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Featured Single - how to find a partner?

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by blackhole, Jun 22, 2019.

  1. Bible Highlighter

    Bible Highlighter Law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul. Supporter

    +5,172
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    I believe we are living in the last days, and finding people in general who truly want to follow the Lord Jesus Christ and what He says is becoming less remote (even in Christendom). I would seek to work for the airlines to some capacity (even part time) and try to find a good faithful down to Earth Christian woman who lives outside the United States (so you can visit her every few months as finances allow). Granted, I am saying this based off my own experience and what worked for me. My wife (who is Christian) is from Brazil, and they are very affectionate, dedicated, faithful, and yet if they were in some kind of ministry (like trying to evangelize in their area when they were young, etc.), then this is a good sign to date them indeed (if you consider following the Lord the most important part of your faith). But what you should do first is pray. Pray for the Lord to bring your Christian soul mate into your life. Maybe God has somebody here in the states for you, or maybe outside the US. Only God knows. I remember praying for 2 decades until I find my Christian soul mate. So be patient. The Scriptures say seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and all these things (basic needs) will be provided for you.
     
  2. Kenny'sID

    Kenny'sID Well-Known Member Supporter

    +5,002
    Christian
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    Skimming through, I noticed a few comments on God finding us a mate, but din't really pay attention to who said what, so this isn't directed at anyone.

    It's my personal belief, God doesn't do that. And yes, it could, and has happened but not often at all in the bible, and there is nothing biblical says we should wait for that. For anyone that thinks shutting themselves in and waiting for God or making no effort on our own is going to bring them a mate, ...bad idea, and I know from reading these boards people think that. But knowing human nature, if they did find someone, they would just say it was Gods choice for them. Meaning some will never stop thinking God does that...oh well.

    I can see God helping someone in extreme circumstances like someone who isn't too tightly wrapped and doesn't have a clue what to do, but that's not the OP or most all of us.

    He actually already told us who to marry, however, the criteria of being a christian doesn't exactly narrow it down. :) Like I have said before, God has a thing about not interfering in our decisions, not as a general rule anyway...he's told us how to act and seems to be a stickler when it comes to messing with free will.
     
  3. Andrew77

    Andrew77 The walking accident Supporter

    +1,218
    United States
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    US-Constitution
    Time to move. I've heard this same story before. People saying 'can't find someone near me'. You gotta move. You have to be where the single women are. I knew a guy that flew all the way to Germany to find his wife. Married her, and flew her back to Kentucky.

    Been married 20 years now.

    A man, is a hunter. You gotta go hunting. If you saw a deer hunter, sitting in the middle of Main St, just camping out waiting for a deer to stroll downtown, you would think they were crazy.

    If you saw a fisherman sitting with his pole and line down a sewer grate, you would thing they were crazy.

    Deer hunter needs to be in the woods, because that is where the deer are. The fisherman has to be in the river, because that's where the fish are.

    You gotta find where the single christian women are, and go hunting there. If there are no candidates in your area, then you need to look outside your area. That's how it works. G-d does not 'bring you a mate'. No woman is just going to randomly show up at your house and say "I think I'm led by the holy spirit to marry you."

    Yeah miracles can happen, but I would not hold my breath on this.

    Now there was one thing I heard you say, that you might want to reconsider.

    Back in school, there was a girl there who was a ditzy blonde. I mean straight waist length blond hair, and the bubbly spacey personality that matched it. She was one goofy chick.

    To give you an idea of what she was like, I ran into her in college, while crossing the campus. After she screamed my name, and gave me a big hug, we talked a while.

    So why are you here?
    "Oh I'm taking English!"

    Right right, so for what?
    "Oh, you know, to learn verbs and stuff"

    I remember just biting my lip to avoid laughing at her, and just giving her another tight hug. She simply was this way. This is who she was.

    I never asked her out, or talked to her that much, because I thought how could I possibly live with a woman, that I needed a coloring book and crayons, every time I wanted to talk to my wife?

    That was 20 years ago. What I found out was, I was a fool.

    How many super smart women have I met, that were cruel, jaded and mean? Sometimes the smarter a person is, just means they find more clever ways to be cunning and insulting.

    That girl was not intellectual at all, but let me tell you what she was. She never insulted anyone. Never talked behind anyone's back. Never heard her say a bad thing about anything. She was kind, and caring, and loving.

    That story above makes it sound like we were best friends, doesn't it? And if you saw us at the college campus embracing each other, you'd think we were best of friends, or maybe even romantically inclined.

    The reality is, I only knew her from being in some the same classes together in high school, and had not seen her since. The reason she was so friendly is because that was her nature. She was just that type of warmhearted person.

    If I had life to do over again, I would ask her out, and used a crayon and coloring book if I had to.

    Here's the takeaway.


    I understand that you wish to find a smart girl. Knock yourself out. Find what you want.

    But a moral woman will beat a smart woman any day. A kind woman will beat a bombshell runway model woman, any day. A loving, caring, happy woman, will beat a dozen Ph.Ds in Quantum Physics, any day.

    Do not exchange what is important, for a preference. I've met many women that were many times more intelligent than I am, who were not happy, or not kind, or not caring.

    Keep your priorities right. Do not exchange what matters, for what is fleeting.
     
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  4. blackhole

    blackhole Member

    195
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    I wouldn't necessarily object, but isn't it exceedingly unlikely that I'd meet someone here?
     
  5. blackhole

    blackhole Member

    195
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    I was treating the important things as assumed, and mentioned the preference because it's not assumed. In any case, I appreciate your input.
     
  6. Robin Mauro

    Robin Mauro Active Member

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    I do not mean to insult you in any way by saying this...I do not know you, but if you would pick that name here, it suggests you might represent yourself in similar ways in other places.
    And if that is how you see yourself, by all means, keep the name.
     
  7. blackhole

    blackhole Member

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    I chose it for anonymity; I'm an author, blogger, etc. and I want to minimize the odds of being harassed.
     
  8. Swan7

    Swan7 Made in the image of His Grace Supporter

    +6,726
    Canada
    Christian
    Married
    As have I tried that and failed at every turn. Know what I did? I gave up. Quit looking for a believer because they were liars, and I had also deceived myself in the process. I was looking on my own strength and living life that was not always God's way. I had to come to the cross and give myself up to Him. I then began to ask Him about everything, like a little child. Eventually, even for a mate - and I even told Him what I had read in the Bible concerning how God gives His servants a family and/or a wife/husband.

    To make a long story short:
    Do you have faith in God that He can give you a partner? Are you following Jesus Christ, our Saviour and King? God talks a lot about having faith in Him and only Him. I pray you be blessed as you seek Jesus Christ, our God.
    :yellowheart:
     
  9. Blade

    Blade Veteran Supporter

    +1,678
    Christian
    Married
    Blackhole Does your Father aka GOD hear you when you pray? Did He not tell you what ever you desire when you pray.. believe you receive them you shall have them. That if you ask the Father anything in my name (JESUS/Yeshua) He will give it.

    A mate is something that IS written is of God. So talk to Him.. knowing that He KNEW you would be asking this and has been working on this. Cant force people :) He is not like ANY person on this earth.. And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him. For His WILL is His word.

    As He told Abrahams wife "what is so hard for the lord?" It IS His will for you to marry.. its what you want.. where do you think that desire came from? KNOW He heard you
     
  10. blackhole

    blackhole Member

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    I don't subscribe to the prosperity gospel.
     
  11. Jordan1989

    Jordan1989 Member

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    It should be noted that while Marriage is certainly a wonderful blessing from God, it is not always God's will for us to marry.

    1 Corinthians 7:32-35 speaks to this:

    “I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.

    And again in verse 38:

    So the person who marries his fiancée does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better.”
     
  12. ilovejcsog

    ilovejcsog I am a Christian mutt. You can call me Rox

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    Is that Jay Leno? I love that guy:)
     
  13. Newtheran

    Newtheran Well-Known Member

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    True, but it's likely the wrong pool of candidates. Just because you enjoy intellectually challenging material doesn't mean that your spouse has to.
     
  14. Goose0612

    Goose0612 New Member

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  15. Goose0612

    Goose0612 New Member

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    Jesus asks us to follow him in spirit and truth. It appears from your words that you are seeking your own human solution. No sermon from me, but Gods words from Proverbs 3:5-6 gives us the answer to all of our questions and requests. It reads " Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight".
    Do you want Gods will for your like, or your own will? If you are born again, the answer is obvious.
     
  16. Andrew77

    Andrew77 The walking accident Supporter

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    I was just going based on

    "I also have the added difficulty of feeling very disconnected from people who aren't intellectuals. Unfortunately, it's not an option for me to try to find a partner at a seminary."

    That implied that perhaps you were turning some people down who were possibly fantastic women... but didn't have a cultivated opinion on the hypostatic union.

    I'm just saying, that at 42 years old, and single my entire life, without having gone on a single date (at least not a romantic one), that I think I made a mistake having that attitude.

    So you make your own choice, and that's fine.

    By the way.... "not an option for me to try to find a partner at a seminary".... why?
     
  17. Curtis.Hilliker

    Curtis.Hilliker Moderated Since 2019

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    Keep praying and seeking (I know, it gets old). I prayed and looked earnestly for about seven years before I met my wife.
     
  18. blackhole

    blackhole Member

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    Nah, I'm turning down nearly no one. There are hardly any options at all.

    Seminary: because I don't have the funds.
     
  19. timewerx

    timewerx the village i--o--t--

    +4,444
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    Yup, he sure is! Reminds me of the good 'ol days!
     
  20. timewerx

    timewerx the village i--o--t--

    +4,444
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    There's actually many intellectual women who pretends to be non-intellectuals, :eek: :O!!

    It's true!

    Also there are women who used to be fond of intellectual stuff but grown tired of it!

    Yup, better keep options open!
     
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