What is Wrong With Hurt Feelings

LoricaLady

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Another issue is that you need healing from the hurt, and the resentment we so often feel when others don't treat us right. Really, that is the big issue. Until you get that, maybe nothing else may help much. I can't advise on what will help you there, but the Holy Spirit can. I do wonder about some kind of therapeutic group with others who have been abused - and in your case, maybe bullied - though. Maybe you could make some fiends, there, too.
 
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Introverted1293

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Of course there is nothing wrong with being a very sensitive guy. But, now, honestly, aren't you kinda shielding yourself like a turtle in a shell to keep from being hurt, by only interacting with others when you have to? The shell is the problem, not the sensitive feelings. You have been very hurt in the past, from what I have gathered in your other posts. So, that shell has been built up. But you ain't a turtle! ;) Shells are great for turtles, not always so great for people.

Maybe you could practice, as they say, "coming out of your shell" a bit more here and there. What is also said is "by the yard it's hard, but by the inch it's a cinch" I just don't believe you want to live in that shell forever.

Thank you very much. This was helpful. And thank you for your compassion.
 
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Introverted1293

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Another issue is that you need healing from the hurt, and the resentment we so often feel when others don't treat us right. Really, that is the big issue. Until you get that, maybe nothing else may help much. I can't advise on what will help you there, but the Holy Spirit can. I do wonder about some kind of therapeutic group with others who have been abused - and in your case, maybe bullied - though. Maybe you could make some fiends, there, too.

I can check that out. And again thank you for your compassion and understanding.
 
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AnnaDeborah

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I used to get very easily upset and hurt by other people - it's still a weak point of mine, but I am getting better. What helped was concentrating on Jesus and how He sees me instead of on what other people think. Hebrews 12 tells us to run the race 'fixing our eyes on Jesus'. If we keep looking to Him, we will be less upset by what others think of us because Jesus' is the only opinion that matters. And we start to care more for others instead of ourselves because that is what Jesus would have us do.

It's not easy, and I know I still have a long way to go, but when I look back at how I used to be, I can see that He is changing me.
 
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Introverted1293

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I used to get very easily upset and hurt by other people - it's still a weak point of mine, but I am getting better. What helped was concentrating on Jesus and how He sees me instead of on what other people think. Hebrews 12 tells us to run the race 'fixing our eyes on Jesus'. If we keep looking to Him, we will be less upset by what others think of us because Jesus' is the only opinion that matters. And we start to care more for others instead of ourselves because that is what Jesus would have us do.

It's not easy, and I know I still have a long way to go, but when I look back at how I used to be, I can see that He is changing me.

Thank you very much. I am glad for the change. I want that too.
 
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NW82

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I suppose it depends on what you're offended by. If it's someone blaspheming then I don't see a problem. If your discussing a topic, immigration for example, and you get offended then you have a problem....because more often than not in the current societal context disagreement means you hate someone, which is totally wrong.
 
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Go Braves

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Well I don't think there's anything wrong with having hurt feelings. It just has to do with proportions. Being hurt for a little while after you've been stung, well that's fine. Staying hurt over something is going to cause more hurt for yourself. Let God's word heal your heart so you can move on.
 
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drich0150

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I am a very sensitive guy. My feeling get hurt really easily. I OWN THAT. I know that most people will never admit that, or that being sensitive make me week to a lot of people. But it is who I am.

What is wrong with being really sensitive? I am not going kill myself because my feelings were hurt. I am not going to attack the person that offended me. I may pretend that person doesn't exist any more, which is not a punishment toward him for it is not easy relating to me anyways. And I will move on from my hurt feelings.

I have had people try to be friends with me, but I tell them the truth that it is not easy being friends with me. But sometimes they try anyways, and I just can't. Why? Because I am taking a risk.

But my sensitivity hasn't affected my professional life. I will still do my job, even if I have to work with somebody. But I keep it professional. I don't care about his or her personal life. If my grade depends on working with somebody, then so be it. If that person hates me and shows it, my feelings will be hurt, but I will survive and get over it.

Conservatives act like as though hurt feelings make a person week. I don't see anything wrong with them. I was told that it is arrogant to have hurt feelings. How?

I know I am sensitive and I own that. It is who I am. And yes, it makes it hard for me to make friends as a result. But I am still surviving.

What is wrong with being overly sensitive? Don't we have the right to feel what we feel? People act like as though there is something wrong with that.

I am not a tough guy with thick skin. I am quiet and I keep to myself these days, except if I have to work with somebody and my grade depends on it.

Be blunt and don't worry about hurting my feelings. I asked.
I used to be like you.
and remember you asked.

No body wants to hang around a cry baby. why? usually an indicator of low self esteem. low self esteem means work. friends should not be made to work just to exist in a room with you.

It not you per say it is what you represent, lot of investment in time and in things people outside of yourself should NOT have to handel. That is why you've been told someone can't love you till you learn to love yourself first.

no one wants to be incharge of filling your tank when life makes it hard to fill their own. there are people who will take you step by step but you gotta to pay them. (doctors consluers ect.) But you don't seem like you want that yet.

You need to set goals and try and obtain small victories to build yourself up. 1st thing get out of the f-ing house! and find something you like to do that involves other people. Start at the beginning ground level and slowly work your way up. get good at something which feeds you ID with self esteem, enough so the people around you do not have to carry you emotionally.

Again just a basic outline based on the things you mentioned coupled with my own experience.

Cars bowling video games fishing then WORK are some of the little things that got me out of the house. I learned how to do those things and it helped me put myself together. You got to find something that requires you to get up and get dressed and function, then make yourself get good at it.
 
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Introverted1293

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I used to be like you.
and remember you asked.

No body wants to hang around a cry baby. why? usually an indicator of low self esteem. low self esteem means work. friends should not be made to work just to exist in a room with you.

It not you per say it is what you represent, lot of investment in time and in things people outside of yourself should NOT have to handel. That is why you've been told someone can't love you till you learn to love yourself first.

no one wants to be incharge of filling your tank when life makes it hard to fill their own. there are people who will take you step by step but you gotta to pay them. (doctors consluers ect.) But you don't seem like you want that yet.

You need to set goals and try and obtain small victories to build yourself up. 1st thing get out of the f-ing house! and find something you like to do that involves other people. Start at the beginning ground level and slowly work your way up. get good at something which feeds you ID with self esteem, enough so the people around you do not have to carry you emotionally.

Again just a basic outline based on the things you mentioned coupled with my own experience.

Cars bowling video games fishing then WORK are some of the little things that got me out of the house. I learned how to do those things and it helped me put myself together. You got to find something that requires you to get up and get dressed and function, then make yourself get good at it.

Thank you. And yes, I did ask. And thank you for the advice, and your bluntness. There are several things I can do to get out of the house. Thank you
 
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Introverted1293

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Well I don't think there's anything wrong with having hurt feelings. It just has to do with proportions. Being hurt for a little while after you've been stung, well that's fine. Staying hurt over something is going to cause more hurt for yourself. Let God's word heal your heart so you can move on.


Yes, I understand. I only hurt myself if I let things fester. Thank you
 
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Introverted1293

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I suppose it depends on what you're offended by. If it's someone blaspheming then I don't see a problem. If your discussing a topic, immigration for example, and you get offended then you have a problem....because more often than not in the current societal context disagreement means you hate someone, which is totally wrong.

It is wrong. I don't get offended about immigration. But I sometimes get offended by people who disagree with me. And I agree that is not right.
 
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drich0150

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Thank you. And yes, I did ask. And thank you for the advice, and your bluntness. There are several things I can do to get out of the house. Thank you
Again I've been there in like a 3 year funk. my friends and everyone grew up faster than I did and they left me.. took a few years to get on my feet, but when I did I still fought with depression but I came into my own. and because of the time I spent on the bottom I no longer fear it nor is there anything I can't work though/I am much stronger because of it, and as a result can take on extra stuff when I need to which helps when you get married. which will happen if you just get out of the house and stop think about how bad things are. find something get good at it make friends around it and they will help you build yourself up. don't dewell on what you can't control work with what you can till everything comes together.

Don't forget prayer, but at the same time don't think it is a magic fix. God is pushing you in a new direction and seen it fit to remove all of your comfort or your go to items to get you moving in this direction. when you get going he will reward you with what you are looking for/need
 
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fat wee robin

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I am a very sensitive guy. My feeling get hurt really easily. I OWN THAT. I know that most people will never admit that, or that being sensitive make me week to a lot of people. But it is who I am.

What is wrong with being really sensitive? I am not going kill myself because my feelings were hurt. I am not going to attack the person that offended me. I may pretend that person doesn't exist any more, which is not a punishment toward him for it is not easy relating to me anyways. And I will move on from my hurt feelings.

I have had people try to be friends with me, but I tell them the truth that it is not easy being friends with me. But sometimes they try anyways, and I just can't. Why? Because I am taking a risk.

But my sensitivity hasn't affected my professional life. I will still do my job, even if I have to work with somebody. But I keep it professional. I don't care about his or her personal life. If my grade depends on working with somebody, then so be it. If that person hates me and shows it, my feelings will be hurt, but I will survive and get over it.

Conservatives act like as though hurt feelings make a person week. I don't see anything wrong with them. I was told that it is arrogant to have hurt feelings. How?

I know I am sensitive and I own that. It is who I am. And yes, it makes it hard for me to make friends as a result. But I am still surviving.

What is wrong with being overly sensitive? Don't we have the right to feel what we feel? People act like as though there is something wrong with that.

I am not a tough guy with thick skin. I am quiet and I keep to myself these days, except if I have to work with somebody and my grade depends on it.

Be blunt and don't worry about hurting my feelings. I asked.
You sound like a really intelligent person ,both emotionally and intellectually
and not weak at all . Yes, there are those who pretend to be strong all the time , but it is an act .
 
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fat wee robin

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It is wrong. I don't get offended about immigration. But I sometimes get offended by people who disagree with me. And I agree that is not right.
Maybe you grew up as I did being bullied and threatened by so called christians ,and this made me more combative ,when the rulling class tell lies about you too .
 
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Maybe you grew up as I did being bullied and threatened by so called christians ,and this made me more combative ,when the rulling class tell lies about you too .

I didn't become combative; I became depressed. I learned though that Christians shouldn't be hurting other people with their words. This has caused me to try to be gentle and encouraging with my words. That is a lesson that's a blessing!

Psalm 57
4 My soul is among lions: and I lie even among them that are set on fire, even the sons of men, whose teeth are spears and arrows, and their tongue a sharp sword.

Proverbs 12
18 There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health...

25 Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.

Proverbs 15
1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
2 The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness...
4 A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.

The following (Matthew 12) reminds me that we can't expect good words from non-Christians. And if Christians use harsh words, pray for them.

Matthew 12
34 O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. 35 A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things.

Ephesians 4
29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. 30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.


James 1
26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.


James 3
1 My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation. 2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. 3 Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body. 4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. 5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. 7 For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: 8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. 9 Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. 10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. 11 Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? 12 Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.

I'm not perfect --- that's for sure. But I'm praying for guidance with my speech.

Psalm 19
14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.

May God bless you, Introverted, as you bless others!
 
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I'm exactly like the OP. It also bothers me when the word "trigger" is used as a pejorative term against those whose feelings get hurt easily. Maybe things have become too politicized and that's why some people are irritated when others get offended on the smallest thing, but there was a time where the word "trigger" was a legitimate term used to describe people who experienced a severely negative reaction to something beyond their control.
 
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Alithis

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I am a very sensitive guy. My feeling get hurt really easily. I OWN THAT. I know that most people will never admit that, or that being sensitive make me week to a lot of people. But it is who I am.

What is wrong with being really sensitive? I am not going kill myself because my feelings were hurt. I am not going to attack the person that offended me. I may pretend that person doesn't exist any more, which is not a punishment toward him for it is not easy relating to me anyways. And I will move on from my hurt feelings.

I have had people try to be friends with me, but I tell them the truth that it is not easy being friends with me. But sometimes they try anyways, and I just can't. Why? Because I am taking a risk.

But my sensitivity hasn't affected my professional life. I will still do my job, even if I have to work with somebody. But I keep it professional. I don't care about his or her personal life. If my grade depends on working with somebody, then so be it. If that person hates me and shows it, my feelings will be hurt, but I will survive and get over it.

Conservatives act like as though hurt feelings make a person week. I don't see anything wrong with them. I was told that it is arrogant to have hurt feelings. How?

I know I am sensitive and I own that. It is who I am. And yes, it makes it hard for me to make friends as a result. But I am still surviving.

What is wrong with being overly sensitive? Don't we have the right to feel what we feel? People act like as though there is something wrong with that.

I am not a tough guy with thick skin. I am quiet and I keep to myself these days, except if I have to work with somebody and my grade depends on it.

Be blunt and don't worry about hurting my feelings. I asked.
Oscar replied well to you in regard to what to do with hurt feelings .
the question i want to address is "why" your feelings are hurt so easily .
AND the answer is more then a little uncomfortable .
hurt feelings are simply offence.. you are easily offended .

this is why we must die in Christ through baptism laying OUR life down to live in his life . then we do not matter to self any more .dead men cannot be offended .and people alive in Christ easily forgive. :)

die to self and forgive
 
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