Is it okay to date another Christian whose been divorced?

[Bible Highlighter]

Are you saying then, that ONE of those two out of a broken marriage is no longer married to the other?
Because that's the position "perpetual adultery" leaves you in.
If only ONE person is free to remarry, but the other is not, then you have a marriage in God's eyes, that only exists for one person... the one who broke it via adultery.

I believe the second half of Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9 is talking about divorcing for unbiblical reasons. It is adultery to marry somebody who is divorced that has not done so thru the proper Biblical way. Hence, why it is adultery. The marriage has not been dissolved properly. This is the line of thought following divorce for unbiblical reasons from the very beginning of Jesus's conversation. Jesus is not talking about lawful rules of exception for divorce in the second half of Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9.

Okay. So what about the wife who cheated on her husband and he divorced her on Biblical grounds? Can another man marry her? Yes. The marriage has been dissolved. But she would need to repent of her previous sin of adultery in order to keep her heart right with the Lord (If she is a Christian). However, if she were to later just have sex with a bunch of men after being divorced biblically, she would be an harlot whereby she would be joining with the flesh of many men (Making bodily covenants with no real spiritual pledge of a lawful covenant marriage). But if she were to repent of these sins, and find another Christian man, and she decided to turn her life around, she could remarry. For God is in the business of forgiveness. Granted, it has to be on His terms of course. God has His own Laws and or Commands that He desires for us to follow. We cannot intentionally do evil or do our own thing and expect to be forgiven. God has His own sense of goodness or standard of morality that is a part of His good character.

Side Note:

Oh, and only a faithful partner can dissolve the marriage if their spouse was unfaithful. An unfaithful spouse cannot decide to break or dissolve a marriage if the faithful spouse does not agree to divorce on grounds for their unfaithfulness.


...

 

[Bible Highlighter]

If hes already married when he met you, divorces the wife in order to marry you, thats adultery.

Yep, your right. Mark 10 says,

11 "And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery."
(Mark 10:11-12).


...

 

[1stcenturylady]

I believe the second half of Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9 is talking about divorcing for unbiblical reasons. It is adultery to marry somebody who is divorced that has not done so thru the proper Biblical way. Hence, why it is adultery. The marriage has not been dissolved properly. This is the line of thought following divorce for unbiblical reasons from the very beginning of Jesus's conversation. Jesus is not talking about lawful rules of exception for divorce in the second half of Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9.

Okay. So what about the wife who cheated on her husband and she divorced him on Biblical grounds? Can another man marry her? Yes. The marriage has been dissolved. But she would need to repent of her previous sin of adultery in order to keep her heart right with the Lord (If she is a Christian). However, if she were to later just have sex with a bunch of men after being divorced biblically, she would be an harlot whereby she would be joining with the flesh of many men (Making bodily covenants with no real spiritual pledge of a lawful marriage). But if she were to repent of these sins, and find another Christian man, and she decided to turn her life around, she could remarry. For God is in the business of forgiveness. Granted, it has to be on His terms of course. God has His own Laws and or Commands that He desires for us to follow. We cannot intentionally do evil or do our own thing and expect to be forgiven. God has His own sense of goodness or standard of morality that is a part of His good character.


...

I'm with you on the latter part, but what did you mean by "So what about the wife who cheated on her husband and she divorced him on Biblical grounds? Can another man marry her? Yes."

This is confusing. How did she have biblical grounds when she did the cheating? What did he do?

 

[Paul Yohannan]

I know the bible says that if a man divorces his wife and marries another, then he and that new woman are adulterers. But in this day and age, it is extremely hard not to meet someone who is divorced. Especially when you are older. Are there any exceptions? I don't want to commit adultery!

In the Orthodox Church, one can be remarried twice (three marriages in total). However, a priest cannot have married a divorcee or afaik a widower; also once ordained, if a priest divorces, he cannot remarry; if he is widowed, he likewise cannot remarry, and if he is unmarried when ordained he cannot marry. However married priests are not required to be celibate.

 

[Bible Highlighter]

I'm with you on the latter part, but what did you mean by "So what about the wife who cheated on her husband and she divorced him on Biblical grounds? Can another man marry her? Yes."

This is confusing. How did she have biblical grounds when she did the cheating? What did he do?

The marriage is dissolved and it is no more in God's eyes. So no adultery can take place. Yes, she is the guilty party and she will reap what she sows, but she is free to remarry because the marriage covenant no longer exists anymore (Because the faithful spouse divorced her on the Biblical grounds that she was unfaithful). In Hosea 2 we see Hosea tell Gomer's relatives that she is not his wife anymore. He divorced her because of her unfaithfulness. But yet, he later bought her out of slavery and took care of her afterwards because he loved her (Just as God loves Israel and desires them to repent as a nation one day) (Note: There is no mention that Hosea later remarried Gomer; It is only said that he took care of her after she was sold into slavery).

We may think Jesus's words that say that no man can marry a divorced woman without committing adultery, but Jesus was not referring to the exception clause here whereby a marriage can be Biblically dissolved. Jesus was talking about unlawful divorces (Which was the whole reason why he spoke to begin with on this particular topic).

Side Note:

Some of us might think that the wife who cheated on her husband and he divorced her for those reasons means that she must be punished for her crimes. Some of us might think that Jesus was speaking to ALL divorced woman when He said that a man cannot marry a divorced woman (otherwise they are committing adultery), but this is not the case. He was only talking about unlawful divorces. When a husband biblically dissolves the marriage it is no more. It doesn't exist anymore. They are both free from the previous marriage contract or covenant.

Now, a wife who is unfaithful to her husband is in more danger than just losing her marriage. She is making bodily covenants with more than one man and there is the danger that she can get a sexually transmitted disease as a result of her transgression here and even die as a result of it.


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[I'm_Sorry]

Regarding adultery.

Who here is not guilty?

"But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

"And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell."

Matthew 5:28-29

I thought Jesus was exposing the every depths of the sinful nature of man.

And that living by the law alone does not = righteousness because we become blind to the depths of our sin and become hypocritical like the Pharisees.

Living by the law means you are better off cutting off your members (eye, hand etc) to stop sinning.

In Christ we are a new creation and the power to have victory over sin comes from our new relationship with God, The Word (Jesus), Holy Ghost (within us) not by our own efforts in our own merit.

The Father forgives sin because of Jesus.

You have a new slate after you repent and receive forgiveness.

Do we still need to be circumcised men?

 

[PeterDona]

Marriage was the first institution created by God, and it goes for all people regardless of being believers or not. When 2 people (never before married) marry, God will create a one-flesh union that will last until death of either party. If one of the parties goes off and marry another, he is polluting the first marriage, but the first marriage is still there. This is not a question of before or after conversion, this is a command for all people at all times.

I find it scary, that people will convert to Christ, I guess that means that they will stop sinning, and then throw themselves into sin using the excuse that they were not a christian before. Does that make sense? Oh, before I was evil, now I am good, therefore I will throw myself into this evil behavior .... ???

There is no remarriage approved by God, while a one-flesh partner is still alive. Go back to Genesis 2, that is where Jesus went when confronted on the issue. There is a covenant relationship, it can NOT be broken, but it can be polluted.

We simply live in a time when people will not tolerate sound doctrine. People want to hear that they are not bound by their first spouse. But they are, till death do them part.

 

[Bible Highlighter]

Regarding adultery.

Who here is not guilty?

"But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

"And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell."

Matthew 5:28-29

I though Jesus was exposing the every depths of the sinful nature of man.

And that living by the law alone does not = righteousness because we become blind to the depths of our sin and become hypocritical like the Pharisees.

Living by the law means you are better off cutting off your members (eye, hand etc) to stop sinning.

In Christ we are a new creation and the power to have victory over sin comes from our new relationship with God, The Word (Jesus), Holy Ghost (within us) not by our own efforts in our own merit.

The Father forgives sin because of Jesus.

You have a new slate after you repent and receive forgiveness.

Do we still need to be circumcised men?

First, adultery in one's heart is not exactly the same as committing adultery physically (i.e. cheating on one's wife physically). While both are not good, the physical version is far more destructive. The potential end of the marriage, sexual disease, distrust, jealousy, broken up familes, etc.

Second, if a person looks upon another person in lust, Jesus said they would be in danger of hellfire. Jesus did not say, you do not need to worry. Just believe in me and you will be saved. No, no. Jesus never said that here. He said you are in danger of being cast bodily into hellfire if you look upon a woman in lust. The good news is we can be forgiven. 1 John 1:9 says if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteous. This is in context to forsaking sin, too (See 1 John 1:7). For he that confesses and forsakes sin shall have mercy (Proverbs 28:13).


....

 

[I'm_Sorry]

There is no remarriage approved by God, while a one-flesh partner is still alive. Go back to Genesis 2, that is where Jesus went when confronted on the issue. There is a covenant relationship, it can NOT be broken, but it can be polluted.

We simply live in a time when people will not tolerate sound doctrine. People want to hear that they are not bound by their first spouse. But they are, till death do them part.

Can/have you controlled your eye to never lust? and if you lust, you commit adultery with her in your heart.

What do you do if you perpetually commit adultery in your heart while in Christ?

 

[1stcenturylady]

The marriage is dissolved and it is no more in God's eyes. So no adultery can take place. Yes, she is the guilty party and she will reap what she sows, but she is free to remarry because the marriage covenant no longer exists anymore (Because the faithful spouse divorced her on the Biblical grounds that she was unfaithful). In Hosea 2 we see Hosea tell Gomer's relatives that she is not his wife anymore. He divorced her because of her unfaithfulness. But yet, he later bought her out of slavery and took care of her afterwards because he loved her (Just as God loves Israel and desires them to repent as a nation one day) (Note: There is no mention that Hosea later remarried Gomer; It is only said that he took care of her after she was sold into slavery).

We may think Jesus's words that say that no man can marry a divorced woman without committing adultery, but Jesus was not referring to the exception clause here whereby a marriage can be Biblically dissolved. Jesus was talking about unlawful divorces (Which was the whole reason why he spoke to begin with on this particular topic).

Side Note:

Some of us might think that the wife who cheated on her husband and he divorced her for those reasons means that she must be punished for her crimes. Some of us might think that Jesus was speaking to ALL divorced woman when He said that a man cannot marry a divorced woman (otherwise they are committing adultery), but this is not the case. He was only talking about unlawful divorces. When a husband biblically dissolves the marriage it is no more. It doesn't exist anymore. They are both free from the previous marriage contract or covenant.

Now, a wife who is unfaithful to her husband is in more danger than just losing her marriage. She is making bodily covenants with more than one man and there is the danger that she can get a sexually transmitted disease as a result of her transgression here and even die as a result of it.


...

Now you are saying the opposite: "(Because the faithful spouse divorced her on the Biblical grounds that she was unfaithful)." In the first post, you said she was unfaithful, and SHE got the divorce, not him.

Did you make a typo?

 

[I'm_Sorry]

First, adultery in one's heart is not exactly the same as committing adultery physically (i.e. cheating on one's wife physically). While both are not good, the physical version is far more destructive. The potential end of the marriage, sexual disease, distrust, jealousy, broken up familes, etc.

Second, if a person looks upon another person in lust, Jesus said they would be in danger of hellfire. Jesus did not say, you do not need to worry. Just believe in me and you will be saved. No, no. Jesus never said that here. He said you are in danger of being cast bodily into hellfire if you look upon a woman in lust. The good news is we can be forgiven. 1 John 1:9 says if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteous. This is in context to forsaking sin, too (See 1 John 1:7). For he that confesses and forsakes sin shall have mercy (Proverbs 28:13).
....

The work of the God within us turns us from sin.

We begin to understand Him and love Him.

If you love me do what I say - Jesus

Our endurance unto the end (sanctification) is God's work within us, yes?

 

[Bible Highlighter]

Marriage was the first institution created by God, and it goes for all people regardless of being believers or not. When 2 people (never before married) marry, God will create a one-flesh union that will last until death of either party. If one of the parties goes off and marry another, he is polluting the first marriage, but the first marriage is still there. This is not a question of before or after conversion, this is a command for all people at all times.

I find it scary, that people will convert to Christ, I guess that means that they will stop sinning, and then throw themselves into sin using the excuse that they were not a christian before. Does that make sense? Oh, before I was evil, now I am good, therefore I will throw myself into this evil behavior .... ???

There is no remarriage approved by God, while a one-flesh partner is still alive. Go back to Genesis 2, that is where Jesus went when confronted on the issue. There is a covenant relationship, it can NOT be broken, but it can be polluted.

We simply live in a time when people will not tolerate sound doctrine. People want to hear that they are not bound by their first spouse. But they are, till death do them part.

If you want to see God's love and grace... look at the cross.
If you want to see God's judgment... look at the cross.

Jesus says the exception clause to divorce and remarriage is that your spouse has to cheat on you. You might say that Jesus is only talking about divorce alone, but he wasn't. For if a person can lawfully divorce according to the Bible, is that marriage still intact? Does that marriage still exist? What in your view is Jesus talking about in relation to his words, (except for the cause of fornication) mean to you? How can a person divorce somebody (according to Jesus's exception clause) and still be married to them?


...

 

[Bible Highlighter]

Now you are saying the opposite: "(Because the faithful spouse divorced her on the Biblical grounds that she was unfaithful)." In the first post, you said she was unfaithful, and SHE got the divorce, not him.

Did you make a typo?

Please refer to me which post #'s and specific sentences and words you are talking about. Thank you.


...

 

[Bible Highlighter]

The work of the God within us turns us from sin.

We begin to understand Him and love Him.

If you love me do what I say - Jesus

Our endurance unto the end (sanctification) is God's work within us, yes?

I agree with all of what you said above here.
I was just afraid that you might have been trying to teach Eternal Security or a sin and still be saved type doctrine (Which is popular these days). If that is not what you are teaching, then my apologies.


...

 

[1stcenturylady]

The marriage is dissolved and it is no more in God's eyes. So no adultery can take place. Yes, she is the guilty party and she will reap what she sows, but she is free to remarry because the marriage covenant no longer exists anymore (Because the faithful spouse divorced her on the Biblical grounds that she was unfaithful). In Hosea 2 we see Hosea tell Gomer's relatives that she is not his wife anymore. He divorced her because of her unfaithfulness. But yet, he later bought her out of slavery and took care of her afterwards because he loved her (Just as God loves Israel and desires them to repent as a nation one day) (Note: There is no mention that Hosea later remarried Gomer; It is only said that he took care of her after she was sold into slavery).

We may think Jesus's words that say that no man can marry a divorced woman without committing adultery, but Jesus was not referring to the exception clause here whereby a marriage can be Biblically dissolved. Jesus was talking about unlawful divorces (Which was the whole reason why he spoke to begin with on this particular topic).

Side Note:

Some of us might think that the wife who cheated on her husband and he divorced her for those reasons means that she must be punished for her crimes. Some of us might think that Jesus was speaking to ALL divorced woman when He said that a man cannot marry a divorced woman (otherwise they are committing adultery), but this is not the case. He was only talking about unlawful divorces. When a husband biblically dissolves the marriage it is no more. It doesn't exist anymore. They are both free from the previous marriage contract or covenant.

Now, a wife who is unfaithful to her husband is in more danger than just losing her marriage. She is making bodily covenants with more than one man and there is the danger that she can get a sexually transmitted disease as a result of her transgression here and even die as a result of it.


...

I've heard this dogma before on another Christian site. I totally disagreed then, and still do. It is not in line with how God views it. First off, the covenant is broken because the guilty party is DEAD in God's eyes, making the covenant null and void and the innocent party free to remarry, but NOT the guilty party. Anyone who marries them is sinning.

This is why Jesus said in Matthew 19 that except for sexual sin. In the OT, the sexual adulterer would have been killed, thus making their mate a widow/widower and free to remarry. Marrying a guilty divorced person is an abomination.

 

[Kenny'sID]

Who here is not guilty?

That isn't the point at all, not unless some of us are condemning or considering stoning someone for adultery, and I think most of these people know better. All we are doing he is trying to determine what the problem is with remarriage after divorce/what the bible says on it, or answer the OP's question.

My heart goes out to those in the predicament, but I'm not going to dance around what the bible tells us is true.

I'm actually probably guilty of worse at one time or another.

 

[I'm_Sorry]

If you want to see God's love and grace... look at the cross.
If you want to see God's judgment... look at the cross.

Jesus says the exception clause to divorce and remarriage is that your spouse has to cheat on you. You might say that Jesus is only talking about divorce alone, but he wasn't. For if a person can lawfully divorce according to the Bible, is that marriage still intact? Does that marriage still exist? What in your view is Jesus talking about in relation to his words, (except for the cause of fornication) mean to you?


...

Ok lets put my senario on the table for an example.

First wife had 14 partners before me.
I had 2.
Born again before I was married to her at age 21.

Marriage ended (she chose to leave me) at age 28

I sinned (didn't put God first or accepting pain and tried to relieve my pain) by finding my new partner within 2 months of her separating from me (still technically married)

I stayed and proposed with my new partner until she died 2016
I cheated on her in 2014
We reconciled 2014
She was born again in 2015

My First wife now has a baby with another.

I Loved my partner who just passed the most and put in more effort than any other relationship caring for her as she was passing losing my job to do so..

I feel I'm to remain celibate for the rest of my life because I don't want to sin against God and I want to wait for my second partner in Heaven, is this God's will?

 

[Bible Highlighter]

I've heard this dogma before on another Christian site. I totally disagreed then, and still do. It is not in line with how God views it. First off, the covenant is broken because the guilty party is DEAD in God's eyes, making the covenant null and void and the innocent party free to remarry, but NOT the guilty party. Anyone who marries them is sinning.

I would be open to hearing your case Biblically on this.

This is why Jesus said in Matthew 19 that except for sexual sin. In the OT, the sexual adulterer would have been killed, thus making their mate a widow/widower and free to remarry. Marrying a guilty divorced person is an abomination.

Interesting. Thank you for saying that. I will pray about that.
Any more information on this Biblically would be good.
It just seems like the marriage is dissolved in my view because the faithful man is allowed to divorce and remarry. If the previous marriage was not dissolved, then he couldn't remarry. What applies to him, would apply to her because there is no more marriage.


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[1stcenturylady]

Please refer to me which post #'s and specific sentences and words you are talking about. Thank you.


...

#161 "Okay. So what about the wife who cheated on her husband and she divorced him on Biblical grounds?"

#165 "(Because the faithful spouse divorced her on the Biblical grounds that she was unfaithful)"

 

[I'm_Sorry]

How do I delete double post?