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Is it okay to date another Christian whose been divorced?

Is it okay to date another Christian whose been divorced?

  • Yes

    Votes: 26 61.9%
  • No

    Votes: 16 38.1%

  • Total voters
    42

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Ok lets put my senario on the table for an example.

First wife had 14 partners before me.
I had 2.
Born again before I was married to her at age 21.

Marriage ended (she chose to leave me) at age 28

I sinned (didn't put God first or accepting pain and tried to relieve my pain) by finding my new partner within 2 months of her separating from me (still technically married)

I stayed and proposed with my new partner until she died 2016
I cheated on her in 2014
We reconciled 2014
She was born again in 2015

My First wife now has a baby with another.

I Loved my partner who just passed the most and put in more effort than any other relationship caring for her as she was passing losing my job to do so..

I feel I'm to remain celibate for the rest of my life because I don't want to sin against God and I want to wait for my second partner in Heaven, is this God's will?

While you have my sympathies for the hardships of life that you have gone thru, I do not believe your second marriage to be approved of by God because you did not divorce on Biblical grounds. Your love for each other is real, the marriage simply was not lawful according to Scripture. It is good that you decided to remain celibate for the rest of your life. Yes. This is God talking to your heart for sure. May you stay strong and faithful to Him the rest of your life, my friend.


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#161 "Okay. So what about the wife who cheated on her husband and she divorced him on Biblical grounds?"

Yes. This is a typo. Sorry about that. I meant to say that what about the wife who cheated on her husband and he divorced her on Biblical grounds?

I will go back and edit it, thank you.

1stcenturylady said:
#165 "(Because the faithful spouse divorced her on the Biblical grounds that she was unfaithful)"

Yes, this is correct.


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I'm_Sorry

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While you have my sympathies for the hardships of life that you have gone thru, I do not believe your second marriage to be approved of by God because you did not divorce on Biblical grounds. Your love for each other is real, the marriage simply was not lawful according to Scripture. It is good that you decided to remain celibate for the rest of your life. Yes. This is God talking to your heart for sure. May you stay strong and faithful to Him the rest of your life, my friend.


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I'm being chastised and was being chastised throughout the relationship (actually since being born again I'm always being chastised! hallelujah God is still with me), and I'm grateful that I was in my partners life until she was born again.

God works for the Good. We may mean if for evil to reference scripture.

It was my empathy for her that I wanted to stay in the unlawful marriage, she had terrible breathing (her lungs were dying) as was she down trodden by the world and by satanic influence and godless ex partners and a mother who didn't accept her and a dad who died when she was young.

One thing I've learnt is that God must be first for a relationship to work.

Men must not worship woman and put her first before God and vice versa.
 
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I'm being chastised and was being chastised throughout the relationship (actually since being born again I'm always being chastised! hallelujah God is still with me), and I'm grateful that I was in my partners life until she was born again.

God works for the Good. We may mean if for evil to reference scripture.

It was my empathy for her that I wanted to stay in the unlawful marriage, she had terrible breathing (her lungs were dying) as was she down trodden by the world and by satanic influence and godless ex partners.

One thing I've learnt that God must be first for a relationship to work.

Men must not worship woman and put her first before God and vice versa.

I am sorry for the life situations you both went thru, but I still do not think your second marriage was lawful, unless your previous partner in marriage cheated on you (while you were married) and you divorced her because of her unfaithfulness.


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1stcenturylady

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I would be open to hearing your case Biblically on this.



Interesting. Thank you for saying that. I will pray about that.
Any more information on this Biblically would be good.
It just seems like the marriage is dissolved in my view because the faithful man is allowed to divorce and remarry. If the previous marriage was not dissolved, then he couldn't remarry. What applies to him, would apply to her because there is no more marriage.


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These are just a few to show how God sees adultery and abominations. This is why sexual sin is spoken of so much. It is not so much of a covenant being broken and freeing two people, as to WHY a covenant is broken, and the vengeance of the Lord on the guilty party. And I'm not talking about BEFORE Christ, as ALL SINS are wiped clean at that point, but WILLFUL sins after Christ is considered trampling on the Spirit of Grace. Grace is not a license to sin.

Leviticus 20:10 ‘The man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, he who commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress, shall surely be put to death."

Leviticus 20:13 "If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them.

Deuteronomy 24:1-“When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, 2 when she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another man’s wife, 3 if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife, 4 then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.

Deuteronomy 22:13 “If any man takes a wife, and goes in to her, and detests her, 14 and charges her with shameful conduct, and brings a bad name on her, and says, ‘I took this woman, and when I came to her I found she was not a virgin,’ 15 then the father and mother of the young woman shall take and bring out the evidence of the young woman’s virginity to the elders of the city at the gate. 16 And the young woman’s father shall say to the elders, ‘I gave my daughter to this man as wife, and he detests her. 17 Now he has charged her with shameful conduct, saying, “I found your daughter was not a virgin,” and yet these are the evidences of my daughter’s virginity.’ And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city. 18 Then the elders of that city shall take that man and punish him; 19 and they shall fine him one hundred shekels of silver and give them to the father of the young woman, because he has brought a bad name on a virgin of Israel. And she shall be his wife; he cannot divorce her all his days.

20 “But if the thing is true, and evidences of virginity are not found for the young woman, 21 then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she has done a disgraceful thing in Israel, to play the harlot in her father’s house. So you shall put away the evil from among you."
 
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I'm_Sorry

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I am sorry for the life situations you both went thru, but I still do not think your second marriage was lawful, unless your previous partner in marriage cheated on you (while you were married) and you divorced her because of her unfaithfulness.
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I don't think it was lawful either yet Christ was there.

And she came to Him.

Fornication, what about fornication?

How many partners did my first wife and I have before our marriage?

Was she/I forgiven and we had a clean slate for the lawful (or unlawful??) marriage?
 
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PeterDona

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I feel I'm to remain celibate for the rest of my life because I don't want to sin against God and I want to wait for my second partner in Heaven, is this God's will?
Yes, this is your situation. Seek for Gods strengthening, my best hopes are for you.
 
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PeterDona

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Can/have you controlled your eye to never lust? and if you lust, you commit adultery with her in your heart.

What do you do if you perpetually commit adultery in your heart while in Christ?
Do as Jesus supposed, pluck out your eye (!) Better to enter into life maimed than with both eyes to be cast into hell fire.
 
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1stcenturylady

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The only way to delete your post is to click "edit" erase it and replace it with a period or a comment to indicate what you did. I just add a period usually.

IOW they can't really be deleted

I already wrote to administration about this problem. They sent it to tech.
 
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I'm_Sorry

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Do as Jesus supposed, pluck out your eye (!) Better to enter into life maimed than with both eyes to be cast into hell fire.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10King James Version (KJV)

9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.



In marriage, can you be guilty of breaking the first commandment by loving your partner more than God?

Can this be perpetual?

Doesn't look good for perpetual fornication (does this include masturbation and use of porn or imaginary sexual stimuli, i think so)

So my question.

Does repentance and accepting God's forgiveness and Grace wipe your slate clean, you may try again or not?

Not related to anyone - I think it's better to ware your rags on the outside than to appear as the Pharisee do.
 
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PeterDona

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Jesus says the exception clause to divorce and remarriage is that your spouse has to cheat on you. You might say that Jesus is only talking about divorce alone, but he wasn't. For if a person can lawfully divorce according to the Bible, is that marriage still intact? Does that marriage still exist? What in your view is Jesus talking about in relation to his words, (except for the cause of fornication) mean to you? How can a person divorce somebody (according to Jesus's exception clause) and still be married to them?
My view on this is, that Jesus is commenting on a specific verse in the Law, that the jewish scholars had expanded beyond its due application. The exception is mentioned only in the Gospel of Matthew which is the Gospel to the hebrew people. Now in their law they had one exception stated, and Jesus clarified that the exception was only included ("by Moses") for the hardness of their hearts, and it only relates to fornication which is sex before marriage. Now, a case of this exception clause is actually described in the beginning of the Gospel of Matthew, when Joseph finds out that his espousee Mary (whom God calls his "wife") seems to have had illicit sexual relations before the marriage. And the comment is, that "Joseph being a just man", while he yet did contemplate to "put her away".

So my answer is, that the exception clause is only regarding if the woman is not a virgin, and it is only viable before the fulfilment of the espousal (the marriage). After that, they are one flesh with no exceptions. Besides, it is only granted to jewish people, there is not exception discussed in the other gospels.
 
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1stcenturylady

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1 Corinthians 6:9-10King James Version (KJV)

9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.



In marriage, can you be guilty of breaking the first commandment by loving your partner more than God?

Can this be perpetual?

Doesn't look good for perpetual fornication (does this include masturbation and use of porn or imaginary sexual stimuli, i think so)

So my question.

Does repentance and accepting God's forgiveness and Grace wipe your slate clean, you may try again or not?

Not related to anyone - I think it's better to ware your rags on the outside than to appear as the Pharisee do.

Of course you can truly repent and be forgiven, But what was our motive in the first place that will make the repentance true? Can a pregnant woman say, "well God knows I'm not strong enough for the ridicule, so I'll have an abortion, and ask God for forgiveness later."

What do we think - God can be mocked? Yikes.
 
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Kenny'sID

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I already wrote to administration about this problem. They sent it to tech.

Best I could figure, to save manpower, they don't want to take the time to deal with posts we want deleted when we can just blank them out. Makes good sense to handle it that way, but I'm not positive that's their reasoning for leaving it like it is.
 
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I'm_Sorry

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Of course you can truly repent and be forgiven, But what was our motive in the first place that will make the repentance true? Can a pregnant woman say, "well God knows I'm not strong enough for the ridicule, so I'll have an abortion, and ask God for forgiveness later."

What do we think - God can be mocked? Yikes.

So in true repentance you have a clean slate in Christ and if its God's will, He may want you to try again?

Not putting words in your mouth, just trying to understand :)

You can repent of the premeditated motive too, that's definitely one to listen to God and pray to reveal before any action.
 
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PeterDona

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So my question.

Does repentance and accepting God's forgiveness and Grace wipe your slate clean, you may try again or not?

Not related to anyone - I think it's better to ware your rags on the outside than to appear as the Pharisee do.
Try what again? Do more adultery?

My answer is, that yes he who believes and is baptized shall be saved out of his sins, but it does not remove previous marriage, if that is what you talk about when using the phrase "clean slate". Otherwise anyone getting baptized would have to go through the process of marrying their spouse again, since baptism had broken the marriage.

Also, I do not believe that adultery "breaks" a marriage. If it did, some of the words in the Bible would not make sense. For your edification I will be specific, that I believe that verses Luke 16:18 and Matthew 19:9 would not make sense if an adultery e.g. in the form of a new marriage broke the old marriage. Otherwise, how then could it be adultery to marry the woman who had been put away, and the other spouse had already remarried?

I read your history to say that your covenant wife is in an adulterous relation (marriage, humanly speaking) with a baby, and she probably will not just break up that relation and return to you. However, your situation is that you are still one flesh with her, and therefore her adultery does not legalize you to go into adultery.
 
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I'm_Sorry

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What dis Christ tell the adulteress woman?

"Go and sin no more."

She had a clean slate, I would guess anyway, but that didn't mean she could continue to do it.


No thats right. But could she have a new marriage in God's way?
 
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1stcenturylady

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So in true repentance you have a clean slate in Christ and if its God's will, He may want you to try again?

Not putting words in your mouth, just trying to understand :)

You can repent of the premeditated motive too, that's definitely one to listen to God and pray to reveal before any action.

To be honest, I haven't followed all of the conversations on here, so point me to the numbered post on the sin you are having trouble with accepting forgiveness.
 
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I'm_Sorry

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Try what again? Do more adultery?
I understand what you're saying here. What I'm asking is are you absolved of your original marriage through repentance and Grace.

What if my partner has repented of the marriage too or is she damned to be a perpetual adulteress?

My answer is, that yes he who believes and is baptized shall be saved out of his sins, but it does not remove previous marriage, if that is what you talk about when using the phrase "clean slate". Otherwise anyone getting baptized would have to go through the process of marrying their spouse again, since baptism had broken the marriage.

So was I legally married in the first place with all our fornication and premarital sex even with each other?

Also, I do not believe that adultery "breaks" a marriage. If it did, some of the words in the Bible would not make sense. For your edification I will be specific, that I believe that verses Luke 16:18 and Matthew 19:9 would not make sense if an adultery e.g. in the form of a new marriage broke the old marriage. Otherwise, how then could it be adultery to marry the woman who had been put away, and the other spouse had already remarried?

I'll look into this thanks :)

I read your history to say that your covenant wife is in an adulterous relation (marriage, humanly speaking) with a baby, and she probably will not just break up that relation and return to you. However, your situation is that you are still one flesh with her, and therefore her adultery does not legalize you to go into adultery.

So I must repent and stay celibate and risk perpetual masturbation and porn or imaginary stimuli?

Each time repenting of masturbating yet succumbing to temptation 6 months down the road?

Does any Christian resist sexual urges unto death without failure or self deception?

Is my first wife damned to be a perpetual adulteress?
 
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