Is it wrong to want more in life?

[seeker2122]

I feel guilty and like a bad person for wanting more in life.
I know that we should just be thankful to God under all circumstances and
if I have a warm bed to sleep in, food on the table, a decent job, a couple
parents who love me, and a pretty average life living in a first world nation
quality of life, no wars.......I know I should just be thankful that I have this which is probably
more than 75% of the world.

But why do I feel like it's not enough. I feel guilty for feeling this way and desiring
more in my life and it's not just wanting more materials, money, dream job etc.,
but even just wanting friends, relationship, love....it's like that's asking for too much
and I'm a bad person guilty to even think and desire for such things as to have good friends,
good community, loving relationships.


I realize that when you lose your health and then get it back, it feels like the most amazing thing
ever. To just wake up painfree, with energy, and normal functions all back...you feel so amazing
and like that's all you just be content with in life...just to be healthy. Of course that is wonderful
and who wouldn't want to have good health? We take it for granted probably more than anything
else in life.

But do I just say...."Ok, I choose not to strive for anything more, I choose not to dream bigger,
follow my pipe dreams because that's selfish. Let me just live because I have health, and food
and a bed to sleep in. That should be good enough for my life and if I want anything more than
that, I must be a really selfish awful person."

 

[HTacianas]

I feel guilty and like a bad person for wanting more in life.
I know that we should just be thankful to God under all circumstances and
if I have a warm bed to sleep in, food on the table, a decent job, a couple
parents who love me, and a pretty average life living in a first world nation
quality of life, no wars.......I know I should just be thankful that I have this which is probably
more than 75% of the world.

But why do I feel like it's not enough. I feel guilty for feeling this way and desiring
more in my life and it's not just wanting more materials, money, dream job etc.,
but even just wanting friends, relationship, love....it's like that's asking for too much
and I'm a bad person guilty to even think and desire for such things as to have good friends,
good community, loving relationships.


I realize that when you lose your health and then get it back, it feels like the most amazing thing
ever. To just wake up painfree, with energy, and normal functions all back...you feel so amazing
and like that's all you just be content with in life...just to be healthy. Of course that is wonderful
and who wouldn't want to have good health? We take it for granted probably more than anything
else in life.

But do I just say...."Ok, I choose not to strive for anything more, I choose not to dream bigger,
follow my pipe dreams because that's selfish. Let me just live because I have health, and food
and a bed to sleep in. That should be good enough for my life and if I want anything more than
that, I must be a really selfish awful person."

No,it's not wrong to want more out of life. But it does depend on what it is and how you go about getting it. James spoke about it:

Jas 4:13 - Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will[fn] go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”;

Jas 4:15 - Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.”

 

[NBB]

God has what you want, and is not material stuff, and it should not be more friends and family, you need His spirit, his presence, to be filled with the Holy spirit, and go new spiritual heights.

 

[tdidymas]

I feel guilty and like a bad person for wanting more in life.
I know that we should just be thankful to God under all circumstances and
if I have a warm bed to sleep in, food on the table, a decent job, a couple
parents who love me, and a pretty average life living in a first world nation
quality of life, no wars.......I know I should just be thankful that I have this which is probably
more than 75% of the world.

But why do I feel like it's not enough. I feel guilty for feeling this way and desiring
more in my life and it's not just wanting more materials, money, dream job etc.,
but even just wanting friends, relationship, love....it's like that's asking for too much
and I'm a bad person guilty to even think and desire for such things as to have good friends,
good community, loving relationships.


I realize that when you lose your health and then get it back, it feels like the most amazing thing
ever. To just wake up painfree, with energy, and normal functions all back...you feel so amazing
and like that's all you just be content with in life...just to be healthy. Of course that is wonderful
and who wouldn't want to have good health? We take it for granted probably more than anything
else in life.

But do I just say...."Ok, I choose not to strive for anything more, I choose not to dream bigger,
follow my pipe dreams because that's selfish. Let me just live because I have health, and food
and a bed to sleep in. That should be good enough for my life and if I want anything more than
that, I must be a really selfish awful person."

Wanting more is not wrong of itself. Did not Jesus want more from the Jews? Was He not wanting more in life when He prayed "if it be Thy will, let this cup pass from Me"? And the answer to resisting the temptation to make the "wanting more" an obsession, addiction, or idol, we resolve with Jesus, "Not my will, but Thine be done."

Don't we also want more energy and resources by which to be generous and help others? Do we not want more of God to bear the fruit of the Spirit for others, and to love others better? So, it's the purpose and agenda of the wanting more that makes it either a sinful or godly desire. It's what we do with the desire that makes it either pleasing to God or an abomination. When we trust God continually to help us do His will, this is what pleases God, our desires then conform to His will, and we can't go wrong with that.

 

[Joseph G]

Psalm 37:3-4 NIV

"Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart."

 

[seeker2122]

Wanting more is not wrong of itself. Did not Jesus want more from the Jews? Was He not wanting more in life when He prayed "if it be Thy will, let this cup pass from Me"? And the answer to resisting the temptation to make the "wanting more" an obsession, addiction, or idol, we resolve with Jesus, "Not my will, but Thine be done."

Don't we also want more energy and resources by which to be generous and help others? Do we not want more of God to bear the fruit of the Spirit for others, and to love others better? So, it's the purpose and agenda of the wanting more that makes it either a sinful or godly desire. It's what we do with the desire that makes it either pleasing to God or an abomination. When we trust God continually to help us do His will, this is what pleases God, our desires then conform to His will, and we can't go wrong with that.

Agreed. But realistically, most Christians don't just want "God's Will" and for spiritual things. Christians want a bigger or better or a newer home. Is that wrong? Christians also want to travel, see new places and experiences....is that wrong to want those instead of just saving all that money and spend it on offering and church missions? The truth is, most Christians do save up money for personal things they desire in this life. I don't know a single Christian other than Jesus who truly didn't want anything else in life except for God's will to be done. People want nicer cars, newer cars...why not just keep your 15 year old car that still works? To desire something new and better...is that not a sin because it's not anything to do with God's Kingdom unless God's Will was for you to get a new car and a better car even though you really didn't need it right now.

If Christians decide to spend more on expensive foods when they go out, isn't that wanting/desiring more than what you really need? We could all do just fine eating plain rice, vegetables, bread....but why spend $100 on a dinner because you want Lobster and Prime Steak? Is that a sin? Unless God wills it to allow us to have $100 plate just for this one time?

When you buy clothes, do you really need new clothes? Probably not. You can just keep wearing the same old clothes that's still good but we desire to for new fashions, new trends etc. How many Christians out there can say they haven't changed their smartphones in 5 years? Most probably upgrade their phone every year or 2 to keep getting the newest and latest iphone or samsung. Isn't that a sin then for wanting to always get a new phone unless that is God's will for you to get one?

Where do you draw the line? I feel like we all want more even if we say we only want or only need Jesus. Then why live in such a big house? Why have "another car"? Why buy new clothes every year? Why upgrade your phone constantly instead of just using the one you have for at least 3 or 4 years before upgrading? Why spend a few grand to travel to Europe or some historic places to sight see instead of spending that money on missions or donating to the poor?

 

[trophy33]

It may or may not be wrong, depending on the context.

For example, if somebody is married but wants "more" (meaning being unfaithful), its wrong.

If somebody has, for example, small children he should take care of, but wants "more" and leave them, its wrong.

On the other hand, if somebody lives, for example, in a bad neighborhood where he does not feel safe, its not wrong to want more and to move.

In short, if its ethical and useful, go for it, if you want.

 

[bèlla]

I'm uncertain of the respondents but I dealt with an incurable disease in the past and the discomfort that followed. When the Lord removed the condition and my health was restored it felt like a new lease on life. Much was set aside and I had to find new dreams and get acclimated with better mobility and I did it one step at a time.

I encourage you to steep your mind in prayer and gratitude. It does wonders for the spirit and countenance. There are instances when the Lord asks me what I want during my quiet time. I don't ask for much and most of my requests are related to my calling or intercession. That's why He does it. I'm focused on the Kingdom and He delights in blessing me.

That isn't limited to the material. He gives me favor and plenty in many areas. I'm not afraid to share my wants and He knows them anyway! On many occasions He tells me what to pray to bring about the things He wants on my behalf and they've come to past.

Rest in the certainty of His love and draw richly from the depths of connection available. The greater your fellowship the clearer things become. You won't be fraught with uncertainty or fear. You'll begin to live and thrive as He intended. That's only possible with togetherness. Make that your priority and the rest will fall in place.

In the meantime, peruse this site. You'll find much fruit and your spirit will be quenched. God Bless and good luck!

~bella

 

[com7fy8]

Agreed. But realistically, most Christians don't just want "God's Will" and for spiritual things. Christians want a bigger or better or a newer home. Is that wrong? Christians also want to travel, see new places and experiences....is that wrong to want those instead of just saving all that money and spend it on offering and church missions? The truth is, most Christians do save up money for personal things they desire in this life. I don't know a single Christian other than Jesus who truly didn't want anything else in life except for God's will to be done.

God's word does say,

"be content with such things as you have,"

in Hebrews 13:5.

This does not mean for me to spend a lot of time paying attention to all the people who are heaping things for themselves! It means for our attention to be to God and sharing with His obedient children who are satisfied with Jesus and in God's love so perfectly satisfying.

Plus . . . in our Creator's love we have His creativity for what to do, at all times, making us creative for how to love each person. And we use what we do have, to love these different people.

We are always satisfied while loving the way God has us loving. But I get in problems inside myself and need correction so I can get back into loving in sharing with God: He is not boring, at all, but He is quiet and gentle and humble but very alive in compassion and willingness to share . . . and confront me whenever my attention goes wrong.

Wrong attention can have me looking at the people who keep their millions and who are just living their convenient lives. And I can tattle-tale to myself about all the wrong stuff and pride myself in being expert in knowledge of good and evil of this world, so I can look down on wrong people and not have hope for them.

Love "hopes all things," we have in 1 Corinthians 13:7.

It can be quite easy to get info about what worldly people are doing, and this can keep our attention away from how God would guide our attention and share with us. Any scripture can be used by God to help us grow in Jesus and find out how to love.

 

[Richard T]

I would think you have a whole in your heart because God put it there. Like someone who is called into ministry but never takes the time to get things moving. Could be there are things God wants to fill up in you and you just need a bigger spark. I under-achieved for years. It got so critical that I quit my job and to a large extent started another phase in life. I pray you can diagnose your condition correctly. I used to think that i was just in a waiting patiently phase, but now more on the other side of doing stuff, it was God waiting on me, rather than me waiting on God.

 

[tdidymas]

Agreed. But realistically, most Christians don't just want "God's Will" and for spiritual things. Christians want a bigger or better or a newer home. Is that wrong? Christians also want to travel, see new places and experiences....is that wrong to want those instead of just saving all that money and spend it on offering and church missions? The truth is, most Christians do save up money for personal things they desire in this life. I don't know a single Christian other than Jesus who truly didn't want anything else in life except for God's will to be done. People want nicer cars, newer cars...why not just keep your 15 year old car that still works? To desire something new and better...is that not a sin because it's not anything to do with God's Kingdom unless God's Will was for you to get a new car and a better car even though you really didn't need it right now.

If Christians decide to spend more on expensive foods when they go out, isn't that wanting/desiring more than what you really need? We could all do just fine eating plain rice, vegetables, bread....but why spend $100 on a dinner because you want Lobster and Prime Steak? Is that a sin? Unless God wills it to allow us to have $100 plate just for this one time?

When you buy clothes, do you really need new clothes? Probably not. You can just keep wearing the same old clothes that's still good but we desire to for new fashions, new trends etc. How many Christians out there can say they haven't changed their smartphones in 5 years? Most probably upgrade their phone every year or 2 to keep getting the newest and latest iphone or samsung. Isn't that a sin then for wanting to always get a new phone unless that is God's will for you to get one?

Where do you draw the line? I feel like we all want more even if we say we only want or only need Jesus. Then why live in such a big house? Why have "another car"? Why buy new clothes every year? Why upgrade your phone constantly instead of just using the one you have for at least 3 or 4 years before upgrading? Why spend a few grand to travel to Europe or some historic places to sight see instead of spending that money on missions or donating to the poor?

I have a 15 year old car that still works quite well, and have no plan to get a new one any time soon. I eat in restaurants twice per week, but I fellowship with people who aren't millionaires, so we try to keep our costs low. This is not "God's Will" decisions, but they are WISE decisions. If I make a wise decision which benefits me (and possibly others), who says that God willed it, and I'm just obeying Him in the matter (although I do try to do God's will in my decisions in life)? But if I make a poor decision that doesn't benefit me or others (in my perception), who is to say that wasn't God's will for me to make it? "God causes all things to work together for good for those who love Him, who are the called according to His purpose" (Rom. 8:28). As long as I am making sure that my decisions don't violate God's clear moral commands, who is to say that any decision I make is not God's will? It then becomes a matter of opinion. "Let each one be convinced in their own mind" - referring to giving of goods, but I'm applying it more generally. I try not to strain at gnats and swallow camels.

 

[com7fy8]

But why do I feel like it's not enough. I feel guilty for feeling this way and desiring
more in my life and it's not just wanting more materials, money, dream job etc.,
but even just wanting friends, relationship, love....it's like that's asking for too much
and I'm a bad person guilty to even think and desire for such things as to have good friends,
good community, loving relationships.

Well, God wants us to have loving relationships. And it is good that we want loving and not only material prosperity.

We have "be content with such things as you have" in Hebrews 13:5.

But also, we have that God "gives us richly all things to enjoy," in 1 Timothy 6:17.

You don't have to own something in order to enjoy it.

And if we are loving, we care about others as our own selves, so we can enjoy how others are blessed with nice things and special relationships.

Because in loving others as ourselves, someone else getting a good thing is as good as if we get it ourselves.

And if someone else has a doggie, you can enjoy that sweet cute little creature without paying the bills!

 

[Reasonably Sane]

I feel guilty and like a bad person for wanting more in life.
I know that we should just be thankful to God under all circumstances and
if I have a warm bed to sleep in, food on the table, a decent job, a couple
parents who love me, and a pretty average life living in a first world nation
quality of life, no wars.......I know I should just be thankful that I have this which is probably
more than 75% of the world.

But why do I feel like it's not enough. I feel guilty for feeling this way and desiring
more in my life and it's not just wanting more materials, money, dream job etc.,
but even just wanting friends, relationship, love....it's like that's asking for too much
and I'm a bad person guilty to even think and desire for such things as to have good friends,
good community, loving relationships.


I realize that when you lose your health and then get it back, it feels like the most amazing thing
ever. To just wake up painfree, with energy, and normal functions all back...you feel so amazing
and like that's all you just be content with in life...just to be healthy. Of course that is wonderful
and who wouldn't want to have good health? We take it for granted probably more than anything
else in life.

But do I just say...."Ok, I choose not to strive for anything more, I choose not to dream bigger,
follow my pipe dreams because that's selfish. Let me just live because I have health, and food
and a bed to sleep in. That should be good enough for my life and if I want anything more than
that, I must be a really selfish awful person."

Answer: Nope.

And guilt is, IMO, a form of sin. Conviction, on the other hand...

That being said, sometimes what you want is sin. i.e. a guy that has a goal of having sex with a lot of women would have a sinful goal.

We are designed to have desires. The key is having the RIGHT desires. All of human activity comes from either a desire for something good or fear of something bad. Christians should not live in fear. Heck, that's one reason I don't buy ECT (Eternal CONSCIOUS torment in hell for the lost). If you are coming to the Lord out of fear of hell, you're doing it wrong.

 

[seeker2122]

Answer: Nope.

And guilt is, IMO, a form of sin. Conviction, on the other hand...

That being said, sometimes what you want is sin. i.e. a guy that has a goal of having sex with a lot of women would have a sinful goal.

We are designed to have desires. The key is having the RIGHT desires. All of human activity comes from either a desire for something good or fear of something bad. Christians should not live in fear. Heck, that's one reason I don't buy ECT (Eternal CONSCIOUS torment in hell for the lost). If you are coming to the Lord out of fear of hell, you're doing it wrong.

I like what you said about "if you are coming to the Lord out of fear of hell, you're doing it wrong". I agree about that for sure. To believe in Jesus because you fear hell, rather than to believe in Jesus because you have faith and love him in an real and intimate relationship with him are two totally different things I think.

 

[seeker2122]

I would think you have a whole in your heart because God put it there. Like someone who is called into ministry but never takes the time to get things moving. Could be there are things God wants to fill up in you and you just need a bigger spark. I under-achieved for years. It got so critical that I quit my job and to a large extent started another phase in life. I pray you can diagnose your condition correctly. I used to think that i was just in a waiting patiently phase, but now more on the other side of doing stuff, it was God waiting on me, rather than me waiting on God.
View attachment 344101

Hmm very interesting. God waiting on me? Does God actually wait on anyone since he already knows what the outcome will be? People wait on God but I wonder about the other way around. Is it possible to shock or amaze God even though he foreknew everything you will or won't do? I am aware of the biblical Greek word Thaumazou which was used a few times, when the Centurion's faith marveled Jesus. Jesus/God was actually amazed/marveled/shocked by the centurion's faith. Wow. This might indicate that God can be surprised sort of....shocked, amazed, marveled..... but I wonder how this can be? Can God actually wait on you or isn't He always working and doing things to provide opportunities for you to respond to call of faith? Does he just do one thing and then sit back and expect you to figure it out and make the right choices without more of his help? Does God wait? Can he even do such a thing since he is beyond time and waiting is an action that occurs within time. Therefore if God is outside of time and all things are known to him, how is waiting actually possible?

 

[Richard T]

Hmm very interesting. God waiting on me? Does God actually wait on anyone since he already knows what the outcome will be? People wait on God but I wonder about the other way around. Is it possible to shock or amaze God even though he foreknew everything you will or won't do? I am aware of the biblical Greek word Thaumazou which was used a few times, when the Centurion's faith marveled Jesus. Jesus/God was actually amazed/marveled/shocked by the centurion's faith. Wow. This might indicate that God can be surprised sort of....shocked, amazed, marveled..... but I wonder how this can be? Can God actually wait on you or isn't He always working and doing things to provide opportunities for you to respond to call of faith? Does he just do one thing and then sit back and expect you to figure it out and make the right choices without more of his help? Does God wait? Can he even do such a thing since he is beyond time and waiting is an action that occurs within time. Therefore if God is outside of time and all things are known to him, how is waiting actually possible?

You are right I used the word wait too loosely, He is not caught by surprise, but he does seem to still give choices. "Choose this day whom you will serve" in Joshua is one example. I guess my thoughts are more around James, where the "effective prayer of a righteous man availeth much." We lack because sometimes we do not pray, we want more of God we can choose to be slack or fervent. I doubt this scripture applies to you but it has applied to me in my past.
Eph 5:14 Therefore it says awake, O sleeper,and arise from the dead,and Christ will shine on you.” Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wismaking the best use of the time, because qthe days are evil.

 

[tdidymas]

You are right I used the word wait too loosely, He is not caught by surprise, but he does seem to still give choices. "Choose this day whom you will serve" in Joshua is one example. I guess my thoughts are more around James, where the "effective prayer of a righteous man availeth much." We lack because sometimes we do not pray, we want more of God we can choose to be slack or fervent. I doubt this scripture applies to you but it has applied to me in my past.
Eph 5:14 Therefore it says awake, O sleeper,and arise from the dead,and Christ will shine on you.” Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wismaking the best use of the time, because qthe days are evil.

You could also use 2 Pet. 3:9, that God is waiting for people to repent, since this is written to the churches (ref. 2 Pet 1:1).