I read your initial post--thank you. I responded here because of the long train of comments you had. What about when Jesus said that whoever puts his wife aside is an adulterer and the new wife an adulteress? What about when he said that whoever looks at a woman and has lust in his heart has committed adultery in his head?
First of all, we must remember that what Jesus said about divorce and remarriage, he was saying to the Pharisees, who were supposed to be obeying the Law. Jesus never told anyone to disregard the Law of Moses. In fact, Jesus prefaced the Sermon on the Mount with,
Matthew 5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.
Therefore, the LAW concerning remarriage after divorce still was in effect (and will be as long as heaven and earth stand!) And Deuteronomy 24:1-4 tells us clearly that it was (is) NOT adultery for one who is divorced, to remarry.
Deuteronomy 24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.
2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.
3 And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife;
4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.
Notice that verse 2 explicitly gives PERMISSION to a woman, to remarry, if she has divorce papers in hand.
In fact, that seems to be the whole purpose of God's command for divorce papers.
God never gave a command to a man to divorce his wife... but if his heart was so hard as to turn her out (Jesus said it was for that reason he would do it!) then he had to give her papers setting her free SO SHE COULD REMARRY.
The only abomination in the whole scenario was not the divorce.
It wasn't even the remarriage.
The ONLY abomination before GOD was if former spouses would get back together, after marrying other spouses.
NOW, since Jesus did not come to do away with this law, what are we to think?
How can this law stand, in light of what He said?
Not one thing Jesus said, destroyed the law. Not. one. thing.
Now, if remarriage after divorce created a situation of continual adultery, then Jesus would have been saying all divorced and remarried couples were SUPPOSED to get back together!
Which would have been commanding us to commit what God said in the LAW, was an ABOMINATION.
Remember, in Romans 7: 7-12, Paul said that he could not have known sin, even in New Covenant times, except by the Law! He also said the Law is holy, and the commandment is holy, and just and good.
And in I John 3:4, John gives this NEW TESTAMENT definition of what sin is:
Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law.
THEREFORE... What Jesus said to the Pharisees must be understood in context of who he was talking to, and what they were doing.
The Pharisees were pretending to keep the law, by looking for a fault--any fault would do-- in their wives, so they could divorce them, to go marry another one. They were looking for an excuse to be unfaithful to their wives.
And they were justifying it by the letter of the law!
And it was THIS heart attitude that Jesus was addressing.
He was not giving a new law. He was saying their putting-away-in-order-to-remarry was caused by a heart attitude of adultery against their wives.
We can look at the New Testament exactly the way the Pharisees looked at the Old.
We can go through it, picking through the words, creating rules and excuses.
And completely miss the whole picture.
Jesus was NOT saying that ANYONE who EVER divorces his wife, and remarries, is living in perpetual adultery. That would contradict the Law. It would destroy the Law.
What Jesus was saying was that anyone who puts away is wife, for the purpose of marrying his girlfriend, is committing adultery (unfaithfulness) against his wife. It was the heart Jesus was talking about.
But that only happens if someone is not a believer. Seriously. Anyone who claims to be a disciple of Jesus, and doesn't do what He says, is not His own.