What's on your mind?

[Sophrosyne]

What about this?

“I've found that keeping my mind occupied/distracted it doesn't have free time to delve into wrong thinking”

Can you teach others how to do the same? Give pointers and discuss how you’ve overcome your challenges? Mental health is a rich topic. Narrowing to Christians is even better.

I can give some pointers not sure about teaching. I have many things that interest me from reading and watching vids online either entertainment based or instructional and have a movie collection also. I've found I have at times a very active and restless mind and I often ping-pong between a half a dozen things during the day from reading and posting in 2 forums, to watching some youtube videos of music reactions of songs I grew up with and power tool and home improvement tips to animal interest vids and I have one video on pause about a solar panel world record? not sure if it is just clickbait or not. I also have a small garden I tend to. Gardening is something that can get you away from tech and computers and such outdoors and it relaxes you and you focus on something other than you... yourself. I sometimes figure out something I need from a store nearby giving me an excuse to walk there and buy a $2 or so item. I find constantly bopping back and forth from one thing to another changes my focus which doesn't allow me to get "set" in a way of feeling/thinking that can fertilize negative thinking.

To put it plainly when I'm feeling anxious, I do something else other than what I'm doing at that time because apparently what I'm doing either is feeding or not helping me and sometimes something else does. What was that saying.... an idle mind is the devil's workshop? I probably got that wrong. Sometimes I fire up music and do some house cleaning. I find that the more things that you do that differ from each other requires a lot more concentration and while I'm gardening I'm not thinking of problems I have as much as what I'm going to pong to next. It is having too much free time that can destroy you when you are bothered. If I had friends locally that enjoyed my company more I would likely hang out with them some.

I think that constantly improving even the littlest things in your life somehow can actually make you feel better about yourself and your life as often people who are down feel they are like a stagnant pond of water rather than a bubbling creek and the way out of that feeling at times it to let in new water, let out the old, and stir things up. I have several things I would like to do but sadly they all require money to even consider starting and require it on a regular basis like something as silly as dance lessons..... I have 3 left feet, 2 that are left and a right foot that is.... left-over. I also have considered martial arts for self defense and also I think could help with strength training somewhat as I hate boring weight lifting. I've been "encouraged" to get into it but I know myself and I would struggle to last 6 months doing it and likely I would overdo things and have to use the same muscles working and be sore/hurt for a long time like once before.

One thing I also try and do is to go through excess stuff and get rid of some things. I have other projects in mind. If I were more of a people person connected with many folks I would consider getting involved in a charity type organization but again.. my finances are miserable at the moment and my vehicle needs a lot of work that I currently cannot afford.

I also listen/watch a bible study program on tv but haven't been doing that lately and now I find all the programs are on youtube I stopped recording it on my dvr. I think Christians should go through the Bible for the most part, learn about the basics and if they are into conversing/debating and perhaps have a personality that is useful to win others to Christ then delve into apologetics. I've found that many of my problems have been helped by my knowledge of God's word, some have been for the most part solved. One could say that life it like working on an old car, if you have no tools or knowledge then you are at the whim of others to keep it going depending on them for everything and when times are rough you could be stranded on the side of the road for something as simple as not being able to change a flat tire.

Active minds need to be entertained, but choose wisely your entertainment as some can encourage negative behavior and emotions, other entertainment can just be time consuming and delay the onset of bad thinking.
I've found when it comes to solving problems (for me) sometimes I need to totally ignore the currently unsolvable ones for awhile and come back to them in a different state of mind. If one knows about old vinyl records when they get damaged sometimes they get stuck on one track playing the same track over and over and even if you turn the volume down it doesn't stop and if you turn it off either it just stops spinning with the needle on that track or resets the arm and replaying it stops again at that track where it gets stuck. To get past that track you have to bump or nudge the arm on the record player and until you realize what can "bump" you past that stuckage playing that song over and over won't yield any different result.
There are many that are "stuck" in life and sometimes finding small ways to get unstuck in small things can lead to a little more water flowing into your stagnant pond. Pull a stick or rock here and there and in time perhaps you will have a breakthrough and your pond will become a quiet section of a stream with clear crisp sparkling clean cool water.

Maybe someone will be encouraged to explore things. The trick for me is to NOT stick with one thing all the time. If you aren't losing concentration on the wrong things ping-pong to as many activities around you till you either get exhausted or caught up. Those running a long race can pace themselves and then start thinking of other things while those sprinting an obstacle course have little time for their mind to wander and get stuck in a stagnant cesspool/pond.

 

[bèlla]

Latest intel…

An article on the WEF’s website explains:

“I don’t own anything. I don’t own a car. I don’t own a house. I don’t own any appliances or any clothes,” writes Danish MP Ida Auken. Shopping is a distant memory in the city of 2030, whose inhabitants have cracked clean energy and borrow what they need on demand.

It sounds utopian until she mentions that her every move is tracked and outside the city live swathes of discontents, the ultimate vision of a society split in two.

In this dystopian future, there are no products you can own. Only “services” that are rented and delivered using drones. This system would make all humans completely dependent on WEF-controlled corporations for every single basic need. There would be absolutely no autonomy, no freedom, and no privacy. And you’ll be happy.

At the 2022 Davos meeting, Nokia CEO Pekka Lundmark claimed that, by 2030, “smartphones will be implanted directly into the body.” This would coincide with the coming of 6G technology, which is expected to be launched by the end of the decade.

Alibaba Group president J. Michael Evans boasts at the World Economic Forum about the development of an "individual carbon footprint tracker" to monitor what you buy, what you eat, and where/how you travel.

And if that’s not enough. Hold your horses. Time to break out the sewing machine! If you don’t know how you’d better learn or find someone who does. Guess what’s coming?

Using the environment as an excuse, the WEF announced the coming of clothing laced with “digital passports” that can be traced at all times. Backed by Microsoft these garments will apparently flood the market by 2025.

Welcome to the new world!

 

[sampa]

The vast majority of U.S. adults believe in God, but the 81% who do so is down six percentage points from 2017 and is the lowest in Gallup's trend. Between 1944 and 2011, more than 90% of Americans believed in God.

Unfortunately I can believe this from my experience on one dating app. 70-80% do not put anything for religion or they put atheist, agnostic or Buddhist. There are some jewish, but that at least is some kind of belief in God of the old testament. It may be specific to that app though.

I've also noticed more mean comments from that and another site about my faith in Jesus. There's still hope though, one site I get about a 20-40% response rate on faith in a positive way, even if it's not mentioned on their profile.

These numbers (my guess) are only representative of the single population, but I think the single population has been growing, unfortunately. And for the past 5 years it's been making up a larger percentage of the nation. Dating app use statistics have jumped since the pandemic, and from what I have read it is becoming the most common way to meet and marry. Not just reading it, this is my observation from talking to many people.

Smaller towns, like where I live, faith is probably 85%. The larger cities, my guess from experience and reading articles, has less faith. Or watered down, possibly due to consumerism and distractions? These are all my guesses and my thoughts based on what I have seen and sometimes read.

 

[Sophrosyne]

Yes, indeed. I pray we can both be a good friend when the time comes that that someone is in need - listening, maybe a kind word or know how to pray with God's wisdom.

I think wisdom is sometimes needed as some need a kind word and understanding and others need to be shook up out of their slump. From what I've seen those who complain about being depressed and so on are the least likely to commit suicide it is those who are more quiet that it bottles up inside with nowhere to go till it reaches a point that it takes over the person and is all they know/think.

 

[Sophrosyne]

Unfortunately I can believe this from my experience on one dating app. 70-80% do not put anything for religion or they put atheist, agnostic or Buddhist. There are some jewish, but that at least is some kind of belief in God of the old testament. It may be specific to that app though.

Being labeled a Christian has become more and more of a negative thing these days as we see a push to
promote wickedness and attack those who attempt to stand up to it. I figure there will be more increased persecution of Christians in the future in this nation. In time some will be put on the spot to deny Christ or suffer
social and financial ruin.

I've also noticed more mean comments from that and another site about my faith in Jesus. There's still hope though, one site I get about a 20-40% response rate on faith in a positive way, even if it's not mentioned on their profile.

Social justice, virtue signaling, cancel culture, cannot be empowered when the majority are believers in Christ. The 20-40% sounds accurate as to how many people stand up to evil these days.... however likely a few interested in you may pretend to be positive for selfish reasons.

These numbers (my guess) are only representative of the single population, but I think the single population has been growing, unfortunately. And for the past 5 years it's been making up a larger percentage of the nation. Dating app use statistics have jumped since the pandemic, and from what I have read it is becoming the most common way to meet and marry. Not just reading it, this is my observation from talking to many people.

From what I've gleaned the single population is skyrocketing due to covid shutting down normal dating pushing many to hostile dating sites where the top 10-20% are getting attention from everyone and the bottom 70-80# are ignored entirely. Women in college are finding fewer and fewer men going to college because of feminism the quality of women there not hostile to men has greatly diminished and the women that do go through get higher paying jobs and want to find men that make even more than they do and when they can't find anyone and are in their 30s the men don't want them they go for the women in early 20s instead. We have the top men in their 40s and 50s taking women in their 20s and mostly ignoring the women in their 30s and the men in their 20s and 30s that are average have a lot less women to choose from that are willing to go for an average guy. On top of it all women and men are sleeping around for a long time with no commitment to marry.
All in all a lot of men/women that are average or men too poor and young and women too rich and old to find a mate.

Smaller towns, like where I live, faith is probably 85%. The larger cities, my guess from experience and reading articles, has less faith. Or watered down, possibly due to consumerism and distractions? These are all my guesses and my thoughts based on what I have seen and sometimes read.

The media choices dilute faith often as people are more inundated with garbage in the media instead of more godly virtuous content.

 

[sampa]

and the men in their 20s and 30s that are average have a lot less women to choose from that are willing to go for an average

This may explain why I'm getting approached by quite a few guys in their 30s online. And in person it seems to get younger and younger, not approached but I can see they have a bit of interest and if I was their age I would interpret them as that lower tier you were talking about. One of them that I was conversing with, he just finished his bachelors and is working on his Masters. He said he most likely will move to a bigger city for some kind of social life. He didn't tell me for dating, but I have a feeling it's because he has fewer choices in small towns. Very nice young man... But looking back when I was his age, he wouldn't be somebody I would have been interested in. I'm just being honest.

the top 10-20% are getting attention from everyone and the bottom 70-80# are ignored entirely. Women in college are finding

As discussed above, you may be right. I only think this because of friends that I have seen that have tried online dating and they have no luck. If they could be in social group settings, I think they might have more of a chance. But when you have responsibilities and house or land to take care of, it makes it difficult to get in those larger social circles that you often find in town. One of them that has complained is in a larger City, but prefers to play video games and very introverted. He says he doesn't like being around people. And he's had quite a few health issues and financial issues... We met in singles ministry when it used to exist at a church near him.

 

[bèlla]

I've also noticed more mean comments from that and another site about my faith in Jesus. There's still hope though, one site I get about a 20-40% response rate on faith in a positive way, even if it's not mentioned on their profile.

That wasn’t my experience in the past. But when I returned to my old haunt for a bit the ignorance decibel was otherworldly. I heard words I had to Google or can’t repeat in this setting. And learned terms that left me dumbfounded. Some I assumed were made up really existed.

Make no mistake I laughed. They creatively insulted one another and exhausted pages doing so. And they allowed the train wreck to happen. The rules were minimal and its a good example of what occurs when the filter is gone.

There is no way I’d find a man in that setting. And I wouldn’t want them writing me either. I got the reset I needed. But good grief. What a mess! If that’s what its like today count me out.

I suspect that was the final nail for the Internet and contributed to my thoughts on the medium. It’s changed a lot. People were more polite and courteous in the past. Now its a slugfest and that’s not conducive for edifying conversations or connections.

If I was looking now I’d double down on r/t interactions. Especially if moving is out. I have a church in my area full of young men and women. Mostly in their 20s and 30s. A few older ones too.

It takes a long time to bring things to fruition on here unless they’re ready. Otherwise you’ll spend months on situations that never lead anywhere. You’d cut it in half in person. You don’t have the back and forth.

A lot of the people on those sites aren’t ready to pull the trigger. They’re fishing and seeing what’s available and trying to get the best they can in spite of the profile. They’ll make a move if she falls in his lap. The rhetoric goes out the door.

If you live in the city you can meet someone. I have every denomination around me. I didn’t feel like looking. The Internet makes it easier in some ways and harder in others. It’s best not to put all your eggs in one basket. Especially now.

 

[Vinter]

.

 

[bèlla]

Thank you for this. I think it's an important message. I read you loud and clear.

It's not about the money per se. It's the lack of trust. Some people spend their lives in suspicion. They think everyone's out to get them and treat the other like they're the enemy. And they aren't.

Dealing with them is a lot like hiking. A never-ending climb. Their behavior doesn't foster closeness. It wears you down and makes you quit or turn within. Until they show you differently you have to assume the best and believe they have your best interests at heart.

There's power in the ability to receive. To allow them to bless and be a blessing without looking for alternative motives and all that craziness. It's self-sabotage and you'll drive them away.

When you meet the woman you describe treat her like an asset. Don't make her jump through hoops and endless rounds of proving herself. Because she isn't the problem. He is. I've met people like that and I always hit the door. There's too many people who want and value your presence without putting you on a treadmill.

Some people want you to work for them. Work to be part of their life. Work to be included and accepted. I'll never do it. Take me as I am and we'll go from there.

I know you won't. You'll treasure her. You won't put her in a box or treat her like an adversary.

 

[DragonFox91]

Okay, start ‘splaining! Is this a guy thing or entertainment I’m missing? I watched cops years ago and cheaters too. Both were hilarious.

Cops is hilarious? IDK, I never watched it.
On YouTube there are full videos of police interrogations that have been released to the public, where it's 2-3 hours at least per interrogation of suspects under heavy questioning by the police. They are fascinating, but they are not hilarious b/c even w/ overwhelming evidence or when the detective finds holes in their stories, the suspects deny, deny, deny.
There's also analysis videos that explain what the detectives were trying to do & their strategies. Those are fascinating too.

 

[bèlla]

Cops is hilarious? IDK, I never watched it.

It featured dumb people doing dumb things and getting caught. You're laughing because you're baffled why they thought it would work.

I don't imagine interrogations would be funny. But I can see their appeal for people interested in the law or psychology. You can play spot the lie too. That helps with learning to read body language and pick up on deception. The FBI has similar items.

I used to read books on cults/cult leaders. I wondered how they found their victims and made them believe in them. That lead to related reads on manipulation, brainwashing, etc. The information is useful and serves me now.

I thought about being a lawyer. I worked for one for a several years. She was a family friend. I was interested in corporate law. But I couldn't defend someone I knew was guilty. I know what the law says but my moral compass wouldn't allow me to do it. They need to be punished.

It sounds like you've found an interesting past-time. You'll learn a lot. I certainly did.

 

[Saucy]

Especially when they say the crack isn't theirs, but it was in their pocket. "These aren't my pants."

 

[Saucy]

 

[GodAndChocolateVanilla]

I love reading The Bible.

 

[GodAndChocolateVanilla]

The Bible is a book I could read again and again.

 

[GodAndChocolateVanilla]

I had a good day with my family today.

 

[GodAndChocolateVanilla]

I hate the paper Bibles use. It’s so thin. Even garbage books have better paper than The Bible. Someone needs to make Bibles with better paper! Something as precious as The Bible should have better paper.

 

[GodAndChocolateVanilla]

I wish all books were Christian.

 

[GodAndChocolateVanilla]

I had a dream last night with The Anti Christ. It was scary. I don’t feel comfortable sharing what happened though. But The Anti Christ is coming so we have to be ready and keep praying to God Of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

 

[sampa]

People were more polite and courteous in the past. Now its a slugfest and that’s not conducive for edifying conversations or connections.

That sounds like what I hear about social media. It sounds like the place you returned to had changed quite a bit and maybe is how people are changing.

A co-worker said that she has noticed more people being mean in general. She thinks people wearing a mask has made it so people are not looking treating them like they do on the internet with faceless behavior. I think in general as a society people have been so much more mean. I have seen much kindness, but I also noticed driving behavior, people more in a rush, and less consideration for others. Covid-19 should have changed that it made us a much more caring society, but unfortunately it hasn't. At the same time there has been some good things that have come out of it.. that's a topic for another time.

If I was looking now I’d double down on r/t interactions. Especially if moving is out.

What is the acronym r/t interactions? I'm thinking you're talking about in person interactions.

have a church in my area full of young men and women. Mostly in their 20s and 30s. A few older ones too.

It sounds like there are some good options where you live. The nearest biggest city is 2 hours from me. But that's okay because I love the country and whoever I was to be paired with long-term, I imagine us working on land and yard work.

One thing I have been working on with relationships/ friendships this year is less texting. I did that a little bit too much in the past, and it wasn't a good investment for friendships. Real conversations on the phone and real-time meetings seems better and what I am striving for.