What is Wrong With Hurt Feelings

[FatalHeart]

I am a very sensitive guy. My feeling get hurt really easily. I OWN THAT. I know that most people will never admit that, or that being sensitive make me week to a lot of people. But it is who I am.

What is wrong with being really sensitive? I am not going kill myself because my feelings were hurt. I am not going to attack the person that offended me. I may pretend that person doesn't exist any more, which is not a punishment toward him for it is not easy relating to me anyways. And I will move on from my hurt feelings.

I have had people try to be friends with me, but I tell them the truth that it is not easy being friends with me. But sometimes they try anyways, and I just can't. Why? Because I am taking a risk.

But my sensitivity hasn't affected my professional life. I will still do my job, even if I have to work with somebody. But I keep it professional. I don't care about his or her personal life. If my grade depends on working with somebody, then so be it. If that person hates me and shows it, my feelings will be hurt, but I will survive and get over it.

Conservatives act like as though hurt feelings make a person week. I don't see anything wrong with them. I was told that it is arrogant to have hurt feelings. How?

I know I am sensitive and I own that. It is who I am. And yes, it makes it hard for me to make friends as a result. But I am still surviving.

What is wrong with being overly sensitive? Don't we have the right to feel what we feel? People act like as though there is something wrong with that.

I am not a tough guy with thick skin. I am quiet and I keep to myself these days, except if I have to work with somebody and my grade depends on it.

Be blunt and don't worry about hurting my feelings. I asked. ​

"The wise man will avoid all extremes." Remember that as a Christian you should be living to please God, which means that if He calls you to something or to behave a certain way, your feelings do not come first, but God's feelings come first. The only way feeling strongly can be arrogant is when it gets in the way of what God wants. God made you as a sensitive person. Good. It means you hold a special position to help those it helps you understand, but if you let your feelings rule you more than God's laws or desires, then you become evil and your feelings are actually wrong to follow. I say wrong to follow, not wrong to feel. There are times when we may worship ourselves or our own feelings, letting them take greater preference over and define the truth, instead of letting God's voice or truth reign, in which case, we are wrong. Not all feelings are created equal. Not everything you feel is going to be righteous. Your feelings can actually be evil, selfish, arrogant, rude. Remember that sin comes from the heart. It's in those times you let God lead your heart, change who you are, rather than letting your heart lead itself into oblivion. But as you grow mature in Christ and read the Bible, the Holy Spirit will show you where you do need to change. We all need to change. Those who are not sensitive are ignoring a part of who they should be and sin because they lack kindness, awareness, and understanding, but there is another extreme of being so sensitive that you let what you feel be more important than God's will for your life. Both of these are wrong.

 

[Introverted1293]

Again I've been there in like a 3 year funk. my friends and everyone grew up faster than I did and they left me.. took a few years to get on my feet, but when I did I still fought with depression but I came into my own. and because of the time I spent on the bottom I no longer fear it nor is there anything I can't work though/I am much stronger because of it, and as a result can take on extra stuff when I need to which helps when you get married. which will happen if you just get out of the house and stop think about how bad things are. find something get good at it make friends around it and they will help you build yourself up. don't dewell on what you can't control work with what you can till everything comes together.

Don't forget prayer, but at the same time don't think it is a magic fix. God is pushing you in a new direction and seen it fit to remove all of your comfort or your go to items to get you moving in this direction. when you get going he will reward you with what you are looking for/need

Thank you very much. This was very very useful.

 

[Introverted1293]

Maybe you grew up as I did being bullied and threatened by so called christians ,and this made me more combative ,when the rulling class tell lies about you too .

Yes, indeed

 

[Introverted1293]

I didn't become combative; I became depressed. I learned though that Christians shouldn't be hurting other people with their words. This has caused me to try to be gentle and encouraging with my words. That is a lesson that's a blessing!

Psalm 57
4 My soul is among lions: and I lie even among them that are set on fire, even the sons of men, whose teeth are spears and arrows, and their tongue a sharp sword.

Proverbs 12
18 There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health...

25 Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.

Proverbs 15
1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
2 The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness...
4 A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.

The following (Matthew 12) reminds me that we can't expect good words from non-Christians. And if Christians use harsh words, pray for them.

Matthew 12
34 O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. 35 A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things.

Ephesians 4
29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. 30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.


James 1
26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.


James 3
1 My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation. 2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. 3 Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body. 4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. 5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. 7 For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: 8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. 9 Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. 10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. 11 Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? 12 Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.

I'm not perfect --- that's for sure. But I'm praying for guidance with my speech.

Psalm 19
14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.

May God bless you, Introverted, as you bless others!

Thank you very much for sharing those verses. I probably should start reading scripture more.

 

[Introverted1293]

You sound like a really intelligent person ,both emotionally and intellectually
and not weak at all . Yes, there are those who pretend to be strong all the time , but it is an act .

Thank you very much. God bless you

 

[Introverted1293]

View attachment 241413

Very good prayer

 

[Introverted1293]

Oscar replied well to you in regard to what to do with hurt feelings .
the question i want to address is "why" your feelings are hurt so easily .
AND the answer is more then a little uncomfortable .
hurt feelings are simply offence.. you are easily offended .

this is why we must die in Christ through baptism laying OUR life down to live in his life . then we do not matter to self any more .dead men cannot be offended .and people alive in Christ easily forgive.

die to self and forgive

I know that everything that you're saying is right.

 

[Introverted1293]

There is nothing wrong with being sensitive.

Thank you

 

[Introverted1293]

"The wise man will avoid all extremes." Remember that as a Christian you should be living to please God, which means that if He calls you to something or to behave a certain way, your feelings do not come first, but God's feelings come first. The only way feeling strongly can be arrogant is when it gets in the way of what God wants. God made you as a sensitive person. Good. It means you hold a special position to help those it helps you understand, but if you let your feelings rule you more than God's laws or desires, then you become evil and your feelings are actually wrong to follow. I say wrong to follow, not wrong to feel. There are times when we may worship ourselves or our own feelings, letting them take greater preference over and define the truth, instead of letting God's voice or truth reign, in which case, we are wrong. Not all feelings are created equal. Not everything you feel is going to be righteous. Your feelings can actually be evil, selfish, arrogant, rude. Remember that sin comes from the heart. It's in those times you let God lead your heart, change who you are, rather than letting your heart lead itself into oblivion. But as you grow mature in Christ and read the Bible, the Holy Spirit will show you where you do need to change. We all need to change. Those who are not sensitive are ignoring a part of who they should be and sin because they lack kindness, awareness, and understanding, but there is another extreme of being so sensitive that you let what you feel be more important than God's will for your life. Both of these are wrong.

Thank you

 

[Lady Bug]

like someone said, I was also picked on in school very often and it has shaped who I am today but not in a positive sense - it is probably the reason I am so sensitive and worried about pleasing others...:/

 

[Mountainmike]

I feel for you.
I may be wrong but I suspect hurt feelings are born of low self esteem, and so any perceived slight - confirms to your inner self how unworthy you feel.

Maybe it is a comfort that Jesus said "blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven"

I am a very sensitive guy. My feeling get hurt really easily. I OWN THAT. I know that most people will never admit that, or that being sensitive make me week to a lot of people. But it is who I am.

What is wrong with being really sensitive? I am not going kill myself because my feelings were hurt. I am not going to attack the person that offended me. I may pretend that person doesn't exist any more, which is not a punishment toward him for it is not easy relating to me anyways. And I will move on from my hurt feelings.

I have had people try to be friends with me, but I tell them the truth that it is not easy being friends with me. But sometimes they try anyways, and I just can't. Why? Because I am taking a risk.

But my sensitivity hasn't affected my professional life. I will still do my job, even if I have to work with somebody. But I keep it professional. I don't care about his or her personal life. If my grade depends on working with somebody, then so be it. If that person hates me and shows it, my feelings will be hurt, but I will survive and get over it.

Conservatives act like as though hurt feelings make a person week. I don't see anything wrong with them. I was told that it is arrogant to have hurt feelings. How?

I know I am sensitive and I own that. It is who I am. And yes, it makes it hard for me to make friends as a result. But I am still surviving.

What is wrong with being overly sensitive? Don't we have the right to feel what we feel? People act like as though there is something wrong with that.

I am not a tough guy with thick skin. I am quiet and I keep to myself these days, except if I have to work with somebody and my grade depends on it.

Be blunt and don't worry about hurting my feelings. I asked. ​

 

[Sam81]

Hurt feelings and conviction are two completely different things. Keep in mind we live in a world where people love wickedness and don't want to be told any different. So a lot of time when conservatives say, "I don't care about your feelings", they are talking about the way that people in these times get offended when societal wickedness is challenged.

Now conservatives have their own wickedness. They defend the rich, want to deport people, and are full of wrath. But generally, when conservatives say, "I don't care about your feelings", what they are really saying is, "I am going to challenge wickedness, I don't care if it bothers you or not".

In day to day life, among our brothers and sisters, we should never have the idea of "I don't care about your feelings". Paul cared very much about other people's feelings and if there was any ambiguity at all, he would always err on the side of causing the least amount of offence. Therefore, when conservatives use that expression they are wrong to do it. They are often times challenging wickedness, but from a spirit of being flippant and defiant, and are not preaching the truth in love.

 

[thecolorsblend]

What is wrong with being overly sensitive? Don't we have the right to feel what we feel? People act like as though there is something wrong with that.

I think conservatives are rather fed up with everybody’s feelings, particularly when the tantrums people throw about “tone” or whatever are really just emotional manipulation designed to cloak encroaching censorship of an alternative viewpoint.

 

[Avniel]

I’m very sensitive, it’s a direct result of my childhood. Sometimes it’s good and helps me relate to those in pain, particularly children, my heart goes out to young black boys struggling to be accepted in a generational slave curse. Sometimes it doesn’t help, I may overreact and I might cut good people off to protect myself. The older I get the more I heal

 

[RaymondG]

I am a very sensitive guy. My feeling get hurt really easily. I OWN THAT. I know that most people will never admit that, or that being sensitive make me week to a lot of people. But it is who I am.

What is wrong with being really sensitive? I am not going kill myself because my feelings were hurt. I am not going to attack the person that offended me. I may pretend that person doesn't exist any more, which is not a punishment toward him for it is not easy relating to me anyways. And I will move on from my hurt feelings.

I have had people try to be friends with me, but I tell them the truth that it is not easy being friends with me. But sometimes they try anyways, and I just can't. Why? Because I am taking a risk.

But my sensitivity hasn't affected my professional life. I will still do my job, even if I have to work with somebody. But I keep it professional. I don't care about his or her personal life. If my grade depends on working with somebody, then so be it. If that person hates me and shows it, my feelings will be hurt, but I will survive and get over it.

Conservatives act like as though hurt feelings make a person week. I don't see anything wrong with them. I was told that it is arrogant to have hurt feelings. How?

I know I am sensitive and I own that. It is who I am. And yes, it makes it hard for me to make friends as a result. But I am still surviving.

What is wrong with being overly sensitive? Don't we have the right to feel what we feel? People act like as though there is something wrong with that.

I am not a tough guy with thick skin. I am quiet and I keep to myself these days, except if I have to work with somebody and my grade depends on it.

Be blunt and don't worry about hurting my feelings. I asked. ​

No, there is nothing wrong with choosing to be sensitive. But know that you are not sensitive......You are choosing to identify as sensitive. When someone tells you something you think is good....you choose to feel good after hearing it. When someone tells you something you think is bad, you choose to feel bad about it. And there is nothing wrong with this.

But know....that you make these choices and you can choose to reverse your feelings or, even better, not have any feelings at all based on words uttered.

If salvation is a concern....The bible teaches to guard your heart and mind...and to not judge. Doing this would entail, not even considering the statements of others as good or bad, and choosing not to feeling anything other than what you desire to feel. It is a process of dying daily. At the end, there will be no more I (who can get offended) but Christ that lives in me. Then the sky is the limit......

 

[woobadooba]

Everyone has an opinion, but few really care to make a difference.

 

[RaymondG]

Everything will be ok, but not before you are ok with everything. The only lasting change, is that done in ones self.

 

[LoricaLady]

Hurt feelings and conviction are two completely different things. Keep in mind we live in a world where people love wickedness and don't want to be told any different. So a lot of time when conservatives say, "I don't care about your feelings", they are talking about the way that people in these times get offended when societal wickedness is challenged.

Now conservatives have their own wickedness. They defend the rich, want to deport people, and are full of wrath. But generally, when conservatives say, "I don't care about your feelings", what they are really saying is, "I am going to challenge wickedness, I don't care if it bothers you or not".

In day to day life, among our brothers and sisters, we should never have the idea of "I don't care about your feelings". Paul cared very much about other people's feelings and if there was any ambiguity at all, he would always err on the side of causing the least amount of offence. Therefore, when conservatives use that expression they are wrong to do it. They are often times challenging wickedness, but from a spirit of being flippant and defiant, and are not preaching the truth in love.

This is a forum for giving Christian advice to the OP. It is not appropriate to use it as a soap box to verbally trash what you call "conservatives."

 

[Kit Sigmon]

One of my favorites

 

[Andrew77]

I am a very sensitive guy. My feeling get hurt really easily. I OWN THAT. I know that most people will never admit that, or that being sensitive make me week to a lot of people. But it is who I am.

What is wrong with being really sensitive? I am not going kill myself because my feelings were hurt. I am not going to attack the person that offended me. I may pretend that person doesn't exist any more, which is not a punishment toward him for it is not easy relating to me anyways. And I will move on from my hurt feelings.

I have had people try to be friends with me, but I tell them the truth that it is not easy being friends with me. But sometimes they try anyways, and I just can't. Why? Because I am taking a risk.

But my sensitivity hasn't affected my professional life. I will still do my job, even if I have to work with somebody. But I keep it professional. I don't care about his or her personal life. If my grade depends on working with somebody, then so be it. If that person hates me and shows it, my feelings will be hurt, but I will survive and get over it.

Conservatives act like as though hurt feelings make a person week. I don't see anything wrong with them. I was told that it is arrogant to have hurt feelings. How?

I know I am sensitive and I own that. It is who I am. And yes, it makes it hard for me to make friends as a result. But I am still surviving.

What is wrong with being overly sensitive? Don't we have the right to feel what we feel? People act like as though there is something wrong with that.

I am not a tough guy with thick skin. I am quiet and I keep to myself these days, except if I have to work with somebody and my grade depends on it.

Be blunt and don't worry about hurting my feelings. I asked. ​

I'm a bit confused by your post, because you say you have a hard time being friends with anyone...... and then you say 'why is wrong with being an overly sensitive guy'.

Well... if you are happy being alone, knock yourself out. If you want friends.... or if you want a wife someday.... you are going to have to get your emotions under control, and stop being a balloon ready to pop at the slightest touch.

I gotta be honest with you.... ain't nobody who will never hurt you, unless they can't talk, or communicate. Unless your best friend is a virtual girlfriend on an Iphone, anyone you can communicate with, at some point, will hurt you.

The best wife that has ever existed since the dawn of humanity, at some point will hurt you. Though I doubt you'll lose a rib in the deal like Adam, but the fact remains.

How are you going to handle that? Stay single for life, and live as a hobbit? Or divorce every couple of years, when your wife hurts your feelings?

I'm just asking honestly.... seriously, what is your plan? You say this doesn't harm you professionally.... but here's a fact.... most professionals that succeed, do so with the support of people around them. You can't get support of everyone around you, if you have a melt down because they hurt your feelings... and again.... everyone hurts people's feelings at some point.

This is life man. Human beings are a fallen people..... we all say things that 10 minutes later, we think "I was a total idiot"... I've had that phrase go through my head hundreds of times.

So I am just thinking that you need to sit down somewhere, and determine just how 'sensitive' you want to be going forward, and figure out how you want to live your life.

If you want to be an isolated person, hiding by yourself alone in an apartment for life.... then go for it. But if you want to not be a hobbit, then how are you going to handle this?

Because I can say from personal experience where I work right, everyone knows who the sensitive people are. And they avoid them. They won't lose their jobs, no. But they are not being promoted either. Who wants to work with someone, that you never know when a tiny 'perceived' slight, will cause a melt down?