I'm not OK. My fault or not.
I don't know how often this happens to people who are grieving but the last thing that a grieving person wants is for people to leave them. I know it's only online people but I think that it could end up bleeding into real life. I have been accused of not putting in effort or taking advice, etc. I think that the worst thing that can happen to a person when they're grieving is to lose a friend.
I wrote this back to the person:
Hi G. Ever since my dad, my behavior has changed for the worse. I am more lonely yet more derelict in responding to people. I have been unable to understand my behavior. My life is lonely, empty, and has no purpose. I have been unable to word my problems. I will have to express a disagreement (well, you would probably disagree, that is) that the last thing I need when grieving is for someone to "leave" me, but I suppose that with the way my behavior is portrayed, you think I don't need anyone. I can't understand my own self and I feel basically like a zombie who complains of loneliness but has become too lazy and inert to respond to anyone. It does hurt to see you "leave" because I feel that anyone leaving (no matter how sporadic the content) is not beneficial but I don't want to look like I'm forcing anyone to be my friend. This is the second person who has been like this with me; there must be something wrong with me.
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Sadly, he's kind of right. What am I even doing, wallowing in loneliness yet not maintaining contact. You don't get it and neither do I.
I don't know how often this happens to people who are grieving but the last thing that a grieving person wants is for people to leave them. I know it's only online people but I think that it could end up bleeding into real life. I have been accused of not putting in effort or taking advice, etc. I think that the worst thing that can happen to a person when they're grieving is to lose a friend.
I wrote this back to the person:
Hi G. Ever since my dad, my behavior has changed for the worse. I am more lonely yet more derelict in responding to people. I have been unable to understand my behavior. My life is lonely, empty, and has no purpose. I have been unable to word my problems. I will have to express a disagreement (well, you would probably disagree, that is) that the last thing I need when grieving is for someone to "leave" me, but I suppose that with the way my behavior is portrayed, you think I don't need anyone. I can't understand my own self and I feel basically like a zombie who complains of loneliness but has become too lazy and inert to respond to anyone. It does hurt to see you "leave" because I feel that anyone leaving (no matter how sporadic the content) is not beneficial but I don't want to look like I'm forcing anyone to be my friend. This is the second person who has been like this with me; there must be something wrong with me.
---------------
Sadly, he's kind of right. What am I even doing, wallowing in loneliness yet not maintaining contact. You don't get it and neither do I.
