Advice on finding an Orthodox wife?

[GreekOrthodox]

Theological Clock Syndrome and Matushka Hunting are things

Seminarian pick-up line: Ever thought about being a presbytera?

 

[~Anastasia~]

Seminarian pick-up line: Ever thought about being a presbytera?

Oh my goodness who is he?

Lord have mercy I laughed a few times. I think he could get me in trouble for finding things funny.


I didn't think deacons could marry? I have a friend who was a deacon and was I suppose on his way to becoming a priest, but apparently he fell in love - he decided to marry and give up being clergy.

 

[FenderTL5]

 

[Anhelyna]

My understanding has always been that IF the seminarian has a calling to the married state he has to be married before his ordination as a Deacon.

If I'm also correct , it's not unusual for a student to finish at Seminary and then take a break to decide if he will marry [ or not ] and after a period of reflection/discernment etc and then marry and petition for Ordination , or go ahead , stay celibate and petition for Ordination.

 

[nutroll]

Really? A Presvytera's life is not easy in many ways. It seems to me that she must be called in a way as her husband is. Women actually just WANT to marry a cassock?



(I admit, it would be nice to have a husband who was well-versed in Orthodoxy and lived by the principles, especially if you're going to raise children together. But that doesn't mean he has to be a priest. And I imagine MANY priests struggle to be both father and priest to their own family and to their entire flock ... from where I sit they look stretched pretty thin! So if that's what a woman wants, it seems counter to look for a cassock?)

I can't speak for the actual motivations of anyone, that was merely my worry which probably had more to do with thinking I didn't have much to offer in the marriage department. My wife would disagree, but what does she know..? I'm a terrible person, she just hasn't figured it out yet.

 

[~Anastasia~]

I can't speak for the actual motivations of anyone, that was merely my worry which probably had more to do with thinking I didn't have much to offer in the marriage department. My wife would disagree, but what does she know..? I'm a terrible person, she just hasn't figured it out yet.

Ah thank you for the reply.

I suspect you are quite a blessing to her. We can all be terrible persons ...

 

[~Anastasia~]

My understanding has always been that IF the seminarian has a calling to the married state he has to be married before his ordination as a Deacon.

If I'm also correct , it's not unusual for a student to finish at Seminary and then take a break to decide if he will marry [ or not ] and after a period of reflection/discernment etc and then marry and petition for Ordination , or go ahead , stay celibate and petition for Ordination.

That's what I thought?

In the video, the person talked about asking priests how they met their wives. He told about a priest who said he was a deacon chanting at a funeral and saw her and fell in love.

So it sounded like a deacon getting married? I didn't think that was possible?

Maybe a misunderstanding somewhere, or for some reason an allowance or even possibly a difference???

 

[GreekOrthodox]

I'm guessing that Basile probably meant that the now priest was a reader at the time and not a deacon. A deacon wouldnt be normally be at the chanting stand during a funeral.

 

[~Anastasia~]

I'm guessing that Basile probably meant that the now priest was a reader at the time and not a deacon. A deacon wouldnt be normally be at the chanting stand during a funeral.

That makes sense too. We don't have a deacon, but the few times I've been in services that did, they were with the priest in the altar.

Then again, our priest is frequently at the chant stand. So my experience can't be always relied upon.

 

[GreekOrthodox]

That makes sense too. We don't have a deacon, but the few times I've been in services that did, they were with the priest in the altar.

Then again, our priest is frequently at the chant stand. So my experience can't be always relied upon.

Chuckles... +Nicholas of Detroit likes to take a couple steps from the bishops throne and join the chanters during Orthros. Nothing like suddenly looking to the left and finding your bishop pointing at which Kathismata he wants to take over...

 

[ArmyMatt]

Seminarian pick-up line: Ever thought about being a presbytera?

I am not joking when I say that my freshman year, a senior tried to pick up a girl using the monophysite heresy......

needless to say he is now happily married and ordained, and did NOT use that for his now wife.

 

[ArmyMatt]

My understanding has always been that IF the seminarian has a calling to the married state he has to be married before his ordination as a Deacon.

technically, a man can be ordained a deacon prior to getting married, if he professes an intent to get married. those cases are extremely rare though. for a priest however, you always gotta be married first.

 

[MariaJLM]

technically, a man can be ordained a deacon prior to getting married, if he professes an intent to get married. those cases are extremely rare though. for a priest however, you always gotta be married first.

My priest actually knows of another guy who used to be a priest, but then he had to renounce the priesthood because of seeking remarriage. He was initially married, but then his wife had an accident and suffered severe brain damage. The couple had some young children at the time so this poor guy was basically stuck caring for the children plus his brain damaged wife who now had the mind of a child. He felt he had no choice but to get divorced and remarried so he could more easily care for his family.

I know, not completely what the topic is about, but it's a sad and interesting story nonetheless.

 

[Andrei D]

So does one HAVE to be married or not? I guess I always assumed that they had to be married to be parish priests, as opposed to becoming hieromonks.

 

[Paidiske]

Really? A Presvytera's life is not easy in many ways. It seems to me that she must be called in a way as her husband is. Women actually just WANT to marry a cassock?

This also is A Thing. In my denomination as well.

 

[MariaJLM]

So does one HAVE to be married or not? I guess I always assumed that they had to be married to be parish priests, as opposed to becoming hieromonks.

Some parishes have hieromonks presiding over them, but that's more rare. They're typically assigned to monasteries for obvious reasons.

 

[Not David]

My priest actually knows of another guy who used to be a priest, but then he had to renounce the priesthood because of seeking remarriage. He was initially married, but then his wife had an accident and suffered severe brain damage. The couple had some young children at the time so this poor guy was basically stuck caring for the children plus his brain damaged wife who now had the mind of a child. He felt he had no choice but to get divorced and remarried so he could more easily care for his family.

I know, not completely what the topic is about, but it's a sad and interesting story nonetheless.

That's interesting, I read some priests might get remarried if his wife died and he has young kids who might need a mom.

 

[nutroll]

I'm guessing that Basile probably meant that the now priest was a reader at the time and not a deacon. A deacon wouldnt be normally be at the chanting stand during a funeral.

I also have noticed that a lot of Orthodox don't know the difference between a subdeacon and a deacon, and that he might have assumed incorrectly.

 

[~Anastasia~]

This also is A Thing. In my denomination as well.

You mean women wanting to marry a priest? (Or men - I realize you could mean either?)

I could understand it more in the kind of ministry of pastors who belong to the kinds of denominations where their main responsibility is to preach a sermon every week, and maybe teach and counsel a bit. But the priesthood as I am familiar with it is deeply serving in so many ways that it is a sacrificial position.

 

[Paidiske]

I meant more women wanting to marry a priest.

I think the reasons are complicated. In times gone by I think they were often women who were gifted and capable and who might have entered ministry themselves, but this was as close as they could get (and often they did a lot of the actual work of running a parish!).

But now... how can I put this into words? There is sometimes a... a view of clergy as special and set-apart, and a desire to share in that specialness by association.