Dear Angeleyes 7715, I sincerely sympathize with your circumstance, challenge, & feelings. I experienced a nearly identical ailment, & way beyond, along with similar mental anguish, & emotional distress. I'm talking about 36 years + of seeming hopeless tribulation. Yet Jesus gave me hope .. & help .. & rescue at last. Please believe me : your Saviour Jesus is deeply grieved about this physical adversity, & your feelings of overwhelm & despondency. He has not abandoned you ! He will not leave you. He has a sure plan to rescue you.
I dare say He's more disgusted than you at the blatant degradation of women in this age. The indictment of sexual impurity in 1 Cor 6, Ephesians 4 +5, also in Col 3 & 1 Thes 4 .. come straight from His Heart. He is 100% on your side ! You belong to Him. He passionately Loves you. He has provided for your encourage-ment, support, & healing .. even in this life .. so that you may, can, & will smile again.
The redeeming power of His Cross & Resurrection are effective for you now, despite all. Jesus has truly overcome the Evil one, this World, our own weakness & inadequacy, sickness & pain .. even sins. So nothing has the power to separate you from the Love of God, that is yours in Christ Jesus. Only believe his Promise. All things are possible to Him who believes. Jesus believes For you. Lean wholly on Him.
We live by the Faith of the Son of God, who has loved You .. who gave his Life for You.
Please pray: Lord Jesus, I believe, tho' not as yet perfectly. Please help Thou my unbelief !
Now about his Help & Healing: this is likely a combination of Natural & Miraculous Aid.
Yet every Good gift .. & every Perfect gift .. are from above. Resolve yourself to seek not only
the Healing of God, but also especially the Face of God, the Mind of Christ, & his Father's Heart.
By allowing this experience to happen, the Wisdom of Holy God was that you should be made
Completely Whole .. body, soul & spirit. So that you might experience, understand, & trust Hi
abounding Love & perfect Provision for you .. thru His Son & Holy Spirit .. heart to heart.
Please believe me, AngelEyes, learning to trust Him under trial & tribulation is the only way
we ever grow in His Grace & personal Knowledge .. & come to experience his perfect Faith & Peace.
The trial of your Faith is more precious to Him .. & You .. than that of gold that is tested in fire.
The eyes of the Lord run to & fro Thru-out the earth,
to show Himself Strong on behalf of Them
whose Heart is Perfect towards Him.
The Lord was speaking of Making people Whole on the inside, by inviting them in adversity, danger
& especially opposition to their Faith, to Trust His Wisdom & Power, Love & Promises .. Completely !
She who does not receive the Kingdom of Heaven as a little child can by no means enter therein.
This life .. this predicament .. contains your Special Invitation to abandon your self to the Father's Care.
The same Master who brought his boat to the Gadarene shore will see you safely through this storm.
Only wait on your Lord .. Be of good courage .. & He shall strengthen your Heart. Wait on the Lord !
All this to say: Ask, & you shall Receive. Spend time on your knees, with an open Bible.
Pour out your heart before Holy God: He's a Refuge for You. The entrance of His word brings Light.
Please don't be in a hurry for His answer. Be prepared to wait for Him to prepare You inside.
Pray for wisdom from above .. beyond the ideas & emotions & power of natural mankind.
Read a few Psalms & Gospel stories in your quiet time daily. Does anything therein speak to your Heart ?
Write down any memorable or touching verses. Ask Lord Jesus to make them Real for You.
Meditate on them as you go through your day. Listen for his still small voice.
Only thereafter Seek, that you might find. Knock, that your doors may be opened.
Some of His answers will be guidance toward Material & Physical solutions .. He is Lord of All !
Please don't shy away from Books or Recommendations from qualified professionals
in the field of Alternative / Natural Medicine. Who created the natural world ?
And God saw that it was Good .. for Us ! All things were made thru Jesus .. our Wisdom !
Please also recall that: All Healing comes through the Cross :
Surely He has borne our Griefs, & carried our Sorrows ...
the Chastisement of our Peace was upon Him,
& by His stripes, We were Healed.
The Hebrew words for grief & sorrow .. also mean Sickness & Pain !
Isaiah wrote Are Healed ... Peter wrote Were Healed. It's all about the Cross.
And Jesus was thinking about You as He suffered in Your place, for You.
He who spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us All,
how shall He not with Him, also freely Give us All Things ?
Every time Jesus healed a Person, He knew how much it would cost Him.
Yet He Healed them anyway .. Gladly .. He cares equally for You !
After bearing our Sins, & every Consequence thereof, Jesus said :
It is Finished .. meaning Paid in Full .. for you, for me .. Forever !
So now All things for Life & Godliness are ours,
through the Knowledge of Him who has Called us
by his Glory & Virtue .. also t