29 & Never Dated

[pc_76]

I probably asked you this before but depression has killed my memory.. but..

Are you asking women within your league? Are you widening your dating pool?

Are you short? Or not the most pleasant face? I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but it shouldn't be that hard to get interest and dates from a few women. Look at some of the taken men out there, lol.

I'm 5'7 so a little short than average, but I think one should get to pursue or get a woman slightly over his "league" if he wants.

 

[DragonFox91]

I'm 5'7 so a little short than average, but I think one should get to pursue or get a woman slightly over his "league" if he wants.

I'm 5'7 too. That's not 'shorter than average.' If it is, it's not enough to make a difference.

 

[bèlla]

He’s right. The average height in the US for men is 5’9 and 5’4 for women.

World Population Review

 

[MehGuy]

I'm 5'7 so a little short than average, but I think one should get to pursue or get a woman slightly over his "league" if he wants.

I'm not arguing that a man shouldn't have this right. Just stating the idea that if one lowers their standards just a little bit, they might find their dating life become more active.

 

[MehGuy]

I'm 5'7 too. That's not 'shorter than average.' If it is, it's not enough to make a difference.

5'10 is the average in the US. Sadly I live in a state that's a little taller than the average. Most of the time in a group of adult men I'm by far the shortest. 6 foot tall women are a common occurrence as well.

I'm about your height, and I'd say those few extra inches do make a noticeable difference. Unless you live in a genetically strange region of the US where people are shorter than the national average. Although if it's not Hispanic dominated or something probably not.

 

[DragonFox91]

5'10 is the average in the US. Sadly I live in a state that's a little taller than the average. Most of the time in a group of adult men I'm by far the shortest. 6 foot tall women are a common occurrence as well.

I'm about your height, and I'd say those few extra inches do make a noticeable difference. Unless you live in a genetically strange region of the US where people are shorter than the national average. Although if it's not Hispanic dominated or something probably not.

I don't think it's enough to make a difference, especially w/ average woman height being 5'4. Certainly not enough to say "I'm too short to get a girlfriend." You're taller than most women by a few inches.

My height is the one things I've always thought isn't a problem. Yes, there are times when I feel the shortest w/ other men, but that's usually b/c there's someone a lot taller. There seems to be a lot more variation in men height. (There actually in general is more variation w/ men, that's been proven for a range of things. I could see height being one of them).

 

[MehGuy]

I don't think it's enough to make a difference, especially w/ average woman height being 5'4. Certainly not enough to say "I'm too short to get a girlfriend."

Sorry I wasn't arguing that.. I was saying how you look compared to other men.

I'm a short guy and I get interest from women. The dating life of an average 5'7 man and a 5'3 man is going to be drastically different. If you're at least tall or taller than a woman, you tend to have at least a shot. If you're shorter not really.

My height is the one things I've always thought isn't a problem. Yes, there are times when I feel the shortest w/ other men, but that's usually b/c there's someone a lot taller. There seems to be a lot more variation in men height. (There actually in general is more variation w/ men, that's been proven for a range of things. I could see height being one of them).

Where I live there is variation.. but it's more variation of how much taller someone is to me. Lol.

 

[DragonFox91]

Sorry I wasn't arguing that.. I was saying how you look compared to other men.

Okay good. I was afraid you were kind of hinting at 'you're short, you don't have a chance.'

I'm a short guy and I get interest from women. The dating life of an average 5'7 man and a 5'3 man is going to be drastically different. If you're at least tall or taller than a woman, you tend to have at least a shot. If you're shorter not really.

I agree. To not disappoint any 5'3 or below men here: Short guys can have a lot of things going for them. Usually they're super-buff. Good clothing styles too. You may find it harder, but you're not out!

Where I live there is variation.. but it's more variation of how much taller someone is to me. Lol.

 

[MehGuy]

Okay good. I was afraid you were kind of hinting at 'you're short, you don't have a chance.'

No.. I wouldn't ever say that about myself.. lol.

I agree. To not disappoint any 5'3 or below men here: Short guys can have a lot of things going for them. Usually they're super-buff. Good clothing styles too. You may find it harder, but you're not out!

Good thing they're so rare.. depending on the race. I have read that the average Hispanic man is 5'4. Not sure if true. Although they are probably at least well received by fellow Hispanic women.

I'd like to move somewhere shorter.. lol. Too many Germans and Scandinavians around..

 

[DragonFox91]

I'm tired of this.

 

[BloodWashed91]

This may be an unpopular statement, but I'll just share it and ask whoever it may concern to pray about it and ask God if it is true. Don't shoot the messenger. And I'm not saying you have to believe me; I'm just saying: pray about it.

This is what I would like to share:

Masturbation is demonic. Very demonic. And not only that, but there are spiritual implications to it, like cleaving to demons, and thereby also preventing God's blessing of marriage upon your life. If you are committing this sin, or have in the past and never repented, please repent and ask God to deliver you of any consequences from it. Incubus/succubus/spiritual husband/wife are a very real thing. (Some signs could be if you have sexual dreams, or constantly dream that you are married. It could be a way to reveal to you what is taking place in the spirit. There are more signs. Ask God to reveal to you if this could be the case for you. If it is, and you don't seek deliverance, you might actually end up not marrying or getting children because you're already married in the spirit.)

People have actually gotten possessed through masturbation, and sometimes these demons will while being cast out often scream "I'm not letting him/her go, he/she is my wife!!!" (revealing the presence of a so-called "spiritual husband/wife"). Very real. The people involved will sometimes tell you that they remember having sexual dreams or experiencing sleep paralyis and rape, but never realised that this was actually the spiritual spouse. You could be possessed but you could also only be oppressed by them without possession. You don't have to be possessed by them in order for them to cleave to you and block your marriage from taking place. You committing sexual sin is giving them rights to your life. But these demons will do everything to block your God-ordained spouse and you from being connected.

The devil hates these marriages very much because they are a danger for his kingdom. He would love for children of God to link up with other people than their God-ordained spouses, that's why he works so hard to either destroy these marriages or even prevent them from happening.​

TL;DR: masturbation is not only sin and rebellion to God, but also dangerous (opens one up for demonic oppression or possession) and can rob you of God's blessing for your life including marriage. Repent. Seek deliverance if necessary.

Also: God bless you. If you disagree, that's perfectly okay. Like I said, I could've kept it to myself but my hope is that people will ask God to confirm to them whether this is true, and if I thereby can turn a brother/sister from their sin it would be great.

 

[pc_76]

I have to give a motion of disagreement that masturbation by itself is dangerous. Sinful and impure? Debatable, at least.

But I do think that like what @DragonFox91 said about guys having it a little harder in dating, it's like an unfair burden being placed on the shoulder. I can count several women close to my age, including overtly Christian, who been with somebody and even did the deed with them and had a child outside of a marriage at least once. Yet, here we are, still left out from it. Desperation.

 

[bèlla]

I can count several women close to my age, including overtly Christian, who been with somebody and even did the deed with them and had a child outside of a marriage at least once. Yet, here we are, still left out from it. Desperation.

Are you suggesting those who've had relations or children should have fewer opportunities than those who haven't?

Have you considered the probability other qualities outweigh their challenges and haven't dampened their prospects?

ETA: If you're expecting a reward for failing to sin in one way while sinning in another that's unrealistic.

 

[DragonFox91]

I have to give a motion of disagreement that masturbation by itself is dangerous. Sinful and impure? Debatable, at least.

But I do think that like what @DragonFox91 said about guys having it a little harder in dating, it's like an unfair burden being placed on the shoulder. I can count several women close to my age, including overtly Christian, who been with somebody and even did the deed with them and had a child outside of a marriage at least once. Yet, here we are, still left out from it. Desperation.

I agree w/ the Bolded. I noticed it a lot too. Many people notice it. Churches are afraid of being strict w/ it for many, many reasons. But then the problem persists.

I think at minimum churches need to set up accountability partners for unmarried couples, be it a counselor or peer, or someone well-established in the church for spiritual growth & issues believers face.

If I were to ever get GF, I'd take her to my counselor & we'd work w/ him on this. If that's too formal for her or she's uncomfortable w/ something like that, maybe wants something less 'formal', I'd see if someone in the church could assist. I hope this isn't too strict for her. Couples who aren't serious w/ the issue will fail 100 times out of 100.

 

[DragonFox91]

Are you suggesting those who've had relations or children should have fewer opportunities than those who haven't?

Have you considered the probability other qualities outweigh their challenges and haven't dampened their prospects?

ETA: If you're expecting a reward for failing to sin in one way while sinning in another that's unrealistic.

He's just saying it's not fair.

 

[bèlla]

He's just saying it's not fair.

God never promised fairness. That's a human construct.

 

[DragonFox91]

God never promised fairness. That's a human construct.

No Kidding!!

 

[bèlla]

I agree w/ the Bolded. I noticed it a lot too. Many people notice it. Churches are afraid of being strict w/ it for many, many reasons. But then the problem persists.

Sexual activity has nothing to do with counseling or accountability. It is a question of want and self-control. Just like exercise. If you're committed to doing the right thing you will. If you aren't you won't.

 

[DragonFox91]

Sexual activity has nothing to do with counseling or accountability. It is a question of want and self-control. Just like exercise. If you're committed to doing the right thing you will. If you aren't you won't.

I thought you were big into coaches???

Lot of people must not want to or have very very bad self-control. Which is interesting b/c it's TWO people.

 

[bèlla]

I thought you were big into coaches???

Lot of people must not want to or have very very bad self-control. Which is interesting b/c it's TWO people.

You meant relational coaches. I see.

Abstinence is a factor of willpower and conviction. Ease depends on your ruler. Those led by the flesh are more susceptible than others. Emotion is second. People compromise because of their feelings. But if the mind is set it's hard to change unless the person wants to bend.