The 4 A's

[bèlla]

I stumbled upon this message online and wanted to query the men. Since we're blessed in that regard I hope you're willing to weigh in and share your thoughts. The author is married and a Christian. This is what she wrote.

Do you agree with her statement? If yes, what appeals and why does it resonate? If not, why do you disagree? Would your list look the same? What would you add?

Ladies are welcome to participate.

There are no wrong answers. Please respect differences and respond with grace. May we be edified through our discourse.

~bella

 

[Reluctant Theologian]

Amen All true ...

Still, a wife can do all that while a husband struggles with his own issues that cause suffering for his wive; but doing the four A's foster an atmosphere that supports him in dealing with those struggles.

 

[bèlla]

Amen All true ...

Still, a wife can do all that and while a husband struggles with his own issues that cause suffering for his wive; but doing the four A's foster an atmosphere that supports him in dealing with those struggles.

I had similar thoughts as well. While I agreed with the statement there are instances when a different response is needed. We can't cosign sin or permit ourselves to be led astray knowingly. But how we address it is key. That's when you come full circle.

We know a soft and gentle and thoughtful answer turns away wrath, but harsh and painful and careless words stir up anger but in the heat of the moment we forget. You don't stop doing the A's when you're hurt, upset, disappointed or when he fails. That doesn't set aside our roles.

I addressed it in my quiet time. Several passages came to mind and I realized it's a commitment. A mindset you're determined to reinforce and a practice you won't neglect. If we establish no fly zones. Things we're unwilling to think, say or do no matter what occurs and we're consistent. The difficulties are easier to bear. We aren't burdened with the muck in addition to the problem.

That comes from a place of reverence and respect. A degree of honor that makes the other unfathomable. Our behavior isn't dependent on his. I'm reminded of a line from a song by Sara Groves (When It Was Over). She echoes your sentiments nicely.

There is a love that never fails
There is a healing that always prevails
There is a hope that whispers a vow
A promise to stay while we're working it out
So come with your love and wash over us

We need more of that.

~bella

 

[timewerx]

 

[Lost4words]

Woof!

 

[Neogaia777]

I stumbled upon this message online and wanted to query the men. Since we're blessed in that regard I hope you're willing to weigh in and share your thoughts. The author is married and a Christian. This is what she wrote.

View attachment 343611

Do you agree with her statement? If yes, what appeals and why does it resonate? If not, why do you disagree? Would your list look the same? What would you add?

Ladies are welcome to participate.

There are no wrong answers. Please respect differences and respond with grace. May we be edified through our discourse.

~bella

She might be hard to find, according to Proverbs 31:10-12, especially in today's age, or the quote/unquote "modern era".

Either that she would be already taken or already married by now, etc.

And there still also seems to be the ability to support her and/or costs involved with her also, and being on SSDI, I also don't think I could afford her also, as there would also have to be a kind of switching of classical roles involved also, etc.

Which I am totally capable of doing, but will she still respect me afterwards, or in the morning, etc, or not forsake me afterwards, or eventually, or in the morning, etc, or cheat on me at some point as well, etc.

And because of all of that, it would also take me a little while to build up the kind of trust that I would have to trust her with as well, etc.

Till then, I'll remain single, and not take that chance until I find a woman worthy of that, etc.

Which I expect to probably be dead probably before that ever happens, etc.

God Bless.

 

[bèlla]

She might be hard to find, according to Proverbs 31:10-12, especially in today's age, or the quote/unquote "modern era".

Hard to find. But not impossible. Remember that.

Either that she would be already taken or already married by now, etc.

Not necessarily. Many find the Lord as adults. They don't have a familial history of belief. She could be a late bloomer too. Or beset with responsibilities that forced her to wait. She may be insecure and struggle to meet suitors or put herself out there. She could be naive or prone to wrong choices in her companions. Maybe she's waiting for him to find her.

And there still also seems to be the ability to support her and/or costs involved with her also, and being on SSDI, I also don't think I could afford her also, as there would also have to be a kind of switching of classical roles involved also, etc.

Which I am totally capable of doing, but will she still respect me afterwards, or in the morning, etc, or not forsake me afterwards, or eventually, or in the morning, etc, or cheat on me at some point as well, etc.

And because of all of that, it would also take me a little while to build up the kind of trust that I would have to trust her with as well, etc.

I can't imagine the Lord sanctioning a connection where respect is lacking and you're mistreated because of your health. There's many ways to earn money within the home. That may be a better fit than traditional employment. Most of the content I watch is along those lines. The women have websites or YouTube channels or make products to sell online which supplements their income.

They have a garden and animals (in some cases) to minimize food expenses while improving their health. They make their meals from scratch and have simple lives.

Because of their work they can write off a portion of the garden expenses, food prepared on film and appliances. They get discounts, freebies and more. And it all began with a camera. They shared their lives with world and kept doing it.

Some work together and talk about faith or marriage. Some create separate entities. The options are vast. Don't assume your circumstances are beyond address. It's never been easier than it is today to do something else.

Till then, I'll remain single, and not take that chance until I find a woman worthy of that, etc.

Which I expect to probably be dead probably before that ever happens, etc.

God Bless.

You're more likely to encounter her while doing the things you enjoy. In the meantime, since you agree with the list, why don't you ask for it? Someone who embodies those qualities who fits you well.

When is the last time you reminded Him? That's okay you know.

~bella

 

[Neogaia777]

Hard to find. But not impossible. Remember that.



Not necessarily. Many find the Lord as adults. They don't have a familial history of belief. She could be a late bloomer too. Or beset with responsibilities that forced her to wait. She may be insecure and struggle to meet suitors or put herself out there. She could be naive or prone to wrong choices in her companions. Maybe she's waiting for him to find her.



I can't imagine the Lord sanctioning a connection where respect is lacking and you're mistreated because of your health. There's many ways to earn money within the home. That may be a better fit than traditional employment. Most of the content I watch is along those lines. The women have websites or YouTube channels or make products to sell online which supplements their income.

They have a garden and animals (in some cases) to minimize food expenses while improving their health. They make their meals from scratch and have simple lives.

Because of their work they can write off a portion of the garden expenses, food prepared on film and appliances. They get discounts, freebies and more. And it all began with a camera. They shared their lives with world and kept doing it.

Some work together and talk about faith or marriage. Some create separate entities. The options are vast. Don't assume your circumstances are beyond address. It's never been easier than it is today to do something else.



You're more likely to encounter her while doing the things you enjoy. In the meantime, since you agree with the list, why don't you ask for it? Someone who embodies those qualities who fits you well.

When is the last time you reminded Him? That's okay you know.

~bella

I think the problem might be that I'm content either way right now, and I'm also fine with my income level right now also, as I have learned how to do pretty well for myself off of it also, etc, and have everything materially or material-wise that I could ever want or need right now also, etc, and as for what else I could ever want or need in that area I can always save up for by just by managing my income well, etc, which I do do always every single month anyway, etc.

Anyway, I think I'm already too content right now maybe, and I'm maybe not wanting that to change right now maybe, etc.

God Bless.

 

[bèlla]

I think the problem might be that I'm content either way right now, and I'm also fine with my income level right now also, as I have learned how to do pretty well for myself off of it also, etc, and have everything materially or material-wise that I could ever want or need right now also, etc, and as for what else I could ever want or need in that area I can always save up for by just by managing my income well, etc, which I do do always every single month anyway, etc.

Anyway, I think I'm already too content right now maybe, and I'm maybe not wanting that to change right now maybe, etc.

God Bless.

Contentment can be a catch-all of sorts. Sometimes we're settled and happy where we are. Sometimes we're comfortable and unwilling to rock the boat without cause. Sometimes we're scared and familiarity feels safe.

God knows what you require and if movement's on the horizon I hope you'll embrace it. No matter what occurs I appreciate your input. I'm fairly certain you aren't alone in your concerns. And despite them all you were willing to speak. That takes courage and I doubt it's the last time you will.

God Bless you Neogaia.

~bella

 

[Neogaia777]

Contentment can be a catch-all of sorts. Sometimes we're settled and happy where we are. Sometimes we're comfortable and unwilling to rock the boat without cause. Sometimes we're scared and familiarity feels safe.

God knows what you require and if movement's on the horizon I hope you'll embrace it. No matter what occurs I appreciate your input. I'm fairly certain you aren't alone in your concerns. And despite them all you were willing to speak. That takes courage and I doubt it's the last time you will.

God Bless you Neogaia.

~bella

Thanks @bèlla

Going to bed and calling it a night.

God Bless!

 

[GodBeMercifulToMeASinner]

These 4 A’s should be a given in any relationship/marriage. For either side actually, the men should also apply it. But nowadays men and women are being pitted against one another by this modern Baal system. I can’t get too deep into all that here, it would likely be considered too controversial. But the Baal system which western culture currently operates under is in control of the political structure, the public schools and higher learning institutes, even private schools, the news and entertainment media, the legal system, the internet, social media and ‘social media influencer’ culture, and yes..organized western religion is also under the Baal system. And this system has been very destructive towards marriage, relationships, even relations between men and women in general.

The essence of the Baal system is the opposite of the 4 A’s. The system facilitates illicit hyper-sexualization, promiscuity, non-heterosexuality, prostitution, feminism, instant gratification, shacking up rather than marital commitment, quickie divorce (he left the cap off the toothpaste, she isn’t ‘hawt’ enough anymore), shallowness, selfishness, vanity, pride, prosperity and pleasure seeking, materialism, love of self, love of money, child sacrifice (abortion), and other antichrist ‘values’. The modern western culture would rather seek after other gods and provoke The Most High to anger rather than rely on Him. Just like the Baal system of the Old Testament. Nothing new under the sun. The 4 A’s unfortunately aren’t ‘the current thing’ but are definitely necessary for a successful marriage or even premarital relationship and should be applied by both parties.

Anyone who is familiar with the prophet Elijah, it was he who marked the beginning of the end of the Baal system in the Old Testament. He was a very determined, anointed man of God, up against the most wicked king of Israel ever to that point, Ahab (1 Kings 16:32-33). The prototype for today’s weak, emasculate numale. Not only that but Elijah was also up against his evil wife Jezebel, the prototype for today’s trendy feminist modern woman. They were responsible for bringing about a moral decline similar to what we see happening in western society today, including the mainstream religious system. Ahab built an alter and an Asherah pillar so that Jezebel could worship Canaanite and Phoenician solar and fertility gods/goddesses.

Under the modern Baal system we now have a society full of Jezebels who would never believe in the 4 A’s, and would rather follow after the idols introduced to them by the decadent modern culture, and Ahabs who are willing to settle for it and do not warrant the respect that it takes for a woman to even want to apply the 4 A’s. Unfortunately however, we do not have many Elijahs today to stand up to the wickedness. Only the ‘safe’ and salaried, ‘trained’ or better yet ‘conditioned’ and vetted modern pastors who will walk the party line for the sake of their career. They are the ones who have the biggest platform in mainstream religion. Being they are yoked up to one of the primary facilitators of the Baal system via 501c3 (or whatever the equivalent is in other nations) they will comply with, rather than swim against the tide of ‘progress’ (so-called). So no wonder the divorce rate of the mainstream religious system mirrors that of the world. They do not want to offend the majority of their audience, which is women who still embrace multiple aspects of the Baal system. It’s the truth. They’ll tell men that they need to be all this and that but will never be equally critical toward women. That’s where the majority of tithes and offerings come from, being they are over 1/2 of the modern religious system.

A relationship or marriage will not last if such consideration as the 4 A’s isn’t extended towards one’s significant other, it is sad that such things are now seen as going above and beyond. If seen at all. The Baal system seems to have a different set of the 4 A’s.

Anger
Passive Aggression
Adultery
Alimony

 

[bèlla]

A relationship or marriage will not last if such consideration as the 4 A’s isn’t extended towards one’s significant other, it is sad that such things are now seen as going above and beyond. If seen at all. The Baal system seems to have a different set of the 4 A’s.

Anger
Passive Aggression
Adultery
Alimony

In light of the above, do you believe the Lord preserved women with the disposition required for successful unions in this period or not? When Elijah despaired he discovered the ram in the bush. A hidden nugget that He hadn't revealed. He wasn't alone.

In like fashion, should we endeavor to entrust our desire for marriage and its fulfillment to the One who knows? For much like Esther, we were born in this age for reason. And we must assume the same Providence that dwelt with her is ours as well.

Perhaps they're hidden much like the other and moving quietly under the radar. At the appointed time we'll find we're not alone. The way seems bleak but dawn is near.

~bella

 

[Sketcher]

I like those, the question is will I like how someone believes in implementing those, and will she keep implementing those for me for the rest of her life?

 

[bèlla]

I like those, the question is will I like how someone believes in implementing those, and will she keep implementing those for me for the rest of her life?

In the simplest terms, it's a question of will and position. If we walk with the Lord the principle should be well established. The expression isn't autonomous. It's grounded in the word and reinforced by its precepts.

Biblically speaking, this implies (courtesy of Websters 1828):

Accept: To take or receive what is offered, with a consenting mind; to receive with approbation (liking/satisfaction) or favor. To regard with partiality; to value or esteem.

Admire: To regard with wonder or surprise, mingled with approbation, esteem, reverence or affection. To regard with affection; a familiar term for to love greatly.

Adapt: To make suitable; to fit or suit; as, to adapt an instrument to its uses; we have provision adapted to our wants. It is applied to things material or immaterial.

Appreciate: To value; to set a price or value on; to estimate; as, we seldom sufficiently appreciate the advantages we enjoy.

I've included the definitions as a courtesy for the reader. Dictionaries from this period frequently referenced the bible in their explanations. Which places the word in its proper context. Once she understands the term she can explore its application and look for biblical examples of its utilization.

That's how good teachings are reinforced: hearing, doing and modeling the directive. It becomes a practice and way of being that's entrenched in her constitution. While you are its primary target you aren't the lone recipient. She apportions the same in her duties and relations in the appropriate measure.

With that in mind, we move to the second part of your question. We've covered the why and how which are manifestations of the will as noted in the opening. Position addresses the crux of your concerns. Will it last?

Constancy requires commitment and recognition of place. That's what we encounter on the outside. The internal mechanism that powers the engine is welded in surrender. The initial acquiesce--the vow--and reinforcement--submission. That's the glue that holds it all.

In that statement lies deeper truths related to duty and purpose. The maturing of the will and divine belonging. The most notable expression is found in Songs.

Ani L'dodi V'dodi Li. I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine. Permanence personified.

There is no outward sign of true courtesy that does not rest on a deep moral foundation. --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~bella

 

[GodBeMercifulToMeASinner]

In light of the above, do you believe the Lord preserved women with the disposition required for successful unions in this period or not? When Elijah despaired he discovered the ram in the bush. A hidden nugget that He hadn't revealed. He wasn't alone.

In like fashion, should we endeavor to entrust our desire for marriage and its fulfillment to the One who knows? For much like Esther, we were born in this age for reason. And we must assume the same Providence that dwelt with her is ours as well.

Perhaps they're hidden much like the other and moving quietly under the radar. At the appointed time we'll find we're not alone. The way seems bleak but dawn is near.

~bella

Absolutely. I recommend that all Christians at least remain open to marriage. Sorry if the other post seemed it was suggesting otherwise. There’s still those who have the disposition for a successful marriage of course.

That earlier post was only referring to the overall conditions under this modern Baal system. The instant gratification, self indulgence, moral deterioration, materialism, vanity, and worse are the status quo, rather than more godly things such as the 4 A’s.

There’s still the ‘7,000’ so-to-speak, of this current age that have not bowed down to the Baal system just like in 1 Kings 19.

 

[bèlla]

Absolutely. I recommend that all Christians at least remain open to marriage. Sorry if the other post seemed it was suggesting otherwise. There’s still those who have the disposition for a successful marriage of course.

I'm glad to hear that. The moral decay is unsettling. But as with times of old a remnant remains who hasn't followed suit. These threads are gentle reminders of the same. It may seem bleak but we still exist.

I hope you're encouraged by the posts and continue to share your musings throughout,

~bella