Is it okay to date another Christian whose been divorced?

[BukiRob]

Absolutely. But a man that once was married had a companion, and then divorce happened. What God brings together no man should separate.

Granted, we are not under OT Law, but it's interesting to know why this would be "detestable" to God under the OC:

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 New International Version (NIV)

24 If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, 2 and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, 3 and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, 4 then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.

So what does her first husband spiritually have to do with his ex-wife's 2nd divorce?

Whoa.... that is talking about a man divorcing his wife, she remarries the 2nd husband divorces her and then the first husband remarries her.

 

[I'm_Sorry]

To be honest, I haven't followed all of the conversations on here, so point me to the numbered post on the sin you are having trouble with accepting forgiveness.

Is it okay to date another Christian whose been divorced?

 

[Kenny'sID]

No thats right. But could she have a new marriage in God's way?

I wish it were not a fact, but the best I can tell, Jesus forbids it.

Like many here, and for good reason, I've tried to find a way past it, it just isn't there.

To remarry would be ongoing adultery

 

[PeterDona]

So I must repent and stay celibate and risk perpetual masturbation and porn or imaginary stimuli?

Each time repenting of masturbating yet succumbing to temptation 6 months down the road?

It takes strength to live the christian life. And it is my trust that God will provide you with strength, and will flow life into your body to a measure that one day you will realize how shallow your ideas of a good life were. Start doing good, and enter into life (!)

btw, here is a resource for you that could prove to be very good for you: https://thelastreformation.com/#
They focus on getting people to live the life. This is what many of us need.

 

[BukiRob]

You have just taken two well known passages out of context, as do many pastors I might add, so its not your fault if you parrot them.

1 John 1:8 is speaking about Gnostics, a heretical group of the first century and probably further that was winning a lot of converts to their side that Jesus did not come in the flesh, but in spirit, thus we can only sin in the spirit so no sins of the flesh are even sin. Read the whole book of 1 John, don't just take one verse out of context.

Romans 7 is the culmination of Paul's sermon on the LAW, starting in Romans 1! He had been a Pharisee and the Old Testament Law was to be kept by the Jews, but in their own strength. The law was a constant battle of KNOWING what to do, but with no power to achieve it. So WHO can save me from this body of death - JESUS! So get it in context with all of it, especially the next chapter. (Read Romans 8:1 and Romans 8:9)



Jesus has given His people the Holy Spirit, His own power to be DEAD TO SIN.

Context! Context! Context!!!!!

On what do you base your view that 1 John is written about Gnosticism?

1 John itself contains no hint of the identity of the Christian community to which it was addressed, nor does it give any specific clue to the identification of the locale involved where these believers lived. The only thing that can be said for certain about the intended readers based on the content of the letter itself is that (1) they were Christians, (2) they appear to have been well-known to the author (and he to them), and (3) they were facing a threat from false teaching, a threat which was both serious and which appears to have arisen from within their Christian community.

There is literally ZERO evidence in the book of 1 John that indicates at all, that he is dealing with Gnostic's... like 0 evidence.

You do realize that I am a Messianic Believer right? You are then also aware that it is a sect of Judaism that holds to the truth concerning Yeshua as the Ha Mashiach of Y'Israel.

As such we do not accept the error taught by the church concerning Paul. Paul was not anti Torah, nor were the apostles nor were the leaders of the church in Jerusalem... Quite the opposite actually....

BUT.... we are drifting off topic.

We will agree to disagree concerning Paul's view of the Torah

 

[I'm_Sorry]

I wish it were not a fact, but the best I can tell, Jesus forbids it.

Like many here, and for good reason, I've tried to find a way past it, it just isn't there.

To remarry would be ongoing adultery

Then my first wife is in perpetual adultery due to my sin? That means that is a grave sin! She could be damned if she doesn't repent!

How am I still in Christ if my sin causes two deaths!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[I'm_Sorry]

It takes strength to live the christian life. And it is my trust that God will provide you with strength, and will flow life into your body to a measure that one day you will realize how shallow your ideas of a good life were. Start doing good, and enter into life (!)

He is doing this now, it gets even better the closer we draw near and stay.

May I ask a question being celibate?

When was the last time you succumbed to temptation of the flesh to sexual release? I'm 32 y/o :O celibacy is for many years God willing a long life!

What way out has God provided you during the worst of temptation.

 

[1stcenturylady]

Try what again? Do more adultery?

My answer is, that yes he who believes and is baptized shall be saved out of his sins, but it does not remove previous marriage, if that is what you talk about when using the phrase "clean slate". Otherwise anyone getting baptized would have to go through the process of marrying their spouse again, since baptism had broken the marriage.

Also, I do not believe that adultery "breaks" a marriage. If it did, some of the words in the Bible would not make sense. For your edification I will be specific, that I believe that verses Luke 16:18 and Matthew 19:9 would not make sense if an adultery e.g. in the form of a new marriage broke the old marriage. Otherwise, how then could it be adultery to marry the woman who had been put away, and the other spouse had already remarried?

I read your history to say that your covenant wife is in an adulterous relation (marriage, humanly speaking) with a baby, and she probably will not just break up that relation and return to you. However, your situation is that you are still one flesh with her, and therefore her adultery does not legalize you to go into adultery.

Try what again? Do more adultery?

My answer is, that yes he who believes and is baptized shall be saved out of his sins, but it does not remove previous marriage, if that is what you talk about when using the phrase "clean slate". Otherwise anyone getting baptized would have to go through the process of marrying their spouse again, since baptism had broken the marriage.

Also, I do not believe that adultery "breaks" a marriage. If it did, some of the words in the Bible would not make sense. For your edification I will be specific, that I believe that verses Luke 16:18 and Matthew 19:9 would not make sense if an adultery e.g. in the form of a new marriage broke the old marriage. Otherwise, how then could it be adultery to marry the woman who had been put away, and the other spouse had already remarried?

I read your history to say that your covenant wife is in an adulterous relation (marriage, humanly speaking) with a baby, and she probably will not just break up that relation and return to you. However, your situation is that you are still one flesh with her, and therefore her adultery does not legalize you to go into adultery.

Wrong. It depends on guilt. If one party is guilty of adultery (it has to be a sexual sin) and the divorce is due to that sexual sin, then the innocent party is free to remarry. Why? Because the guilty party is dead spiritually speaking in God's eyes, leaving the innocent a widow/widower, free of the covenant.

 

[1stcenturylady]

Then my first wife is in perpetual adultery due to my sin? That means that is a grave sin! She could be damned if she doesn't repent!

How am I still in Christ if my sin causes two deaths!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did your wife leave you. You've never said.

 

[I'm_Sorry]

Why did your wife leave you. You've never said.

She stopped loving me

 

[BukiRob]

A marriage is consummated when you have sex. If you have had sex with someone other than your wife (in the case of a woman her husband) you are joined/one flesh to whomever you had sex with.

If you then marry another person in a civilly recognized wedding and have sex with your wife you have committed adultery.

Yeshua was correcting the ERROR concerning divorce that was currently being practiced in Israel.

Those married believer telling other divorced people what to do are in all likelihood guilty of adultery as a result of premarital sex with someone when they were single who isnt their current wife!

 

[1stcenturylady]

She stopped loving me

That is not cause for divorce in God's eyes. It has to be based on a sexual sin.

 

[BukiRob]

I wish it were not a fact, but the best I can tell, Jesus forbids it.

Like many here, and for good reason, I've tried to find a way past it, it just isn't there.

To remarry would be ongoing adultery

Uhmm No its not.

 

[Kenny'sID]

She stopped loving me

Then how is that "your sin" causing 2 deaths, as you mentioned?

 

[Bible Highlighter]

My view on this is, that Jesus is commenting on a specific verse in the Law, that the jewish scholars had expanded beyond its due application. The exception is mentioned only in the Gospel of Matthew which is the Gospel to the hebrew people. Now in their law they had one exception stated, and Jesus clarified that the exception was only included ("by Moses") for the hardness of their hearts, and it only relates to fornication which is sex before marriage. Now, a case of this exception clause is actually described in the beginning of the Gospel of Matthew, when Joseph finds out that his espousee Mary (whom God calls his "wife") seems to have had illicit sexual relations before the marriage. And the comment is, that "Joseph being a just man", while he yet did contemplate to "put her away".

So my answer is, that the exception clause is only regarding if the woman is not a virgin, and it is only viable before the fulfilment of the espousal (the marriage). After that, they are one flesh with no exceptions. Besides, it is only granted to jewish people, there is not exception discussed in the other gospels.

I had briefly thought this was also talking exclusively about lying about one's virginity based on the fact that word "forncation" was used, too. For we see fornication is primarily used to refer to sex outside of marriage (Which is true). What changed my mind on this point was a discovery of an extended meaning on the word "fornication" and by thinking about this logically. First, how does this law of exception on lying about virginity apply in a world like today? How often would this case come up? Not very often. But lets not let looking at logic alone to make our case here (Which then leads me into my other two points). Two, the word "fornication" is used as in reference to unfaithfulness in a marriage covenant with Israel in Ezekiel 16:26. It is claried in verse 8, God says to Israel,

"...Behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord GOD, and thou becamest mine." (Ezekiel 16:8).​

26 "Thou hast also committed fornication with the Egyptians thy neighbours, great of flesh; and hast increased thy whoredoms, to provoke me to anger.
27 Behold, therefore I have stretched out my hand over thee, and have diminished thine ordinary food, and delivered thee unto the will of them that hate thee, the daughters of the Philistines, which are ashamed of thy lewd way.
28 Thou hast played the harlot also with the Assyrians, because thou wast unsatiable; yea, thou hast played the harlot with them, and yet couldest not be satisfied.
29 Thou hast moreover multiplied thy fornication in the land of Canaan unto Chaldea; and yet thou wast not satisfied herewith."
(Ezekiel 16:26-29).​

Three, in Hosea 2, Hosea had told Gomer's family that he was no longer his wife. No doubt Hosea divorced Gomer because of her sexual misconduct with many men when they were married. Important Note: Many believe God told Hosea to marry a prostitute to begin with. This is wrong and it is not what the beginning of Hosea 1 says. Hosea married a wife of whoredoms (idolatry). Meaning, Hosea married a wife of a people of idolatry and he did not marry a harlot to begin with. She later become a harlot or prostitute, but he divorced her and the later bought her out of the sex slave trade (back in those days) and he became her loving friend and servant.


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[I'm_Sorry]

That is not cause for divorce in God's eyes. It has to be based on a sexual sin.

Yes I committed that 2 months after she left me and said she wants nothing to do with me going forward.

 

[Kenny'sID]

But wait, can I'm Sorry remarry if she left him, since it is actually his wife that is causing him to commit adultery, and not him. I mean if if we want to go by the wording of Jesus, she would be to blame for the ensuing adultery, not him.

 

[I'm_Sorry]

Then how is that "your sin" causing 2 deaths, as you mentioned?

Because she is still bound to me in marriage. I'm going by what I understand people have said here.

I don't believe this, I believe God forgives.

And I forgive her.

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

 

[1stcenturylady]

Yes I committed that 2 months after she left me and said she wants nothing to do with me going forward.

So, she didn't leave you for another man. She left you, and you fornicated immediately and continuously with your "partner" until she died?

 

[Bible Highlighter]

I don't think it was lawful either yet Christ was there.

And she came to Him.

Fornication, what about fornication?

How many partners did my first wife and I have before our marriage?

Was she/I forgiven and we had a clean slate for the lawful (or unlawful??) marriage?

A person's first legal marriage by the state or their country is lawful and considered a real marriage to God despite previous relationships. Can God forgive us of our sins? Yes, but I think that we also have to not only confess our sins but we have to forsake those sins, too. Granted, a person can be saved by confessing their sins or by accepting Christ before they shortly die. I just do not see how your second marriage lines up with the words of Jesus. I know you deeply loved each other, but our love for one another should never be above the Word of God.


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