I want to start looking for a wife. Need advice, please.

[dqhall]

Hi. God bless! I just made an account here and I'm hoping I can find some Godly advice here.

About me first. I'm a male that's about to turn 22. I've never dated, kissed, or even held hands with a girl. Mostly becasue I'm shy. I'm short height wise (5'7") and about average looks wise. Most importantly, I became a Christian about three years ago. It's been the best thing that's ever happened to me. My life has meaning now and I love the God that I serve.

I just really think that God wants me to start trying to date and maybe start looking for a potential wife. I still have a couple years of college left so I don't want to be married really soon, but I think it's time to at least start looking. Also, I'm just wanting to share my life with somebody, have a companion.

There are lots of girls at my college but most aren't Christians. And quite a few party often. That's not the type of girl I want. I'm looking for somebody that would make a good wife and mom and that's a devout Christian.

So... where could I find a girl like this? What things should I look for in a girl? How can I prepare myself and better myself for her? Finally, do you have any tips on how best to pray for God to lead me to her? Sorry for all the questions.

Thanks!

You may search for a woman with similar ethics and goals.

According to PEW Research: "...18- to 24-year-olds who use online dating has roughly tripled from 10% in 2013 to 27% today."

Another article claimed 30% of recent marriages started with online dating.

My parents married when they were seniors in college. My dad was commissioned as an Air Force officer after graduating. They met while attending the same psychology class. Most marriages of college educated people happen after college graduates have found jobs.

 

[joshua 1 9]

What things should I look for in a girl?

Go to the book of Leviticus and read the requirements for the priesthood and find a girl that takes her priesthood before God serious. As I am sure you take your priesthood before God serious. Also you can go anywhere in the world to find a wife, you do not have to find one from your own country. The Mormons even go beyond the Aaron priesthood and they talk about the Melchizedek priesthood. Usually that has to do with the ones that are serving as missionaries. If you search for the most Godly girl you can find then you can avoid a lot of problems in life. Try to find a girl that is active in a ministry doing something to serve God, even if it is just to teach one Sunday school class a week or something like that. So you know that she has a heart to love and serve God. Of course she is going to expect all the same in you. She is going to be looking for the most pure, loving and devoted Christian that she can find.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

I just really think that God wants me to start trying to date and maybe start looking for a potential wife. I still have a couple years of college left so I don't want to be married really soon, but I think it's time to at least start looking. Also, I'm just wanting to share my life with somebody, have a companion.

believers tend to put a religious spin on what is nothing more than their own emotions.

if you don't believe you're ready to marry at this time then you don't need to be putting yourself and a God loving woman at risk by being romantically involved with them. it'll just lead to you into doing things you're not supposed to do with each other.

in the mean time, finish up your education, get yourself economically ready to support a family, and start working on yourself ie. getting in shape, developing interpersonal skills, etc.

tell anyone who is telling you that there is something wrong with you for not being involved with a female right now to take a long walk off a short pier. whether it's your parents, your pastor, your friends, whatever, utterly reject any of that peer pressure.

 

[RaymondG]

Hi. God bless! I just made an account here and I'm hoping I can find some Godly advice here.

About me first. I'm a male that's about to turn 22. I've never dated, kissed, or even held hands with a girl. Mostly becasue I'm shy. I'm short height wise (5'7") and about average looks wise. Most importantly, I became a Christian about three years ago. It's been the best thing that's ever happened to me. My life has meaning now and I love the God that I serve.

I just really think that God wants me to start trying to date and maybe start looking for a potential wife. I still have a couple years of college left so I don't want to be married really soon, but I think it's time to at least start looking. Also, I'm just wanting to share my life with somebody, have a companion.

There are lots of girls at my college but most aren't Christians. And quite a few party often. That's not the type of girl I want. I'm looking for somebody that would make a good wife and mom and that's a devout Christian.

So... where could I find a girl like this? What things should I look for in a girl? How can I prepare myself and better myself for her? Finally, do you have any tips on how best to pray for God to lead me to her? Sorry for all the questions.

Thanks!

My advice....... Thank God for the Wife and happy family he has already given you...and forget about it. Focus on your studies and your personal relationship with God.

If you start giving God specifics....e.g. devout Christian, Godly women, no brothers etc... you will end up with someone you may be unhappy with.

When you start trying to look out for your wife....start trying to talk more to girls....change your personality to attract girls....dwell on finding a wife....You Have effectively told God to Stop His process of giving you a wife because you feel that you can do a better job at it. And He Will stop, and let you find your own.....and this is not a bad thing....you have free will to do so.

I always had a desire to start a family after graduating college....I was always Shy but also, never really thought about girls during or before college. Had no girlfriend. My only concern in college, was finishing as fast as i could and playing basketball. Yet, that desire was in me as a child, to start a family after I graduated....i even knew the number of kids i wanted etc.. but these things didnt stay on my mind....didnt even think it was worth dwelling on until after i finished school. I never prayed for a wife! never! (consciously)

Yet, your thoughts and desires are prayers. God knew my desire....and because I didnt mess with His work....He gave me the desire of my heart.

It turned out that a there was a girl I took a class with in my first year.....thought she was nice...never talked to her or thought about her.....I ended up being forced to work with her in a summer program my last year in college. still spoke and had fun when needed as a result of the job...never thinking of her more. Then after i graduated...we continued to talk. She became my first GF and only wife. And I have the same amount of children I envisioned as a child.

God can do amazing things if we let him. Had I tried to "find a wife" it would not have gone as I envision it.

 

[mama2one]

husband and are are both introverts
I was working nights and going to college days
the same company needed to transfer him and he had a choice between two states
he ended up choosing my state

one day he asked me out and don't know how it happened but 2 mos later, we were engaged
believe God worked things for us to be a couple

he was kind, respected me, and thoughtful (and still is)


so fwiw, be yourself.....

 

[Christie insb]

Throw yourself out there and fail for a few years and use trial and error like anything else.

Yes. I heard about a study where they have the person ask out like, 10 people a day. You get used to being told no, and you get some dates. But you seem like a sincere young man. Going somewhere where there are girls who would be appropriate for you would be a first step. An on campus Christian group, church with a college/young adult group, etc. Work is a great way to meet people because you get to know the person gradually. I always found working part time in college had a lot of benefits.

 

[MournfulWatcher]

Hi. God bless! I just made an account here and I'm hoping I can find some Godly advice here.

About me first. I'm a male that's about to turn 22. I've never dated, kissed, or even held hands with a girl. Mostly becasue I'm shy. I'm short height wise (5'7") and about average looks wise. Most importantly, I became a Christian about three years ago. It's been the best thing that's ever happened to me. My life has meaning now and I love the God that I serve.

I just really think that God wants me to start trying to date and maybe start looking for a potential wife. I still have a couple years of college left so I don't want to be married really soon, but I think it's time to at least start looking. Also, I'm just wanting to share my life with somebody, have a companion.

There are lots of girls at my college but most aren't Christians. And quite a few party often. That's not the type of girl I want. I'm looking for somebody that would make a good wife and mom and that's a devout Christian.

So... where could I find a girl like this? What things should I look for in a girl? How can I prepare myself and better myself for her? Finally, do you have any tips on how best to pray for God to lead me to her? Sorry for all the questions.

Thanks!

Here's some practical advice, from a girl also seeking the right guy; get involved in activities on your college campus. The best way to build any relationship, either romantic or platonic, is through doing activities together that you both enjoy. It will help you to get out of your shell and meet new people and gain new experiences.

Also, worry less about getting into a relationship and be more mindful of getting new friendships. Not only is it great to have friends, this may also open opportunities for you to date. It also helps that thinking about friendships is less stressful than thinking about needing to impress a girl, so if you approach people (and girls) with that frame of mind you'll seem more confident. Girls will be more attracted to you that way, and eventually you'll feel more comfortable about asking them on a date.

 

[pinkjess]

I'm 24 and feel the same. We're too young I think, brother. Trust God's timetable and focus on other things. Girls are trouble, take it from me XD

 

[Episaw]

I agree to leave it in the hands of God. Let the Holy Spirit guide you. First and foremost, what this does is make you more attractive. You won't seem desperate. When you are seeking, that's the vibes that you send out. Don't even make a list of the qualities you are looking for in a mate. That's pathetic as usually no one will be able to meet your criteria. Just let it happen.

I heard a story of how a young woman who found her knight in shining armour. She told God she wanted to get married and could he find her a husband. Six months later nothing had happened, so she dialled up God again and asked him what was going on. He said that she had not told him what sort of husband she wanted.

So she told him all the attributes she was looking for. Tall, blonde, slim, nice smile and so on. A few weeks later in a meeting, there was a tall, blonde, slim guy with a nice smile. They were married a few months later.

 

[Episaw]

I'm 24 and feel the same. We're too young I think, brother. Trust God's timetable and focus on other things. Girls are trouble, take it from me XD

I have been married 48 years and have two children and 11 grandchildren, nine of which are girls so I know what I am talking about.

Once you are married do not under any circumstances try and understand your wife. As I have said to my wife more than once "You are not logical." Her reply is "Yes I know."

 

[pinkjess]

I heard a story of how a young woman who found her knight in shining armour. She told God she wanted to get married and could he find her a husband. Six months later nothing had happened, so she dialled up God again and asked him what was going on. He said that she had not told him what sort of husband she wanted.

So she told him all the attributes she was looking for. Tall, blonde, slim, nice smile and so on. A few weeks later in a meeting, there was a tall, blonde, slim guy with a nice smile. They were married a few months later.

Is this real ?! XD

 

[Invalidusername]

Short answer: Church

Long tl;dr answer: I am in the same situation as you but older. I still haven't found anyone. But I know the best place to look is in a church.

 

[Invalidusername]

Here's some practical advice, from a girl also seeking the right guy; get involved in activities on your college campus. The best way to build any relationship, either romantic or platonic, is through doing activities together that you both enjoy. It will help you to get out of your shell and meet new people and gain new experiences.

Also, worry less about getting into a relationship and be more mindful of getting new friendships. Not only is it great to have friends, this may also open opportunities for you to date. It also helps that thinking about friendships is less stressful than thinking about needing to impress a girl, so if you approach people (and girls) with that frame of mind you'll seem more confident. Girls will be more attracted to you that way, and eventually you'll feel more comfortable about asking them on a date.

It's not easy for an introverted guy to do that which is what OP seems to be. Not everyone is an extrovert.

 

[MournfulWatcher]

It's not easy for an introverted guy to do that which is what OP seems to be. Not everyone is an extrovert.

Dude, I'm like the biggest introvert ever. Being an introvert doesn't mean you're antisocial or shy or you don't like to do things with people. I'm not calling it easy, as an introvert I have to make more of an effort to make friends but the rewards are worth it. You're not gonna find a girlfriend by sitting at home, you're gonna find one by going out and meeting people. You can still take time for yourself and also do activities with people.

 

[Episaw]

Is this real ?! XD

I don't know what XD means so I can't answer your question.

 

[GirdYourLoins]

Hi. God bless! I just made an account here and I'm hoping I can find some Godly advice here.

About me first. I'm a male that's about to turn 22. I've never dated, kissed, or even held hands with a girl. Mostly becasue I'm shy. I'm short height wise (5'7") and about average looks wise. Most importantly, I became a Christian about three years ago. It's been the best thing that's ever happened to me. My life has meaning now and I love the God that I serve.

I just really think that God wants me to start trying to date and maybe start looking for a potential wife. I still have a couple years of college left so I don't want to be married really soon, but I think it's time to at least start looking. Also, I'm just wanting to share my life with somebody, have a companion.

There are lots of girls at my college but most aren't Christians. And quite a few party often. That's not the type of girl I want. I'm looking for somebody that would make a good wife and mom and that's a devout Christian.

So... where could I find a girl like this? What things should I look for in a girl? How can I prepare myself and better myself for her? Finally, do you have any tips on how best to pray for God to lead me to her? Sorry for all the questions.

Thanks!

Ive always believed that God leaves it for us to choose a wife and Ive heard too many stories about people who thought God would do it for them and they have got it spectacularly wrong, often ending up in never getting married or divorce. One person I spoke to in particular comes to mind. He was dating a girl he loved and wanted to marry but said that God audibly spoke to him and said he would marry a woman he knew but had no feelings for. As a result he broke up with the girl he loved to wait for this other woman. They never got married. I believe this was a demonic deception to stop him marrying the woman he should have. At the time when he told me about it I said I felt in my spirit it wasn't from God but he wouldnt listen.

So my advice is date, develop your relationship skills and when you are sure its the right one take it to the next level and see where it leads. Dont rush into it.

 

[AlexDTX]

Hi. God bless! I just made an account here and I'm hoping I can find some Godly advice here.

About me first. I'm a male that's about to turn 22. I've never dated, kissed, or even held hands with a girl. Mostly becasue I'm shy. I'm short height wise (5'7") and about average looks wise. Most importantly, I became a Christian about three years ago. It's been the best thing that's ever happened to me. My life has meaning now and I love the God that I serve.

I just really think that God wants me to start trying to date and maybe start looking for a potential wife. I still have a couple years of college left so I don't want to be married really soon, but I think it's time to at least start looking. Also, I'm just wanting to share my life with somebody, have a companion.

There are lots of girls at my college but most aren't Christians. And quite a few party often. That's not the type of girl I want. I'm looking for somebody that would make a good wife and mom and that's a devout Christian.

So... where could I find a girl like this? What things should I look for in a girl? How can I prepare myself and better myself for her? Finally, do you have any tips on how best to pray for God to lead me to her? Sorry for all the questions.

Thanks!

Don't look for a wife. Run after Jesus as fast as you can, then while you are running look to see who is running alongside you. That will probably be your wife.

 

[Invalidusername]

Dude, I'm like the biggest introvert ever. Being an introvert doesn't mean you're antisocial or shy or you don't like to do things with people. I'm not calling it easy, as an introvert I have to make more of an effort to make friends but the rewards are worth it. You're not gonna find a girlfriend by sitting at home, you're gonna find one by going out and meeting people. You can still take time for yourself and also do activities with people.

Except you have the advantage of being a woman which mean men will approach you. Women don't approach men which makes it 500% harder for intoverted men to find a wife. I understand you think this solution will work for OP but I guarantee you it won't unless he starts approaching women himself.

 

[MournfulWatcher]

Except you have the advantage of being a woman which mean men will approach you. Women don't approach men which makes it 500% harder for intoverted men to find a wife. I understand you think this solution will work for OP but I guarantee you it won't unless he starts approaching women himself.

? I never said he shouldn't approach women. I said he could find women by going out and doing things on his campus and meeting girls that share his interest, like joining a club or study group. How else is he supposed to meet women? And men don't approach women as often as you think unless you're at a bar (which I don't recommend for meeting women).

 

[Invalidusername]

? I never said he shouldn't approach women. I said he could find women by going out and doing things on his campus and meeting girls that share his interest. And men don't approach women as often as you think unless you're at a club (which I don't recommend).

I understand. I am just saying that telling someone to go outside more and socialize doesn't always help with the getting into a relationship part. There is a reason men complain about getting friend-zoned too often and I think its because they follow your directions and don't make it clear that they are looking for a relationship. Thus they end up being kind of the buddy of everyone until they actually change it up and be more aggressive in their approach.

And about the clubs, yes that's absolutely true. When I was in my backslidden years I can absolute attest to the fact that alcohol makes it 500% easier to approach.