online dating

NoodlesNoodlesNoodles

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Sidenote: I saw a profile on there of one of the girls that was in my High School group when I was a pastor of those kiddies. She saw my profile....that was a bit awkward. :|
I imagine at the next youth group meeting you played the "Let's glance at eachother uncomfortably a few times and pretend we know nothing" game.

God later convicted me and I got rid of my profile.
May I ask what you were convicted of or is that too personal? I'm mostly curious if you think online dating is wrong in and of itself. I read the whole thread, but might have missed it.

but now I'm very lazy about going to church. I just don't like the situation there, and what's going on makes me feel even blacker than I usually am. :sorry:
It's a big city... just play church roulette. Randomly pick one that's somewhat close to your preferred denomination. New one every Sunday! Everyone's a winner! Step right up! ;)

Personal profiles? Shared interests? Compatibility matching? Don't make me lol.
reality.jpg
 
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penNpaper

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LDRs are turn offs for me right now :p

I'm for people meeting as friends and maybe it will lead to an LDR or RL couple and so on. Both people need to talk it through and established a date to meet to make it official as a couple or just be friends. After a year of an LDR you got to discuss where the relationship is going because if you don't it may lead to a DEAD END road and make the breakup a bigger mess and resentment. If both people think its time to just be friends, it does happen, the best for you both in life, you made the right call and God Bless your life for it.

I'm for online dating, I'm just against the whole dating sites. Because I dunno it just in my spirit that it is saying "your taking God out of it, and letting you make the call than Him in your Love Life when in fact you need to put Him in the middle of all relationships".

I'm not trying to pin point people in general...if it works for you...be so it...I'm happy for you. Just it doesn't work for me and I will never join a dating site in my life.

God Bless,
Drew
 
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Blank123

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LDRs yeah... having been in one for three years, i swore up and down i'd never get involved in another LDR. Its just too hard. Now that I've had time to properly heal and move on, I think I would be open to it again if thats where God leads me. but it would have to be something that he and I talk through and we agree upon a plan of action ahead of time before deciding we're a couple. Just being in a LDR for years on end is too draining an experience to go through again.
 
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penNpaper

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LDRs yeah... having been in one for three years, i swore up and down i'd never get involved in another LDR. Its just too hard. Now that I've had time to properly heal and move on, I think I would be open to it again if thats where God leads me. but it would have to be something that he and I talk through and we agree upon a plan of action ahead of time before deciding we're a couple. Just being in a LDR for years on end is too draining an experience to go through again.

True :) good insight L_T

God Bless,
Drew
 
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PeculiarTreasure

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Sorry to hear. :( I thought I saw a thread a month or two ago that you'd gotten a job. (??)
About volunteering, even secular things can be worthwhile, if your interests and the organization's interests line up. And you never know who you can meet through people. A girl I knew in college awhile back wasn't a Christian herself, but she had a friend who was.
The friend was never a romantic interest (she went to college in Boston, about 5 hours away), but we did become good friends, and are still Facebook buddies to this day.

I was selling Avon for awhile but I quit because the company went whacko. Because of their changes it wasn't paying me to work.:doh:

I've looked into various organizations but none really caught my attention.
 
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NoodlesNoodlesNoodles

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I'm for online dating, I'm just against the whole dating sites. Because I dunno it just in my spirit that it is saying "your taking God out of it, and letting you make the call than Him in your Love Life when in fact you need to put Him in the middle of all relationships".
I used to wonder that myself. Just how much God could be in something that seemed to be so much of me. But I think I've had my perspective shifted after some studying. For instance, "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD." Not "Whoso getteth". Unless I'm reading something into it that isn't there, there is some implied action. Some seeking of something involved. You must be looking for something to find something.

Many people malign Samson for choosing women poorly. Some even go so far as to say it's proof that young people should not choose their own mates ("because look at the trouble Samson got into when he did it!"). However in Judges 14:3 his parents said "Is there no woman among the daughters of your (A)relatives, or among all our people, that you go to (B)take a wife from the uncircumcised Philistines?" Notice they don't seem to be so much shocked that he chose on his own as they were that he chose someone who was not of Israel. Modern day analogy would be for a Christian to marry a non believer.

My criterion for when you know you've met someone to consider marrying was given to me by my family before me. It must not be because you were looking. It was almost like it had to be some kind of happenstance or feeling that "made you know it was from the Lord". It then puzzled me when non-believers said the exact same thing about their relationships even if it was adulterous. The just felt it was right. The had some awesome circumstances that let them be together. I then rejected circumstances and feelings and began to look for something more concrete from the Bible.

At this point, I'm convinced that finding a mate is less feeling, less happenstance and more get-off-yer-butt-and-be-a-man/woman-dangit. ;) I just sat back and hoped I'd mow someone down in the grocery store, meet eyes, "know" they were the one and proceed to have decades of connubial bliss. Yeah, doesn't often happen that way. Great for those that it does happen to, but the Lord does not manufacture dice (Ummim and Thummim not withstanding), he makes yokes. In other words we have to shoulder responsibilities and take ownership of what we ought to be doing. Even making a eHarmony profile.

Wearing clean clothes and asking a girl out that you see in church seems no different at its core than telling about yourself and creating a profile on a site somewhere. It seems darn proactive and Godly to me. Less chance, more deliberation. I'd rather be with someone who was deliberate in what they knew they wanted and needed. God gave them those desires (so long as they weren't blatantly sinful) so it would be great to find someone who doens't play mind games or hope to find a mind-reader. I'll do my best to find out about you but please, also tell me what you want! A person on a dating site at least has some notion of their preferences and isn't clammed up in not telling people what their desires are. Sounds like a great breeding ground for Godly communication to me.

As a side note: Wow can clams cause relationship problems. I think I'm scarred from a few clams in my family. I myself am a recovering clam.

Sure, Isaac was kickin' it in a field, thinking about God when his wife was brought to him. But someone had to go find her. Ruth sure knew what was the right thing to do concerning Boaz. She didn't sit back and "pray about it" hoping something would happen. "Consider the ant, sluggard!" So she did and got a good man.


Wow, did I write all that? Hmmm... maybe that was best suited for another thread entirely. I might have to make one. "Spouses: Go and get one or hope you're given one?"
 
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NoodlesNoodlesNoodles

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I was selling Avon for awhile but I quit because the company went whacko. Because of their changes it wasn't paying me to work.:doh:

I've looked into various organizations but none really caught my attention.
What are your preferences and skills? Ever thought about starting your own business with something? Crafts? doing something online? Heck, Amazon's Mechanical Turk can earn you a few shekels.
 
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PeculiarTreasure

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May I ask what you were convicted of or is that too personal? I'm mostly curious if you think online dating is wrong in and of itself. I read the whole thread, but might have missed it.


God convicted me of taking things into my own hands. He basically told me "Crystal, you need to let go of this and let me handle it." Also, I was just spending more time "looking for a guy" than I was spending with Him. I was trying to find "my worth" in the site if that makes sense. It took a toll on my self esteem. I was basing my self esteem and confidence on weather or not a guy wrote me back, looked at my profile or not etc. It was doing more harm than good.

I don't necessarily think it's wrong I was just trying to do what God told me to do.

Hope that makes sense.:)


What are your preferences and skills? Ever thought about starting your own business with something? Crafts? doing something online? Heck, Amazon's Mechanical Turk can earn you a few shekels.

Well, I would love to be involved in some sort of music ministry or something of that nature.

I'm actually looking into going back to school this Fall so hopefully God willing it'll happen.:)
 
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NoodlesNoodlesNoodles

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Well, I would love to be involved in some sort of music ministry or something of that nature.

I'm actually looking into going back to school this Fall so hopefully God willing it'll happen.:)
Can you give music lessons?

Hey, I know! Start your own record label! ;)
 
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Blank123

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I used to wonder that myself. Just how much God could be in something that seemed to be so much of me. But I think I've had my perspective shifted after some studying. For instance, "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD." Not "Whoso getteth". Unless I'm reading something into it that isn't there, there is some implied action. Some seeking of something involved. You must be looking for something to find something.

Many people malign Samson for choosing women poorly. Some even go so far as to say it's proof that young people should not choose their own mates ("because look at the trouble Samson got into when he did it!"). However in Judges 14:3 his parents said "Is there no woman among the daughters of your (A)relatives, or among all our people, that you go to (B)take a wife from the uncircumcised Philistines?" Notice they don't seem to be so much shocked that he chose on his own as they were that he chose someone who was not of Israel. Modern day analogy would be for a Christian to marry a non believer.

My criterion for when you know you've met someone to consider marrying was given to me by my family before me. It must not be because you were looking. It was almost like it had to be some kind of happenstance or feeling that "made you know it was from the Lord". It then puzzled me when non-believers said the exact same thing about their relationships even if it was adulterous. The just felt it was right. The had some awesome circumstances that let them be together. I then rejected circumstances and feelings and began to look for something more concrete from the Bible.

At this point, I'm convinced that finding a mate is less feeling, less happenstance and more get-off-yer-butt-and-be-a-man/woman-dangit. ;) I just sat back and hoped I'd mow someone down in the grocery store, meet eyes, "know" they were the one and proceed to have decades of connubial bliss. Yeah, doesn't often happen that way. Great for those that it does happen to, but the Lord does not manufacture dice (Ummim and Thummim not withstanding), he makes yokes. In other words we have to shoulder responsibilities and take ownership of what we ought to be doing. Even making a eHarmony profile.

Wearing clean clothes and asking a girl out that you see in church seems no different at its core than telling about yourself and creating a profile on a site somewhere. It seems darn proactive and Godly to me. Less chance, more deliberation. I'd rather be with someone who was deliberate in what they knew they wanted and needed. God gave them those desires (so long as they weren't blatantly sinful) so it would be great to find someone who doens't play mind games or hope to find a mind-reader. I'll do my best to find out about you but please, also tell me what you want! A person on a dating site at least has some notion of their preferences and isn't clammed up in not telling people what their desires are. Sounds like a great breeding ground for Godly communication to me.

As a side note: Wow can clams cause relationship problems. I think I'm scarred from a few clams in my family. I myself am a recovering clam.

Sure, Isaac was kickin' it in a field, thinking about God when his wife was brought to him. But someone had to go find her. Ruth sure knew what was the right thing to do concerning Boaz. She didn't sit back and "pray about it" hoping something would happen. "Consider the ant, sluggard!" So she did and got a good man.


Wow, did I write all that? Hmmm... maybe that was best suited for another thread entirely. I might have to make one. "Spouses: Go and get one or hope you're given one?"


good post :)
 
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MacFall

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Mine is Crimson Deep Media. It's mostly just to publish my own music and writing, and that of a few friends of mine, at least until (and unless) it takes off. It's meant to be more of an internet publishing brand than an actual studio, although I do my own recording.
 
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voiceofsoul

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If you're a young guy, online dating is brutal. It is a pure numbers game, good for building up your stamina to handle rejection and get in some practice communicating with girls.

As a guy, you are nothing more than a number in the line of dozens of guys that a girl is talking to at any give time. Your odds of getting a response to your initial message are 1-in-3 at best. Your odds of keeping the girl interested in talking to you more than a few emails are still probably about 3:1. After that, you have to get them to meet you in person, which also has odds stacked against you. And even if you do get a girl on a date, you still maybe very well just a number in her line of dates she has set up that week!

I talked with one girl for 2 weeks online, asked her out, went out with her on what seemed like a pretty nice, normal coffee date where we had some funny conversation getting to know each other. Then, I call her up 2 days later and she's like "oh, sorry, I'm not available anymore,...I just got together with someone yesterday."
 
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NoodlesNoodlesNoodles

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If you're a young guy, online dating is brutal. It is a pure numbers game, good for building up your stamina to handle rejection and get in some practice communicating with girls.
But at least you're actively seeking and not whining on the sidelines. Play the man and a woman will be found.
 
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