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Featured Single - how to find a partner?

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by blackhole, Jun 22, 2019.

  1. blessedintrovert

    blessedintrovert New Member

    58
    +30
    Non-Denom
    Private
    Please.
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2019
  2. dms1972

    dms1972 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +584
    Non-Denom
    Single
    I went through this in my early twenties. I'd never had a girl-friend. I started to talk about it in hopes of others maybe knowing someone who was looking to meet someone - that may work out sometimes, but it didn't for me at that time is all I can say. A few years later I placed a short personals advert in a local paper - that brought a few written replies. Met one girl for a month or two through it, but it didn't go anywhere - nice girl, but in recovery, and we were too far apart in other respects.

    Basically I am somewhat intellectual like yourself, but you should not think of that as a bad thing, all the same you need to be able to come down from those intellectual heights at times too - just depends on if you want to meet someone who can engage you on that level, but it might be better to meet a woman with a temperment that can compliment yours.

    Really I think making looking for someone your main concern is not always helpful, just get on with your life, develop your interests through outdoor pursuits, or in a church and be open to it happening. And if you find yourself chatting away to a woman with whom you seem to connect with (granted she is single of course) be ready to ask her to go for a coffee and talk some more if she likes, much more natural that way. :)
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2019
  3. blackribbon

    blackribbon Not a newbie

    +6,033
    Christian
    If you want to have an intellectual woman, you have to go to where they are. I don't know that many who spend time looking for a date with PoF or Tinder...or any online dating forum at that. They are at classes, lectures, volunteering, working... they are using their brains and living life. No it isn't easy to find them because it isn't easy to find a spouse. However, sitting at home and swiping on your computer is a guaranteed way to not meet many people at all.
     
  4. blackhole

    blackhole Member

    195
    +81
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Can you think of additional places to try?

    Thanks!
     
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  5. dms1972

    dms1972 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +584
    Non-Denom
    Single
    Fun runs. Groups meeting to run a community garden together. Night classes. Local History groups. :)
     
  6. blackribbon

    blackribbon Not a newbie

    +6,033
    Christian
    Check the library board for local activities. Meetup groups that are topic minded (not just those intended for singles to meet singles). What are your interests? There will be women at environmental events and community gardens. Volunteering for causes they believe in. Working (and leading) events at the church. They join their professional organizations and participate.

    Chances are she won't always be in full makeup or have her hair perfect. She might not be the best dresser in the room because those are trivial matters and not things that are high priority in her thought process. I mean, how deep can a conversation get when discussing your favorite lipstick or how long you spend styling your hair...or even fashion (unless those are her career).

    Intellectual and intelligent Christian women exist all over the place however they aren't spending all their time "looking for a man" to complete them. They are using the talents that God gave them to serve Him.

    Use your brain. If you can't find them, then question your own level of intellectualism. Smart women who like to think are everywhere. They like to be out learning and exercising their minds.
     
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  7. Bible Highlighter

    Bible Highlighter Law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul. Supporter

    +5,150
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    ...
     
  8. RaymondG

    RaymondG Well-Known Member

    +2,845
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    "4 Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
    5 Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass."
     
  9. blackribbon

    blackribbon Not a newbie

    +6,033
    Christian
    So if we don't find a spouse, it is because we aren't being Christian enough????
     
  10. RaymondG

    RaymondG Well-Known Member

    +2,845
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    So if I believe that I am following the scripture I wrote, and fail, does that mean that the bible is telling lies?
     
  11. blackhole

    blackhole Member

    195
    +81
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Can we NOT turn my thread into an exposition of the prosperity gospel? I'm not interested.
     
  12. RaymondG

    RaymondG Well-Known Member

    +2,845
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    I didnt know the poster who replied to my verses was talking about prosperity.....I thought the thread was about finding a partner.

    Didnt know so many could find offense in quoting scriptures. I thought I was encouraging...not offending.
     
  13. Seville90210

    Seville90210 Psalm 118:26

    357
    +113
    United States
    Baptist
    Single
    Got a question for you. Would you like to meet this type of woman?

    Proverbs 31:10-31 Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)
    The Perfect Wife
    10 How hard it is to find the perfect wife.
    She is worth far more than jewels.
    11 Her husband depends on her.
    He will never be poor.
    12 She does good for her husband all her life.
    She never causes him trouble.
    13 She is always gathering wool and flax
    and enjoys making things with her hands.
    14 She is like a ship from a faraway place.
    She brings home food from everywhere.
    15 She wakes up early in the morning,
    cooks food for her family, and gives the servants their share.
    16 She looks at land and buys it.
    She uses the money she has earned and plants a vineyard.
    17 She works very hard.
    She is strong and able to do all her work.
    18 She works late into the night
    to make sure her business earns a profit.
    19 She makes her own thread
    and weaves her own cloth.
    20 She always gives to the poor
    and helps those who need it.
    21 She does not worry about her family when it snows.
    She has given them all good, warm clothes.
    22 She makes sheets and spreads for the beds,
    and she wears clothes of fine linen.
    23 Her husband is a respected member of the city council,
    where he meets with the other leaders.
    24 She makes clothes and belts
    and sells them to the merchants.
    25 She is a strong person, and people respect her.
    She looks to the future with confidence.
    26 She speaks with wisdom
    and teaches others to be loving and kind.
    27 She oversees the care of her house.
    She is never lazy.
    28 Her children say good things about her.
    Her husband brags about her and says,
    29 “There are many good women,
    but you are the best.”
    30 Grace and beauty can fool you,
    but a woman who respects the Lord should be praised.
    31 Give her the reward she deserves.
    Praise her in public for what she has done.

    Proverbs 31:10-31 NKJV;ERV - The Virtuous Wife - Who can find a - Bible Gateway
     
  14. dms1972

    dms1972 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +584
    Non-Denom
    Single
    .
     
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2019
  15. blackribbon

    blackribbon Not a newbie

    +6,033
    Christian
    It isn't encouraging to Christians who would like to be married but haven't found a spouse. God does not at any point guarantee a spouse to any good Christian who "desires one in his/her heart". Our job isn't to pray to get the desires of our heart but rather learn to desire that which God has for us.
     
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  16. blackribbon

    blackribbon Not a newbie

    +6,033
    Christian
    The Prov 31 wife is not a newlywed. Those are characteristics that she grew into with the support of a healthy marriage and a godly supportive husband.
     
  17. dms1972

    dms1972 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +584
    Non-Denom
    Single
    Thanks that was what I was trying to say, but you put it a little better.
     
  18. dms1972

    dms1972 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +584
    Non-Denom
    Single
    You know I have known girls who when I got up the courage to ask out, said to me "I think God maybe wants me to be single." I find this daft and annoying, and am tempted to reply "Are you sure you heard Him right, could He be just saying - He wants you to remain a virgin till you get married?"
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2019
  19. myst33

    myst33 Well-Known Member

    +939
    Czech Republic
    Christian
    Single
    If I knew the answer...

    And even better, how to find a girl, if you are an introvert as I am, who is practicaly unable to start a convo with a stranger.
     
  20. dms1972

    dms1972 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +584
    Non-Denom
    Single
    .
     
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2019
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