Parenting fail?

[GoldenBoy89]

You're not much of a caring citizen if you blame the victim of a heinous crime.

Is she a fool for letting this man move in after only knowing him a couple months? You bet! But she just as easily could have been trusting the man of her dreams. How is it her fault that he ended up being a psychopathic, murderer liar and sexual offender?

 

[I Eat Pie]

Because she wasn't cautious with a stranger coming into her home and having contact with her kids.

 

[lupusFati]

Yeah there's no way you're going to see reason any time soon.

See ya, kiddo.

 

[I Eat Pie]

#derp

 

[lupusFati]

#growup

 

[I Eat Pie]

says the guy trying to insult

 

[lupusFati]

says the guy trying to insult

Yes, but you're a Neurotypical, therefore you have absolutely no excuse.
Besides, I don't have to insult you for you to embarrass yourself by blaming a dead woman for something that wasn't her fault.

What's next? Are you going to blame the Jews for the concentration camps of WWII?

 

[I Eat Pie]

You're asking a guy with the Israeli flag on his avatar about blaming Jews.

As I said many posts ago, it was tragic, but justice was served when the officer opened fire on him, but it could have been prevented if the mother was more careful. That's all I said.

It was part her fault, just like it was part the killer's fault. Now let's all learn from her mistakes so that we can prevent more of these things.

 

[Shemjaza]

Because she wasn't cautious with a stranger coming into her home and having contact with her kids.

So, given we have very little hard information... since when is your boyfriend of two months a complete stranger?


And given that people can concoct a lot of evidence about their pasts, how much is appropriate due diligence?

When you meet someone and you start thinking seriously about marriage, how much research are you going to do? Will you just check the sex offender lists? How about a requiring a police background check? Hmm... those aren't 100%, how about a private investigator following them around for a few months? Maybe you should bug their phone and email?

Does any of that sound reasonable? It shouldn't, any one I was starting to get serious with who started investigating me like that would find themselves single.

 

[I Eat Pie]

I'm not suggesting you stalk them and know what they're doing 24/7, but bringing someone into your home, especially with your kids in it, shouldn't you at least know what they've been doing with their lives? The guy had multiple offences, one including being a sex offender, and she lets him in expecting what? That everything will go ok?

 

[lupusFati]

You're asking a guy with the Israeli flag on his avatar about blaming Jews.

Means absolutely nothing to me.

 

[Jade Margery]

I'm not suggesting you stalk them and know what they're doing 24/7, but bringing someone into your home, especially with your kids in it, shouldn't you at least know what they've been doing with their lives? The guy had multiple offences, one including being a sex offender, and she lets him in expecting what? That everything will go ok?

The point is, thus far there is no indication that she knew any of that.

People can fake it, they can lie. He could have acted like the sweetest, most chivalrous guy in the world, playing ball with the kids and bringing home groceries and being nice to her... how the heck would she have known? Unless someone says to you, 'by the way, I'm a registered sex offender...'

Do you know how to do a background check on someone? How to check for someone on the sex offender registry... when they had failed to register on said registry?

It may serve as a cautionary tale, but that doesn't mean she is partly to blame for what happened. If there was proof that she knew about his past and let him into her house anyway, then I *might* agree you have a point, but until such information is available you're just jumping to conclusions and blaming the victim. "She should have done a background check, what did she think would happen?" isn't much removed from "She shouldn't have been walking home alone at night, what did she think would happen?"

 

[keith99]

Interesting that the first statements is to blame the victim. Also, happy ending? I've been drinking but weren't two people murdered, if I read that correctly?

I see no reason to harshly blame the mother. Is checking someone's criminal record a normal thing? I currently with two people I barely knew before we moved into together. I'd agree that living with a man after 2 months if you have children does seem rather quick though.

Single mother, crappy job. Often having some kind of roommate is the only way to make ends meet.

And yea, that is hardly my idea of a happy ending.

 

[I Eat Pie]

The local police station would have given her that information. It is a causionary tale. Don't let strangers into the house. I'll wait for further details on this.

 

[FreeSpirit74]

Ya but if you were a woman and you knew a guy for 2 months, would you let them move in with you and your kids? -.- With no background check.

I wouldn't, kids or no kids. First off, any man who would be living with me would have made the commitment of marriage first and, yes, I would run a background check on anyone I would be getting seriously with. That would be spelled out to him from the get-go once he wants to be "exclusive" - complete transparency is required, and he's not allowed to answer any personal questions about himself with "None of your business" or similar.

That's why I'm single. So I don't have to put up with the crap that so often comes with relationships. My life is on an even keel and in balance without them. I get enough love and support from the people around me that that "hole" is completely filled, plus I get to keep my privacy and freedom to boot. And I shake my head at these women who are so completely stupid about men that they just let them into their lives without finding out more about them first.

 

[FreeSpirit74]

...any one I was starting to get serious with who started investigating me like that would find themselves single.

Considering the fact that you seem to think it is out of line for someone, particularly a woman (as you ID as being male) to be cautious about who she is getting involved with, maybe that's not such a bad thing. When you are in a serious relationship "none of your business" is not an acceptable answer to any question put to you about yourself. Neither is lying. You have to be completely truthful, put it all out there, even if they don't ask about it.

 

[Gadarene]

Considering the fact that you seem to think it is out of line for someone, particularly a woman (as you ID as being male) to be cautious about who she is getting involved with, maybe that's not such a bad thing. When you are in a serious relationship "none of your business" is not an acceptable answer to any question put to you about yourself. Neither is lying. You have to be completely truthful, put it all out there, even if they don't ask about it.

He made no qualifier about gender. Make your point but don't put words in his mouth.

 

[DaisyDay]

It was a tragic story, but with a happy ending.

That's your idea of a happy ending?

 

[motherprayer]

Um. Isn't the killer the one ultimately responsible? Or am I missing something?

 

[Lethe]

You're asking a guy with the Israeli flag on his avatar about blaming Jews.

Means absolutely nothing to me.

More importantly, it's not an argument. It's a statement.