Want to date or be dateable, attractive to women... Therapy or dating coach?

[bèlla]

Ver well put.....although, I know some people that have gotten together the old-fasihoned way...still, some are in their 20s. I know a co-worker that asked a co-worker out on a date...they became a couple, and are now engaged.

I prefer to make connections that way. Friends or otherwise. Even in professional circles I'd want to meet them in person at an event to solidify the bond. There's limits to this medium and things you can only detect in person.

Though, in person encounters DO exist between even people now, it's like they may be offended now that you approached them in person. They are thinking 'Dude, add me on Insta, and talk to me there....IF I even decide to respond!"

So mix it up. Find an excuse to get active. Join a club. Get involved in something artistic. Check out philanthropic options like Rotary. Diversify. You'll meet a lot of people if you have a social life. They won't all be believers but you'll expand your circle and draw them in and have fun in the process.

Have you ever read a classic book and they mentioned the season? That's what it was. A series of social events where people gathered to meet prospects. It happens today.

I have a very popular female friend on Facebook....instead of thanking everyone individually for their "Happy Birthdays"< she does it in announcement to the crowd format...impersonal.

Do you expect her to respond to everyone individually? What is she neglecting by doing so? You can look at it both ways.

~bella

 

[bèlla]

Sadly, this is all just an illusion that's posted on social media. Just...an...illusion.

It is and it isn't and that's the problem. For example, if you look at the hashtag #softlife or #thatgirl you'll see an aesthetic and activities centered around the theme. It isn't necessarily false. That's the end result they're working towards. While others may be a mixed bag. A bit of posturing with a dollop of r/t.

Most people aren't aesthetes but they're driving social media as are creatives of different stripes. Which makes ordinary less appealing to viewers because the others look exciting and they're trending. The secret is finding your people. They're out there. You have to know where to look.

I made a decision a long time ago to be me unapologetically. I won't allow anyone to turn me into something I'm not including believers and I embrace my difference and celebrate it.

I'm ultra-feminine and very traditional. I prefer classy over trends and dresses and heels over slacks and sneakers. And yoga pants are a no-no. I like looking pretty and being soft and having long tresses. I believe in makeup, good conversation and pleasing my beloved and not in that order.

You can thrive in this world when you have convictions you're unwilling to compromise and rest assured someone feels the same. I've never had a man take offense at the things I described. Only women had a problem. Understand? ;-)

Find your calling card and lead with that. If it's stability, dependability, etc. do what you can to reinforce it. And double down on the women who value it. That's the narrowing you want.

When I was contemplating suitors I limited myself to a certain type. They get me, accept me and I can be me. Why would I color outside those lines? Play to win not for a chance. You're at a disadvantage. Don't ever try to convince someone to like you or value you. They see your merit or they don't. But rest assured you have it.

I also read that 1 out of 5 marriages go south, due to a spouse looking up an old high school flame on social media.

Several years ago I heard someone address that while working on a project. She said she and her husband made an agreement while dating that they'd cut off those connections upon marriage and limit their associations to couples.

You're probably thinking that's radical. But they're still together and she wrote a NYT best seller on marriage. I was one of three singles on the project. The rest were married. We were brought in for our content and our perspectives were similar.

The moment she made that statement I knew she was right and I did a 180. I started forging connections with couples and cleaning house. I understood that sooner than later is best. When I wasn't conversing with singles anymore it was a dramatic difference. Don't get me wrong I'm saying it's bad.

But when most of my conversations were with women who had solid marriages who loved the Lord and honored their husbands the result was priceless. I had an endless stream of positive feedback from women who treasured their spouse and respected him when he erred.

That's the way I want to be. I don't put anything in my ear I don't want to emulate. You'll slip at some point. I protect my head.

~bella

 

[timewerx]

You have to be a living highlight reel. That's the new normal.

The fact that it is getting harder to achieve financial stability these days mainly from the high cost of living.

The internet and love of money is actually behind the rising cost of everything. The incessant promotion of expensive lifestyle is driving the cost of everything upwards. Ironically, it's also driving emissions and exploitation of resources upwards too. It's really bad.

Unfortunately, even Christians are hooked into this madness as well. They don't read their Bibles anymore, else they would realize, such lifestyle is against the very nature and teachings of Christ.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

The fact that it is getting harder to achieve financial stability these days mainly from the high cost of living.

The internet and love of money is actually behind the rising cost of everything. The incessant promotion of expensive lifestyle is driving the cost of everything upwards. Ironically, it's also driving emissions and exploitation of resources upwards too. It's really bad.

Unfortunately, even Christians are hooked into this madness as well. They don't read their Bibles anymore, else they would realize, such lifestyle is against the very nature and teachings of Christ.

Though it's behind a paywall, the housing crisis is facing an issue where less men are buying homes, and still living with their parents

The ‘growing crisis of the young American male’ could send home prices falling for years or even decades, says the 'Oracle of Wall Street’

Meredith Whitney says demographic shifts will ‘invert’ the housing market’s supply/demand dynamic.

fortune.com

If you Google the topic, more women are becoming homeowners than are men. Says a lot about the men I guess?

 

[LoveDivine]

Though it's behind a paywall, the housing crisis is facing an issue where less men are buying homes, and still living with their parents

The ‘growing crisis of the young American male’ could send home prices falling for years or even decades, says the 'Oracle of Wall Street’

Meredith Whitney says demographic shifts will ‘invert’ the housing market’s supply/demand dynamic.

fortune.com

If you Google the topic, more women are becoming homeowners than are men. Says a lot about the men I guess?

That is interesting. I wouldn't have thought that was the case.

I don't personally have a problem with a single man who lives with his parents. I would just be concerned if it was because he lacked ambition or drive to establish himself. So long as he was working and supporting himself, I wouldn't care. Some singles have a close bond with their family. There's no reason they need to move out if they enjoy living with family.

 

[bèlla]

Though it's behind a paywall, the housing crisis is facing an issue where less men are buying homes, and still living with their parents. If you Google the topic, more women are becoming homeowners than are men. Says a lot about the men I guess?

It's not surprising in light of other factors. Were you aware there's a WGTOW now? I saw the Reddit forum a few months ago. The energy is different from the male equivalent. If they get it right they'll breed overachievers. All the signs are there. Without the demands of a relationship and family I can see the formation of a new ideal.

~bella

 

[Miles]

Though it's behind a paywall, the housing crisis is facing an issue where less men are buying homes, and still living with their parents

The ‘growing crisis of the young American male’ could send home prices falling for years or even decades, says the 'Oracle of Wall Street’

Meredith Whitney says demographic shifts will ‘invert’ the housing market’s supply/demand dynamic.

fortune.com

If you Google the topic, more women are becoming homeowners than are men. Says a lot about the men I guess?

Historically, men comprised an even smaller percentage of single homeowners, but the home ownership gap is narrowing. Apparently, due to improvements in male life expectancy.

Single women own more homes than single men in the U.S., but that edge is narrowing

In 2022, single women owned 58% of the nearly 35.2 million homes owned by unmarried Americans, while single men owned 42%.

www.pewresearch.org

 

[timewerx]

Though it's behind a paywall, the housing crisis is facing an issue where less men are buying homes, and still living with their parents

The ‘growing crisis of the young American male’ could send home prices falling for years or even decades, says the 'Oracle of Wall Street’

Meredith Whitney says demographic shifts will ‘invert’ the housing market’s supply/demand dynamic.

fortune.com

If you Google the topic, more women are becoming homeowners than are men. Says a lot about the men I guess?

I have a cousin who will soon make 6 figures in a year but still living with his parents and no plans of moving out.

If you're going to tell it's about the salary. I really don't think salary has to do with it.

I think this is all about personality.

And I think it concerns ones ability to have a relationship with the opposite sex. Additionally, I found women to be more eager to have their own house and also moving out of their parent's house.

A man who is dating different women or always have a GF is more likely to get their own house.

 

[bèlla]

I have a cousin who will soon make 6 figures in a year but still living with his parents and no plans of moving out.

If you're going to tell it's about the salary. I really don't think salary has to do with it.

I think this is all about personality.

And I think it concerns ones ability to have a relationship with the opposite sex. Additionally, I found women to be more eager to have their own house and also moving out of their parent's house.

A man who is dating different women or always have a GF is more likely to get their own house.

I think it's a bit of both. In American culture no one says anything if a woman lives at home. Nor do they assume she's unable to afford to move. But men aren't given the same allowances. If they live at home the assumption is negative. Which could be wrong.

Many are struggling with the cost of living increases and more people remain at home much longer than before. It started with millennials. Universal basic income has been proposed as a solution. They're testing the program in every state. If you read the fine print they're tracking your spending. I'm not comfortable with that. But on the other hand it can help.

We'll have a ubi. That's a certainty. I haven't looked into it for a bit. Every state is giving different amounts. I'm uncertain if they'll roll it out to everyone or you'll have to apply. I hope there's a choice. It's been suggested in crypto circles it will be tied to digital currency and social credit. I think they're right.

~bella

 

[timewerx]

I think it's a bit of both. In American culture no one says anything if a woman lives at home. Nor do they assume she's unable to afford to move. But men aren't given the same allowances. If they live at home the assumption is negative. Which could be wrong.

Many are struggling with the cost of living increases and more people remain at home much longer than before. It started with millennials. Universal basic income has been proposed as a solution. They're testing the program in every state. If you read the fine print they're tracking your spending. I'm not comfortable with that. But on the other hand it can help.

We'll have a ubi. That's a certainty. I haven't looked into it for a bit. Every state is giving different amounts. I'm uncertain if they'll roll it out to everyone or you'll have to apply. I hope there's a choice. It's been suggested in crypto circles it will be tied to digital currency and social credit. I think they're right.

~bella

I have doubts on UBI especially the possibility of causing price inflation which will negate the benefits of UBI and things might actually end up worse than before.

Boys who doesn't have their own place are automatically seen as "losers". Just the way people are programmed. In my former circumstances, I also felt the strong desire to move out of my parent's house and doing so would make me happy.

 

[bèlla]

I have doubts on UBI especially the possibility of causing price inflation which will negate the benefits of UBI and things might actually end up worse than before.

I agree. It will appear helpful but I don't think it's going to be in the long run. I've had a bad feeling about it from the moment I read the article in Fortune magazine years ago. Long before people were discussing it. I sensed the devil's hand and the conversations outside of the propaganda are saying the same. It's not what we think.

Sometimes I have to think about things I would prefer not to think about and there's moments when I wish it was a bad dream and the world wasn't this far gone.

~bella

 

[timewerx]

I agree. It will appear helpful but I don't think it's going to be in the long run. I've had a bad feeling about it from the moment I read the article in Fortune magazine years ago. Long before people were discussing it. I sensed the devil's hand and the conversations outside of the propaganda are saying the same. It's not what we think.

Sometimes I have to think about things I would prefer not to think about and there's moments when I wish it was a bad dream and the world wasn't this far gone.

~bella

I'm worried the price inflation it may cause could have catastrophic consequences to poor countries that don't have UBI and could destabilize the whole world.

In order to negate these problems there must be some price regulations in places or even spending limits.

Limiting spending I think is a viable solution because it can be done without any regulations in place and it will address both the problem of price inflation and greenhouse emissions. It can be implemented by transforming the American culture from one that is spending-crazy to practical spending habits through education and mass/entertainment/social media influence. Demonetize social media platforms and ban personal advertisement of products by its users (the platform is still allowed to host automated ads but not the users).

Monetizing social media has been a terrible idea. Influencers only care about getting rich and only influence people to spend more which is no longer a great idea in this day and age. If anything, we should be spending less on everything.

 

[sampa]

big question I have if I want to gain more confidence with women, is going to counseling/therapy extreme or overkill? Should I also consider a dating coach in addition or in place of therapy? Thank you

Not overkill and no shame in it. I did it a couple years ago just to keep my sanity through online dating and see if there's anything I need to work on. One of my cousins went to counseling after his divorce a couple years after. She nudged him to start asking people out, I think it was online and not long after he's been with his girlfriend for the last 5 years. He's not a Christian, but he became like a stepfather to the nephew she was raising (his mom passed). She's been a good match.

A dating coach can also help. Match used to have a free trial after signing up and I found it worthwhile. There are options to explore. But most of all prayer and have you team if accountability. Strong Christian men that you develop relationships with that can share their experiences .

 

[christiansoccerplayer]

My head is going to explode from all of the dating stories of straight into dating (no friends first) and being friends first then asking out re, and which one is the best approach. Debra Filleta reccomends starting as friends first. I've definitely became close or casual friends with a woman and then asked them out. My next-to-recent time, I met the girl, talked her to her once or twice, and then asked her out; my most recent time, i think I talked in person or emailed (our job paths crossed) maybe 6 or 7 times before making my move. We were friendly towards each other; but maybe not really 'friends' or just new friends because when she replied to my message asking her out, she said my approach was "completely unexpected" so I suppose i lean toward the "friends first" approach.

 

[bèlla]

Limiting spending I think is a viable solution because it can be done without any regulations in place and it will address both the problem of price inflation and greenhouse emissions. It can be implemented by transforming the American culture from one that is spending-crazy to practical spending habits through education and mass/entertainment/social media influence. Demonetize social media platforms and ban personal advertisement of products by its users (the platform is still allowed to host automated ads but not the users).

Social credit is going to change a lot. It's suggested ubi will be programmable with an expiration date. You'd have 3-6 months to spend it or it's gone. If it's digital you can include restrictions easily. That's how they'll limit the foods you can buy and their frequency. Zuck is raising his own cattle for a reason. It will be a hot commodity and hard to get.

Monetization is for corporations. Influencers are cheaper than physical ads and their reach is greater. The metaverse is driving you towards virtual experiences and you'll live vicariously through others. Anything that supports the system will be rewarded.

It's akin to citizens in the capital versus the other districts in Hunger Games. It's a small population. The film is a modern take on a class-based society. It's the same with crypto. Most people don't have that much. They have a few hundred shares and they'll sell them. That's what they want you to do and they'll have people promoting it. But the real money is elsewhere but they don't it discuss openly.

I'd liken it to robber barons 2.0. It's going to be so ridiculously imbalanced it's unimaginable. I see hints of what's to come through fashion. The prices are getting crazy. When you make a million dollar purse what type of wealth are we talking?

That's why I encourage people to start a side hustle now so they'll have an alternative income source. Stores are closing left and right and moving their businesses online. It's not business as usual anymore.

Monetizing social media has been a terrible idea. Influencers only care about getting rich and only influence people to spend more which is no longer a great idea in this day and age. If anything, we should be spending less on everything.

They're part of the system. That's the capital. They're not going anywhere but I think it will change. I wouldn't be surprised if they tied it to social credit or something along those lines. You couldn't be an influencer or content creator if you wanted to. You'd have to be approved to be monetized. People are getting demonetized now for discussions that oppose the system. Celebrities are striking content and getting it taken down and grabbing the revenue. They should make the money while they can.

I expect a reciprocal impact on dating that's positive. As things tighten pairing up is a must. You do what you need to survive. A lot of the things that are no's right now won't matter then.

~bella

 

[timewerx]

It's the same with crypto. Most people don't have that much. They have a few hundred shares and they'll sell them. That's what they want you to do and they'll have people promoting it. But the real money is elsewhere but they don't it discuss openly.

Billionaires can make easy money with crypto, especially with low cap, low supply coins. The moment they buy shares with millions of dollars, the price jumps and they can quickly sell at a higher price which then causes the price to drop down again (where they can buy cheaper) and the cycle repeats.

Although in reality, they don't make it look too obvious like not immediately selling or buying in discreet amounts.

Influencers with large following (including billionaires who are famous and active on social media) can also have huge influence on stock or crypto price movements by announcing their investment activities.

If there are other very easy ways of making money from stocks and crypto with large returns with very little to no work. It's going to be top secret. Them not wanting everyone to become rich is just one reason (large income gap and social inequality is what really makes it possible to get obscenely rich). The rich profits from the losers. That's just reality. Another reason is that if everyone can easily figure out how to make million dollars in just one year, it's going to destabilize the whole world. Our planet simply can't handle 8 billion rich people.

The only way poverty can be realistically solved without dystopian depopulation solutions is send people off-world to live elsewhere than Earth.

The world's problems are just going to get worse unless we figure out a solution to depopulate the planet. A solution where everyone will be happy and agree on.

 

[bèlla]

Billionaires can make easy money with crypto, especially with low cap, low supply coins. The moment they buy shares with millions of dollars, the price jumps and they can quickly sell at a higher price which then causes the price to drop down again (where they can buy cheaper) and the cycle repeats.

All financial markets are rigged. It has nothing to do with billionaire this or that. They can move it up and down or create events to do the same. The best investments aren't widely discussed or easily accessible. You need to be an accredited investor or know someone who'll let you in. The best returns are made from tangible assets. Things with real world value like gold and art.

If there are other very easy ways of making money from stocks and crypto with large returns with very little to no work. It's going to be top secret. Them not wanting everyone to become rich is just one reason (large income gap and social inequality is what really makes it possible to get obscenely rich).

Most people don't want to be rich. They want the comforts of wealth without the work and sacrifice. If they really wanted it they'd knock until the answers came as others have done who increased their income legitimately. They don't want to build something which is the best way to attain it. They want to get it from a salary with benefits and spoils. But the absence of risk is why the pay is lower. And the government rewards the owner significantly more than employees. That's why small businesses suffer. They never leveraged the business into something greater. That's where money is made.

It's the difference between a business who hires influencers versus the influencers who work for them. The business gets two entries on the balance sheet. Profits from the campaign with the people they hired and expenses on the other side. The influencer earns profits but they'll never have the same deductions or tax benefits. That's reserved for entities.

Another reason is that if everyone can easily figure out how to make million dollars in just one year, it's going to destabilize the whole world. Our planet simply can't handle 8 billion rich people.

That will never happen. If you understand the idea that time is money you'd see the correlation of buying up your time with the goal of amplifying your earnings. Employees look at the yearly number. But that isn't how you quantify ROI. You'd look at the week then the day then the minutes.

If you wanted to make a $100 an hour you're less likely to spend your free time gaming or chatting. Even if you're making money while doing so through other mediums. When you're in that mode you know the value of stacking. You'd leverage that time with a person or activity that could enhance your number. Then you're making money while having fun.

I don't want to derail the OP. It's an omega year (look at the dollar and you'll see the symbol). X is the correlation. Research where it leads. @timothyu and @guyver you may want to do the same since you're here.

~bella