2 Corinthians 13:

14 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion [G2842] of the Holy Spirit be with you all.

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HELPS Word-studies:

2842 koinōnía (a feminine noun) – properly, what is shared in common as the basis of fellowship (partnership, community).

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The same Greek word is in (NIV) Philippians 2:

1Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.

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Aramaic Bible in Plain English:

If you have, therefore, comfort in The Messiah, or the filling up of hearts with love, or communion of The Spirit, or tender care and mercy, 2 Fulfill my joy, that you would have one conscience, one love, one soul and one mind;

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I think communion of the Holy Spirit refers to the indwelling Holy Spirit in our spirit to accomplish oneness with God.

Leviticus 19:

28 “’Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.

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Does it apply to Christians today?

There is no NT command against it. I think it is a freedom we have. If you are thinking of having one, consider

1. Size: I think smaller is better than bigger.
2. Content: Would your Christian circle of friends be offended by it?
3. Taste: You don't want an obnoxious or offensive image on the body.
4. Once it is done, it is not easy to get rid of it. When you are 70 years old, will you still like your tattoos?

I would not have one on me myself. I'd advise my kids and friends against having one. It is up to them to decide.

See also Tattoos and piercings are more common among those who experienced childhood abuse and neglect.

Weigh all these factors and decide for yourself.

"If we say, “We have no sin,” we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
If we say, “We have not sinned,” we make him a liar, and his word is not in us."
(1 John 1:8, 10)

One is about "having sin" and one is about "committing sin." In either case, the conclusion is the same.

Sin is in us. It is not only something we do.

I’m sure we won’t know until we get to heaven how much the prayers on this forum, and our prayers in general, have helped others and us.

But here are just a couple of examples for me personally.

Some here on the prayer wall may remember that, for some weird reasons, though i filed my IRS taxes on time with Turbo Tax and owed nothing, and even had a refund coming, I didn’t get my refund. They ignored my inquiries during that time. But this week they did finally sent the money!

At the same time, again, weirdly, my state sent me a letter, saying that I had not paid my taxes, and that interest was owed! But I had paid them and on time, filing on time through Turbo Tax. They, too, dillydallied. They too ignored my written inquiry, in fact, after I explained to them, with details, that I had paid my taxes, they sent me two more letters, which basically were saying pay up!

In both case when facing the IRS and the state, what power did I have to change anything? I felt all I had was my own prayers and the prayers of others.

But I finally got ahold of someone who said that I had a zero balance, and that a letter to that effect was on the way.

The second issue was about my sister. She has had a history of very verbally abusive behavior, so that no one in the family has really wanted contact with her, except me. And I had gotten so I didn’t want any contact with her either.

I do love my sister, and prayed here on this forum and elsewhere for things to turn out right. For a few years things only got worse, and there was no contact for months.

But recently, she has been acting like a real sister, and we have had some great interactions. Please pray for that to continue.

Blessings to all, and in particular for those who make this forum possible.

5 minutes for China

Please click on the links to pray for China

Hmong Dou

Hmong Dou in China

Hmong Leng

Hmong Leng in China

Hmong Njua

Hmong Njua in China

Left-wing Cardinal Blase Cupich is set to appear at a scandalous ecumenical event in Chicago this week. The conference is coordinated by a Wiccan priestess and features more than 6,000 representatives of various forms of pagan and non-Catholic sects.

The 2023 Parliament of the World’s Religions is being held at McCormack Place convention center from Tuesday, August 14 until Friday, August 18. Its theme is “A Call to Conscience: Defending Freedom and Human Rights.”

Cupich will appear on a “luminary” panel alongside Presbyterian minister Jennifer Butler and Rashad Hussain, who serves in President Joe Biden’s State Department and who previously worked in the Obama administration.

United Nations Secretary General António Guterres as well as dissident Catholic Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi are also scheduled to address the conference.

The event’s first meeting was held in 1893, also in Chicago. Cardinal John Gibbons of Baltimore controversially attended that gathering along with several other liberal U.S. clergy who later came to be associated with what then-Pope Leo XIII called “the heresy of Americanism.”

In 1895, two years after conservatives voiced their opposition to the meeting, Leo condemned the conference and forbade Catholics from attending future ones out of fear it would give the impression the Church viewed other religions to be true or good in themselves.

Continued below.

Disclaimer: In this thread, I am not arguing whether or not the Father draws everyone. I am arguing about the logical usage of the word "unless". For the former, see No one is able to come unto me, if the Father who sent me MAY NOT DRAW him.

John 6:

44 No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him.

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Let's try to translate the above to the first-order logic language. The trouble is that there is more than one way to express the English concept of unless. The word carries two senses.

1. the weak sense:

2. the strong sense:

John 6:

44 No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day.

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Jesus raises him up on the last day iff the Father draws him.

40 For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.”

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He has eternal life iff the Father draws him.

There exists a person who does not have eternal life.

Therefore, the Father does not draw him.

According to this interpretation of the word "unless", the Father does not draw everyone. In either case, John 12:

32 And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.”

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By the Cross, Jesus does draw all people to himself.



===========================================================================

Sometimes the context tells us which sense is being used. Let's apply these two senses on 2 Timothy 2:

5 An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules.

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1. If he does not compete according to the rules, he is not crowned.
Method 1 is a valid interpretation.

2. He does not compete according to the rules if and only if he is not crowned.
⇒ If he is not crowned, then he does not compete according to the rules.
⇒ If he competes according to the rules, then he is crowned.

Method 2 implies that competing according to the rules is a sufficient condition for crowning. This is not true. Method 2 is not a valid interpretation of 2 Timothy 2:5.

Philippians 3:17-21 ESV


Imitating the Life of Paul

Now, according to what I hear many proclaim today, the apostle Paul was someone who was “struggling” in sin, and was someone who regularly gave into sin, for they misinterpret his words in Romans 7 because they don’t read them in the context of Romans 6 and Romans 8. For there he said that if sin is what we practice or what we obey, and if we walk according to the flesh and not according to the Spirit, that we will die in our sins. And he said that the righteous requirement of the law is fulfilled in us who walk (in conduct, in practice) according to the Spirit and not according to the flesh.

So, why do they misinterpret Paul’s words, in truth? Many do so because they are being led to do so by their leaders and because they are still walking in sin, and so it gives them an excuse to keep walking in sin without guilt. But if Paul was truly someone “struggling” with sin, i.e. who was regularly giving in to sin, how in the world could he possibly with a good conscience teach what he taught to others? And how could he in good conscience tell us to join in imitating him? He would have to be the biggest hypocrite of all. But he wasn’t!

Paul, in Romans 7, did give us a picture of what his life was like before he was transformed in heart and mind of the Spirit of God, but then he immediately followed that by telling us that Jesus Christ delivered him from that body of death. And in chapter 8 he said, “For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.”

So, if you are going to imitate the life of Paul, read Acts through Philemon. Some people believe Paul also wrote Hebrews. And read all of what Paul wrote and all of what he said about his own life, and you will see that he was not a man of the flesh who gave in to the flesh on a regular basis, but he was a man of God whose life was fully surrendered to God and who did the will of God regardless of what it cost him, and it cost him plenty! For he endured all sorts of beatings and imprisonments and false accusations against his character for the sake of Jesus and for the gospel of Christ.

See: Was Paul a Hypocrite? II

Enemies of Christ

And who are those who walk as enemies of the cross of Christ? They are those who are still walking according to the flesh and in sin, for whom sin is still their practice, their habit, and for whom righteousness and godly living is not their habit, their practice. So they can fully be many people who profess faith in Jesus Christ and who believe all their sins are forgiven and that heaven is their eternal destiny. And they can easily be pastors and elders of church congregations (or of what is falsely being called “church”).

So, how do you know if you are someone who practices sin? For one, you desire sin above God and above obedience to the Lord, and so you choose your sin over God on an addictive basis. For your mind is set on earthly things, not on things above (see Romans 8). And to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. So, you lust after the desires of the flesh, and you don’t thirst for righteousness and holy living. For your heart is still evil and so it produces evil, for your heart has not truly been transformed of the Holy Spirit of God.

And even though you know right from wrong, you continue to deliberately and habitually do wrong and not right. You continue to deliberately, habitually, and even premeditatedly not only sin against God but against other humans, even those closest to you, for sin is what you crave. It has a hold on your life. And you repeat the same sins over and over, and on and on, and you make excuses for your sin, and you lie to cover up your sin, and so you also sin in your lies. And you try to justify the wrong that you do even to those who you habitually sin against, so without compassion at all.

But does this mean we will never sin? No! We might still sin on occasion, but sin should not be what we crave, what we hunger after, what we long for above God and even over our relationships with other humans, even over our spouses. It shouldn’t be what we dream about. We should not be those who plot out sin on our beds and who devise evil. We should not be those who regularly give in to committing adultery, who are sexually immoral, who are liars, thieves, gossipers, and those who envy and hate others, etc. But we should be those who practice righteousness and obedience to our Lord.

[Matt 7:21-23; Matt 24:9-14; Lu 9:23-26; Rom 1:18-32; Rom 2:6-8; Rom 6:1-23; Rom 8:1-14,24; Rom 12:1-2; Rom 13:11; 1 Co 6:9-10,19-20; 2 Co 5:10,15,21; 1 Co 1:18; 1 Co 15:1-2; 2 Tim 1:8-9; Heb 9:28; 1 Pet 1:5; Gal 5:16-21; Gal 6:7-8; Eph 2:8-10; Eph 4:17-32; Eph 5:3-6; Col 1:21-23; Col 3:5-17; 1 Pet 2:24; Tit 2:11-14; 1 Jn 1:5-9; 1 Jn 2:3-6,24-25; 1 Jn 3:4-10; Heb 3:6,14-15; Heb 10:23-31; Heb 12:1-2; Rev 21:8,27; Rev 22:14-15]

My Sheep

An Original Work / June 24, 2012
Based off John 10:1-18 NIV

My sheep hear me. They know me.
They listen to my voice and obey.
I call them and lead them.
They know my voice, so they follow me.
They will never follow strangers.
They will run away from them.
The voice of a stranger they know not;
They do not follow him.

So, I tell you the truth that
I am the gate, so you enter in.
Whoever does enter
Will find forgiveness and will be saved.
Nonetheless whoever enters
Not by the gate; other way,
He is the thief and a robber.
Listen not, the sheep to him.

Oh, I am the Good Shepherd,
Who laid his own life down for the sheep.
I know them. They know me.
They will live with me eternally.
The thief only comes to steal and
Kill and to destroy the church.
I have come to give you life that
You may have it to the full…

They know my voice, so they follow me.

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May Jimmy and Rosalynn have a few more years.

Federal Officials Blow the Whistle on Biden's Plan for New COVID Lockdowns​

(8/18/23)

Whistleblowers from the TSA and Border Patrol have raised the alarm to Infowars that the Biden administration is setting the stage for full Covid lockdowns that will begin with incremental restrictions like masking TSA employees in mid-September.

The first source, a high-level TSA official confirmed and known to Infowars, reached out to Infowars and cited a Tuesday meeting (8/15) in which TSA managers were told new memorandums & policies were being completed that would reimplement masking, starting with TSA & airport employees as early as mid-September.

The TSA official also said next week they will receive new guidelines on how the policy will escalate: by mid-October, mask-wearing will be required by pilots, flight staff, passengers, and airport patrons.

After hearing from the TSA manager, Infowars reached out to our trusted Border Patrol source who is also a manager. This source confirmed the same directives were being given to Border Patrol.

They were told it was not a matter of “if” but “when” official Covid numbers will go back up and they expect by mid-October a return to forced-masking policies that the Biden administration previously only reluctantly ended after massive pressure.

Both whistleblowers were told this rollout will be in tandem with the new Covid “variant” hysteria that the MSM has been reporting on this week.

Timeline
As early as Mid-September - Begin Incremental Rollout of Covid Protocols (TSA, Border Patrol, and Airport employees required to wear masks)
By Mid-October - Everyone flying must wear masks
Sometime in December - A Return to the Full Covid Protocol of 2020/2021

More here ...

My youngest son is going into senior year of high-school, and is looking at colleges and universities for next year. He has good grades and should be able to get into 80% of the schools out there.

But while I am Christian, and my wife is a devout Christian who is heavily involved with our church (EFCA), my son is ambivalent about God and religion. It is the only "rebellious" thing about him I suppose. Teenagers see what their parents do and resolve to do the opposite. I don't press him on this, as I believe he needs to come to God on his own (I think he will ultimately)

The problem is, he is very reluctant to attend a Christian college, while I like the idea quite a bit. I will be paying for his education (no loans)

so while I think places like Cedarville University or Hope College would be great --or maybe Wheaton College, he would prefer a secular liberal-arts school, or maybe a state school. We have visited a bunch of places, and even some of the Catholic schools have gone off-the-rails politically, spiritually, and ideologically. Its bad when you see a banner over the admissions office that says "Trans Rights are Human Rights"

so I am not sure what to do. Should I insist he attends a school the aligns with the religious and cultural values of the family, or allow him to go his own way? Part of me says "let him go where he wants and find his own way, even if he is exposed to things I don't like", and the other part of me says "I am the one paying the bills, and am the one responsible for his moral and religious education--it is irresponsible for me to not give him guidance"

any advice would be great

Upon whom is the Wine of Yah’s Wrath Poured out upon? Who are they that Drink of it? and what other alternative is there, (if any)?

I think so, 1 Corinthians 7:

1Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

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A husband and his wife should yield to each other and do things for each other and not be selfish.

Many say that the GREAT COMMISSION so called , in Matt 28:19 is for all BELIEVERS ,

#1 So when is this GREAT COMMISSION TO BEGIN ? And some say it is already in operation ?

#2 Who are these people that will carry this GREAT COMMISSION forward .

#3 I wonder if any one has seen it in operation , YET ?

#4 All should TEACH / MATHETUO and what are they to TEACH , pray tell ? That Jesus is coming for them and to REPENT .

#5 And they are to teach all NATIONS / ETHNOS ,

#6 You are to BAPTIZE / BAPTIZO , in the PRESENT TENSE , ACTIVE VOICE , PARTICIPLE , NOMINATIVE CASE , and PLURAL .

#7 BUT verse 16 Christ is speaking to the 11 disciples , NOT TO THE BODY OF CHRIST as the B O C has NOT yet been formed .

#8 The Greek word NATION / ETHNOS is also found in John 11:48 , and they want to be rid of Him and the Romans shall come and take away both our place and NATION / ETHNOS , so what does NATION means then ?

#9 NATION / ETHNOS can be translated b y the following words , PEOPLE , HEATHEN , NATION , GENTILES , so which one is IT ? Read John 11:48 and 51 and tell all what NATION / ETHNOS then means ?

#10 I believe that the so -called GREAT COMMISSION is to the Jews that are scattered all over the world i.

#11 And that preaching will happen BEFORE the GREAT TRIBULATION , which makes me a PRE - TRIBULATIONIST.

dan p

Records obtained through the Committee’s subpoenas to date reveal that the Bidens and their associates have received over $20 million in payments from foreign entities.

1) Romania: On September 28, 2015, Vice President Biden welcomed Romanian President Klaus Iohannis to the White House. Within five weeks of this meeting, a Romanian businessman involved with a high-profile corruption prosecution in Romania, Gabriel Popoviciu, began depositing a Biden associate’s bank account, which ultimately made their way into Biden family accounts. 5,000,000

2) China- CEFC: On March 1, 2017—less than two months after Vice President Joe Biden left public office—State Energy HK Limited, a Chinese company, wired $3 million to a Biden associate’s account.

4) Kazakhstan: On April 22, 2014, Kenes Rakishev, a Kazakhstani oligarch used his Singaporean entity, Novatus Holdings, to wire one of Hunter Biden’s Rosemont Seneca entities $142,300. The very next day—April 23, 2014—the Rosemont Seneca entity transferred the exact same amount of money to a car dealership for a car for Hunter Biden.

5) Ukraine: Devon Archer joined the Burisma board of directors in spring of 2014 and was joined by Hunter Biden shortly thereafter....The total amount from Russia to the Biden family and their associates is $3.5 million.

https://oversight.house.gov/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Bank-Records-Memo-3.16.23.pdf

https://oversight.house.gov/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Bank-Memorandum-5.10.23.pdf

Remember this is just the beginning.

Someone who said they are catholic said the Pope said, "God forgives those who obey their conscience." And I think it was in relation to atheists and what was argued is that atheists can be "Saved" by following their conscience.

The person posted the image. I do not know if the Pope said this or not. I did not find this quote from an official Catholic source when I checked.

So I want to be very careful not to offend or upset anyone here, just know what I'm asking is how I see scripture currently. My current fellowship is considering allowing women to be in positions of authority within our fellowship, mainly as elders/pastors. I do not understand scripture that supports this. I won't post what scriptures I use to support my basis, because I don't want this to turn into a "yes they can" vs. "no they can't" debate.

What I'm asking is with this impasse, should I stay with the current fellowship and be a "good follower"?

My current position is that I'm ok with some disagreement on certain theological issues. Like there are soft rules and hard rules type deal. Example:

A soft rule is having disagreements on stuff such as the end times. Jesus isn't going to care if we are pre-trib, pre-wrath, post-trib that type of deal. We can disagree on that and that's perfectly fine.

A hard rule is like salvation by faith. You MUST have faith to be saved, this cannot be compromised.

So what does that have to do with my question? Thank you for asking! I believe when God says "this is what I look for in a leader of my people." we need to stay within whatever framework He gives us. So I view this issue as a hard rule type issue. It's not set in stone yet, but I guess I'm trying to understand if leaving the fellowship would be violating Ephesians 4:1-3, "maintaining unity in the Spirit." If I leave because of this issue, do you see that as violation church unity?

Sorry, lots of information, lots of questions, I'm pretty conflicted on this and seek the advice of other godly people (Proverbs 15:22)

Pretribbers claim we must escape from the Coming Wrath. But which Wrath is it?

A "Day of Wrath" is coming, which appears to be a day in which the Wicked are sentenced to Eternal Destruction, ie removal from God's Paradise forever.

Rom 2.5 But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed.

But there is a more general sense of God's Wrath that presently rests upon those who are doing evil.

John 3.36 Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on them.

Rom 1.18 The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness.

God's Wrath was defined under the Old Covenant as the curses that came from disobeying the Law.

Rom 4.15 because the law brings wrath.

John the Baptist saw Wrath as already approaching Israel in his day, perhaps the Roman judgment to take place in 70 AD?

Matt 3.7 But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees coming to where he was baptizing, he said to them: “You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath?

My point: When we are told by Pretribbers that Christians must not face the time of Antichrist's Reign, they define that Reign as a time of "God's Wrath." But Antichristian Tribulation is not the same as God's Wrath. God's Wrath is defined as the consequences of disobeying God, and those martyred by the Beast are called "heroes," and not victims of God's Punishment!

The Day of God's Wrath is the day when Christ returns to sentence the wicked to Eternal Destruction.

Rom 11.18 The nations were angry, and your wrath has come. The time has come for judging the dead, and for rewarding your servants the prophets and your people who revere your name, both great and small— and for destroying those who destroy the earth.”

2 Thes 1.6 God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you 7 and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well. This will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in blazing fire with his powerful angels. 8 He will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. 9 They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might 10 on the day he comes to be glorified in his holy people and to be marveled at among all those who have believed.

There is no question that at times, a particular episode of Wrath is poured out on unbelievers when believers are in the path of this destruction. God does not wish them to be victims of "friendly fire." So at times God has warned believers to avoid this Wrath, such as during the 70 AD desturction of Jerusalem, as well as the "hour of trial" the Philadelphian Church was spared from.

But there are other times when the righteous perish with the wicked, not out of God's Wrath directed at the righteous, but only because He sometimes allows there to be innocent victims, casualties of war or natural disaster, ie collateral damage. We cannot think that Christians can escape an entire period of time when God's Wrath is beginning to be poured out on the Kingdom of Antichrist. Believers were delivered from God's Eternal Wrath on the day they were saved by the blood of Christ.

Why does the left want armed IRS agents again?

Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 3:

14 If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. 15 If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through [διὰ] fire.

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The Greek preposition is διὰ. He will be saved through fire and not by fire. Fire does not save anyone. Fire tests men's works for different rewards.

Elsewhere, Paul expressed a similar idea in 1 Timothy 2:

12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 15 But women will be saved through [διὰ] childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

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In the above passage, Paul focused on the works of women. Women will be saved not by childbearing but through the experience of childbearing. Her works involve bringing up children.

Jamieson-Fausset-Brown explained:

Ge 3:16, 'in sorrow shalt thou bring forth children'), she shall be saved." Moreover, I think it is implied indirectly that the very curse will be turned into a condition favorable to her salvation, by her faithfully performing her part in doing and suffering what God has assigned to her, namely, child-bearing and home duties, her sphere, as distinguished from public teaching, which is not hers, but man's (1Ti 2:11, 12).

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What about women who do not have kids?

Women who do not want or have kids are saved like men and women who do want kids. There is no difference. 1 Timothy 2:15 is not about justification by works. It is about sanctification through works.

CIA hit with lawsuit over letter claiming Hunter Biden laptop was Russian disinformation​

Below is from NYPost article that cannot be linked to because it shows Hunter nude holding an illegally purchased gun.​

I am at a place where I am fairly sure of my my calling but I dare not accept it. That probably sounds weird to most people, it looks wierd when I read it but thats where I'm at. Over the last I don't know 7 years? I have this turmoil in my heart fighting to believe and not to believe, calling it God will and calling it only pride.

I've had multiple experiences and dreams but I always dare not accept because it could be pride lurking in my heart.

I had a dream where I had this sword made of light but I kept saying sure someone else and I put it in the ground like the sword in the stone, then someone else would come along and try to pull it out and a voice from heaven would shout "unworthy!" And I would reach my hand out and the sword would just fly back into my hand from where it was at, this happened multiple times.

I get the underlying message of the dream, but how does one come to the point where one accepts the calling God has put there as not being born of pride? How does one move past this feeling that it could be pride lying to me in my dreams?

Prayer would be greatly appreciated or if anyone is blessed with words of wisdom or of discerning of spirits or of interpretation of dreams, I don't know ow if there is a way to privately message but if so I would chat like that as well.

Thank you for your consideration.

I'm really relating to Psalm 13 lately. He asks "How long, O LORD...How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?"

I broke up with my ex on May 13th. So it's been 3 months. I miss him, even though he didn't protect me the way he should have and let us go "almost too far" physically. Even though I told him I don't like him texting other girls, and I found out later that he lets his ex girlfriend email him and it took him awhile to realize that that wasn't okay. He even wanted us to be somewhat friends after we broke up--that speaks to a lack of consideration for him, me, and our future partners. I wanted to marry him; I can't just be friends with someone whom I had such a deep level of intimacy with.

And, he already has another girl. Not sure if they're dating, but he's been bringing her to church. I can't go to another service because there is only one, and I don't want to leave my church. And I don't want to run his name into the ground with false assumptions, but I also wonder how long he'd been talking to this girl before he broke up with me.

So, how long? How long am I going to keep missing him? How long are the memories of him going to be so poignant?

And, now what? I joke that my job is making me stupid, but it is SO boring. And I haven't been spending time on hobbies or exercising, I feel like I'm stagnating. I know what I want to do: I want to get married and start a family. I want to be a stay at home mom. But I tried to date again, went on a few dates with different guys, and I keep getting disappointed. It's so hard!

So, now what do I do? I feel like I don't contribute much to society, I feel like a blob. I'm tired, I'm angry at my ex, I also miss him really bad... it's just not fair. He gets to move on, while I'm in pain and living with memories, both good memories and memories that shouldn't be there because of how we went "almost to far." (I'm definitely going to be VERY strict about my boundaries in the future.)

Are Anglicans closer to Lutherans or Calvinists theology?

I have a possible job opportunity that I'd like prayer for. Responsibilities would be about the same as I have now, but the pay would be better. Just want to know it's the Lord's will and if it is, that He makes it happen. Thank you and God bless!