Hello
@Judith Works! First off,
WELCOME TO CF
Have you called your pastor about this yet? If not, that's the first thing I would do in your situation, to get his advice and so that he can be praying for you all (also, unlike us here at CF, he knows both of you personally
).
The pronoun thing is a bit bizarre. "I'm going to the zoo tomorrow and he said that he would like to go too. Is it ok for me to take him?" ~vs~ "I'm going to the zoo tomorrow and they said that they would like to go too. Is it ok if I take them". I would, no doubt, forget and use singular pronouns in the case of my granddaughter (if she ever asked me to do what your grandson is asking you to do). Then again, pronouns are not what you will be using when you talk to him/them, "Nova" will be (if you decide to go that way, that is .. I would ask him if it's ok to just keep calling him "Noah" because you are uncomfortable calling him "Nova", because of what you believe, because of how you feel, and because you are concerned about him).
I'm with
@Hazelelponi as I think that whatever you choose to do should be done out of concern and love for him, ~particularly~ if you end up believing that the Lord would have you take a tough love approach. Let the Gospel be the offensive part (since it already is for non-Christians) when the time is right (he is just 13 and 13 yr olds do not think/reason like adults, obviously .. so who knows what is really behind his decision?).
That said, I have also found that honesty is a very important part of loving others (so I also think that it is important to tell your grandson what you believe and why, AND how you feel and why).
While we know that, "
love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth" ..
1 Corinthians 13:6, we are also commanded to "
speak the truth .. in love" ..
Ephesians 4:15. So be sure tell him that you love him, no matter what, but also tell him that you are very concerned for him because of what God tells us in the Bible (and be prepared to show him ~if~ he asks you to show him what you are talking about/what the Bible says). And when you show him what the Bible says, I would also "ask" him what what he thinks/how he feels and let him draw his own conclusions (always remembering that the first two ingredients in loving someone else are
patience and kindness ..
1 Corinthians 13:4, and that giving the truth to someone to consider does not mean that they will change their views because of it on the spot, but that they may end up doing so down the road a bit .. we are seed planters, yes?).
So, familiarize yourself with the pertinent Biblical passages and consider what they are saying, pray continually for your grandson, and be sure to talk to your pastor for his counsel and prayers. Make sure that your grandson knows that you love him (and how important he is to you), first and foremost, and that nothing he does is ever going to change that fact, then talk to him about all of this when the time is right (this is what I believe that I would do if the same thing happened in the case of my granddaughter, as well asking her why she made the name changes, and why she believed that it was a good idea to do so?)
Praying for you and for your husband (and for your grandson and for your daughter too).
God bless you! (
Numbers 6:24-26)
--David
Philippians 4
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
.