I used to wonder that myself. Just how much God could be in something that seemed to be so much of me. But I think I've had my perspective shifted after some studying. For instance, "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD." Not "Whoso getteth". Unless I'm reading something into it that isn't there, there is some implied action. Some seeking of something involved. You must be looking for something to find something.
Many people malign Samson for choosing women poorly. Some even go so far as to say it's proof that young people should not choose their own mates ("because look at the trouble Samson got into when
he did it!"). However in Judges 14:3 his parents said "Is there no woman among the daughters of your (A)relatives, or among all our people, that you go to (B)take a wife from the uncircumcised Philistines?" Notice they don't seem to be so much shocked that he chose on his own as they were that he chose someone who was not of Israel. Modern day analogy would be for a Christian to marry a non believer.
My criterion for when you know you've met someone to consider marrying was given to me by my family before me. It must not be because you were looking. It was almost like it had to be some kind of happenstance or
feeling that "made you know it was from the Lord". It then puzzled me when non-believers said the exact same thing about their relationships even if it was adulterous. The just
felt it was right. The had some awesome
circumstances that let them be together. I then rejected circumstances and feelings and began to look for something more concrete from the Bible.
At this point, I'm convinced that finding a mate is less feeling, less happenstance and more get-off-yer-butt-and-be-a-man/woman-dangit.
I just sat back and hoped I'd mow someone down in the grocery store, meet eyes, "know" they were the one and proceed to have decades of connubial bliss. Yeah, doesn't often happen that way. Great for those that it does happen to, but the Lord does not manufacture dice (Ummim and Thummim not withstanding), he makes yokes. In other words we have to shoulder responsibilities and take ownership of what we ought to be doing. Even making a eHarmony profile.
Wearing clean clothes and asking a girl out that you see in church seems no different at its core than telling about yourself and creating a profile on a site somewhere. It seems darn proactive and Godly to me. Less chance, more deliberation. I'd rather be with someone who was deliberate in what they knew they wanted and needed. God gave them those desires (so long as they weren't blatantly sinful) so it would be great to find someone who doens't play mind games or hope to find a mind-reader. I'll do my best to find out about you but please, also
tell me what you want! A person on a dating site at least has some notion of their preferences and isn't clammed up in not telling people what their desires are. Sounds like a great breeding ground for Godly communication to me.
As a side note: Wow can clams cause relationship problems. I think I'm scarred from a few clams in my family. I myself am a recovering clam.
Sure, Isaac was kickin' it in a field, thinking about God when his wife was brought to him. But
someone had to go find her. Ruth sure knew what was the right thing to do concerning Boaz. She didn't sit back and "pray about it" hoping something would happen. "Consider the ant, sluggard!" So she did and got a good man.
Wow, did I write all that? Hmmm... maybe that was best suited for another thread entirely. I might have to make one. "Spouses: Go and get one or hope you're given one?"