Would you marry a woman who was a former stripper or X-rated star if she turned into a Christian ?

[Divide]

Proverbs 31 woman - her husband is a respected elder at the gate. hahaha

thats me out !!!!

I'm just a regular bloke - not a respected man in the city haha

So the woman in proverbs 31 wouldn't have me ;-)

I do believe that there are some real Proverbs 31 Wives in todays world. I think I have a met a few of them. Every one was married already, lol. I was lucky that the trade I chose (all things heating & air & plumbing) was a service trade and I got into thousands and thousands of different houses and met many different people, and got to see them at home. You can the type people as soon as you walk in. Everythig s orderly and dust free and the people speak on a level above the sub culture. Some of those wives I met and some carry themselves like Proverbs 31. You can fell it in the air and see it.

 

[oikonomia]

If an attractive women that was a former sex-worker becomes a Christian woman would you date her and consider marriage with her ?

Have you ever read the story of the prostitute Rehab from the cursed city of Jericho?
Boaz married her. Am I right? And she is mentioned as a great-great - etc. grandmother of Jesus Christ.

 

[IcyChain]

If an attractive women that was a former sex-worker becomes a Christian woman would you date her and consider marriage with her ?

I would not rule it out entirely. Nobody is perfect and I think that everyone should be considered as a whole, rather than people being "disqualified" for this or that reason. That being said, I would have some serious concerns about the obvious things like emotional impact and diseases. I have never met a "reformed stripper" but I have met a few women who work in those industries, and most seemed to have severe mental harm. I would probably need a lot to be convinced that the person has truly recovered from that so that it would not cause a future problem for myself or more importantly my children. There's also the issue of the internet. It isn't an ideal situation if there are videos floating around the world of my wife and the mother of my children engaging in lewd acts. All other things equal you would choose a person who doesn't have that history. Also, I would be concerned about third parties from her former life. I don't exactly feel the need to have former pimp, john, fan or what have you, appearing out of the woodwork. So yeah, there are a ton of concerns there, but fundamentally I would not say "you did XYZ in the past therefore you are disqualified" to anyone. At a basic level I would say that a person with that sort of history who has reformed herself is deserving of love like anyone else.

 

[Divide]

Maybe you should have married one by now.

I did. I married that young girl and shw was an awesome Wife and an excellant Mother. She had it all and she made me look good. It lasted for 26 years. It took her awhile to become Americanized and materialistic. But when I met her she had such a humble spirit. She came having nothing on a farm to the land of plenty in America. What Americans call Survival Mode, is what they call day to day life over there. She can do everything the poor man way. It impressed me and I knew I'd marry her. She only knew about 6 words of English when I met her. It didn't even slow me down. I just taught her english by being around her all the time. She gave me two fine sons and their grown now and on their own.

I felt bad sometimes toward her and wanted to give her more. But I spoiled her rotton over time and then when the economy took a dive suddenly she wanted to marry a millionaire, lol. I gave her too much money, then when the economy did the slow slide and she just turned 40 and saw 50 coming quickly and knew her viability for landing a millionaire was fading fast so she jumped ship.

She didn't get to marry a millionaire either, lol.. Oh she is married again but her plan didn't turn out the way it was supposed to, lol. That's all I'll say about that.

None of that detracts from her being the woman that she is though. She was a good wife nd mother for our entire mrriage, I cant take that from her and wouldnt want to.

 

[IcyChain]

Jesus's teachings are not about personal preferences. A former thief born in Christ is no longer a thief. A former stripper is no longer a stripper if she gave her life to Jesus. I'd like to believe the same situation applies to a former pedophile. You and I, and everyone else, are "former somethings" before we met Jesus. Paul was a murderer, persecuted and killed christians until Jesus called him and gave him a new life, and many people still continued to judge him. Have we not learned anything from this?

Interesting take. If a person intentionally murders someone with malice, he should expect to spend the rest of his life in prison. He can be forgiven, but that does not mean that he does not have to face the real-world consequences of his past actions. With the case of a pedophile, I think it's similar. I can forgive him, but the consequence of his action is that he is deemed unsafe to be around my children. I would think that we can probably find some examples of similar things in the Bible where God forgives people, but as a result of their sins the way they have to live their lives in the future is altered. I don't think it would be unfair to apply the same principle to a former sex-worker. A consequence of being involved in that former activity is that people are going to be a bit more skeptical about your suitability as a wife in the future. I don't think that is unreasonable. . .

 

[GDL]

I did.

No disrespect, but it sounded like you had a background that colored your point of view. Most of us do. The healing is in Christ. It can take some time.

 

[Confused-by-christianity]

I do believe that there are some real Proverbs 31 Wives in todays world. I think I have a met a few of them. Every one was married already, lol. I was lucky that the trade I chose (all things heating & air & plumbing) was a service trade and I got into thousands and thousands of different houses and met many different people, and got to see them at home. You can the type people as soon as you walk in. Everythig s orderly and dust free and the people speak on a level above the sub culture. Some of those wives I met and some carry themselves like Proverbs 31. You can fell it in the air and see it.

yeah haha

but am i the proverbs 31 man??? an elder in the city??? like a billionaire on a council or something ???

thats my joke haha

 

[QuestionQuest74]

I did. I married that young girl and shw was an awesome Wife and an excellant Mother. She had it all and she made me look good. It lasted for 26 years. It took her awhile to become Americanized and materialistic. But when I met her she had such a humble spirit. She came having nothing on a farm to the land of plenty in America. What Americans call Survival Mode, is what they call day to day life over there. She can do everything the poor man way. It impressed me and I knew I'd marry her. She only knew about 6 words of English when I met her. It didn't even slow me down. I just taught her english by being around her all the time. She gave me two fine sons and their grown now and on their own.

I felt bad sometimes toward her and wanted to give her more. But I spoiled her rotton over time and then when the economy took a dive suddenly she wanted to marry a millionaire, lol. I gave her too much money, then when the economy did the slow slide and she just turned 40 and saw 50 coming quickly and knew her viability for landing a millionaire was fading fast so she jumped ship.

She didn't get to marry a millionaire either, lol.. Oh she is married again but her plan didn't turn out the way it was supposed to, lol. That's all I'll say about that.

None of that detracts from her being the woman that she is though. She was a good wife nd mother for our entire mrriage, I cant take that from her and wouldnt want to.

But look how she ended with you that isn’t Christ like ?

 

[RDKirk]

I did. I married that young girl and shw was an awesome Wife and an excellant Mother. She had it all and she made me look good. It lasted for 26 years. It took her awhile to become Americanized and materialistic. But when I met her she had such a humble spirit. She came having nothing on a farm to the land of plenty in America. What Americans call Survival Mode, is what they call day to day life over there. She can do everything the poor man way. It impressed me and I knew I'd marry her. She only knew about 6 words of English when I met her. It didn't even slow me down. I just taught her english by being around her all the time. She gave me two fine sons and their grown now and on their own.

I felt bad sometimes toward her and wanted to give her more. But I spoiled her rotton over time and then when the economy took a dive suddenly she wanted to marry a millionaire, lol. I gave her too much money, then when the economy did the slow slide and she just turned 40 and saw 50 coming quickly and knew her viability for landing a millionaire was fading fast so she jumped ship.

She didn't get to marry a millionaire either, lol.. Oh she is married again but her plan didn't turn out the way it was supposed to, lol. That's all I'll say about that.

None of that detracts from her being the woman that she is though. She was a good wife nd mother for our entire mrriage, I cant take that from her and wouldnt want to.

Well, my first wife decided she wanted to be free again and left me with a 9-month-old baby. I was a single parent for over four years until I met my current wife. This Friday will be our 40th anniversary.

 

[Ignatius the Kiwi]

Interesting take. If a person intentionally murders someone with malice, he should expect to spend the rest of his life in prison. He can be forgiven, but that does not mean that he does not have to face the real-world consequences of his past actions. With the case of a pedophile, I think it's similar. I can forgive him, but the consequence of his action is that he is deemed unsafe to be around my children. I would think that we can probably find some examples of similar things in the Bible where God forgives people, but as a result of their sins the way they have to live their lives in the future is altered. I don't think it would be unfair to apply the same principle to a former sex-worker. A consequence of being involved in that former activity is that people are going to be a bit more skeptical about your suitability as a wife in the future. I don't think that is unreasonable. . .

It would seem like promiscuity is the only sin which one cannot be judged for or carry any long term consequences for.

 

[IcyChain]

It would seem like promiscuity is the only sin which one cannot be judged for or carry any long term consequences for.

Well perhaps it is because most people nowadays have fornicated. The natural tendency is to be harder on the sins that people other than oneself have committed . . .

 

[Ignatius the Kiwi]

Well perhaps it is because most people nowadays have fornicated. The natural tendency is to be harder on the sins that people other than oneself have committed . . .

It makes one wonder, if that is the new Christian standard, that expecting or desiring non promiscuity or even virginity straight out, is the real problem, what are Christians going to gravitate to in terms of practice? When all the reassurance, grace and acceptance rests on those who have engaged in the sin, the motivation for maintaining the Christian standard lessens.

 

[QuestionQuest74]

It makes one wonder, if that is the new Christian standard, that expecting or desiring non promiscuity or even virginity straight out, is the real problem, what are Christians going to gravitate to in terms of practice? When all the reassurance, grace and acceptance rests on those who have engaged in the sin, the motivation for maintaining the Christian standard lessens

Your speaking facts but are Christian women merciful when picking men ?

 

[Ignatius the Kiwi]

Your speaking facts but are Christian women merciful when picking men ?

Well, no. They have standards and we kind of have to accept them. Men seemingly cannot have this standard.

 

[Paidiske]

@Paidiske
@Divide

Do you guys find this helpful ????

cut/pasted from above...

I guess - as a model (an imperfect framework to help view something) i could seperate people out by 3 things???
In my imperfect model - there are three aspects of a person??

1) Physical universe - Brain stuff, physical stuff, scientific method, ... ... ... who the person is physically (genetics, predispositions like alcohol etc etc)
2) Spiritual universe - things like beauty, truth, goodness, god, love, hope. spirit universe is bigger than the physical. This is who the person is in their heart. Do they value god, kindness, love, compassion, goodness, beauty, hope ... ... .... I dont expect they will be able to act this out in the physical universe all the time ... ... ... but to respect and value that stuff is really important to me.
3) Potential self - who the person is capable of becoming. they exist "in potential". It's important to me to see "who they want to be".

for me, number 1 is subordinate to 2 & 3.

2 & 3 are really important.

I don't think it's unhelpful; it's definitely a tonne better than having a list of things that, once done, automatically disqualify someone. In general, if we're talking about romantic relationships, I'd be looking also at potential to be a good team together.

I had a woman tell me once that, women dont marry for love. They marry for security.
Is that true or false?

Many women are prevented from furthering their education, careers, and so on. They're kept dependent on men. They are more likely to marry for security. Someone who is confident she can support her household, or support herself if the marriage ends, is less likely to see security as the overriding concern.

I believe you did.

Not once have I suggested that a hypothetical rejected former sex worker would be offended by the rejection, or that that is a reason to not reject her.

You said I'm hostile. How can that be if the girl we speak of is hypothetical?

Some of your posts in this thread are pretty hostile, yes. That's not hypothetical, that's actual comments made by you.

So no one should be upset. Some girls might not like how I talk. But that doesntmatter as long we stay polite, right?

I wonder if you'd be upset by someone putting up lots of posts claiming things such as that all men lie, are manipulative, and so on? Would you consider that polite? I'd suggest it's at least skirting close to CF's rules on not flaming people as a group.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

If an attractive women that was a former sex-worker becomes a Christian woman would you date her and consider marriage with her ?

If her repentance and conversion to Christ is genuine, and she is showing the fruit of repentance, then the old things have passed away and everything has become new with her. This shows that Jesus is a complete Saviour and that when He died on the Cross, He took all the shame, guilt and penalty for her sins upon Himself. Therefore if she was available and prepared to date me, I would have no problem with it. To shun her because of her past would mean that I am trusting in a Jesus who is not in the Bible and who is not a complete Saviour who can transform someone into a completely new creature in Him.

P.S. The only problem she would have with me is that she might not be keen on dating much older men who have one foot in the grave, like me!

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Me? No I would not. Forgiveness is great and all but she still wouldn't be the right kind of person for me.

Did you know that God instructed Hosea to marry a prostitute? I wonder if he thought that she would not be the right kind of person for him, but seeing that God instructed him, that settled it. He had to put his preferences aside in favour of being obedient to God.

Hosea's experience was a one-off for a definite prophetic purpose. I don't believe that God picks out the "right" person for anyone. There are general guidelines in the Bible about who we should be equally yoked with someone, and because we have a brain and associated discernment about the type of character a prospective partner might have, we don't need some kind of voice telling us "this is the one", or getting a Scripture, like the guy who was in love with a girl named Grace. He got the Scripture, "Grace and peace to you in our Lord Jesus Christ" and that was his guidance. Problem was that Grace didn't get the same message!

 

[IcyChain]

If her repentance and conversion to Christ is genuine, and she is showing the fruit of repentance, then the old things have passed away and everything has become new with her. This shows that Jesus is a complete Saviour and that when He died on the Cross, He took all the shame, guilt and penalty for her sins upon Himself. Therefore if she was available and prepared to date me, I would have no problem with it. To shun her because of her past would mean that I am trusting in a Jesus who is not in the Bible and who is not a complete Saviour who can transform someone into a completely new creature in Him.

P.S. The only problem she would have with me is that she might not be keen on dating much older men who have one foot in the grave, like me!

Well, how about an STD test at least? Is she saved from that too?

I am not sure about being saved from all penalty for sins. It's not like God declares that the pedophile gets set free from prison after he says the sinner's prayer. You see the same thing in the Bible when God forgave David. He forgave David for his transgression, but then penalized David after forgiving him, by taking his child away. And I think you can find various things in the NT about God disciplining the ones that he loves. . .

We are saved from the fires from hell, but not all of the worldly consequences and punishments for our sins, so it seems to me at least.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I'm going to put this in spoiler tags so people who would be uncomfortable with reading my reasons don't have to.

Spoiler: why

Being forgiven by God does not scrub your Internet presence, reverse the two becoming one flesh, cure STDs or addictions, heal trauma, make dysfunctional relatives functional, erase your sexual memories, or erase other people's sexual memories of you. If I get married, I'd want to be able to take her to work parties and no one has ever been with her, or seen her indecently (and so many of my coworkers have looked at inappropriate content). Furthermore, being as I have saved myself for marriage and I continue to do so, I want that in return. My folks waited, they're still together, and they told me that helped. I know who I take after, and I believe that would also be helpful to me. I know there are other couples who go through retroactive jealousy, sometimes it (weirdly) kicks in years into the relationship, and I don't want to experience that with someone I am married to.

When picking a spouse, we need to be realistic about what "warts and all" means because that is what we are getting when we get married. Realistically, I see the above "warts" as deal breakers for me, therefore I couldn't seriously consider a woman who has those as the right wife for me.

If she is a new creation in Christ, wouldn't the "warts" be part of her that has passed away? One advantage would be that she would have no problem knowing how to go about things on the wedding night.

 

[timothyu]

One advantage would be that she would have no problem knowing how to go about things on the wedding night.

Might burn a little oil but as long as she's been safetied.