to have walked in someone else's shoes, there are many people in our neighbourhoods and churches who have had a far harder life than we can possibly imagine.

Why don’t you speak to that? If your experience differs by all means share it. We all have different perspectives. But don’t expect me to sound like you. It’s impossible.

~bella