Throughout all this; my friend ending up crazy, possibly losing my job( to be honest I have a feeling I will because I can't catch on and I'm so forgetful...so I'm looking for another one now)
At least I lost some weight lol. In the span of 2-3 days... I went from 148 to 141 ...and no I'm not starving myself... I was just shaken up by my friend that i barely ate.. Im back to eating regularly as the anxiety wore off...
But I'm just like wow. When I hit the gym it took forever for the weight to come off but this event took 7 pounds... Interesting.
But I've also come to a place where I think God probably isn't worth all the effort or my time... After this event, my pastor and praying to let go of things and God not really coming through I just don't know if I can trust him. I feel God works for some people, like He has clear favorites he does on and spends time with its clear its not me...
Idk if it ever has been...
Why would God be so silent...that's the worst part. I'm losing everyone, I have no one to talk to, no one in my corner, about to lose my job... I pray for these things... For him to bring friends in my life, a job I can do, but nothing materializes....
I think I'm done giving god the benefit of a doubt... There's just some people he doesn't give a shxt about and I'm one. I see people get blessed by God, be close to him ...yet god gives me silence...or the cold shoulder...
I just want to forget God he's not worth my time.
I hate him.because for some reason he hates me as well ...and I don't care...I'm done... If I'm moving on...I'm moving on without him... He was NEVER there for me..he just watched everything play out and he never gave a dxmn about my feelings, or my well being...
I'm realizing I'm here and I wake up everyday because I didn't give up...I didn't die...because if I wanted to God wouldn't stop me.
Like always he'd watch...
I'm done with him. I'm just so angry at him I could slap him myself... To be really honest I don't know why I keep coming back here...
At least I lost some weight lol. In the span of 2-3 days... I went from 148 to 141 ...and no I'm not starving myself... I was just shaken up by my friend that i barely ate.. Im back to eating regularly as the anxiety wore off...
But I'm just like wow. When I hit the gym it took forever for the weight to come off but this event took 7 pounds... Interesting.
But I've also come to a place where I think God probably isn't worth all the effort or my time... After this event, my pastor and praying to let go of things and God not really coming through I just don't know if I can trust him. I feel God works for some people, like He has clear favorites he does on and spends time with its clear its not me...
Idk if it ever has been...
Why would God be so silent...that's the worst part. I'm losing everyone, I have no one to talk to, no one in my corner, about to lose my job... I pray for these things... For him to bring friends in my life, a job I can do, but nothing materializes....
I think I'm done giving god the benefit of a doubt... There's just some people he doesn't give a shxt about and I'm one. I see people get blessed by God, be close to him ...yet god gives me silence...or the cold shoulder...
I just want to forget God he's not worth my time.
I hate him.because for some reason he hates me as well ...and I don't care...I'm done... If I'm moving on...I'm moving on without him... He was NEVER there for me..he just watched everything play out and he never gave a dxmn about my feelings, or my well being...
I'm realizing I'm here and I wake up everyday because I didn't give up...I didn't die...because if I wanted to God wouldn't stop me.
Like always he'd watch...
I'm done with him. I'm just so angry at him I could slap him myself... To be really honest I don't know why I keep coming back here...
