Singles room

[DragonFox91]

If there's 5 girls & 5 guys & the 5 girls are focused on the 1 guy & the 4 other guys attempts all result in little other feedback, then that is the girls' problem too b/c the 1 guy can choose only 1 of them.

 

[trophy33]

It's not vague feelings. & if that's what I have to do because I can't, it's not happening, sorry.

If its not happening, good for you, you saved yourself a huge portion of stress, drama and worries. Give thanks to God and enjoy your life full of freedom.

 

[trophy33]

If there's 5 girls & 5 guys & the 5 girls are focused on the 1 guy & the 4 other guys attempts all result in empty stares, then that is the girls' problem too b/c the guy can choose only 1 of them.

Why would you want one of such girls, anyway?

 

[DragonFox91]

Why would you want one of such girls, anyway?

I don't. I moved on from groups like that. So now I rarely meet single girls at all unfortuantely.

If its not happening, good for you, you saved yourself a huge portion of stress, drama and worries. Give thanks to God and enjoy your life full of freedom.

No, you're not supposed to be free. You're supposed to give back. The single life is selfish. There's nothing wrong w/ some stress & worries. I don't want to be a coward about it.

 

[DragonFox91]

I think it's pretty ridiculuous to try to convince people they should't date or get married because 'there's no good reason.' I have good friends & family too. Would you try telling someone without good friends or family who want good friends or family they shouldn't? Of course not. So there's nothing wrong at all with someone desiring to date & get married.

This isn't a 'I want to date & marry you even though you barely know me' situation. I'm saying I want to find the right compatible person. & there's nothing wrong at all w/ desiring someone who's right & compatible.

 

[trophy33]

I don't. I moved on from groups like that. So now I rarely meet single girls at all unfortuantely.

Or, fortunately.

The single life is selfish.

Thats nonsense. Single life gives you time and resources. What you do with them is on you. You do not have to be bound to a specific woman to be useful to others.

 

[trophy33]

I think it's pretty ridiculuous to try to convince people they should't date or get married because 'there's no good reason.' I have good friends & family too. Would you try telling someone without good friends or family who want good friends or family they shouldn't? Of course not. So there's nothing wrong at all with someone desiring to date & get married.

This isn't a 'I want to date & marry you even though you barely know me' situation. I'm saying I want to find the right compatible person. & there's nothing wrong at all w/ desiring someone who's right & compatible.

If you are not happy with your solitude, you will not be happy with others. And, you will not be attractive to others. So, you got yourself in a vicious circle, if you need others to be happy.

What I am telling you is to exit this circle and to change your thinking. And if some women are reading this, they will maybe confirm that the most desirable men are those who do not need them.

 

[DragonFox91]

If you are not happy with your solitude, you will not be happy with others. And, you will not be attractive to others. So, you got yourself in a vicious circle, if you need others to be happy.

What I am telling you is to exit this circle and to change your thinking. And if some women are reading this, they maybe confirm that the most desirable men are those who do not need them.

I can buy this.

 

[trophy33]

I can buy this.

Also, make sure you are living a fulfilling life now (or make the changes required for that), do not wait for the future or for some woman to help you with that.

Indeed, there is always some area to level up in, but you should be able to arrange your life (being in 30's) to be already content and happy with it.

 

[DragonFox91]

I can understand needing to learn how to be content single b/c you are single. But it seems contradictory to me when people tell me you'll never be happy married if you're not happy being single:
If you're happy being single, there's no point in getting married. All these people who got married wouldn't have if they liked being single. Me who's been single their whole life knows how to be content single more than someone who got married at 22 or 18 did.
I've been very content the past 5 months. What did it get me? Nada. If anything being content hurts my chances getting married because I'm less likely to work for it. I'm less likely to want it. If I don't want it, I'm not going to pursue it. If someone doesn't work towards their dream, they're not going to get it. To me saying not to worry about it is the equivalent of saying give up.

 

[angelsaroundme]

In the modern world anything that looks like desperation or clinginess will be a turn off for a lot of women. I think it's probably true as well that women are increasingly avoiding men that seem emotionally unstable. More or less, woman want a man that can be their "rock", strong and reliable. Some women may value humor more than others, or have different hobbies, etc. but it seems the most consistent thing they value is confidence.

 

[trophy33]

I can understand needing to learn how to be content single b/c you are single. But it seems contradictory to me when people tell me you'll never be happy married if you're not happy being single: If you're happy being single, there's no point in getting married.
All these people who got married wouldn't have if they liked being single. Me who's been single their whole life knows how to be content single more than someone who got married at 22 or 18 did.
I've been very content the past 5 months. What did it get me? Nada. If anything being content hurts my chances getting married because I'm less likely to work for it. I'm less likely to want it. If I don't want it, I'm not going to pursue it. If someone doesn't work towards their dream, they're not going to get it. To me saying not to worry about it is the equivalent of saying give up.

I do not think that its just marriage as such that you want. Or else you can certainly marry with someone who is not a good marriage material, but wants to be married too. So, I guess you have some standards and you do not know any woman who both meets those standards and is interested in you.

Why to be content being single? Because we are born single, its our natural state. If you are not content with your natural state, you have a problem.

Build yourself up, your life, strength, mental state, career, hobbies, move to place you want to live in, have a purpose in your life, achieve success in various areas. If some attractive and good woman will want to join your successful journey and help you with it, fine, if not, fine too. But do not center your life around it and do not wait for it.

 

[Citanul]

I can understand needing to learn how to be content single b/c you are single. But it seems contradictory to me when people tell me you'll never be happy married if you're not happy being single:
If you're happy being single, there's no point in getting married. All these people who got married wouldn't have if they liked being single. Me who's been single their whole life knows how to be content single more than someone who got married at 22 or 18 did.
I've been very content the past 5 months. What did it get me? Nada. If anything being content hurts my chances getting married because I'm less likely to work for it. I'm less likely to want it. If I don't want it, I'm not going to pursue it. If someone doesn't work towards their dream, they're not going to get it. To me saying not to worry about it is the equivalent of saying give up.

I think the advice is meant to be that you should be a single person who is happy. You can still feel the lack of companionship and have a desire for it, but having the mindset that being married is what's going to make you happy is the wrong way to go about things.

 

[DragonFox91]

I do not think that its just marriage as such that you want. Or else you can certainly marry with someone who is not a good marriage material, but wants to be married too. So, I guess you have some standards and you do not know any woman who both meets those standards and is interested in you.

Why to be content being single? Because we are born single, its our natural state. If you are not content with your natural state, you have a problem.

Build yourself up, your life, strength, mental state, career, hobbies, move to place you want to live in, have a purpose in your life, achieve success in various areas. If some attractive and good woman will want to join your successful journey and help you with it, fine, if not, fine too. But do not center your life around it and do not wait for it.

Right! I want to find someone I'm compatible with of course.

 

[DragonFox91]

I feel like a failure. I made a BIG mistake this morning. I slept in too late. I can't make it to church. I can't even be late. I am in tears. It sialed by & I missed it. I am a failure. If I can't even make it to church for the morning, why on Earth should God expect me to be able to care for a wife. I can't even make a sacrifice to go to church for a morning, what'll I do when I have to sacrifice some time to care for a wife. I'll never be able to date & get married. I messed up. God can't trust me. A woman wouldn't be able to either. God knows this. I can't date & get married now.

 

[trophy33]

I feel like a failure. I made a BIG mistake this morning. I slept in too late. I can't make it to church. I can't even be late. I am in tears. It sialed by & I missed it. I am a failure. If I can't even make it to church for the morning, why on Earth should God expect me to be able to care for a wife. I can't even make a sacrifice to go to church for a morning, what'll I do when I have to sacrifice some time to care for a wife. I'll never be able to date & get married. I messed up. God can't trust me. A woman wouldn't be able to either. God knows this. I can't date & get married now.

This does not make any sense, its just some anxiety talk.

Find your masculinity, rebuild yourself physically, mentally and spiritually. Fix your diet, sleep and exercise. Go "a monk mode", if necessary.

 

[DragonFox91]

This does not make any sense, its just some anxiety talk.

Find your masculinity, rebuild yourself physically, mentally and spiritually. Fix your diet, sleep and exercise. Go "a monk mode", if necessary.

Why doesn't it make sense?

 

[trophy33]

Why doesn't it make sense?

Because its emotional, not rational.

 

[DragonFox91]

Because its emotional, not rational.

God expects me to go to church. God will expect me to do stuff for a woman. If I can't meet his expectations now, why should he think I can meet a woman's expectations?

 

[trophy33]

God expects me to go to church. God will expect me to do stuff for a woman. If I can't meet his expectations now, why should he think I can meet a woman's expectations?

Instead of swimming in emotions, create a rational plan for your change.