online dating

[Blank123]

I met Timothy on plentyoffish.com and I'd say it's working out alrightl so far.

yay

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

Sorry to hear; that's gotta be really frustrating. Have you thought much about/looked into volunteering? Who knows whether or not you'll find Mr. Right or even Mr. Dateable Right Now there, but he could only be a friend of a friend away.

Thanks. It is frustrating. I mean I'm unemployed and basically just spend my days in front of a computer screen. Tis sad. I've volunteered in the past before at my church but it just got to the point where my heart wasn't in it so I quit. The ministry I'd like to get involved in at my church doesn't have any opportunities. It's very frustrating.

 

[MacFall]

I've tried about a half-dozen sites, and so far I've only had interest expressed by a couple of obvious scams. In my experience, most people go to those sites, try to find the hottest profile pics, and ignore everybody else. Personal profiles? Shared interests? Compatibility matching? Don't make me lol.

 

[Stravinsk]

I think the internet is a great tool for weeding out undesireables easily and possibly meeting someone with whom you'll connect. I met my wife online, and our chats followed by phone chats, followed by a visit to Australia is the reason I am half Aussie today.

The upside is that you can get a fair idea of how they think, what they believe and what they value without the risk of certain temptations too early. I think it's probably a fair statement that even on this forum, most people who have been here a while would definately make some initial assessment of the other person's potential suitability based on what they've said or how they've acted/reacted to textual stimuli. I know I have, and I'm sure others have about me.

The downside is that people lie and non-texual clues (ie: body language, voice) leaves you with only part of the picture. But I've found out that, even in online person to person chats - eventually that nagging feeling that something's not right bears itself out. Sometimes it comes with the first phone call. I became fairly close with a certain female online - but a few things she said (and didn't say) always left a nagging uncertainty about her that I couldn't quite place my finger on for various reasons. Hearing her voice and what she said confirmed and highlighted those doubts.

 

[MacFall]

I think the internet is a great tool for weeding out undesireables easily

Too easily, is where I have a problem with it. Seriously, I have my pictures and profile all over the interwebs and I have yet to have a single positive response. I believe it's because girls see that I don't match their preferred physical appearance, and just walk on by - the same problem that I have with IRL relationships. But on a place like a forum, you can get to know someone personally, even intimately, before you ever see what they look like. And that knowledge affects one's opinion of another's appearance.

 

[Obzocky]

I think if you have a gregarious online personality that allows you to send interesting introductory messages/are capable of writing interesting about me sections designed to make people want to know more about you then they can be useful dating tools. I don't feel comfortable with it, but if you are it cannot be denied there have been multiple success stories. Even if there are those who find themselves getting less and less enthused about the online dating world.


I'm not sure if i'd be open to it, because I box people into online friends and offline friends and it's very, very difficult for me to see them crossover so I imagine i'd be very awkward when if it ever came to online dating.

 

[Trashionista]

No. Unless the random creeper Facebook Friend requests count. Never seriously added/kept one on the friend's list/talked to one though.

I don't doubt there are people who meet on-line, through dating sites, and live happily ever after. My former BFF (long story) met her boyfriend on Facebook and he's just creepy. She's got her issues too, which is probably why she's still with him, but he has soured me on any possibility that I would ever internet date.

At the same token, I can understand being proactive and actively looking for a one-night stand at a club, or even on something like Ashley Madison. I just can't understand actively trying to find someone on the internet. Call me crazy, but I just believe in serendipity too much.

 

[Riot Riot Riot]

I don't think I could ever really get into those dating sites. They just seem so.......... bland. And they're sort of like advertisements. And that's just weird.

However, I think I could deal with meeting someone on a site like this. I think you'd get to see their personality more, and you'd get to know them better than you would on a dating site where they're obviously putting their best foot forward.
On a place like this, you see a lot of their personality in the way they handle threads and topics, and how they interract with other people.

Of course, I'm currently crushing big time... so I might be a bit biased. Hahahaha

 

[ulu]

At the same token, I can understand being proactive and actively looking for a one-night stand at a club, or even on something like Ashley Madison. I just can't understand actively trying to find someone on the internet.

Ashley Madison is through the internet. Although the people that hook up through it deserve each other,its concept is still sickening.

 

[Blank123]

never heard of Ashely Madison before this thread. I just googled it and ummm yeah, not cool.

 

[Trashionista]

Ashley Madison is through the internet. Although the people that hook up through it deserve each other,its concept is still sickening.

I'm aware. I realize I didn't make this quite clear, though.

I can understand trying to meet someone you're just planning to have sex with on the internet. Might not be something I would do or agree with or reccomend, but no matter.

I can't understand trying to find one's 'soul mate' online.

 

[Blank123]

its certainly not for everyone, but it does work for some. I think Kirk and Melissa would agree that it does anyhow

 

[Kevin_Wright]

Why not?

 

[aflower4God]

I have tried it, at my age (30's) I find that the very few men that I talked to were nothing but players. I didn't get much catches cause I don't wear make up or looked like I just stepped out of Glamor magazine. My nose is not turned up and I don't have 100% flawless skin. Plus I am me, unique and I say it like it is, I do NOT beleive in mind games, that must have been a major turn off to the men that I encountered. So for me online dating is a DON'T, but that is for a gal like me. I hope that it works out for you my dear sweet loving friend. Good luck, praying for ya {{{{BIG HUGS}}}

 

[ulu]

I can understand trying to meet someone you're just planning to have sex with on the internet. Might not be something I would do or agree with or reccomend, but no matter.
.

Do you have any issue with a site like ashley madison that is specifically for married people to find people to cheat with?

 

[Trashionista]

Do you have any issue with a site like ashley madison that is specifically for married people to find people to cheat with?

No. I take some issue with people who will use a site like that, but I don't think you can blame the creator for capitalizing on something that's been going on since humans discovered monogamy.

 

[CoachR64]

I am not a fan of online dating for the purpose of long distance dating/courtship, but I have successfully used online dating to meet local single Christian girls and go on dates with them. To me, that is really no different than meeting someone in a bar, at the grocery store, at church, etc...

Now I still don't understand the idea of starting and maintaining a relationship almost solely through the internet, but I think it can be a great tool to meet people locally to hang out with.

Coach

 

[toastface_grillah]

Thanks. It is frustrating. I mean I'm unemployed and basically just spend my days in front of a computer screen. Tis sad. I've volunteered in the past before at my church but it just got to the point where my heart wasn't in it so I quit. The ministry I'd like to get involved in at my church doesn't have any opportunities. It's very frustrating.

Sorry to hear. I thought I saw a thread a month or two ago that you'd gotten a job. (??)
About volunteering, even secular things can be worthwhile, if your interests and the organization's interests line up. And you never know who you can meet through people. A girl I knew in college awhile back wasn't a Christian herself, but she had a friend who was.
The friend was never a romantic interest (she went to college in Boston, about 5 hours away), but we did become good friends, and are still Facebook buddies to this day.

 

[LadyOfMystery]

I agree, it's no different than meeting someone from a coffee shop or whatever. I think people forget that everyone is a stranger until you meet them. Online or offline. Also, people are just as bad in the real world and on the internet. If they're going to be untrustworthy, and bad, then they're most likely that way in real life too. I've noticed that a lot of complaints about "online dating" or long distance dating is that they can't see the person, so therefore you can't trust them. Well think of it this way, you're not always with your significant other while dating them - so who's to say you can trust them as well? Just a thought. Don't want to make anyone paranoid. lol

Also, I agree! I'm pretty sure it worked for Kirk & Melissa.

 

[Blank123]

I agree, it's no different than meeting someone from a coffee shop or whatever. I think people forget that everyone is a stranger until you meet them. Online or offline. Also, people are just as bad in the real world and on the internet. If they're going to be untrustworthy, and bad, then they're most likely that way in real life too. I've noticed that a lot of complaints about "online dating" or long distance dating is that they can't see the person, so therefore you can't trust them. Well think of it this way, you're not always with your significant other while dating them - so who's to say you can trust them as well? Just a thought. Don't want to make anyone paranoid. lol

Also, I agree! I'm pretty sure it worked for Kirk & Melissa.

good points