29 & Never Dated

[DragonFox91]

What kind of help are you looking to receive from Him?

I ask him everything.

If he does want me to date & get married:
Patience until it happens, & that I can meet her
Patience w/ her
I can love her & care for her & share w/ her & lead her & understand her
That Jesus is the center
That he be preparing her & loving her & blessing her & she can love & understand me
Among many, many other things

If he doesn't want me to date & get married:
That I can be happy & bitterness, rejection, sadness, anger, frustration, temptation go away
That the desire be taken away
I need to add more things when I ask him about this, but I really, really don't want to be single

 

[DragonFox91]

Today my parents helped me w/ my flooring project. I felt like crying the whole time. I feel like a little kid, 29 & still relying on help from my parents so much. I wish I had a woman to help me w/ it like other men my age, they love home improvement stuff. I have the money for new flooring, but I wish I could spend on a woman & children. I wish I could've been thankful when my parents were here, lot of men don't have a woman, lot of people don't have helpful parents, lot of people don't have the money for flooring projects, lot of people don't have their own place, but I couldn't be thankful. I felt so in the dark.

My parents asked me if I ever got lonely right before they left, & I said yes so much & I don't want to work from home my whole life, my dad started to tease me a bit, then said I should ask my friend's sister (she's said no many times), but I have a hard time saying that I tried w/ her, & I was too sad at that point to ask about that woman at church I'm eyeing.

I cried after they left.

EDIT: now they're gone, I miss them. I knew that would happen. I just wish they were easier to talk to about my emotional needs. I still didnt talk to them about me having to take Buspro b/c I had a couple random crying breakdowns.

 

[ReesePiece23]

I think when COVID is under control you should just rip the plaster off and get out there, meet people and perhaps travel the world a bit. Everything that scares you is what you NOW need to do, and everything you need is over on the other side of those BOLD moves.

At this point, what's the worse? The discomfort of forcing yourself to move? Or the pain of being bored and lonely?

I've been deficient, I've been abundant. Deficient, then abundant again. Regardless of what changed, the one thing that stayed the same was where the line between the two was. The line will never move - only I could do that.

If you take one step a day between now and your 31st birthday then you'll have walked the spiritual equivalent of Michigan to the Australian Outback.

 

[DragonFox91]

Today I went to the church w/ the "singles" ministry.

I felt sad during the service: a couple my age (or younger) gave their testimony, which largely related to how they met in college, including how even tho she wanted him to ask her out, he waited a long time b/c he wanted to know she wasn't just pretending to be strong in faith to get close to him.
Then another couple my age (or younger) presented their new baby to be blessed.

I felt really sad. I want those things, have wanted those things.

The "singles" ministry my mood was improved. Yeah, the group is still 8-2 woman (one woman married, one woman in a relationship) but at least all of the guys are single except the 2. They are easy to talk to, I participated, smiled, shared, etc. Basically, I felt like I was part of the group. I liked it.

But it just feels like another dead-end.

To vent some: I can't believe I go to 3 different churches & only one has a couple single girls. I have no idea where single Christian girls go, but evidently it's not churches, which is kind of sad considering the 20 or so single men my age split between these 3 churches. Even if single women don't need to go to church to meet men & have other options, shouldn't they still be going to church anyways???

I think when COVID is under control you should just rip the plaster off and get out there, meet people and perhaps travel the world a bit. Everything that scares you is what you NOW need to do, and everything you need is over on the other side of those BOLD moves.

At this point, what's the worse? The discomfort of forcing yourself to move? Or the pain of being bored and lonely?

I've been deficient, I've been abundant. Deficient, then abundant again. Regardless of what changed, the one thing that stayed the same was where the line between the two was. The line will never move - only I could do that.

If you take one step a day between now and your 31st birthday then you'll have walked the spiritual equivalent of Michigan to the Australian Outback.

Traveling the world wouldn't help

 

[DragonFox91]

On a related note, churches are so scared of singles meeting at church, it hurts them. Singles longing to meet at church don't find a partner there & turn to the world for a partner instead. The world partner's ideals wins out, so not only do you lose on the single who left the church to find their partner, you're probably going to lose out on their kids too. Meanwhile you could have 2 singles meet at church: you don't lose them, as long as their faith stays strong you're going to have their kids while they grow up so you have at least a grip on that generation, plus you get the couples' ministry.
Churches shoot themselves in the foot over this IMO.

 

[DragonFox91]

I am so frustrated
I can't do this my whole life

 

[DragonFox91]

Not good right now

 

[MehGuy]

How decent looking are you? I don't think it would be too hard for you to meet a woman.. unless you're being unrealistic about who you want.

 

[DragonFox91]

How decent looking are you? I don't think it would be too hard for you to meet a woman.. unless you're being unrealistic about who you want.

Hi. Thank you for responding.

I have a long/big nose, I know could be a potential turn-off, but I've seen men w/ similar noses have girlfriends/wives, including my cousin. Maybe I'll meet a girl someday w/ a nose fetish.

I used to be really, really, really skinny. I've put on weight (combo of going to gym, eating more, & just getting older), so I don't feel quite like the runt of the litter anymore. This is a relatively newer development, w/in the last few years. I finally feel confident about my weight, tho I'm not meeting single women I could date anymore.

 

[MehGuy]

Hi. Thank you for responding.

I have a long/big nose, I know could be a potential turn-off, but I've seen men w/ similar noses have girlfriends/wives, including my cousin. Maybe I'll meet a girl someday w/ a nose fetish.

I used to be really, really, really skinny. I've put on weight (combo of going to gym, eating more, & just getting older), so I don't feel quite like the runt of the litter anymore. This is a relatively newer development, w/in the last few years. I finally feel confident about my weight, tho I'm not meeting single women I could date anymore.

Sounds kind of like me.. I have a strong roman nose (some women prefer that and find it highly masculine.. and biologically it kind of is..) and I use to be quite skinny as well.. but filled out slowly during my 20s.

 

[DragonFox91]

Sounds kind of like me.. I have a strong roman nose (some women prefer that and find it highly masculine.. and biologically it kind of is..) and I use to be quite skinny as well.. but filled out slowly during my 20s.

Yep! That's me!
So I Googled Roman nose, I'd never heard of that term before - & aye, that's my nose, the longest examples.

So what do you think?

Also, I'm looking at nose pictures. It's interesting all the different shapes & sizes noses come in.

Also, also, for women who could be reading this: if you're insecure about your nose, I don't mind bigger/longer noses.

 

[MehGuy]

Yep! That's me!
So I Googled Roman nose, I'd never heard of that term before - & aye, that's my nose, the longest examples.

So what do you think?

I might be biased.. but I think the nose is fine.. lol.. makes the face look more sturdy. Men with smaller noses are more feminine.. lol.

 

[DragonFox91]

I might be biased.. but I think the nose is fine.. lol.. makes the face look more sturdy. Men with smaller noses are more feminine.. lol.

You're probably aware of the challenges involved w/ both those traits, tho at least the weight isn't anymore.

 

[MehGuy]

You're probably aware of the challenges involved w/ both those traits, tho at least the weight isn't anymore.

I don't know.. the only trouble my nose has gotten me is some anti-Semitic people thinking I'm a Jew.. lol.

Although yeah.. my once skinny body yeah, lol..

 

[DragonFox91]

I don't know.. the only trouble my nose has gotten me is some anti-Semitic people thinking I'm a Jew.. lol.

Bleh, I hate it when I get that!

Although yeah.. my once skinny body yeah, lol..

Yep you know exactly what I'm talking about!

 

[MehGuy]

Bleh, I hate it when I get that!

Oh really you've gotten it too? Been years since I've gotten it.. now it's more like "hey... are you Italian?"

Yep you know exactly what I'm talking about!

Yeah. I still feel somewhat guilty and phony when I try to look at myself as masculine. My family is pretty neotenous for European heritage.. so I've always never had the largest hands or widest shoulders or anything.

 

[DragonFox91]

Oh really you've gotten it too? Been years since I've gotten it.. now it's more like "hey... are you Italian?"

Oh, yes. Many times. I've never got Italian, so that's good I guess.

Yeah. I still feel somewhat guilty and phony when I try to look at myself as masculine. My family is pretty neotenous for European heritage.. so I've always never had the largest hands or widest shoulders or anything.

Same. Weights have helped w/ shoulders & other body parts. They don't make weights that increase hand size, at least that I'm aware of.

 

[DragonFox91]

Bleh, this is so frustrating. If God wants me to be a boyfriend/husband, I wonder what he's waiting on? Do I have to advance my career more? I guess I'll wait & see if my current position is going to be permanent from home, if so, I'm out.

 

[DragonFox91]

I can't do this my whole life. I feel so frustrated & hopeless. It needs to end

 

[Sketcher]

Bleh, this is so frustrating. If God wants me to be a boyfriend/husband, I wonder what he's waiting on? Do I have to advance my career more? I guess I'll wait & see if my current position is going to be permanent from home, if so, I'm out.

You have to do the work to make that happen, God's will or not.