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irineiv

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Hello, my name is Ivanova. I've been a christian for 8 years.
I went through a rough patch in my life where I faced some issues for several years (unenployment, health problems, family problems, betrayals, heartbreak, some attempts of abuse by men against me in the church).
My faith has been in the dumps because of that for years, I experienced a lot of anger, frustration, loneliness and sometimes I thought God had forgotten me. My so called "christian friends" start telling me my life was cursed, that I had surely sinned secretly and more nonsense that sincerely made me decide to not be their friends anymore and eventually I changed church.

In spite of all this, today I'm engaged to a good man who wants to go with me to church and start a family, my health has improved, I had friends grant me medical treatment for free, my needs have been met, I'm unenployed again but I'm about to start a new career in hopes that my work environment is better in this new field.

I know that my tears were not in vain and I feel in my heart God has comforted me. I now want to reconnect with my faith and start over. I feel deeply like I failed God, my faith failed me through it all since I walked away from God in anger because of the lack of answer to my prayers years ago.

I'm definetly struggling to come close to God again, I would appreciate any adivce and words of encouragement from anyone willing to help and share with me.
Thanks for reading.
 
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linux.poet

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Welcome to CF!

Perhaps reading the Book of Job (again?) might help. Like you, he went through a period of suffering where his friends claimed that his suffering was as a result of some hidden sin. At the end of the book, God rebukes those wretched counselors and restores Job's fortunes. Perhaps that would be encouraging. God did not abandon you in your trial and is there by your side, just like he was there for Job at the end of the book.

We also have a Requests for Christian Advice section here on the forum if you have further specific things you are looking for advice with. Perhaps pursuing the Daily Devotions section might help for general encouragement too. But I would head to the Book of Job first. :)
 
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