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I want to start looking for a wife. Need advice, please.

Discussion in 'Requests for Christian Advice' started by Camden M, May 17, 2018.

  1. Danielwright2311

    Danielwright2311 Well-Known Member Supporter

    United States
    Now you are the woman, but its no different truly, most all guys want a girl in there life also.

    No one wants to be alone, no one, and the truth is if you give your self a little chance you might be surprised what happens.
  2. Kit Sigmon

    Kit Sigmon Well-Known Member

    In Relationship

    Where you may find the christian girl for you...she could be right under your nose.

    Thing is, most young people be up to they eyeballs in all kinds of debt and aren't in no shape to get married now or even five years from now but many of them
    go ahead and get married... add more debt and one or two children to they rising mountain of debt...ending up divorcing.

    Now, If your education isn't already paid in full, then the type of girl you should
    be on the look for is the one who doesn't have a student loan or a lot of debt.
    She got a job and enjoys it.
    Nine times out of ten, she will be living at home with her parents/parent.
    Her date life is like nada... she's not partying, she's out visiting, helping others/volunteering in her free time.
    When she goes out it's with friends or family.
    She reads a lot.
    She's the one demonstrating the love of Jesus, serving graciously and not seeking
    accolades or attention for herself.
    When she pays a compliment it's sincere and her laughter is music to the ear
    because it's joyful.
    She worships and honors God inside and outside of church.
    You'll find that she's a bargain shopper, she won't be wearing the latest styles.
    The people who know her... love and respect her sincerity and loyalty, when she
    say she will be there, she is there. If there's clean up to do or extra work, she
    will be the one to do it without being pressed.

  3. NW82

    NW82 Well-Known Member

    United States
    All these people saying don't be shy and accept rejection. First of all an introvert isn't going to change into an extrovert so this advice is useless. Also rejection is always a horrible feeling and you telling him to embrace that is horrible. I know because I've been rejected about 1000 times over 9 years....it's bad the 1st time and the 1000th time.
  4. Shek

    Shek Active Member

    United States
    In Relationship
    Pretend they're guys....but instead of talking about sports, approach her with a hello, introduce yourself and ask for her name. If she's not interested, you'll know rather quickly.

    This should go without saying, but....make sure that you don't smell bad. If you stink, game over! If you smoke and she doesn't, you're gonna wreak to her and she'll walk away. And don't forget to pop a breath mint just to be safe.

    When she gives you her name, start off with a compliment....something like "You smell great, what's that scent you're wearing?" Try to start a conversation, small talk to start, but if she doesn't respond and ask any questions for you to answer then you might have some difficulty. If your meeting is a one-sided conversation, then you might wanna move on to the next target? You'll know in the first 5 minutes if she likes you, so don't forget to ask for her phone number.

    Don't let rejection get you down though, just keep trying and your confidence will build with experience.
    Last edited: May 18, 2018
  5. ☦Marius☦

    ☦Marius☦ Murican Supporter

    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Step one - Befriend a guy from a country that still has arranged marriages
    Step two - inconspicuously bring up that you sure wish you were family to him
    Step three - make money, and show it to his parents
    Step four - convert to whatever church he is part of
    Step five - marry his sister
    Step six - Enjoy time with the 10 sons you have

    Works every time. Trust me I'm single.
  6. Man on Fire

    Man on Fire Active Member

    At most colleges, there is a Campus Crusade for Christ and other such events or organizations. Many of these places have had young women looking for their Mrs. Degree.
  7. Andrew Jeremiah

    Andrew Jeremiah Biblical Christian Supporter

    United States
    Godly advice?

    Don't do it.
  8. salt-n-light

    salt-n-light Well-Known Member Supporter

    United States
    Hey that's me!... Although I have alot of debt :(
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  9. R. Hartono

    R. Hartono Well-Known Member

    Just make friends first with them. Greeting them, say hello. Ask her name n Facebook
  10. Strong in Him

    Strong in Him I can do all things through Christ Supporter

    United Kingdom
    I don't know that I can give advice.
    But if you want to be friends with, or get to know, anyone, a smile and a "hello, how are you?" are a good starting point.

    Also, if you show an interest in them; get them to talk about themselves, ask about family etc. Or chat about shared hobbies - assuming you share some and don't make them up just to impress. First of all, you are showing an interest in them, and you are also just being yourself.
    It doesn't guarantee success, or a date - but it's a lot better than someone who has an air of "I need a girlfriend, are you looking for marriage?"
  11. jamesbond007

    jamesbond007 Well-Known Member Supporter

    United States
    In Relationship
    I agree to leave it in the hands of God. Let the Holy Spirit guide you. First and foremost, what this does is make you more attractive. You won't seem desperate. When you are seeking, that's the vibes that you send out. Don't even make a list of the qualities you are looking for in a mate. That's pathetic as usually no one will be able to meet your criteria. Just let it happen.
  12. brinny

    brinny everlovin' shiner of light in dark places Supporter

    Hi Camden, welcome to CF. Pray diligently to God about this, delve into the Bible, especially Proverbs, and as it is written, seek God diligently in all you do, and He will give you the desires of your heart, and that will be because the desires of your heart will be in sync with His will, and He will surely bless you because of it, as He delights in you and rejoices over you with singing.

    "Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." ~Psalm 37:4

    "Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass." ~Psalm 37:5

    In the meantime, delve into whatever He leads you to, regarding a ministry, or living for Him, and as you become involved in serving Him, He will SURELY bring into your path those who are of the same mind, heart, and spirit, and THIS is how you will meet and interact with others who will be a blessing too, including a possible future wife, who will be the closest to a Proverbs 31 woman.

    How phenomenal is THAT??!!

    God bless you Camden. Praying that God blesses yer socks off, brother. :)
  13. OzSpen

    OzSpen Regular Member


    Certainly pray!

    It should help to go to an evangelical, Bible-believing church where there are godly women your age.

    It would be far better than going to SinCity Night Club.

    When I was a little younger than you and an introvert, my boss suggested I join a Rostrum public speaking club. It was one of the greatest things I did. The members nurtured me through my shyness. Toastmasters has become a better known and more extensive public speaking organisation in Australia.

    It helped me to come out of my shell as a communicator.

    May the Lord bless your search.
    Last edited: May 18, 2018
  14. yeshuaslavejeff

    yeshuaslavejeff simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua

    You are blessed - rejoice and give thanks !
    Usually when someone starts 'talking' more with girls, they start getting led into lots of trouble (as you posted, most are not Christian; also note many who claim to be are deceptive) "beauty is vain, and charm is deceitful; but she who fears the Lord is to be praised" (a good wife is a treasure , and difficult to find) .....

    Let God "have the government (of your life) upon His shoulders" ; seek Him always, in everything , and HIs Way,
    and HE WILL DIRECT YOUR STEPS.... even though perhaps with much persecution (for living in the Truth of His Word).
  15. discipler7

    discipler7 Well-Known Member

    Heard Island And Mcdonald Islands
    Please read 1CORINTHIANS.7 about what God wants or prefers for the unmarried.
  16. Sal Robinson

    Sal Robinson Member Supporter

    Friend, I’ll tell you what someone told me…girls want to be apart of the adventure…they don’t want to be the adventure, they want to be apart of the adventure…is your life an adventure? You have to Be adventurous first before you even think about women….. the only way to have an adventure to follow jesus, get out of your comfort zone…and follow his call for your life!

    God Bless You Camden M :)
  17. JoeP222w

    JoeP222w Well-Known Member

    Start by asking God for His choice for wife for you. And even though you don't know who she is yet, pray for her.

    Are you actively involved in a local bible believing church? If not, why? If you are, do they have young adult groups (18-25 years old)? If they do, become involved in the group. If they do not, seek a Christian young adult group in your local area to become involved in. You never know what friends that might lead you to, and then perhaps a young woman who is pursuing Christ.

    Patience is very key. God has a timetable for your life and He knows what will happen when. I married my beautiful wife later in my life and I am so very grateful to God for her and that He caused me to wait. If I had started dating in my 20s or 30s, any relationship I would have been would not have been done very well at all.

    Things not to do:
    Do not seek after a lady who is not a Christian or shows no fruit of the work of Christ in her life. If you seek after an unbeliever, you will be unequally yoked and she will attempt to draw you away from Christ. Solomon is a great example that we should never knowingly have an unbelieving wife.

    Dating sites are not recommended, even Christian dating sites. While it is possible to meet a Godly woman from a dating site, it is very difficult to really get to know them initially.

    Again, the important thing is to ask God and to have patience.
  18. Andrew Jeremiah

    Andrew Jeremiah Biblical Christian Supporter

    United States
    Hey! That's me! Although I am a boy and my Father has alot of debt. :wave:
  19. Jon Osterman

    Jon Osterman Well-Known Member

    United Kingdom
    My advice would be to forget about it. Put it aside and pray about it. You only need God, and a girlfriend will just distract you from Him. You have shown already that you can cope without a relationship, so why burden yourself with one now?
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  20. Hidden In Him

    Hidden In Him Well-Known Member Supporter

    OK, let me explain something to you. At the same time I was praying for a wife, I would be praying that the Lord revealed to me what my calling was. When you know what you were created to be, you will all the more recognize what you need in a wife. Plus, if you can begin to walk in your ministry (whatever it may be), that is where you may meet her and instantly recognize what an asset she is to you.

    But for now, just pray for His grace to put her in your path.