Parenting fail?

[I Eat Pie]

That's just how it is when you let in criminals. Man or woman.

 

[motherprayer]

That's just how it is when you let in criminals. Man or woman.

So its always the victim's fault? Sorry, I can't go along with that. Its along the same lines as saying a woman wearing a tight skirt is at fault for a rapist attacking her.

 

[I Eat Pie]

You know what makes you a victim? When someone comes up to you in the street and shoots you. A victim isn't someone who knowingly lets in someone who she doesn't know/is a child molester, and then faces the consequences.

 

[motherprayer]

You know what makes you a victim? When someone comes up to you in the street and shoots you. A victim isn't someone who knowingly lets in someone who she doesn't know/is a child molester, and then faces the consequences.

A victim is a person who falls prey to someone who is smarter and/or more malicious than them. It happens all the time.

A child is a victim of abuse even if they stole the cookie from the cookie jar, if they get beat with a belt for it.

A man is a victim if he gets robbed in a bad neighborhood, even if he's wearing Armani.

A woman is a victim if she marries an abuser, even if he hit her before vows were said.

Her bad choices were not justification or excuse for what this man did. They WERE bad choices, but it doesn't relieve him of fault in any way. What he did was his own choice, and not a result of anyone elses choices.

And, for the record, there are people on the registered sex offender list who say they got put on there for statutory rape. I just got a guy fired from his job for lying about that. He told his employers that was the reason and they believed him. I didn't, so I looked up the court transcripts, and he was convicted of aggravated sexual assault and kidnapping. His employers weren't as smart as him, but I was.

 

[Shemjaza]

A victim is a person who falls prey to someone who is smarter and/or more malicious than them. It happens all the time.

A child is a victim of abuse even if they stole the cookie from the cookie jar, if they get beat with a belt for it.

A man is a victim if he gets robbed in a bad neighborhood, even if he's wearing Armani.

A woman is a victim if she marries an abuser, even if he hit her before vows were said.

Her bad choices were not justification or excuse for what this man did. They WERE bad choices, but it doesn't relieve him of fault in any way. What he did was his own choice, and not a result of anyone elses choices.

And, for the record, there are people on the registered sex offender list who say they got put on there for statutory rape. I just got a guy fired from his job for lying about that. He told his employers that was the reason and they believed him. I didn't, so I looked up the court transcripts, and he was convicted of aggravated sexual assault and kidnapping. His employers weren't as smart as him, but I was.

Well said.

 

[I Eat Pie]

She marries a guy who hits her, and is suddenly a victim? She should've reported it.

 

[Gadarene]

She marries a guy who hits her, and is suddenly a victim? She should've reported it.

She is a victim because he hit her. Her response to it has nothing to do with her status as victim.

And it's not so easy to come forward. Domestic abuse victims frequently find it very difficult psychologically to come forward.

And yet again, your first response is to blame the victim. Not even remotely cool.

 

[motherprayer]

She marries a guy who hits her, and is suddenly a victim? She should've reported it.

Yes, she is a victim. Manipulation is a deadly thing.

 

[motherprayer]

It's not that easy. Domestic abuse victims frequently find it very difficult psychologically to come forward.

And yet again, your first response is to blame the victim. Not even remotely cool.

Thank you.

 

[I Eat Pie]

That's wrong. More than ever, women are encouraged to come forth. It's been happening a lot in the military too. If you let someone abuse you and get away with it, then you have no one to blame but yourself, because you bet, they'll do it again.

 

[Gadarene]

That's wrong. More than ever, women are encouraged to come forth. It's been happening a lot in the military too.

That doesn't change the fact that it is still difficult to. And when your solution is to shout "just come forward" from the sidelines, it doesn't really change that.

I hope you don't end up in the situation where you have been brutalised (probably repeatedly - wouldn't be surprised if there was prior domestic or sexual abuse in this woman's life, but I'm sure that's just her stupid fault too, amirite?) to the point where you're so scared to go for help because you might bring worse abuse on yourself, or even worse, where you have been so messed up psychologically that you actually think you deserve this kind of treatment or that you form a twisted attachment to your abuser.

If you let someone abuse you and get away with it, then you have no one to blame but yourself, because you bet, they'll do it again.

Yup, just their fault.

Not the abuser.

I really hope no-one close to you ever ends up in an abusive situation, because you sure aren't actually helping anyone here with this crap.

 

[I Eat Pie]

Why would I stick around in an abusive relationship? There's something called self respect.

 

[Gadarene]

Why would I stick around in an abusive relationship? There's something called self respect.

You wouldn't be the only person to think they could never fall for this and be wrong.

And yes, maybe they don't have self-respect. Ever consider why? That this may have been done to them before, possibly from a young age?

Not everyone has the luxury of self-respect. For many it's abused out of them. To then go and blame the victim for other people taking advantage of this just makes a phenomenally crappy situation for the victims even worse.

As with most of your other topics, you might want to consider the mindboggling suggestion that your personal experience is not the be-all and end-all answer to all situations.

 

[I Eat Pie]

And with all your responces, you might consider that you're wrong. Which you are. It was her fault. She was a terrible parent and she got one of her kids killed. Stop defending people who do things to themaelves. It's that mentality that makes people do stupid things. Making them think "its ok". If you take these chances, someone is gonna end up dead. But I guess you don't care about safety. The only victim here was the dead kid.

 

[motherprayer]

Why would I stick around in an abusive relationship? There's something called self respect.

This post is indicative of the stereotypical response of non-victims to domestic violence.

 

[motherprayer]

And with all your responces, you might consider that you're wrong. Which you are. It was her fault. She was a terrible parent and she got one of her kids killed. Stop defending people who do things to themaelves. It's that mentality that makes people do stupid things. Making them think "its ok". If you take these chances, someone is gonna end up dead. But I guess you don't care about safety. The only victim here was the dead kid.

No.

 

[Gadarene]

And with all your responces, you might consider that you're wrong. Which you are. It was her fault. She was a terrible parent and she got one of her kids killed. Stop defending people who do things to themaelves. It's that mentality that makes people do stupid things. Making them think "its ok". If you take these chances, someone is gonna end up dead. But I guess you don't care about safety. The only victim here was the dead kid.

Yeah, sure, condemning abusers and refusing to condone abuse no matter the situation will have no effect whatsoever on abuse TROLOLOLOL

 

[I Eat Pie]

Stop being an apologist for child neglect.

 

[Gadarene]

The Pervocracy: "Why does she stay with that jerk?"

(Contains naughty words, because offensiveness is up there with abuse)

 

[I Eat Pie]

And for you Motherprayer, if something happened to your kids, I guarentee you would blame yourself for it.