Advice on finding an Orthodox wife?

[Knee V]

I strongly advise against "missionary dating" (you've said you are already not inclined to do so, which is good, imho).

In general, marry someone for who she is now, not for who you hope she'll become. If you want an Orthodox wife and to raise children in the Orthodox faith, then marry someone who is Orthodox. And if you are not going to marry someone who is not Orthodox, then do not date someone who is not Orthodox, or even entertain that as a feasible possibility. And the same goes for many other criteria. If you know that you want a big family, for example, then do not date someone who doesn't also want a big family. Etc.

Something that has worked for many people is to visit a monastery that has a lot of pilgrims visiting regularly. Talk to the abbott about your desire to find a good wife. There is a good chance that many ladies have expressed to him the desire to find a husband.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

That’s pretty odd..

Theological Clock Syndrome and Matushka Hunting are things

 

[ArmyMatt]

That’s pretty odd..

nah, it's hilarious is what it is.

 

[~Anastasia~]

I strongly advise against "missionary dating" (you've said you are already not inclined to do so, which is good, imho).

In general, marry someone for who she is now, not for who you hope she'll become. If you want an Orthodox wife and to raise children in the Orthodox faith, then marry someone who is Orthodox. And if you are not going to marry someone who is not Orthodox, then do not date someone who is not Orthodox, or even entertain that as a feasible possibility. And the same goes for many other criteria. If you know that you want a big family, for example, then do not date someone who doesn't also want a big family. Etc.

Something that has worked for many people is to visit a monastery that has a lot of pilgrims visiting regularly. Talk to the abbott about your desire to find a good wife. There is a good chance that many ladies have expressed to him the desire to find a husband.

Agree ... and I mostly wanted to say that last paragraph is a GREAT idea!

 

[SingularityOne]

I strongly advise against "missionary dating" (you've said you are already not inclined to do so, which is good, imho).

In general, marry someone for who she is now, not for who you hope she'll become. If you want an Orthodox wife and to raise children in the Orthodox faith, then marry someone who is Orthodox. And if you are not going to marry someone who is not Orthodox, then do not date someone who is not Orthodox, or even entertain that as a feasible possibility. And the same goes for many other criteria. If you know that you want a big family, for example, then do not date someone who doesn't also want a big family. Etc.

Something that has worked for many people is to visit a monastery that has a lot of pilgrims visiting regularly. Talk to the abbott about your desire to find a good wife. There is a good chance that many ladies have expressed to him the desire to find a husband.

Thanks for the advice. I agree with it after some reflection. Boundaries and knowing what one wants are important.

On the last paragraph... are there any monasteries that you know that are “popular with the ladies” (hahahah, I never thought I’d write a sentence like that - lol’ing out loud for real right now)?

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

Anybody know a chick magnet seminary?

Thanks for the advice. I agree with it after some reflection. Boundaries and knowing what one wants are important.

On the last paragraph... are there any monasteries that you know that are “popular with the ladies” (hahahah, I never thought I’d write a sentence like that - lol’ing out loud for real right now)?

 

[ArmyMatt]

Anybody know a chick magnet seminary?

haha, none of them are. the magnet is the single young lady when there are a bunch of single seminarians looking for ordinations.

you see heads pop up at an unfamiliar female voice like watching prairie dogs.

 

[~Anastasia~]

haha, none of them are. the magnet is the single young lady when there are a bunch of single seminarians looking for ordinations.

you see heads pop up at an unfamiliar female voice like watching prairie dogs.

I should send my goddaughter to seminary.

 

[~Anastasia~]

Thanks for the advice. I agree with it after some reflection. Boundaries and knowing what one wants are important.

On the last paragraph... are there any monasteries that you know that are “popular with the ladies” (hahahah, I never thought I’d write a sentence like that - lol’ing out loud for real right now)?

My guess is that a young lady may be slightly more inclined to discuss her desire with female monastics than male, so a woman's monastery might be a better place to ask, all things being equal. But if I were in your position, I'd consider first what monastery I could get to. There will only be one wife in the end, so while I can appreciate that numbers can help the odds, they aren't the only consideration. I think many times people visit whatever monastery is closest to them. Those that are highly popular could even be less desirable for your purposes for other reasons. (A monastery that allows real connections between people is what you want, and the most popular ones might not really offer such opportunities.)

 

[ArmyMatt]

I should send my goddaughter to seminary.

haha, it's always fun to see

 

[~Anastasia~]

haha, it's always fun to see

Yeah that's the problem is that I'd like to be a fly on the wall.

I had easily imagined that male seminarians must certainly feel the pressure. But I wouldn't have known what that looked like. Thanks for the description, and the chuckle!

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

Why do I find this depiction....disturbing? LOL

haha, none of them are. the magnet is the single young lady when there are a bunch of single seminarians looking for ordinations.

you see heads pop up at an unfamiliar female voice like watching prairie dogs.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

Part of me finds this a touch creepy. I met my wife when I wasn't looking for love. When I was looking, I met the WORST girls, I swear! My wife was truly a gift from God when I wasn't prepared for it. I think there is something a touch sad in a wolf pack of seminary guys just looking to hurry and get hitched to some miscellaneous female before the gates of the marriage castle close! It's kind of like, "uh, hey, any chicks here? any females? anyone will do?"

Yeah that's the problem is that I'd like to be a fly on the wall.

I had easily imagined that male seminarians must certainly feel the pressure. But I wouldn't have known what that looked like. Thanks for the description, and the chuckle!

 

[Anhelyna]

haha - reminds me of something said to me by a priest who had been in the USA for a few years - every year they would get a few Seminarians coming from the Baltic States looking for a wife - happened every year and some came back more than once

 

[~Anastasia~]

Part of me finds this a touch creepy. I met my wife when I wasn't looking for love. When I was looking, I met the WORST girls, I swear! My wife was truly a gift from God when I wasn't prepared for it. I think there is something a touch sad in a wolf pack of seminary guys just looking to hurry and get hitched to some miscellaneous female before the gates of the marriage castle close! It's kind of like, "uh, hey, any chicks here? any females? anyone will do?"

Well ... I can understand a creepy factor if one takes it too seriously.

I was really just thinking in a comedic sense.

You have to admit though, if a guy is called to the priesthood and doesn't feel he can be a monk his whole life - he obviously has to delay his career until he can marry.

But given that no mistake can be made (there can never be divorce and remarriage) ... I doubt any young aspiring-priest would be so foolish or desperate as to marry a girl just because she is a warm body. That would be creepy, though.

 

[ArmyMatt]

Why do I find this depiction....disturbing? LOL

haha, because it is....and hilarious

 

[ArmyMatt]

Part of me finds this a touch creepy. I met my wife when I wasn't looking for love. When I was looking, I met the WORST girls, I swear! My wife was truly a gift from God when I wasn't prepared for it. I think there is something a touch sad in a wolf pack of seminary guys just looking to hurry and get hitched to some miscellaneous female before the gates of the marriage castle close! It's kind of like, "uh, hey, any chicks here? any females? anyone will do?"

same with me and my wife. but the wolf pack thing usually fails.

 

[nutroll]

I put off the idea of seminary for a long time because I was terminally single, and I didn't want to go to seminary and end up marrying someone who only wanted me for my cassock. I finally decided on November 23 2008 that I would start making preparations to go to seminary even though I felt certain that I would end up being an unmarried priest. I received my first email from my wife on November 24, 2008. Apparently God thought my plan was foolish.

 

[~Anastasia~]

and I didn't want to go to seminary and end up marrying someone who only wanted me for my cassock.

Really? A Presvytera's life is not easy in many ways. It seems to me that she must be called in a way as her husband is. Women actually just WANT to marry a cassock?



(I admit, it would be nice to have a husband who was well-versed in Orthodoxy and lived by the principles, especially if you're going to raise children together. But that doesn't mean he has to be a priest. And I imagine MANY priests struggle to be both father and priest to their own family and to their entire flock ... from where I sit they look stretched pretty thin! So if that's what a woman wants, it seems counter to look for a cassock?)

 

[RobNJ]

I put off the idea of seminary for a long time because I was terminally single, and I didn't want to go to seminary and end up marrying someone who only wanted me for my cassock. I finally decided on November 23 2008 that I would start making preparations to go to seminary even though I felt certain that I would end up being an unmarried priest. I received my first email from my wife on November 24, 2008. Apparently God thought my plan was foolish.

LOL There was NO ESCAPE!!!!

(single guy humor)