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You are making a strawman cowboy.Maybe this forum is full of male feminists who think men shouldn't provide for women, and women shouldn't be housewives.
If you want to find a traditional wife who is also willing to marry a Western man, Southeast Asia
you haven't spent enough time on this forum to see that gurney is genuinely not easily offendedYou do seem easily offended.
nopeYou guys actually think providing for a poor woman is gross.
because economics determines truth and morality. right...the existence of Dowry practices prove women needed providing for by men. The Dowry makes no economic sense otherwise.
I guess you didnt understand my comment as it's about how women discriminate against blue collar men.
These are NYC women (actually the many 40+ plus year old Greek-Cypriot women I personally know from NY) who refuse to date men with anything less than a masters degree and a 6 figure income salary, but wonder why they are not married while their less attractive friends have been happily married for years.
Dictionaries usually go all PC in their definitions. Women in history needed providing for. That's a fact.
If someone else is grossed out by poor Asian women marrying up, that's their taste. I certainly don't agree with it.
He committed a strawman by claiming I was talking about marrying a woman who was only interested in moving to America and not for a loving marriage.
Nothing wrong with marrying a poor Asian woman. If he's having a hard time finding a traditional woman in his country, he could go elsewhere. What's gross about that?
You do seem easily offended. Or did you assume I meant marry a woman who wanted only money and not a loving marriage as well? In that case, you committed a straw-man or false assumption. Whichever.
Wow. I'm disgusted by this forum. You guys actually think providing for a poor woman is gross.
Or did you think it's not possible for a poor woman to want a loving marriage AND to move to a wealthier country? I never said to marry a woman without love.
It's not. These white guys make all sorts of assumptions because they're scared to talk about race relations. I'm not.
Maybe this forum is full of male feminists who think men shouldn't provide for women, and women shouldn't be housewives.
Maybe this forum is full of male feminists who think men shouldn't provide for women, and women shouldn't be housewives.
Clearly everyone made their own assumptions and got offended by them, then claim I was the one attacking straw-men.
I doubt this would've happened in a face-to-face conversation.
Wow. I'm disgusted by this forum. You guys actually think providing for a poor woman is gross.
Or did you think it's not possible for a poor woman to want a loving marriage AND to move to a wealthier country? I never said to marry a woman without love.
What I’ve heard is that one should train to be a monastic and stay in that mindset until someone comes into their lives. If that is the mindset, then the manifestation of “non-neediness”/having faith in God’s Providence happens without anxiety or despair. Then again, this is an ideal that I’m struggling with.This thread has been greatly turned away from its purpose. Thank you to those who have tried to turn it back.
Does anyone have any further advice for those of us in situations like the OP? We all recognize that it is not good that man or woman should be alone.
What I’ve heard is that one should train to be a monastic and stay in that mindset
What I’ve heard is that one should train to be a monastic and stay in that mindset until someone comes into their lives. If that is the mindset, then the manifestation of “non-neediness”/having faith in God’s Providence happens without anxiety or despair. Then again, this is an ideal that I’m struggling with.
Essentially, the principle is to seek God and put all of one’s energy, desire, and attentiveness on Him and then let everything else follow. If someone comes alongside you during the time of seeking God and putting one’s energy, desire, and attentiveness into Him; His commandments, prayer, fasting, alms, etc..., then the right person will come alongside you in that vision, if it is His will.Can you expound on this principle please? It sounds similar to what I’m employing in my life. But I’d love to hear another perspective.
Prayer to St. Xenia of Petersburg also helps I’ve heard.
Not sure. I do the same as you.Is there a specific prayer? I ask for her petitions most days but I don't actually have any specific prayers for her on the issue.
I found this prayer on St. Gregory of Palamas Outreach page (saintgregoryoutreach.org) under the title of "Prayer to Find a Spouse", so I assume it is acceptable in the EO tradition (I see nothing in it that I couldn't also pray, even though I'm not aware if we have something this specific in my tradition):
All-Good and Merciful Lord, I know that any enduring happiness in my life dependeth upon my wholehearted love for Thee and upon mine actions according to Thy holy will in all things; wherefore, direct my soul, O God, and fill my heart. I seek to please Thee alone, for Thou art my Creator and my God. Preserve me from pride and self-love. Let reason, modesty and chastity adorn me. Idleness is hateful unto Thee and breedeth vice; grant unto me the inclination to be fruitful in labor, and bless Thou my work.
Thy law commandeth that man and wife live in chaste matrimonial union; wherefore lead me, Holy Father, to this blessed calling not for the satisfaction of passions but unto the fulfillment of Thy commandment; for Thou hast said that it is not good that man should live alone and, having created woman as his helper, Thou blessest them to be fruitful and multiply that they may fill the earth.
Hear my humble prayer, which ascendeth unto Thee from the depths of my heart: Grant unto me an honest and pious spouse that, through our love and harmony, together we may praise Thee, our Compassionate God, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages.
Amen.
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