29 & Never Dated

[Juan777]

Also, I should note that if I could do it over, I would rather wait longer than get involved with that person.

While memories fade over time, I have no regrets to the wrong person. In fact, I am rewatching Stargate Atlantis which is a clean sci fi show. She introduced me to it and we watched it together (but we broke up before we came to the final episodes the last season which I watched solo at the time).

 

[pc_76]

I wonder if there are more people that are discouraged by the prospect of never being able to get a God-ordained kind of relationship model that they throw up their hands and say "Ok, I give up on such a prospect and it would be better to fornicate and ask for forgiveness. I know the Bible says that is sin, but I was born into this crappy sinful world. I only live once and I'll get it if it's the best deal I'll be able to get from the modern society I was born into." I know what decision I made.

 

[Juan777]

I wonder if there are more people that are discouraged by the prospect of never being able to get a God-ordained kind of relationship model that they throw up their hands and say "Ok, I give up on such a prospect and it would be better to fornicate and ask for forgiveness. I know the Bible says that is sin, but I was born into this crappy sinful world. I only live once and I'll get it if it's the best deal I'll be able to get from the modern society I was born into." I know what decision I made.

When you say fornicate do you mean actual fornication with women or just lusting? If a woman is willing for fornicate with you then she should be willing to marry you if she loves you, otherwise she's just using you for sex (and she of herself is driven by a devil to try to get you to sin).

 

[DragonFox91]

I feel so terrible this morning. It never changes. Dating feels so outdated. There's not any singles left worth dating.
I haven't been to the "singles" group in 2-3 months. God will never let me date if I don't go.
Girls are too hard for me.
I've been doing so good but today is bad. I hate being single. I've always wanted to date but I get nothing.
Theres not any at work or church. No one ever knows a single. No one ever has a daughter or granddaughter or friend they want me to meet. No one helps. They just say itll happen when it happens
Im a failure with girls

 

[Juan777]

I feel so terrible this morning.

When I wake up from bed (ie after 7:30am), I make sure to thank God for three things:
1) That I did actually wake-up (people can die in their sleep, many do and end up in hell).
2) That I had a decent sleep (if I did).
3) That Jesus saved my soul. Imagine we were on our way to hell and Jesus SAVED us. Do you realize how awful the real hell is and the fact you are going to heaven is enough to be thankful about that no matter what state you are in?

This helps keep me in check. It forces you to think about Christ and Him Crucified. What He paid to free you from your sins. Don't forget that. You can't feel terrible about that!

It never changes. Dating feels so outdated. There's not any singles left worth dating.
I haven't been to the "singles" group in 2-3 months. God will never let me date if I don't go.
Girls are too hard for me.

You are able to date girls you meet in singles groups? You mean Christian singles groups? In this case you are doing better than I did. You are talking about months, while I talking about years and decades so you are not so bad.

I've been doing so good but today is bad. I hate being single. I've always wanted to date but I get nothing.
Theres not any at work or church. No one ever knows a single. No one ever has a daughter or granddaughter or friend they want me to meet. No one helps. They just say itll happen when it happens
Im a failure with girls

This is a Sunday, so you went to church today? Did you come back from church and nobody took you on? What is the occasion of this?

 

[DragonFox91]

Yeah, I have a lot to be thankful for. I am truly blessed. Dating shouldn't upset me b/c I am otherwise happy.

Yeah, you can date in the singles group. It is a Christian group. The guy-girl ratio is 12-2 on a good day, tho.

No, unfortunately I did not go to to church today. I don't know what triggered being upset today. Just a bad day, I guess. I am now sad just for no reason. I'm sure that'll go away.

I like going to the Singles group even tho there's not a girl for me. But I haven't been in a long time. I don't know why. I just haven't. I work all week & it's just easy to say I don't feel like going today. I always think 'I'll go next week', then next week comes, & I don't. I still occasionally go to church w/ my parents, but there's no girls there either.

Now I looked out the window. My new-ish neighbor has a girlfriend. Not surprised. They always do. Reminds me of college living in a dorm & everyone in the hall was dating someone but me.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I like going to the Singles group even tho there's not a girl for me.

Be luck you even have a singles group in church, where I live, although they HAD singles group...at one time, they all but completely died off.

Singles group typically have an expiration date I think. Somewhere down the line there's something that causes it to die off.
Either too many people couple up and disappear, causing the group to fade or some kind of drama occurs...or, simply no interest in the selection that you come across in these groups....meaning, if most are socially awkward or don't keep up with hygiene, they scare others off.

 

[DragonFox91]

Be luck you even have a singles group in church, where I live, although they HAD singles group...at one time, they all but completely died off.

Singles group typically have an expiration date I think. Somewhere down the line there's something that causes it to die off.
Either too many people couple up and disappear, causing the group to fade or some kind of drama occurs...or, simply no interest in the selection that you come across in these groups....meaning, if most are socially awkward or don't keep up with hygiene, they scare others off.

They shouldn't. Every year at the least you should continuously have high schooler's graduating into it. Plus, there's no way every one at a church is married.

But yes, a lot of churches don't even bother w/ them b/c they're scared of what might happen w/ singles who want a relationship.

 

[Juan777]

I don't know what triggered being upset today. Just a bad day, I guess. I am now sad just for no reason. I'm sure that'll go away.

These things hit everybody. They don't even go away when you have a girlfriend or are in a relationship. The types of thoughts you might get are just different, they go like this:
1) Is she really into me or am I wasting my time with her?
2) This is too good to be true. Will this last?
3) She did not pick up the phone? I wonder what she's up to.
4) She did not reply to my email yet. I wonder if I should call her or continue waiting?
5) Why aren't we taking photos together? Is she introducing me to her friends? How are they reacting to us together?

I just want you to know having experienced both sides that these types of negative thoughts you might be getting now do not simply go away unless you have some crazy in love girl with you that showers you with love every day....but then again, even scenarios like that are suspect because a girl that's too interested too fast can also turn just as fast.

There are allot of dynamics with these things. The best thing to do is understand, the type of negative thoughts you are experiencing now, or when they hit you, is not as bad as compared to when you are in a relationship where you have invested time, money, emotions and mental energy into it and STILL feel insecure about the girl. Right now you have simple thoughts, but you are young, free and have your whole life ahead of you still.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

They shouldn't. Every year at the least you should continuously have high schooler's graduating into it. Plus, there's no way every one at a church is married.

But yes, a lot of churches don't even bother w/ them b/c they're scared of what might happen w/ singles who want a relationship.

Elaborate.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Elaborate.

These things hit everybody. They don't even go away when you have a girlfriend or are in a relationship. The types of thoughts you might get are just different, they go like this:
1) Is she really into me or am I wasting my time with her?
2) This is too good to be true. Will this last?
3) She did not pick up the phone? I wonder what she's up to.
4) She did not reply to my email yet. I wonder if I should call her or continue waiting?
5) Why aren't we taking photos together? Is she introducing me to her friends? How are they reacting to us together?

I just want you to know having experienced both sides that these types of negative thoughts you might be getting now do not simply go away unless you have some crazy in love girl with you that showers you with love every day....but then again, even scenarios like that are suspect because a girl that's too interested too fast can also turn just as fast.

There are allot of dynamics with these things. The best thing to do is understand, the type of negative thoughts you are experiencing now, or when they hit you, is not as bad as compared to when you are in a relationship where you have invested time, money, emotions and mental energy into it and STILL feel insecure about the girl. Right now you have simple thoughts, but you are young, free and have your whole life ahead of you still.

...Also, once they leave high school, they go off to college far far away, and wind up dating/ having relationships and even marry someone they met in their Economics class or in the student common area/Student Union. lol

 

[DragonFox91]

Elaborate.

Abuse

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Abuse

No I mean, why would churches be afraid of people wanting a relationship? How's that abuse?

 

[DragonFox91]

I'm just so sad in general right now.
I hate technology. I hate how it's a subsitute for real flesh-and-blood interaction. Including TV.

No I mean, why would churches be afraid of people wanting a relationship? How's that abuse?

They're scared of it leading to abuse. Guys abusing the system to take advantage of girls.

 

[Juan777]

They're scared of it leading to abuse. Guys abusing the system to take advantage of girls.

That does not make sense in the modern age. Too antiquated. It's women that's usually more forward with premarital sex in this day and age then the men are. I've read posts on here of guys losing girls for taking a stand and refusing pre-maritial sex. This is not the 1950s. They didn't get the memo?

 

[DragonFox91]

I want to date & get married & care for one!

That does not make sense in the modern age. Too antiquated. It's women that's usually more forward with premarital sex in this day and age then the men are. I've read posts on here of guys losing girls for taking a stand and refusing pre-maritial sex. This is not the 1950s. They didn't get the memo?

Yeah, I think the idea that women aren't as sexual as men is nonsense.

 

[pc_76]

That does not make sense in the modern age. Too antiquated. It's women that's usually more forward with premarital sex in this day and age then the men are. I've read posts on here of guys losing girls for taking a stand and refusing pre-maritial sex. This is not the 1950s. They didn't get the memo?

Only because girls can afford it more and have the opportunity more often.

 

[DragonFox91]

Not to beat a dead horse, but I think Feminism played a role in that.

 

[pc_76]

It did, as well as the invention of birth control. For the record, if it was the 1950s or earlier, I would have more incentive to want to save it strictly for marriage. Not today, though.

 

[DragonFox91]

Plus I think girls see it as affirmation they're pretty. So that contributes to it as well.