@Vinter
The recent comment on crushes brought a passage to mind.
You ask [God for something] and do not receive it, because you ask with wrong motives [out of selfishness or with an unrighteous agenda], so that [when you get what you want] you may spend it on your [hedonistic] desires.
Crushes are born of the flesh. The attraction is usually physical, emotional, or mental. Because of its origination, feeding expands it and it often grows swifter than the besotted expects.
The receptacle is usually clueless. They don’t know the extent of the focus, fantasy, or desire their presence evokes in the other. With continued nourishment believers turn to prayer.
There’s usually no agreement before it occurs. No mutual want for God’s intervention or shared interest. Just a one-sided desire headed for calamity.
You can’t move a person from a position unless they walk or they’re forced. Asking the Lord to make them like you, want you, marry you, without reciprocity or an inkling they want the same themselves is coercion. You’re asking Him to bend their will on your behalf for selfish reasons.
When the disciples asked Christ how to pray He said,
“Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” That ought to give us pause. Are we asking for things sanctioned in heaven or works of the flesh? That’s why prayers go unanswered.
You cannot pray illegitimately and expect to receive it from the Lord. We can’t force others to love us. We should be desirous of connections where that isn’t required. Where there’s give and take instead of endless striving.
You don’t have to convince anyone to want you who desires you. They’ll express it on their own. We don’t have to twist their arm or waste our time praying erroneously.
A threefold cord is not quickly broken because they’re intertwined. Coalescence is intentional. You don’t wrap yourself around someone you don’t want to be wrapped around. That’s how relationships occur in name only. They’ve never merged.
Better to seek the one who
wants to do you well all her days than the alternative.