Dislike the morning greetings at Church on Sunday.

[Tony Ramirez]

You know after three worship songs and before the announcements and teaching my Chuch does this thing telling you to greet people you don't know.

I suffer from Asperger or highly functional ASD so I don't approach anyone for greetings. I just sit down and cross my arms. Sometimes a guy rarely a woman will greet me buy just saying there name and that's it or ask me questions like your name, how long you been attending TGC then how was your day when I say fine and the conversation is over.

This past Sunday was the worst actually putting me in depression. A guy asked if I wanted prayer I said I was fine. Another guy just shook my hand. What got to me was a guy a few seats up greeted a girl they talked like it was common even after talking the service. Meanwhile I could not even greet the woman sitting behind me.

I went home put on Soma FM Drone Zone which plays depressing Ambient music especially on Sunday where they play those extra long sometimes lasting over a hour tracks.

I did make up for it but going to a Church group gathering where I talked and sat with a couple of woman. If you can call it talking they did most of the talking. I also went to my life group where the leader knows I have Asperger's ASD and we had a good prayer.

I still feel down lonely and depressed even though I have a few people who greet me and the Pastor who I pray with says I am not alone. I might no be alone but it is sure depressed when I just can't talk to people normal

 

[seeking.IAM]

Different Christian traditions do things differently. I'm not on the spectrum but I don't like pastors asking me to do things outside of my comfort zone. My former church started with a meet and greet and the pastor liked to interrupt his sermons with a, "Turn to your neighbor and tell them..." Uh, no thank you. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.

Now I attend a church where the expectation is you enter in silence so as not to disturb others who are praying before worship begins. Worship follows a prescribed liturgy with an absence of the kind of "pastoral creativity" that plagued my other church and annoyed me so much. Problem solved.

 

[Lost4words]

God bless you my friend. You have lots of friends here.

Take it one step at a time. Pray to God about the things that you have difficulty with.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I already prayed yesterday I just wish God will take away my ASD so I can socialize like a normal person but that's impossible even for God.

 

[musicalpilgrim]

I already prayed yesterday I just wish God will take away my ASD so I can socialize like a normal person but that's impossible even for God.

Nothing is impossible for God! Truly.
I believe you can learn and change how your brain works. I have just started reading a book from Amazon called
'The Woman who Changed her Brain'. by
Barbara Arrowsmith-Young.
Her problems were severe but she worked so hard and changed her brain. Try it, the Lord is with you all the way.
God bless you and give you strength to persevere in Jesus precious name

 

[GreekOrthodox]

You bring up a good point about visitors. Although I'm fairly extroverted and I can deal with random greetings, in an unorganized, unfamiliar setting, I can have severe panic attacks. Back in December, I was travelling for business and went to a LARGE mall (4-5 anchor stores and probably 100+ stores and kiosks in the mall itself. About 20 minutes of walking around, I was practically running for the nearest exit. So I definitely understand your unease.

Would you have any suggestions for individuals with Aspergers or PTSD even, or ways that a church can make itself inviting for you?

 

[Aussie Pete]

You know after three worship songs and before the announcements and teaching my Chuch does this thing telling you to greet people you don't know.

I suffer from Asperger or highly functional ASD so I don't approach anyone for greetings. I just sit down and cross my arms. Sometimes a guy rarely a woman will greet me buy just saying there name and that's it or ask me questions like your name, how long you been attending TGC then how was your day when I say fine and the conversation is over.

This past Sunday was the worst actually putting me in depression. A guy asked if I wanted prayer I said I was fine. Another guy just shook my hand. What got to me was a guy a few seats up greeted a girl they talked like it was common even after talking the service. Meanwhile I could not even greet the woman sitting behind me.

I went home put on Soma FM Drone Zone which plays depressing Ambient music especially on Sunday where they play those extra long sometimes lasting over a hour tracks.

I did make up for it but going to a Church group gathering where I talked and sat with a couple of woman. If you can call it talking they did most of the talking. I also went to my life group where the leader knows I have Asperger's ASD and we had a good prayer.

I still feel down lonely and depressed even though I have a few people who greet me and the Pastor who I pray with says I am not alone. I might no be alone but it is sure depressed when I just can't talk to people normal

You don't need to be suffering Asperger's to dislike the "turn to your neighbour" ritual. It's okay for the naturally outgoing, but it smacks of controlling to others - including me. It also interrupts the flow of the meeting.

One thing that has helped me, a natural introvert, is to become less self conscious. No one can really change themselves. But God can and God will if we ask Him. It's a process and takes time but He will do it. Self conscious people are less effective in God's service. The fear of man brings a snare.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Everyone there make it so easy to greet each other you should see it to believe it.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

You know after three worship songs and before the announcements and teaching my Chuch does this thing telling you to greet people you don't know.

I suffer from Asperger or highly functional ASD so I don't approach anyone for greetings. I just sit down and cross my arms. Sometimes a guy rarely a woman will greet me buy just saying there name and that's it or ask me questions like your name, how long you been attending TGC then how was your day when I say fine and the conversation is over.

This past Sunday was the worst actually putting me in depression. A guy asked if I wanted prayer I said I was fine. Another guy just shook my hand. What got to me was a guy a few seats up greeted a girl they talked like it was common even after talking the service. Meanwhile I could not even greet the woman sitting behind me.

I went home put on Soma FM Drone Zone which plays depressing Ambient music especially on Sunday where they play those extra long sometimes lasting over a hour tracks.

I did make up for it but going to a Church group gathering where I talked and sat with a couple of woman. If you can call it talking they did most of the talking. I also went to my life group where the leader knows I have Asperger's ASD and we had a good prayer.

I still feel down lonely and depressed even though I have a few people who greet me and the Pastor who I pray with says I am not alone. I might no be alone but it is sure depressed when I just can't talk to people normal

Sometimes I'm talkative at Church
sometimes I'm not.
I'm there to worship God. Period
M-Bob

 

[crossnote]

I get suspicious when people greet me with a big unnatural smile...especially if they are wearing a name tag. Just let the hi's and bye's take place naturally without having a special time slot for 'everyone turn to the one sitting next to them and say, "I love you with the love of the Lord looking right into their eyes...Gag.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

I get suspicious when people greet me with a big unnatural smile...especially if they are wearing a name tag. Just let the hi's and bye's take place naturally without having a special time slot for 'everyone turn to the one sitting next to them and say, "I love you with the love of the Lord looking right into their eyes...Gag.

Reminds me of a Church that I attended a long time ago now.

I'm there to worship the Lord and too much of that other stuff may deter from that?
M-Bob

 

[Tony Ramirez]

The morning greetings are only about 5 minutes but to me it's 5 minutes of noise ASD hear crowds at the same volume.

 

[crossnote]

The morning greetings are only about 5 minutes but to me it's 5 minutes of noise ASD hear crowds at the same volume.

What irks me is when they substitute the public reading of Scripture for "hi, hello, how are ya'? yap, yap, yap".

 

[Tony Ramirez]

So we all agree we hate the morning greetings. I do love the church I am attending and I am not going to leave over it though as I made friends even an close one that knows of my ASD as does the Pastor and is helping me socialize

 

[mama2one]

follow

 

[anna ~ grace]

So we all agree we hate the morning greetings. I do love the church I am attending and I am not going to leave over it though as I made friends even an close one that knows of my ASD as does the Pastor and is helping me socialize

It is tough. I am also very shy, and basically recoil from most social stuff, unless I'm at work. I know my role at work. The rest of the time, I don't talk much.

Don't worry, Tony. It's ok. You're not as alone as you may feel. Many of us on here struggle with excessive social stimulation, and even basic stuff. I struggle with eye contact. And small talk. I stink at that stuff. I don't like talking to people.

You're not alone.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

What about that guy that was able to talk to that girl easily but I freeze up like a clam?

 

[anna ~ grace]

What about that guy that was able to talk to that girl easily but I freeze up like a clam?

People are different. Comparing yourself to other people, especially if you struggle with shyness, Autism, or any other condition or trait, is a sure recipe for feeling miserable. I did this for years, and became suicidally depressed. No joke.

You're just different. That's ok. Your value in the sight of God is not based on how comfy you are around people, how easily you can talk to folks, or how outgoing you are. At all.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Thanks Gracia just that was a flashback to my miserable high school college days when I was not a Christian and did not know I had Asperger.

 

[anna ~ grace]

Thanks Gracia just that was a flashback to my miserable high school college days when I was not a Christian and did not know I had Asperger.

I hear you. I basically just described myself in high school, too. It was miserable.

Now, I don't worry about it too much. A little, sometimes, but it's not that bad. I focus on Christ, and try to pray for people if I can't interact with them any other way. That works, too.