Church discipline against me. is this a Right? Letter from church attached.

[Sophrosyne]

I would visit another church near the area and ask to talk to an elder or pastor about the letter and discuss this with them asking for some advice as if this type of behavior has been going on long in this church I'm sure other churches have received members who have been similarly treated and they know what is going on here.
Without further information it is hard to tell what is truly going on, but there could be some manipulation at hand either you, your wife, gossiping church members, elders, or an elitists sort of hierarchy in the church itself.

 

[Alithis]

My wife has gone to the pastors at my church and told them I do not work. I do work and have a job, however I just do not make as much money as my wife, actually I work constantly around the house etc. My family has plenty money to make payments house, food, everything. The church deems that I am in violation of first Timothy 5:8 and is in the process of treating me as a nonbeliever. I have attached a letter below from the church would you please read and give me advice. It seems to me they are mis using scriptures. Your careful consideration would be appreciated. See letter from church below.View attachment 259490 Thank you

Cannot give council to this without hearing testimony from the " other side" of the coin..
It is folly to answer a matter that way.
Any matter can sound right ...untill it is cross examined...

 

[rockytopva]

I believe the seven churches of Revelation came down in time, in which the Lord says so many times, “He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.” - Revelation 2:29

It is so important to gain an ear to what the Spirit of God is saying in this day and time. Pray and ask, “What would God have me to do?”

 

[Dave L]

Jesus says if we seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, he will provide all of our needs. I did this and retired early from my own pocket. But my first step of seeking first the kingdom was taking a part time low wrung dead end job in obedience to Paul's work command. And performing it as unto the Lord.

 

[LoricaLady]

I have no way to know what is going on from here, except in one area. It seems you do not have a full time job and that both your wife and the Church counsel feel you are quite capable of having one. If that is true, and you are just relying on your wife's income, then it would seem to me that you are, indeed, being "idle." You seem to feel that if you "help around the house" that you are doing enough. Those kinds of tasks would not qualify as a job, especially since they bring in zero cash.

My advice is to get a real, full time job. ASAP.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

My wife has gone to the pastors at my church and told them I do not work. I do work and have a job, however I just do not make as much money as my wife, actually I work constantly around the house etc. My family has plenty money to make payments house, food, everything. The church deems that I am in violation of first Timothy 5:8 and is in the process of treating me as a nonbeliever. I have attached a letter below from the church would you please read and give me advice. It seems to me they are mis using scriptures. Your careful consideration would be appreciated. See letter from church below.View attachment 259490 Thank you

You have many comments yet you have not provided answers to questions. There are two sides to every story. It seems that your wife made an extreme move, the Elders wrote an extreme letter so it is now time for you to make an extreme change. It is time to think more critical about yourself and your actions and figure out why it came to a boiling point. I will pray for you.
Blessings

 

[LoricaLady]

Why don't you want to get a full time job?

 

[nanookadenord]

I have no way to know what is going on from here, except in one area. It seems you do not have a full time job and that both your wife and the Church counsel feel you are quite capable of having one. If that is true, and you are just relying on your wife's income, then it would seem to me that you are, indeed, being "idle." You seem to feel that if you "help around the house" that you are doing enough. Those kinds of tasks would not qualify as a job, especially since they bring in zero cash.

My advice is to get a real, full time job. ASAP.

Yet, if a wife is home, that's called a job.

I would call that a double standard.

 

[Anthony2019]

What a silly letter!
Full of religious pomposity and arrogance, lacking in courtesy and dignity. It is very easy for someone in a privileged position to tell someone to "go and find a job" without lifting a finger to help them. Do you really want to be part of a church like that?
Personally, I would throw the letter in the bin and go and find a more caring church which can offer you more support.

 

[Dave L]

“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Timothy 5:8 (NASB95)

 

[nanookadenord]

“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Timothy 5:8 (NASB95)

And yet, he is doing stuff around the home along with pulling in an income. He is providing, it just not the way that recent society has deemed it should be.

 

[devin553344]

“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Timothy 5:8 (NASB95)

The OP indicated that he does work and pulls in an income. It's just not as much as the wife.

 

[nanookadenord]

I was in somewhat of a similar situation with my ex-wife.

She is disabled and was unable to do stuff around the home and there were times that I would have to stay home to take care of her. For much of the marriage I stayed home to take care of her and our home and eventually kids. That was my job. We weren't shirking financial responsibilities. We just never had much money and didn't do much extra stuff. We mainly stayed home.

She started wanting more things instead of being content with what we had. So, she started nagging me to get a job. So, I started a pet sitting business and still didn't make much money. She wanted more. I started with a picture taking company that I could make my own scheduke with. She wanted more. She filed for divorce because she wasn't happy.

I brought in a little income and took care of her and our two kids, she wasn't happy because she wanted more and more.

I wonder if her wanting more and more is where the OP's wife is.

 

[Dave L]

The OP indicated that he does work and pulls in an income. It's just not as much as the wife.

What kind of work besides housework?

 

[nanookadenord]

What kind of work besides housework?

In his first post it says he does work and has a job and does housework.

Therefore what work he does is irrelevant. He is bringing in income. It's just not as much as his wife and there is nothing wrong with that.

 

[Strong in Him]

Personally, I'd look for another church.

I'm sure there are things here that we are not being told - eg do you have a job but work fewer hours than your wife, so are able to do more around the house? Are you a househusband? Is your wife happy with your domestic arrangement or did she go to the elders to try and shame you into getting a job?
But even so, it seems the leadership are far too invested in, what may be, a private, domestic arrangement. If it's right for both of you that you work around the house - either because you are unemployed or work part time - that's your business; not theirs. If your wife is happy to be the main wager earner; that's your business, not theirs. It's between you, your wife and the Lord.
Incidentally, have you talked about this with your wife? Did she approach you first, before going to the church; or was going to the elders a last resort because you weren't listening?

There's nothing wrong with giving time and free labour in place of money. It's how most churches operate; rather than pay for gardeners, decorators, caterers, secretaries, and in some cases preachers, they use lay people or ask for willing volunteers. So people who do not give/may not have much money can still give to the church by doing X hours of gardening/decorating/baking cakes/organising kids' events. In my denomination we have lay preachers. There are not enough paid ministers to go around and most of the services are taken by unpaid (but trained) volunteers.

If I received a letter like that I'd tell them it was none of their business and look for another church.

 

[Dave L]

Personally, I'd look for another church.

I'm sure there are things here that we are not being told - eg do you have a job but work fewer hours than your wife, so are able to do more around the house? Are you a househusband? Is your wife happy with your domestic arrangement or did she go to the elders to try and shame you into getting a job?
But even so, it seems the leadership are far too invested in, what may be a private, domestic arrangement. If it's right for both of you that you work around the house - either because you are unemployed or work part time - that's your business; not theirs. If your wife is happy to be the main wager earner; that's your business, not theirs. It's between you, your wife and the Lord.
Incidentally, have you talked about this with your wife? Did she approach you first, before going to the church; or was going to the elders a last resort because you weren't listening?

There's nothing wrong with giving time and free labour in place of money. It's how most churches operate; rather than pay for gardeners, decorators, caterers, secretaries, and in some cases preachers, they use lay people or ask for willing volunteers. So people who do not give/may not have much money can still give to the church by doing X hours of gardening/decorating/baking cakes/organising kids' events. In my denomination we have lay preachers. There are not enough paid ministers to go around and most of the services are taken by unpaid (but trained) volunteers.

If I received a letter like that I'd tell them it was none of their business and look for another church.

I'd look for a job...........

 

[devin553344]

What kind of work besides housework?

That area was left vague and I think the OP checked out of the thread perhaps.

 

[devin553344]

I'd look for a job...........

I'd look for a Job and a new church personally.

 

[Strong in Him]

I'd look for a job...........

He says he has a job but does not earn as much as his wife. But the words "actually I work constantly about the house" are ambiguous and do not say whether this is as well as, or instead of, paid work.