Church discipline against me. is this a Right? Letter from church attached.

[nanookadenord]

His wife's side is the same as his, that he is only working in a part time capacity, to which the church letter also states.

He is saying, that the church shouldn't treat him as a non-believer simply because he doesn't work in a 40 hour per week capacity.

Their family, as a husband and wife, doesn't have financial issues - they are paying all their bills and in no way are dependant upon the church for help.

This lifestyle was an agreement the husband and wife made, prior to leaving their former state (and him his former career) to further his wife's career in their current state.

So the church trying to treat him as a non-believer over that seems incorrect. It would be different if they were poor and not degreed career oriented individuals, but the man is stating that is not the case.

I don't think it's unbiblical for a husband and wife to agree to something as described here.

However, now that the wife has said something (and we can only imagine it wasn't just in passing) he needs to sit with his wife and work out the martial issues that definitely seem to have arisen..

but to say a modern Christian woman is wrong for wanting to persue her career and the man who supports that needs to be termed a non-Christian is ridiculous.. in my opinion.

Exactly!

 

[Sparagmos]

I missed it if you responded my Post#164 and what were your thoughts there?

I'm single, but if married I would expect the following regarding our joint finances:

• We would be debt free (credit, automobiles, student loans, mortgage, other loans, etc.)
• We would gave established a "rainy day fund" in the amount of 6-9 months of our combined "gross income" or 6-9 months of our total "monthly expenditures" ... whichever seems most appropriate for us.
• We would be contributing fully to establish a robust college educational fund for our children
• We would be contributing fully to establish a robust retirement savings account for our marriage
• If I were in your age group, I would also be using all the IRS "catch up" rules to maximize my 401K, IRA, and/or HSA contributions.
• Finally, if I had children living at home, I would be a full-time mother, full-time housewife, and full-time home-maker because that's the primary purpose for which God designed women. Men, on the other hand, I'm beginning to have my doubts...

You and your wife are in my prayers. If you could be so kind to share my posts with your wife, for full disclosure, and that you two might find time to pray together, I would appreciate it kindly.

PS. What's with the username? Isn't "Spiccoli (sic)" the name of that world-class slacker from that 1982 Hollywood movie. The surfer with authority issues...

My goodness, so you will only marry a very wealthy man? How else could you live without even taking out a mortgage or student loans? And you have no intention of contributing financially? With all due respect, you sound very out of touch with reality.

 

[nanookadenord]

My goodness, so you will only marry a very wealthy man? How else could you live without even taking out a mortgage or student loans? And you have no intention of contributing financially? With all due respect, you sound very out of touch with reality.

That was my thought when I read her reply as well!

 

[GospelS]

The root of all this is disrupting the family mechanism and the standards that God has established in His wisdom. God created a suitable helper for man, not the other way around. This disrupted picture the parents are painting now sets an incorrect example of Christ to their children.

 

[Aabbie James]

My goodness, so you will only marry a very wealthy man? How else could you live without even taking out a mortgage or student loans? And you have no intention of contributing financially? With all due respect, you sound very out of touch with reality.

My reality is practical and biblical. I owe that to Godly parents who taught us everything belongs to God. We are but stewards of God's creation while we sojourn this planet. We are not to be of this world, but in it, to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ to unbelievers that they may hear the Good News and believe.

My family helped with my college education and I worked to help contribute to my living expenses. We paid as we went and finished without the use of student loans, debt-free. What are people's reasons for piling up large student debt in the first place. Community colleges are an excellent launching point for two years to test our interests. I could go on and on about this matter, but I'll keep it brief. There's no reason, other than perhaps pride, to want to tie yourself a financial anchor around you and some institution of higher learning.

I don't own a home, yet, but most of the elder generation from my parents do, debt-free (notice I say most). Most of them adhere to biblical principles to be charitable first, live frugal, remain out of debt, pay as you go, and save.

My reality is I work and have a professional career, I have a healthy savings already, and I'm living within the principles I've outlined above. As far as my prospects for marriage, I'm confident God will put into my path a Godly man who shares those principles too, or no man at all. With respect to wealth, let us not store up our treasures on earth, but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:19-21)

Jesus is LORD. Amen.

 

[Sparagmos]

My family helped with my college education and I worked to help contribute to my living expenses. We paid as we went and finished without the use of student loans, debt-free. What are people's reasons for piling up large student debt in the first place. Community colleges are an excellent launching point for two years to test our interests.

It’s great that you were able to pay as you went but for many, if not most, college students the educational path they are taking is not one that is affordable enough to do so. For instance, years ago I was considering going back to school to become a teacher. At the state university the education track did not allow time for students to work for the last two years, and only very wealthy people have the tens of thousands of dollars in cash to pay for that up front. My best friend is an imaging tech at a hospital. To get accreditation, she had to do a very expensive two year program and the second year was doing unpaid internships. She could not work for most of that program and had to take out loans. Engineers, doctors, and many trades cannot get training at a community college. The idea that it is unbiblical for a nurse or an engineer to go into debt to get training is absurd - if that was followed we would have no engineers or nurses!

There's no reason, other than perhaps pride, to want to tie yourself a financial anchor around you and some institution of higher learning

This is a very entitled and naive thing to say. No one wants to go into debt! People are given talents and gifts by god but are required degrees to practice in their fields. It takes an exorbitant amount of money to get that degree. Without taking out loans, only the very wealthy could become professionals.

I don't own a home, yet, but most of the elder generation from my parents do, debt-free (notice I say most)

Did they all buy their houses with cash? Surely they were not always debt free? Again, only very wealthy people can afford to buy a house with cash. Are you proposing that people rent for 20-30 years while saving money for a home? That would be a poor financial decision. Working class people (teachers, mailmen, cooks, bus drivers) would never be able to save enough money to buy a home with cash, especially in a one income household. Surely you don’t believe that teachers and bus drivers are doing something unbiblical or wrong when they take out mortgages or student loans for their kids?

a Godly man who shares those principles too, or no man at all. With respect to wealth, let us not store up our treasures on earth, but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Amen! I hope you do not eliminate the 97% of men who aren’t rich enough to support you buy a home with cash, and pay for all of your childrens’ education with cash. For where your treasure is, your heart will be also.

 

[nanookadenord]

The idea that it is unbiblical for a nurse or an engineer to go into debt to get training is absurd - if that was followed we would have no engineers or nurses!

Or paramedics.

During orientation for when I had to go back to school to get my second EMT certification when I moved to Florida, they told the paramedics to kiss their family goodbye for the year as they won't be seeing them. Between class, ride-time, clinicals and maybe one day of work, they do not have any time.

I am looking to go back to become a surgical tech in July 2020. It is an intense course and there are internships involved. I am trying to figure out a way to do it without working as it is a five day a week course. At 44 years old, I don't have the stamina to stay up days at a time anymore like someone half my age.

 

[Aabbie James]

Let us please direct our Christian Advice to the original poster. Please pray for him and his wife, and his daughter...

 

[RDKirk]

The root of all this is disrupting the family mechanism and the standards that God has established in His wisdom. God created a suitable helper for man, not the other way around. This disrupted picture the parents are painting now sets an incorrect example of Christ to their children.

As an aside to the thrust of this thread, you said, "God created a suitable helper for man."

That is kind of a misunderstanding of what God did, a confusing over the use of the Hebrew word that was translated as "helper."

That Hebrew word ezer is used about 40 times in the Old Testament. Thirty-seven times it refers directly to God (such as "God is our refuge and strength, a very present helper in trouble" and "The Lord is on my side as my helper; I shall look in triumph on those who hate me.").

Two times, ezer refers to a saving army that arrives in the nick of time--like the cavalry did in the old Westerns.

One time, it refers to a woman.

But if we "let scripture interpret scripture," it's clear that ezer does not mean "helper" as in "hand me the wrench." It means "rescue." Eve was Adam's rescue.

 

[GospelS]

As an aside to the thrust of this thread, you said, "God created a suitable helper for man."

That is kind of a misunderstanding of what God did, a confusing over the use of the Hebrew word that was translated as "helper."

That Hebrew word ezer is used about 40 times in the Old Testament. Thirty-seven times it refers directly to God (such as "God is our refuge and strength, a very present helper in trouble" and "The Lord is on my side as my helper; I shall look in triumph on those who hate me.").

Two times, ezer refers to a saving army that arrives in the nick of time--like the cavalry did in the old Westerns.

One time, it refers to a woman.

But if we "let scripture interpret scripture," it's clear that ezer does not mean "helper" as in "hand me the wrench." It means "rescue." Eve was Adam's rescue.

There is no misunderstanding or any confusion. A suitable rescue/helper for a man is a woman, in a family setting, not the other way around.

 

[nanookadenord]

All I got to say at this point is that I am blessed to have a woman in my life whom I will marry and we will figure out what the best way is to do our family together as each family is different.

If that means it's best for me to work part-time and her full-time, that is what we will do. If it's best that we both work full-time that is what is best. If it's one or the other working full-time, then that is what we will do.

We go into the relationship as equals and stay equals through the relationship. There is no sin in finding out what works best for your family and doing that.

 

[Calminian]

My wife has gone to the pastors at my church and told them I do not work. I do work and have a job, however I just do not make as much money as my wife, actually I work constantly around the house etc. My family has plenty money to make payments house, food, everything. The church deems that I am in violation of first Timothy 5:8 and is in the process of treating me as a nonbeliever. I have attached a letter below from the church would you please read and give me advice. It seems to me they are mis using scriptures. Your careful consideration would be appreciated. See letter from church below.View attachment 259490 Thank you

Mixed feelings. Should you be airing this out in public? Have you invited your Church leaders to comment on this in this forum and give their side? Have you invited your wife to give her side? Are you leaving anything important out?

Yes, from your perspective, it looks bad. But, again, I don't know the whole story. Once I have the full story from your wife and your church leaders, and from everyone involved, I could possibly give some good advice.

As the Proverb says, he who gives his testimony first usually seems in the right.

I also think of those court shows where the plaintiff always seems right until the defendant gives the rest of the story.

 

[tampasteve]

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