I want to start looking for a wife. Need advice, please.

[Camden M]

Hi. God bless! I just made an account here and I'm hoping I can find some Godly advice here.

About me first. I'm a male that's about to turn 22. I've never dated, kissed, or even held hands with a girl. Mostly becasue I'm shy. I'm short height wise (5'7") and about average looks wise. Most importantly, I became a Christian about three years ago. It's been the best thing that's ever happened to me. My life has meaning now and I love the God that I serve.

I just really think that God wants me to start trying to date and maybe start looking for a potential wife. I still have a couple years of college left so I don't want to be married really soon, but I think it's time to at least start looking. Also, I'm just wanting to share my life with somebody, have a companion.

There are lots of girls at my college but most aren't Christians. And quite a few party often. That's not the type of girl I want. I'm looking for somebody that would make a good wife and mom and that's a devout Christian.

So... where could I find a girl like this? What things should I look for in a girl? How can I prepare myself and better myself for her? Finally, do you have any tips on how best to pray for God to lead me to her? Sorry for all the questions.

Thanks!

 

[Episaw]

Hi. God bless! I just made an account here and I'm hoping I can find some Godly advice here.

About me first. I'm a male that's about to turn 22. I've never dated, kissed, or even held hands with a girl. Mostly becasue I'm shy. I'm short height wise (5'7") and about average looks wise. Most importantly, I became a Christian about three years ago. It's been the best thing that's ever happened to me. My life has meaning now and I love the God that I serve.

I just really think that God wants me to start trying to date and maybe start looking for a potential wife. I still have a couple years of college left so I don't want to be married really soon, but I think it's time to at least start looking. Also, I'm just wanting to share my life with somebody, have a companion.

There are lots of girls at my college but most aren't Christians. And quite a few party often. That's not the type of girl I want. I'm looking for somebody that would make a good wife and mom and that's a devout Christian.

So... where could I find a girl like this? What things should I look for in a girl? How can I prepare myself and better myself for her? Finally, do you have any tips on how best to pray for God to lead me to her? Sorry for all the questions.

Thanks!

Stop looking and ask God to find one for you. When he does, you will know that is the one.

 

[Mel2020]

There’s a Sunday School song that goes like this;

Read your bible and pray everyday
Pray everyday
Pray everyday
Read your bible and pray everyday
And you’ll grow, grow, grow

In case you’re wondering what I’m suggesting, I suggest you pray and seek God earnestly for a wife.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

I believe theres an app for that.

 

[Camden M]

Stop looking and ask God to find one for you. When he does, you will know that is the one.

Good advice. But, I need to know how to approach girls and talk to them. I can't really do that right now. And unfortunately, I don't believe that a girl is going to walk up to me and ask me to marry her.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Good advice. But, I need to know how to approach girls and talk to them. I can't really do that right now. And unfortunately, I don't believe that a girl is going to walk up to me and ask me to marry her.

Throw yourself out there and fail for a few years and use trial and error like anything else.

 

[Sketcher]

Still single here, so all I can tell you is what not to do.

Don't wait for God to clearly point her out to you. It may work out for some ministry students, but it doesn't work for everybody.
Don't count on her ever being interested in you if you are "friends first." It works for some people, but not everybody.
Don't cease to put some sort of effort into seeking her out. Well-meaning people will tell you to stop trying, and one day, she'll just come to you. That may work for extroverts, but if you are introverted and/or shy, this is terrible advice.
Don't wait for her to contact you to set up a date. You get her number, contact her, and hammer out the concrete details.
Don't ask a girl out twice if she has rejected you once. If she changes her mind, she has to ask you out.
Don't think that you can or should date a girl to help clean up her life. You should be a sanctifying force, but you're not the one to cure addictions, codependency issues, self-harm, etc. That's what her counselor and Jesus are for.

I'll post more stuff as I think of it.

 

[Not David]

Still single here, so all I can tell you is what not to do.

Don't wait for God to clearly point her out to you. It may work out for some ministry students, but it doesn't work for everybody.
Don't count on her ever being interested in you if you are "friends first." It works for some people, but not everybody.
Don't cease to put some sort of effort into seeking her out. Well-meaning people will tell you to stop trying, and one day, she'll just come to you. That may work for extroverts, but if you are introverted and/or shy, this is terrible advice.
Don't wait for her to contact you to set up a date. You get her number, contact her, and hammer out the concrete details.
Don't ask a girl out twice if she has rejected you once. If she changes her mind, she has to ask you out.
Don't think that you can or should date a girl to help clean up her life. You should be a sanctifying force, but you're not the one to cure addictions, codependency issues, self-harm, etc. That's what her counselor and Jesus are for.

I'll post more stuff as I think of it.

I would add avoiding being needy. People will think you have no life if the only thing you do is to contact that person.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Don't count on her ever being interested in you if you are "friends first."

This can work assuming you flirt fairly early in the "friendship" after showing her your amazing personality.

 

[Sketcher]

This can work assuming you flirt fairly early in the "friendship" after showing her your amazing personality.

Again, it doesn't work for everybody. I can't advise anything with such a high rate of failure as this.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Again, it doesn't work for everybody. I can't advise anything with such a high rate of failure as this.

You can't win if you aren't in. And you aren't gonna be in if she rejects you asking her out right away. You just have to feel it out of course, depending on what you think you have a better chance of getting her to say yes to.

 

[Sketcher]

You can't win if you aren't in. And you aren't gonna be in if she rejects you asking her out right away. You just have to feel it out of course, depending on what you think you have a better chance of getting her to say yes to.

There are many women who just let a guy in who hasn't put in the time to get to know her well yet.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

There are many women who just let a guy in who hasn't put in the time to get to know her well yet.

Of course. You have to gauge the situation and go with what you think has the best chance.

 

[Danielwright2311]

Good advice. But, I need to know how to approach girls and talk to them. I can't really do that right now. And unfortunately, I don't believe that a girl is going to walk up to me and ask me to marry her.

First thing is you need to stop being shy

Rejection is a part of life, when you can learn to live with rejection then asking others out on a date is easy because you dont care if your rejected or how you look after.

If you ask 100 girls out on a date I guaranty you 100 percent by the third girl she will say yes, woman are also needy just like men, we are all the same and they also want a man in there life, this is a fact.

My point is stop being shy.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

woman are also needy just like men, we are all the same and they also want a man in there life, this is a fact.

Yeah I think something a lot of inexperienced men don't realize is women want a relationship as bad as you do. Just it may not seem that way since a lot of women are just in autoreject mode and you may think they all are like that.

 

[Mel2020]

First thing is you need to stop being shy

Rejection is a part of life, when you can learn to live with rejection then asking others out on a date is easy because you dont care if your rejected or how you look after.

If you ask 100 girls out on a date I guaranty you 100 percent by the third girl she will say yes, woman are also needy just like men, we are all the same and they also want a man in there life, this is a fact.

My point is stop being shy.

That’s my problem lol.

 

[Episaw]

Good advice. But, I need to know how to approach girls and talk to them. I can't really do that right now. And unfortunately, I don't believe that a girl is going to walk up to me and ask me to marry her.

If God is doing the choosing you don't need to know how to talk to girls. When he presents Miss Right to you then you will know and you will be able to talk to her as she is the only one that matters.

 

[Not David]

If God is doing the choosing you don't need to know how to talk to girls. When he presents Miss Right to you then you will know and you will be able to talk to her as she is the only one that matters.

I feel that's like saying one shouldn't be prepared for a job because God's going to give you the job anyway. God also wants us to take action while believing he is in command.

 

[Episaw]

I feel that's like saying one shouldn't be prepared for a job because God's going to give you the job anyway. God also wants us to take action while believing he is in command.

If that is what you want to believe go right ahead. My faith and my experience tells me that is not necessary.

 

[RisenInJesus]

Hi. God bless! I just made an account here and I'm hoping I can find some Godly advice here.

About me first. I'm a male that's about to turn 22. I've never dated, kissed, or even held hands with a girl. Mostly becasue I'm shy. I'm short height wise (5'7") and about average looks wise. Most importantly, I became a Christian about three years ago. It's been the best thing that's ever happened to me. My life has meaning now and I love the God that I serve.

I just really think that God wants me to start trying to date and maybe start looking for a potential wife. I still have a couple years of college left so I don't want to be married really soon, but I think it's time to at least start looking. Also, I'm just wanting to share my life with somebody, have a companion.

There are lots of girls at my college but most aren't Christians. And quite a few party often. That's not the type of girl I want. I'm looking for somebody that would make a good wife and mom and that's a devout Christian.



So... where could I find a girl like this? What things should I look for in a girl? How can I prepare myself and better myself for her? Finally, do you have any tips on how best to pray for God to lead me to her? Sorry for all the questions.

Thanks!

Are you part of a church or a Bible Club at college? If you are shy it would be easier and probably best in the long run to be spending time with other Christian young people serving the Lord together and getting to girls as friends in the Lord, while praying and trusting God to reveal and draw you to the right one when the time is right.