What should i do?

[Neostarwcc]

So for those who don't know me from a pig in the mud I'll explain. I've been close online friends with somebody who is transgendered for the past 5 years or so. We've really become close and great friends and I generally can tell and ask him anything and naturally being a Christian myself I've tried to lead him to Christ over the last 5 years. He acknowledges that Jesus is the Messiah now but hasn't changed his ways or stopped transitioning which to me explains that he really doesn't have Jesus.

Long story short he cut off all ties with my wife and I and our Bible study group and i just learned that he attempted to harm himself and had to spend the last two months in a Psychiatric facility to get his meds straightened out and to make sure he doesnt try to harm himself again. During the first few weeks he had to be constantly watched over and was at high risk and they apparently have got his meds straightened out which is one reason why he had such a long stay this time. This wasn't the first time and probably won't be the last time that he's had to go away for a while. He's had a VERY hard life and my wife and i are really the only true friends he has.

This is the second time in the last five years that he has cut off all ties with us and if it ever happens again I will more than likely call the police in his area because he has proven that when he blocks and removes us from everywhere as friends that he's in a really dark and bad place. I know his name and what town he lives in and can figure out his address if I ever had to do so.

Now that God has graced me with his friendship again I don't want to give up on him or on his depression. I really think that if he had a genuine and deeper encounter with Jesus and if he gets on the right meds that my wife and I could really turn his life around and keep him out of the hospital and perhaps living a much more Jesus like life.

When he was in the hospital they adjusted his meds so he seems to have a much more positive outlook on life but i am concerned that if this happens again that he might not be around anymore or if something ever happened to me that he wouldnt be around anymore. he is the closest to me and I can't always be there to watch over him and look out for him and I want to do everything I can possibly do before I pass away and my service to Christ is over. Which, if I don't start taking care of myself might be sooner than any of us would ever want but my doctor and i are working on that.

Mostly I only care about him and don't want him to live like this. It saddens me everytime he goes on a drinking binge or everytime I have to tell him to stop sleeping with men and try to find a girlfriend. Despite my Christian views we always remain friends and we will probably be friends forever. But it's kind of awkward having conversations like this because he knows that God doesn't approve of these kinds of things and that I'm going to beg him to stop.

Idk, I'm waiting for God to continue working in his life I have seen him make fantastic strides only to fall again. I don't know what I can do or what I can say to make him understand just how much i care. But he does appreciate me which tbch, makes me feel good. But, at the same time it hurts me so much to see him like this. What can I do besides support him? Any ideas?

 

[Joseph G]

Keep doing EXACTLY what you are doing.

My best friend in Christ for the last 30 years stuck with me no matter what. I even cut him off, and everyone else off, completely for 10 long years - due to having backslid horribly and having a breakdown.

When God finally brought me out of it I called him. He asked why the heck did I cut him off and I told him it wasn't him it was because I was just so humiliated and embarrassed. I withdrew from the WORLD. He immediately understood, forgave me, and we have been talking once a week on the phone sometimes for 2 hours at a pop ever since. We have picked up right where we left off. He has been absolutely vital to my journey back to Jesus.

Turns out he had been posting messages to my defunct facebook pages all those years in a vain attempt to reach me, along with checking the obituaries weekly just so he'd know if the worst happened.

Is this a true example of Jesus's tenacious love or what? And the best thing is that it's a two-way street - He depends on my ear and encouragement as much as I do on his. We can see what God is doing in both of our lives.

So yes - as long as you can endure the heartache of his rebellion keep on hanging in there. Simply because you are an Ambassador of Christ you can be sure that your compassion, devotion and encouragement WILL bear fruit, against all odds, in His time. Just keep praying for God to give you the right words and then rest in the assurance that He will because you are trusting him to do so.

God bless.

 

[rebornfree]

So for those who don't know me from a pig in the mud I'll explain. I've been close online friends with somebody who is transgendered for the past 5 years or so. We've really become close and great friends and I generally can tell and ask him anything and naturally being a Christian myself I've tried to lead him to Christ over the last 5 years. He acknowledges that Jesus is the Messiah now but hasn't changed his ways or stopped transitioning which to me explains that he really doesn't have Jesus.

Long story short he cut off all ties with my wife and I and our Bible study group and i just learned that he attempted to harm himself and had to spend the last two months in a Psychiatric facility to get his meds straightened out and to make sure he doesnt try to harm himself again. During the first few weeks he had to be constantly watched over and was at high risk and they apparently have got his meds straightened out which is one reason why he had such a long stay this time. This wasn't the first time and probably won't be the last time that he's had to go away for a while. He's had a VERY hard life and my wife and i are really the only true friends he has.

This is the second time in the last five years that he has cut off all ties with us and if it ever happens again I will more than likely call the police in his area because he has proven that when he blocks and removes us from everywhere as friends that he's in a really dark and bad place. I know his name and what town he lives in and can figure out his address if I ever had to do so.

Now that God has graced me with his friendship again I don't want to give up on him or on his depression. I really think that if he had a genuine and deeper encounter with Jesus and if he gets on the right meds that my wife and I could really turn his life around and keep him out of the hospital and perhaps living a much more Jesus like life.

When he was in the hospital they adjusted his meds so he seems to have a much more positive outlook on life but i am concerned that if this happens again that he might not be around anymore or if something ever happened to me that he wouldnt be around anymore. he is the closest to me and I can't always be there to watch over him and look out for him and I want to do everything I can possibly do before I pass away and my service to Christ is over. Which, if I don't start taking care of myself might be sooner than any of us would ever want but my doctor and i are working on that.

Mostly I only care about him and don't want him to live like this. It saddens me everytime he goes on a drinking binge or everytime I have to tell him to stop sleeping with men and try to find a girlfriend. Despite my Christian views we always remain friends and we will probably be friends forever. But it's kind of awkward having conversations like this because he knows that God doesn't approve of these kinds of things and that I'm going to beg him to stop.

Idk, I'm waiting for God to continue working in his life I have seen him make fantastic strides only to fall again. I don't know what I can do or what I can say to make him understand just how much i care. But he does appreciate me which tbch, makes me feel good. But, at the same time it hurts me so much to see him like this. What can I do besides support him? Any ideas?

I think that you are doing a fantastic job and I hope that it isn't getting too stressful for you. The best thing you can do now imo is pray, which I'm sure that you are doing, and continue to support him. Are there any other Christians who could be friends with him too, so that you don't have to bear all the burden alone, and who can be there for him when you can't? Also I would be careful not to judge him too much by his behaviour. Whether or not he is a Christian depends on whether or not he has accepted Jesus as his Saviour. It seems that he knows that he needs to change his ways but it may take time particularly as his issues are so complex. At least he is making strides between the falls. Btw I think the binge drinking is probably a symptom of his distress rather than the cause.

I suggest concentrating on God's love for him and his relationship with Jesus. Is he reading the Bible? If not encourage him to read one of the gospels so that he can learn more about Jesus. Pray that his relationship with Jesus develops so that he will choose to obey Jesus rather than continue in the way that he is living. I would also pray for protection over him and that he will really grow to love Jesus and let Jesus sort out his problems. Also pray for yourself: for guidance from the Holy Spirit in how to handle this, that this will not become too overwhelming and for your own health issues too. Have you put this on the prayer wall? Also have you spoken to your Church Leader about it? It may help to have some support there too.

 

[Neostarwcc]

I think that you are doing a fantastic job and I hope that it isn't getting too stressful for you. The best thing you can do now imo is pray, which I'm sure that you are doing, and continue to support him. Are there any other Christians who could be friends with him too, so that you don't have to bear all the burden alone, and who can be there for him when you can't? Also I would be careful not to judge him too much by his behaviour. Whether or not he is a Christian depends on whether or not he has accepted Jesus as his Saviour. It seems that he knows that he needs to change his ways but it may take time particularly as his issues are so complex. At least he is making strides between the falls. Btw I think the binge drinking is probably a symptom of his distress rather than the cause.

I suggest concentrating on God's love for him and his relationship with Jesus. Is he reading the Bible? If not encourage him to read one of the gospels so that he can learn more about Jesus. Pray that his relationship with Jesus develops so that he will choose to obey Jesus rather than continue in the way that he is living. I would also pray for protection over him and that he will really grow to love Jesus and let Jesus sort out his problems. Also pray for yourself: for guidance from the Holy Spirit in how to handle this, that this will not become too overwhelming and for your own health issues too. Have you put this on the prayer wall? Also have you spoken to your Church Leader about it? It may help to have some support there too.

Thanks for the advice! I can only do my best and be his friend for the rest of my life you're right.

I did bring it up to my Pastor/Elder I'm actually really close friends with him too. He said he would be glad to help my friend out but given the scope of his problems that it would be better for him to see a good pastor in his area who can work on him personally and face to face than have him work with him through email. He said he would recommend he attend a Presbyterian Church that's close by but of course us being Presbyterians ourselves we're going to recommend our denomination. But really any Biblical church that teaches the Bible near Cleveland will do. I don't expect him to share my theology but he should adhere to the basics of Christianity and repentance is a big thing that every Christian needs so I've been trying to help him with that.


My friend told me that regular prayer was very helpful in helping him get through the two months he had to be in the hospital and that made me very happy that he is at least, seeking God. That's a great first step.

 

[com7fy8]

Make sure you take good care of your relating at home. Do not let a problem get your attention away from your own prayer and growing and sharing at home and with your other Jesus family people.

"Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation" (in Philippians 2:13-16)

 

[eleos1954]

So for those who don't know me from a pig in the mud I'll explain. I've been close online friends with somebody who is transgendered for the past 5 years or so. We've really become close and great friends and I generally can tell and ask him anything and naturally being a Christian myself I've tried to lead him to Christ over the last 5 years. He acknowledges that Jesus is the Messiah now but hasn't changed his ways or stopped transitioning which to me explains that he really doesn't have Jesus.

Long story short he cut off all ties with my wife and I and our Bible study group and i just learned that he attempted to harm himself and had to spend the last two months in a Psychiatric facility to get his meds straightened out and to make sure he doesnt try to harm himself again. During the first few weeks he had to be constantly watched over and was at high risk and they apparently have got his meds straightened out which is one reason why he had such a long stay this time. This wasn't the first time and probably won't be the last time that he's had to go away for a while. He's had a VERY hard life and my wife and i are really the only true friends he has.

This is the second time in the last five years that he has cut off all ties with us and if it ever happens again I will more than likely call the police in his area because he has proven that when he blocks and removes us from everywhere as friends that he's in a really dark and bad place. I know his name and what town he lives in and can figure out his address if I ever had to do so.

Now that God has graced me with his friendship again I don't want to give up on him or on his depression. I really think that if he had a genuine and deeper encounter with Jesus and if he gets on the right meds that my wife and I could really turn his life around and keep him out of the hospital and perhaps living a much more Jesus like life.

When he was in the hospital they adjusted his meds so he seems to have a much more positive outlook on life but i am concerned that if this happens again that he might not be around anymore or if something ever happened to me that he wouldnt be around anymore. he is the closest to me and I can't always be there to watch over him and look out for him and I want to do everything I can possibly do before I pass away and my service to Christ is over. Which, if I don't start taking care of myself might be sooner than any of us would ever want but my doctor and i are working on that.

Mostly I only care about him and don't want him to live like this. It saddens me everytime he goes on a drinking binge or everytime I have to tell him to stop sleeping with men and try to find a girlfriend. Despite my Christian views we always remain friends and we will probably be friends forever. But it's kind of awkward having conversations like this because he knows that God doesn't approve of these kinds of things and that I'm going to beg him to stop.

Idk, I'm waiting for God to continue working in his life I have seen him make fantastic strides only to fall again. I don't know what I can do or what I can say to make him understand just how much i care. But he does appreciate me which tbch, makes me feel good. But, at the same time it hurts me so much to see him like this. What can I do besides support him? Any ideas?

May the Lord give you wisdom in the matter .... Amen. May the Lord continue to work in His heart. Amen

 

[olgamc]

So for those who don't know me from a pig in the mud I'll explain. I've been close online friends with somebody who is transgendered for the past 5 years or so. We've really become close and great friends and I generally can tell and ask him anything and naturally being a Christian myself I've tried to lead him to Christ over the last 5 years. He acknowledges that Jesus is the Messiah now but hasn't changed his ways or stopped transitioning which to me explains that he really doesn't have Jesus.

Long story short he cut off all ties with my wife and I and our Bible study group and i just learned that he attempted to harm himself and had to spend the last two months in a Psychiatric facility to get his meds straightened out and to make sure he doesnt try to harm himself again. During the first few weeks he had to be constantly watched over and was at high risk and they apparently have got his meds straightened out which is one reason why he had such a long stay this time. This wasn't the first time and probably won't be the last time that he's had to go away for a while. He's had a VERY hard life and my wife and i are really the only true friends he has.

This is the second time in the last five years that he has cut off all ties with us and if it ever happens again I will more than likely call the police in his area because he has proven that when he blocks and removes us from everywhere as friends that he's in a really dark and bad place. I know his name and what town he lives in and can figure out his address if I ever had to do so.

Now that God has graced me with his friendship again I don't want to give up on him or on his depression. I really think that if he had a genuine and deeper encounter with Jesus and if he gets on the right meds that my wife and I could really turn his life around and keep him out of the hospital and perhaps living a much more Jesus like life.

When he was in the hospital they adjusted his meds so he seems to have a much more positive outlook on life but i am concerned that if this happens again that he might not be around anymore or if something ever happened to me that he wouldnt be around anymore. he is the closest to me and I can't always be there to watch over him and look out for him and I want to do everything I can possibly do before I pass away and my service to Christ is over. Which, if I don't start taking care of myself might be sooner than any of us would ever want but my doctor and i are working on that.

Mostly I only care about him and don't want him to live like this. It saddens me everytime he goes on a drinking binge or everytime I have to tell him to stop sleeping with men and try to find a girlfriend. Despite my Christian views we always remain friends and we will probably be friends forever. But it's kind of awkward having conversations like this because he knows that God doesn't approve of these kinds of things and that I'm going to beg him to stop.

Idk, I'm waiting for God to continue working in his life I have seen him make fantastic strides only to fall again. I don't know what I can do or what I can say to make him understand just how much i care. But he does appreciate me which tbch, makes me feel good. But, at the same time it hurts me so much to see him like this. What can I do besides support him? Any ideas?

The Lord asked me to do something similar just over a year ago. He broke my heart for this kid, and asked me to love him the way He loves me. I cried so much and begged Him not to ask me to do it, because I knew it would hurt me so much to be loving this kid so deeply and seeing him do what he does. But He insisted, so I agreed. A year and a bit later, the Lord is doing amazing, miraculous things in this kid and for him. He has not accepted the Lord yet, and he doesn’t want me to talk about God even, he is still so angry at God for allowing all the things that were done to him. But he is changing, slowly but surely.

Take heart and trust the Lord, don’t get tired of doing what is good, and don’t be afraid to hurt. It will hurt, but it’s ok, the Lord will protect you from the kind of pain that is damaging. Your friend is praying on his own initiative, that is amazing, that’s how you know the Lord is working in him. Don’t worry about it taking time. God’s not in a hurry. I prayed so many times for my boy, for the Lord to save him and heal him right away, and every time God says to me “be patient”. And just the other day the boy said that I was patient for putting up with him. So it’s ok to feel pain, it’s ok to wait, and it’s ok if the Lord decides to separate you from him for whatever reason. He is God, he knows what He is doing, trust Him and do what He says, that’s all you need to do.

And I totally get what you are saying about your anxiety of your friend hurting himself. Every time the kid leaves my house, I literally don’t know if I will see him again. But I keep praying for God to keep him safe and to bring him home, and He does. Every time. So don’t worry, neither your friend nor you can die until God decides it is time.

You might want to look into a book called “a guide for listening and inner healing prayer” by rusty rustenbach.