- Jul 9, 2019
- 59
- 46
- 31
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Eastern Orthodox
- Marital Status
- Single
This is something thats been bothering me for a while. Recently on another orthodox forum someone posted a question and so part of this post is just me lifting stuff from what I responded with to that post.
This lonliness though, its like a cancer eating me from the inside. I'm not dissalusioned, having a wife wouldn't make me wonderfully happy or cure all the problems in my life. That said, God said that "its not good for man to be alone". We are designed for marriage and those who don't get married are the exception. I'm doing everything I'm "suppose" to do. I'm buildling a life for myself, i have hobbies, I'm not just sitting around sulking that I don't have someone. But its always there in the back of my mind, like hunger it can be ignored but you never truly forget that your hungry.
I met with my priest last week and talked to him some and we primary talked about this issue. I'm a 26 year old man, I converted about a year and a half ago and was attending regularly for a year and a half before that. In that 3 years Ive been attending a parish with LOTS of young adults. A solid part of the parish is people 20-35. In that time Ive encountered (as in been in the same room with) a grand total of 3 women who were orthodox, single, and a appropriate age.
I want to get married. I know thats what I want in my life, I want to find a partner I can go through life with and more importantly grow towards Christ with. It feels completely hopeless. When I talked to my priest about this I literally broke down crying because it feels so hopeless. He was great and understands where Im coming from but didn't really have any suggestions other than trying to go to a conference.
At the end of the day dating is largely a numbers game and as someone orthodox in america numbers are woefully against me and honestly it bothers me. I'm not getting younger, the dating pool is only going to get smaller as I continue to age. I want a family, I want a partner in life, I want someone I can pray with, go to church with, worship with. Currently I live alone and the most painful part of my day is coming home to an empty apartment. Its compounded by the fact that many of my friends arn't christian and those that are are a very "progressive" type of christian. We basically have no shared values when it comes to the faith. I love them all to death but its very isolating to realize that no one around you views the world the same way. My parish is an hour and a half away and while I have a few friends there Ive not met any.
Recently Ive been giving orthodoxandsingle a shot, but I don't have a lot of hope there either. Most of the women on their just put a profile picture and then leave their profile blank. Its not suppose to be tinder where you swipe right cause you like they way they look. Whats the point of messaging someone if you don't know anything about them other than what they look like?
In my life my only real goal (outside of knowing God more) at this point is to get married. I'm "desperate" but not for anyone, but for a good relationship. I'm not going to look outside of orthodoxy for a spouse and there isn't a lot (or any that I can see) options within orthodoxy either. I'm trying to find peace in living as a single man but its difficult and honestly very emotional.
At this point I'll do almost anything just to MEET a woman who meets the basic criteria of being 1)orthodox, 2) Single, 3) between ages 21 and 29. Forget marriage, I just want to know that a woman who meets those 3 things exist.
This lonliness though, its like a cancer eating me from the inside. I'm not dissalusioned, having a wife wouldn't make me wonderfully happy or cure all the problems in my life. That said, God said that "its not good for man to be alone". We are designed for marriage and those who don't get married are the exception. I'm doing everything I'm "suppose" to do. I'm buildling a life for myself, i have hobbies, I'm not just sitting around sulking that I don't have someone. But its always there in the back of my mind, like hunger it can be ignored but you never truly forget that your hungry.
I met with my priest last week and talked to him some and we primary talked about this issue. I'm a 26 year old man, I converted about a year and a half ago and was attending regularly for a year and a half before that. In that 3 years Ive been attending a parish with LOTS of young adults. A solid part of the parish is people 20-35. In that time Ive encountered (as in been in the same room with) a grand total of 3 women who were orthodox, single, and a appropriate age.
I want to get married. I know thats what I want in my life, I want to find a partner I can go through life with and more importantly grow towards Christ with. It feels completely hopeless. When I talked to my priest about this I literally broke down crying because it feels so hopeless. He was great and understands where Im coming from but didn't really have any suggestions other than trying to go to a conference.
At the end of the day dating is largely a numbers game and as someone orthodox in america numbers are woefully against me and honestly it bothers me. I'm not getting younger, the dating pool is only going to get smaller as I continue to age. I want a family, I want a partner in life, I want someone I can pray with, go to church with, worship with. Currently I live alone and the most painful part of my day is coming home to an empty apartment. Its compounded by the fact that many of my friends arn't christian and those that are are a very "progressive" type of christian. We basically have no shared values when it comes to the faith. I love them all to death but its very isolating to realize that no one around you views the world the same way. My parish is an hour and a half away and while I have a few friends there Ive not met any.
Recently Ive been giving orthodoxandsingle a shot, but I don't have a lot of hope there either. Most of the women on their just put a profile picture and then leave their profile blank. Its not suppose to be tinder where you swipe right cause you like they way they look. Whats the point of messaging someone if you don't know anything about them other than what they look like?
In my life my only real goal (outside of knowing God more) at this point is to get married. I'm "desperate" but not for anyone, but for a good relationship. I'm not going to look outside of orthodoxy for a spouse and there isn't a lot (or any that I can see) options within orthodoxy either. I'm trying to find peace in living as a single man but its difficult and honestly very emotional.
At this point I'll do almost anything just to MEET a woman who meets the basic criteria of being 1)orthodox, 2) Single, 3) between ages 21 and 29. Forget marriage, I just want to know that a woman who meets those 3 things exist.