Current sexual promiscuity would be an issue. I would argue that past sexual promiscuity, now repented of, in and of itself is neutral. There may be negative consequences for the person concerned. There may also be grace in which God has worked through that history for good. You'd have to actually get to know the person.
No.
It can be, sure. What I'm looking at is the motivation for that rejection. If it's basically a devaluing of the person, I'd say, from a Christian point of view, that's a problem.
Interestingly, the research I've been able to find says that men who have been promiscuous before marriage are more likely to cheat than men who have not; but women who have been promiscuous before marriage are less likely to cheat than women who have not. Perhaps that speaks to different motivations in men and women (in general) for both promiscuity and adultery.
Why abstain from any sin? Or to put that another way, if the only reason for not sinning is that your community will punish you for sinning, isn't that a problem in and of itself?
NB: Not what I actually said.
Also, I didn't say "promiscuity is fine."
Not necessarily, but it might be wise to ask yourself why it isn't beside the point. Some on this thread seem to feel the need to punish people for their past, but that's not our calling as Christians.
Yes.
Firstly... their behaviour in the past might not have been about a lack of self discipline. (Indeed, surviving sex work might take a very great deal of self discipline, for what it's worth). Secondly, the question is not whether someone lacked self-discipline in the past, it's whether they have self-discipline now. I wonder how much self-discipline it takes, to successfully exit that lifestyle?
Beside the point when considering someone's potential to be a good life partner in the future.
Hmm. So her willingness to commit to a Christian marriage is, in your view, feigned? Or perhaps you think she is deluding herself about her own ability to live up to that commitment?
I'm not arguing that it's a "wrong" to turn her down at all. I'm interrogating the attitudes people hold which might lead to them making that decision.
That's an unfounded assumption; and from what I know of women who engage in sex work, often quite an incorrect one.
There may be any number of character flaws involved in taking up sex work. But having the tenacity to continue to turn up and work hard in a role where you are consistently degraded and exploited, in order to survive and make your way in life, whatever else might be said of it, does take a degree of self-discipline. You want someone who knows how to persevere when the going gets tough? You might well do worse than someone who's learned that in incredibly adverse circumstances.
And you're putting that forward as an argument as to why someone who repents and turns to God is not acceptable?
Which would be why none of this conversation has been about people who have not repented or changed their ways. But about people who have indeed done the hard work of making themselves ready.
It's probably getting a bit off-topic. If you're really interested maybe start another thread, and I'll try to look in on it tomorrow (it's getting very late here and I need to go and crash!)Care to explain it? Sounds to me like she should do all the work while I sit at the gates with the men and consider God and what His will is for our community
I'm just pointing out that there's a lot of unhelpful teaching about it out there, so someone's reaction might not be for bad reasons.
But nobody's suggesting taking on a woman sight unseen. Good grief! Get to know her. See her character. See how she is in relationships with others. See how she lives her life. And - whatever her sexual past might have been - you'll be able to judge if this person looks like a good potential life partner.
Who has suggested that anyone might be offended? We are discussing hypotheticals. You seem to be taking this thread as personal criticism, but it isn't.
I don't think it's unhelpful; it's definitely a tonne better than having a list of things that, once done, automatically disqualify someone. In general, if we're talking about romantic relationships, I'd be looking also at potential to be a good team together.
Many women are prevented from furthering their education, careers, and so on. They're kept dependent on men. They are more likely to marry for security. Someone who is confident she can support her household, or support herself if the marriage ends, is less likely to see security as the overriding concern.
Not once have I suggested that a hypothetical rejected former sex worker would be offended by the rejection, or that that is a reason to not reject her.
Some of your posts in this thread are pretty hostile, yes. That's not hypothetical, that's actual comments made by you.
I wonder if you'd be upset by someone putting up lots of posts claiming things such as that all men lie, are manipulative, and so on? Would you consider that polite? I'd suggest it's at least skirting close to CF's rules on not flaming people as a group.
I think I mentioned to you on another thread......I'd pray to God and see if she was for me. Even if she didn't have this colorful past and always was a good moral person....I still wouldn't marry her.....What God are YOU saying to me?
I'm going to put this in spoiler tags so people who would be uncomfortable with reading my reasons don't have to.
