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Well I'm pretty much off the clock. Had a "passionate " talk with my coworker and her issue/grievances with the job we work at and low salary pay..
I mean I get up but its like goooshhh I could tells she was frustrated by how she was coming off..,
Then that triggered the memory of my friend...
... I was finally able to sleep fully after my friend's incident. And though i miss him... I'm starting to adjust without him. Still miss him...but I thank God for keeping me out of harms way.
I'm still debating on whether or not to keep the gifts he gave me... Looking at them makes me a bit...
...I empty my heart and asked for my faith because I'm doubtful god will help...my heart tremors and gets scared god may not come through.
I hope god will accept this prayer bc I asked for help..with my doubts.
For some reason I keep seeing my aunt in my dreams, even when I don't think about her...I don't know why...I also dreamt abt other things.
I have difficulty telling,whether God may trying to be telling,me something vs. A dream being simply a dream...
I mean I know not every dream means...
Throughout all this; my friend ending up crazy, possibly losing my job( to be honest I have a feeling I will because I can't catch on and I'm so forgetful...so I'm looking for another one now)
At least I lost some weight lol. In the span of 2-3 days... I went from 148 to 141 ...and no I'm not...
After my friend snapping and scaring the hell out of me...I just want to be alone so bad...because its scary and frustrating that you can't tell who is who. Who has deep seated issues and who doesn't.
I have prayed for God to place the right people in my life for years..,but that hasn't...
Out of nowhere , the guy I was supposed to go on a date with texted me out of no where.
He explained he was very busy and not with other people like I assumed...
He was very sweet saying that he sees something in me that he's attracted to, that he wants to see if it can work..
HOWEVER...
I'm off work now, going home actually
And I'm just not catching on.., though my boss is willing to work with me she also, in the same breathe talks about posting my job up and I get it I totally do,,its a business and needs to function.
And I'm honestly depressed, this will be the third job...
My mom has been telling me about this since my teens but it didn't hit me till my coworker and I were talking and she said this time in my life..should be used for investing.
Then what really pushed me over the edge was my friend who said the company she's with said that they'll help her be a...
I woke up from another nightmare, the fight or flight response is wearing off...
I just don't understand why I keep experiencing this, my life is a bit better...as I have a job and what not...
I did feel down today because I'm not progressing in life as fast as others and just feel stunted...
I'm leaving work...and I'm reflecting on my day. Or more like my coworker..,she has everything so together. She's such an efficient worker, a perfect mom, its crazy to see someone that has no real flaws.
Man..my coworker is perfect its like she's a jack of all trades. She worked on call as an...
I hopped off the scale and am now 150.
I'm 5'3/5'4.... My friend said I didn't look bad, I don't have "wings" and my face isn't chubby... Luckily most of the fat has gone to the trunk lol but my mid section is a bit thick too :/ but not too bad but I want to stop it before it becomes a...
Well aside from making an A on my final...a 95 actually..
Something else good and unexpected happened today as well...while I was at the coinstar, putting my coins in, a guy randomly flicks a dollar in and walks off..
I was like wow....weird..but ill take it lol.
I feel like maybe my luck is...
...I'm so used to thinking the worst ...that I'm surprised when something good happens.
Today I made a friend at work...
Who wants to hang out with me.
And that guy, he texted me back and we might meet up tommorow..I am beyond nervous...but I'm ready..
Another reason why I'm nervous is that...
I really think I've been stood up by my ..."date" I guess... Were set for Friday but he mad up this lame exscuse ...
I ran it by my friends and they say its probably an excuse too, my friend has been stood up before so I trust his judgement..
The reason why it hurts so bad is because I don't...
As I passed by my bathroom mirror, I noticed my mid section getting thicker LOL...
And I remember it was only 2 years ago that I could eat whatever I want,whenever I want and not gain a pound lol...
Now i don't know how to go about losing weight and keeping it off, yeah I can loose weight...
When I tell you this is crazy..,this is crazy..with a capital C. This has happened to me only once in my life,,and it didn't even happen to me but my mom. It was when we were at the store..my mom really needed some money...
And there was nothing in the change holder..I saw there was nothing...
I think I'm going to take a long break from CF. Its not anything anyone has said or done...
After looking back on my threads they've just been really negative and I'm sorry anyone should have to. Read that...
I've also decided not to go out with the guy... I feel I got what i wanted, I got a...
Another guy I was talking to online wantavto meet this weekend... I'm so nervous bc I feel like I'm what he doesn't want and one weekend of hanging out..he won't want to be with me anymore.
He has a degree and everything...
I keep feeling like I'm not smart enough or ill say something...
I had such a rough night last night with anxiety and depression to the point ..I couldn't sleep and I was afraid to sleep bc when I did I couldn't breathe.
I prayed and had others pray for me.
And prayed again at 5am.
And now I'm out with my mom, running errands ... And I thought..to...